Category: Love And Sex
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Essex Is The Randiest Place In The UK
According to statistics gathered by TheGayUK, Essex tops the list for randiest County in the United Kingdom. (more…)
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ADVICE | Do condoms protect you from every sexual disease?
This week our specialists Jake Jenkins and Jenna Thomas from 56 Dean Street talk about condoms.
Bigstock Dear TGUK & 56DS
Everyone says that If you want a safer sex, you have to use condom. But can it prevent all diseases?
Best JimmieDear Jimmie
Having safer sex means having sex which has less risk of catching or passing on an STI.
Using a condom is the best way to do this, however it doesn’t completely prevent you from catching an STI. Lots of things can affect how likely you are to catch an STI such as a condom slipping or breaking during sex and contact during foreplay such as rubbing, masturbating each other and oral sex. A few things that can help are ensuring a condom is used from start to finish during penetration, using latex condom friendly lubricant (such as water or silicone based) and regular screening for STIs.
Do not use Vaseline or oil based lubricants. You can walk in for a HIV test and Hepatitis B vaccines any time at 56 Dean Street and can make an appointment for a full screen. However if you are under the age of 20 you can walk in to the clinic at any time for a full screen. There is also a dedicated service for young people which runs Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening, details of this an be found on the website (http://www.chelwest.nhs.uk/services/hiv-sexual-health/clinics/56-dean-street/young-persons-services).
Even if you do everything right accidents can happen so it’s good to know about PEP, this is a course of medication you may be able to take if you have been at high risk of HIV. You can also walk in to the clinic to discuss PEP with a member of staff.
OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE
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Politicians Show Support For Online Sexual Health Campaign
The brand new sexual health campaign by The Gay UK and 56 Dean Street has received high profile support from MPs across the country with numerous politicians taking to their Twitter feeds to tweet #AskUsWeWontJudge. (more…)
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ADVICE | I Have Slept With Over 700 Guys Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?
Am I Addicted To Unprotected Sex?
Dear 56DS and TGUK
I’m in my mid 20s and I’m a bit of sex lover. I’ve probably been with over 700 guys in the last 2 years, which makes my friends laugh, but I think I’m a bit addicted to it.
Some of the sex has been whilst drunk or on drugs (never needles) and I can’t be certain that it’s always been protected sex.
I am around 80% the top in these shags. So I’ve been told that the likelihood is that I’m fine, but just wondering.
I’ve had a few STDs and had those cleared up but I’m feeling a little bit worried as I always do this time of year with WorldAIDS Day coming up…
I have been to the clinic, but not this year.
Hi there;
Thanks for your question.Being top may be less risky than being the bottom, but there is still a risk, and guys who only top still get HIV. This is because of HIV can also be found in mucosal secretions inside someone’s bum. Using condoms will protect you against HIV and most STIs regardless of how many partners you have. However, it’s possible that condoms break, or you can get STIs including HIV through oral sex, although getting HIV through oral sex is rare.
Some people say that taking drugs including alcohol makes them more relaxed and more likely to take risks. Sometimes when people get caught in the moment they may feel invincible and forget to do the things they normally would to protect their health. It’s really important that you keep control by using condoms and getting yourself checked regularly for sexually transmitted infections. This should be for all STIs not just HIV.
If you do have HIV finding out can save your life (if you have had it for many years) or add years to your life. HIV is now a manageable health condition and life expectancy may be almost the same if diagnosed early and you start treatment at the right time. It’s better to know as you can take control of your own health and protect your partners.
It sounds like you may want to visit our CODE clinic, a walk-in service between 5-7pm on Tuesdays for gay men who use drugs during sex. The team are super friendly, non-judgemental and there to help you. They can advise you on drug taking, help you to reduce or stop and explain more about risks of STIs. Also, they know a lot about the harder sex scene, if that happens to be your thing.
In terms of the number of partners, it’s really important that you are having a healthy, enjoyable sex life which is not harmful to your mental or physical health.
If you’re worried that you may have sex addiction then help is available. There is an online screening tool at www.sexhelp.com which is free. It will give you a score and explain what that means. There are also lots of resources on the www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk and www.recoverynation.com websites. We provide support at 56 Dean Street and if you visited the clinic with an appointment with a health advisor we could refer you to this service.
Hope that helps;
Jenna and Jake.
OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE
Got a problem you’d like advice on?
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The Gay UK and 56 Dean Street Announce UK’s First Online Sexual Health Clinic
TheGayUK and 56 Dean Street, the popular HIV and sexual health centre in Soho, are pleased to announce a brand new venture to bring sexual health information to your desktop, tab or Smartphone. (more…)
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Make Him Melt With Your Magic Touch
You know that story of Aladdin? The one where he rubs his lamp and gets his wishes? Well imagine your partner’s body is that lamp. A little bit of rubbing in the right places will have granting your every wish in bed.
Massage is a feel-good indulgence and it has real health benefits. It’ll improve circulation by encouraging the flow of blood to your body’s tissues and get rid of metabolites such as lactic acids. By stimulating the lymph nodes, you can improve the immune system, but best of all it stimulates the endorphins. You know, the body’s natural feel-good chemical.
So get your hands busy on your man – don’t go straight for the genie (new penis euphemism) try and rub around elsewhere and you’ll have him granting at least three wishes.
Preparation.
Ask your gentleman to lie stomach down on the bed. Naked. Now, this is the tricky bit, because you’ll probably want to get right down to business, but hold out – it will be worth it.
Put some pillows under his stomach to support the lower back. You – the masseur, should wear some loose fitting cotton, full-length joggers or pyjamas. If you don’t the massage will feel quite prickly once you start using oils.
Have the lights turned low, maybe some candles and some atmospheric and some music.
Essential oils are an amazing tool for a great massage. Fran Johnson from Neal’s Yard Remedies says:
“Use basil and lemon as they’d blend well. It’s all pretty subjective but you’ve got in there a base note of vetiver which is strengthening and an aphrodisiac, reviving and restoring basil with a top note of stimulating lemon. You could also use patchouli instead of vetiver as is a nice skin oil too along with black pepper which is strengthening & stimulating possibly with a drop of luxuriously de-stressing rose? The latter is probably more sensual and the former more energising …”
Place a pillow under his head so he can rest his head to one side comfortably.
Feet. Gently rotate each foot in circular motions 3 times clockwise and anticlockwise. Cup your hands around the ankles and rub downwards towards the toes. Work your thumbs into the sole of each foot and the arch of the foot. Feet carry a lot of tension, especially if your man spends a lot of time on his feet. Gently pull each toe to help release any tension in the toes. Sometimes you may hear them click as they release, this is fine and normal. Listen to his reaction. You soon learn what he loves and what he’s less keen on.
Legs. Working upwards, warm some essential oil into the palm of your hands and work your palm upwards towards the heart. Use moderate strength. When you reach the calf area use your thumbs into each of the calves. The calves are huge and strong muscles and may need extra attention. Keep the massage movement long and sweeping. The blood should really start pumping as you near the…
Buttocks. As tempted as you might be to stop off here and end the massage tour of his body. Don’t! It will be all worth the while when you’re done. The butt is the biggest muscle in the body, you can apply much greater pressure here to help release any tension that he may have. If your man is feeling a little self-conscious, then always massage from the outside edge of the buttock to the middle – if you work the other way round you will open the cheeks of the buttocks and expose him, which may make him feel uncomfortable.
Back. Running your fingers up his back should literally have your man squirming in pleasure. The back is a huge erogenous zone for many men – so he’ll enjoy a variety of different techniques here. Tracing his spine with your two thumbs run the entire length of the backbone, stretching out the top of the neck when you get there. The lower and middle back may be carrying a lot of stress, especially if he works in an office all day and sits for extended periods. Using some more oils and gauging your partner’s reactions start are the base of his back and work the muscly area either side of his spine. The shoulders maybe tense so start gently with your thumbs, progressively increasing the pressure to rub out those crunchy muscles.
Shoulders. Work your thumbs in circular motions; gently apply pressure and kneading the muscles. Be careful not to place both hands on the neck as this will feel like you’re about to strangle him.
Neck. It’s a very sensitive area, so again be gentle. Gently stroke and work your thumbs and fingers into the sides of the neck. Work your way into the back of the head, and gently knead the scalp.
With long sweeping motions run your hands doing his neck to his coccyx (tailbone just above his asshole.) Do this a few times. This should really get him purring. Run your fingers down his crack to his scrotum – he’ll most naturally open his legs wider for you to gain access. Run your fingers around the area to really get his passion lit.
Then let the passion commence. You can use the oils to have a slippery time together rubbing your bodies against each other – but it is best to rub away oils from the anus if you are going to penetrate. Essential and other massage oils will damage condoms and weaken condoms. Always use a water based lube with condoms. Never use essential oils as a lubricant for sex. You don’t want to end up in A&E.
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Sex With Strangers, Understand The One Night Stand
For those of you who read my last article, you’ll remember that I said the main thing to remember whilst dating, is to tell the truth, and be totally honest. Well, this piece boasts the complete opposite!
When it comes to the traditional one night stand, or having sex with strangers, none of the honesty or rules of chivalry apply! In fact, you probably stand a better chance of pulling, if you employ full use of your carefree attitude. So guys, when you’re getting ready to go out tonight, make sure the last thing you put on, is your shagger swagger!
The beauty of having sex with a stranger is that it can be completely anonymous, and string free. The best part of a relationship, with the added bonus, that it only lasts one night! For those of you that have never slept with a stranger, are you starting to see the appeal yet?
My advice is to completely invent yourself a pseudonym, build up a whole alter ego, do whatever you like, be whoever you like and do it with whoever you want to do it with! You have to make sure though, that when you’re building up your night-time image, that you have to remember your story! Stick to the lies, you’ll thank me in the morning – never let your secret slip!
Experiment, it’s always fun to try new things! If one nighters aren’t your thing, then honey, pick up your Bible and tighten up your chastity belt, 2012 isn’t the year for you! If you’re thinking of trying it out, then do it – don’t think too much, you might change your mind! If you’re a more seasoned bed hopper though, why not embrace your adventurous side – my motto – if it’s comfortable and slow – you just aren’t doing it right!
In my experience, it’s for the best that you Never Swap Numbers, once you do, you run the risk of (a) if you rocked his world, gaining a stalker (b) having to admit you lied and (c) making awkward conversation because you’re too nice to tell him to leave you alone! If you don’t feel comfortable saying no to giving him your number, and can’t make one up off the top of your head – take his, tell him your phone is dead and discard on the way home!
When sleeping with strangers, it’s a good idea to make sure you watch your level of Intoxication, you don’t want to be so drunk you end up waking up face down in a ditch, with your trousers around your ankles, and all of your possessions gone with the stars! I am going to say though you don’t want to be sober either; you just won’t enjoy yourself if you are! Get yourself to that merry state, and voilà, you’re in for a night filled with filth.
And, as ever, we at TheGayUK always promote Safer Sex, you can never be too careful! We know that in the heat of the moment, taking the time to roll down your condom is possibly the last thing on your list, but you have to be responsible!
I hope you enjoy your night, have fun, go wild but most importantly, think P.E.N.I.S. – Pseudonym, Experiment, Never Swap Numbers, Intoxication and Safer Sex.
As I always say, don’t be a fool – wrap that tool! If you need any advice, or for more information on sexual health visit: http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/ better to be safe, than sorry!
