Category: Wellness

  • 10 ways to reduce your risk of brittle bones

    Did you know that one in five men over the age of 50 will suffer a fracture due to weakened bones?

    ©-stetsik-Depositphotos
    ©-stetsik-Depositphotos

     

    Osteoporosis is known as the “silent disease” affecting around 3 million people in the UK. It mainly affects older people by weakening bone strength and density making breaks and fractures a lot more common.

    Worryingly our bone health starts to decline during our mid-30s but a new simple test of your finger and toenails can help you determine whether you’re at risk of osteoporosis.

    TV’s Doctor Dawn Harper said,

    “Osteoporosis is a condition often associated with older people, but our bone health starts to decline from our mid-30s, so early identification and intervention is critical to minimise risk and help manage osteoporosis later down the line.

    “Knowing your risk from early on will allow you to make necessary diet and lifestyle changes.

    “By combining a nutrient-rich diet, inclusive of calcium and vitamin D, with weight bearing and muscle strengthening exercises such as walking, jogging and Pilates, you can help slow down bone loss, strengthen bones and reduce the risk of a breakage.

    “This is especially relevant for those at increased risk of developing osteoporosis.”

     

    Dr Dawn Harper’s Top Tips to Reduce Risk of Osteoporosis

    1) Love your bones

     

    It’s never too early to start thinking about your bone health  – the more you can invest in healthy bones before your thirties, the stronger they will be for life. It’s also never too late to start looking after your bones, so whatever your age, keep reading and do all you can to protect your bones

    2) Go for dairy

     

    Bones need calcium, dairy products are a good source of dietary calcium but so are green leafy vegetables. If you are concerned about your calcium intake, talk to a pharmacist, GP or dietician about ways to increase intake which may include taking calcium supplements

    3) Catch some rays

     

    vitamin D helps your body absorb calcium and will also keep muscles strong and help prevent falls in older people.  If you’re not getting enough sunlight in the winter months, eat foods rich in vitamin D which include dairy products, oily fish, fruit, vegetables and cereals or  consider taking a supplement

    4) Watch your weight

     

    if your body mass index (BMI) is too high (above 24.9) or too low (below 18.5) it can put you at increased risk of osteoporosis

    5) Stress your bones

    CREDIT: gstockstudio-bigstock
    CREDIT: gstockstudio-bigstock

    Bones need to be used to stay strong  – do something every day to stress your bones – walking, running or dancing are excellent ways to keep your bones healthy

    6) Count those steps

     

    Invest in a pedometer. We should all be doing 10,000 paces a day and if you have a sedentary job you may be horrified by how short you fall. Making sure you manage those 10,000 steps will mean you walk 7.5Kms a day and this will go a long way to protecting your bones for the future

    7) Ditch the cigs

     

    smoking increases your risk of thin bones, so speak to your pharmacist or GP about smoking cessation services and make it a priority now

    8) Curb your drinking

     

    Stick to recommended alcohol limits which are less than you may think – just 14 units a week. Drinking more will increase the risk of osteoporosis

    9) Watch your fizz

    CREDIT: ©-everett225-Depositphotos

    fizzy drinks can leach minerals from your bones making you more prone to osteoporosis

    10) Assess your risk

    if you think you are at risk, speak to your GP about whether you would be eligible for a DXA scan or you could consider the Osentia at home testing kit (available online at www.osentia.co.uk or www.superdrug.com)

  • Coming Out

    Share your story of coming out.

    So we want to share experiences of coming out, the good, the bad and the ugly and archive them on this page. By doing this we’re hoping that those who can’t or have yet to make the decision to come out can read, learn and find hope in our stories.

    To read all our content on Coming Out, click here.

    Coming out is a deeply personal experience. Sometimes filled with joy, sometimes the process is completely nerve-wracking. By sharing these stories we give a voice to the LGBT+ community’s share experience on the journey to living more truthfully.

    Use the comments below to let us know

    and your story could be featured on this site.

  • OPINION | Is NHS England’s decision to fight PrEP provision homophobic?

    Is latent homophobia behind NHS England’s decision to fight the recent High Court judgement on the provision of PrEP?

    I’ve been quiet about PrEP for a while now, but earlier this year, at the National HIV Nurses Association conference in Manchester, I spoke passionately in favour of its implementation for those most at risk of HIV, angry at the way the NHS was attempting to wriggle out of commissioning PrEP by claiming it was the responsibility of local councils, none of which were likely to be able to afford it.

    Furthermore the NHS refused to offer any support to those of us on the PROUD study who would no longer have access to PrEP. Well things have moved on a bit since then. In August, in a huge victory for the National Aids Trust, who brought the case, the High Court ruled that the NHS does have a responsibility for commissioning PrEP. In his summing up, Mr Justice Green stated that,

    “No one doubts that preventative medicine makes powerful sense. But one governmental body says it has no power to provide the service and local authorities say they have no money.

    “The claimant is caught between the two and the potential victims of this disagreement are those who will contract HIV/Aids but who would not were the preventative policy to be fully implemented.

    “In my judgment the answer to this conundrum is that NHS England has erred in deciding that it has no power to commission the preventative drugs in issue.”

    Unfortunately, NHS England responded that they would appeal the decision with a cynically worded statement to the effect that PrEP was, “to prevent HIV transmission particularly for men who have high risk condom-less sex with male partners”.

    The NHS also stated that they would not now be able to confirm funding for treatments and services in levels three and four, which  just happen to include treatments for children who are deaf and have cystic fibrosis. Not surprisingly the statement resulted in some of the most vituperatively questionable headlines in recent years from, predictably, the Daily Mail, but also in The Times.

    Not only was NHS England giving out inaccurate information, but it was failing in patient responsibility by pitting one patient group against another, and one has to ask what was the motive behind issuing such a sensationalist statement.

    I am beginning to think someone at NHS England has a personal axe to grind. In the event, Ian Green, Chief Executive of the Terrence Higgins Trust, wrote a strongly worded letter to NHS England’s Chief Executive, Simon Stevens, expressing extreme “concern” with the wording of the NHS press statement.

    He concluded that,

    “PrEP is not a moral issue. PrEP is a treatment which can stop a population with ongoing major health inequalities from contracting a life threatening disease with lifetime treatment costs of up to £380,000. That is all and it should be treated as such.”

    As it happens, NHS England have now issued a statement to the effect that they have launched a consultation into the future of HIV-preventing PrEP, though the statement document notes that the consultation is being run without prejudice to the outcome of their appeal following a judicial review, and that their contention is still that it is not responsible for commissioning PrEP.

    In the meantime, NHS England’s latest proposal that it will routinely commission PrEP for the treatment of adults at high risk of HIV acquisition is good news indeed.

    Those considered at high risk and covered by the policy are high risk men who have sex with men, or MSM (a phrase I dislike intensely, though it seems we are stuck with it for the moment), trans women and trans men who have had anal sex without a condom in the last three months and are likely to again in the next three months; also partners of people living with HIV where they are not known to be on successful HIV treatment, and heterosexuals assessed to be at similar high risk to MSM.

    Those of us already on the PROUD study also received some good news when Gilead, the company which produces Truvada, agreed to provide the drug free of charge for existing PROUD participants for the next six months.

    I know I’ve banged on about it before, but I am convinced that the reason we are still having to fight for the implementation of PrEP, why we are even having this discussion at all, comes down to latent homophobia and a distaste for what we do in bed, and that moral judgements are getting in the way of facts.

    We already know that getting people with HIV onto treatment as soon as possible means that they can’t pass on the virus. Coupled with making those most at risk immune, we have a real chance here of bringing down HIV infection rates considerably. In San Francisco, a two-pronged strategy, using TasP (treatment as prevention) and increasing access to PrEP resulted in a staggering 34% reduction in new infections between 2012 and 2014, a figure that is likely to increase as the new treatments take effect.

    Yes, PrEP is expensive, though the price will come down considerably once Truvada comes out of patent in 2017, but, it is far more expensive to treat someone with HIV for the rest of their lives.

    And we’re not even taking into consideration the hidden costs of dealing with mental health issues that invariably follow a positive diagnosis. Now as it happens, my situation has changed over the last year or so. Whereas, when I started on PrEP, I was having lots of sex with multiple partners, I am now in a monogamous relationship and don’t need to be on it anymore.

    And here’s the point.

    HIV is something that will be with you for the rest of your life. PrEP is something you might need at certain points in your life. What’s more, the Ipergay study in France came up with a different model from the daily regimen. They found that if you took 2 pills prior to having sex, and then one more for two days afterwards, you would still be protected, which is something that would work for people who have organised sex lives.

    On the other hand PEP (post exposure prophylaxis), as I hope everyone knows, has been available for some time now. I was on it twice before going onto PrEP.  I know of people who are accessing PEP three or four times a year, which is already costing the NHS more than putting these people onto PrEP; and I’m now hearing about guys presenting themselves for PEP several times a year in an attempt to stock pile Truvada to use as PrEP. This too is far more costly than putting them on PrEP.

    It is my fervent hope that NHS England will lose their appeal and we can finally begin to bring down the escalating increase in new HIV infections in this country.

    Follow Greg Mitchell on Twitter

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Why does my boyfriend’s penis smell so much?

    So if you like peen – and we’re assuming you do – what happens if your boyfriend has a stinky pinky what can you do about it?

    Why does my boyfriend's penis smell so much?

     

    Well one concerned Reddit user asked the internet what could be done about the boyfriend’s stinky junk. The internet was well versed on this problem and wisdom leaked from every pore. Here’s 9 thing you could do…

    1) He needs to do more than just wash while showering.

    “The cause of the odor is in the skin so just washing off the goop isn’t going to completely eliminate the smell. He has to keep himself clean enough so that it doesn’t build up in the first place.”

     

    2) Proper cleaning.

    “Foreskin should be pulled back completely. He should rinse every part of the glans with his fingers and water. Rub away the smegma/residue.” salem2474

     

    3) Stop using soap

    “This part will be controversial, but….I stopped using soap. Like, nowhere on my body. And my odour improved. Other people who have tried no soap have reported the same thing.” salem2474

     

    4) Sugar monster

    Could sugar be your problem?

    “I neglected to add diet. I mostly cut out sugar. I’ve noticed if I ever go on a binge, there will be a temporary increase in odour/smegma just afterwards.”

     

    5) Get hard in the shower

    “I also know how easy it is to fix. tell him he needs to get hard in the shower, and once his forskin [sic] is stretching back, rub it with his fingers, he’ll be able to see how much white film is caked there (You really cant clean it soft) sugarantssuck

     

    6) Are you able to retract?

    “Is it difficult for you to pull back when soft? That could actually indicate something like phimosis. You’re supposed to be able to fully retract it while soft.”

     

    7) Save water and co-shower

    How to clean your penis from nasty smells
    ©-Dmyrto_Z-Depositphotos

     

    “Make it sexy by co-showering pre-sexy time.” IamtheBiscuit

     

    8) Rubber duckie

    “Rather than showers, take a long warm bath with lots of water and add some baking soda to the water.”Not_Reddit

     

    9) Dry it off

    “drying it properly also as a wet willy is perfect for bacteria to grow in under foreskin”judochop1

     

     


    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE


     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • Gay Men: Have you got willy woes?

    Gay Men: Have you got willy woes?

    We’re looking to help you with your willy woes.

    Along with our medical experts, we’re looking answer all of your penis problems, your tackle troubles and your willy worries.

    Maybe you don’t think it’s long enough

    What if it’s bent in a funny way?

    Or what if it’s not working altogether?

    Use the form below to get your dilemma answered without having to go to your GP!

  • ADVICE | I have little whiteheads on my balls

    This week a reader is concerned about little whiteheads on his ball bag. We ask Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori from Pharmacy2U whether it’s something to be concerned about.

    I have little whiteheads on my balls

    Dear TGUK
    I noticed that I have a few little whiteheads on my ball bag. They are tiny – maybe a few millimetres big.
    They don’t hurt and they’ve been there for as long as I can remember.
    I know this is gross but you can squeeze the little whiteheads – and a little bit of stringy white stuff comes out of them, when you do that. The pus or whatever it is doesn’t smell. I pop a few now and then in the bath – and sometimes a couple more appear a week later.
    Are they normal? Should I stop squeezing? Is it something to be worried about?

    Ben, Somerset

    Hi Ben

    You can get rashes on your testicles as you can any other part of your skin that are caused by anything from blocked pores to allergies or heat irritation.

    If anything, this area is a bit more sensitive so treat it with care. Shaving can often cause symptoms like yours. Could this be a factor? Have you had break outs anywhere else? Are you using a new body-wash or even a new washing powder that could be causing a reaction?

    Also, the weather has been humid lately and this can cause rashes through sweating. You need to ensure you wash regularly and properly dry yourself before dressing as rashes love moist, damp places! If you shave you need to keep the area clean afterwards.

    Rashes can be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) but from what you describe it doesn’t sound likely. However, if it doesn’t clear up, do go and see your GP or local GUM clinic just to make sure.  The majority of STDs can be treated quickly and efficiently the earlier they are diagnosed, so even if it is that I wouldn’t worry unduly at this stage. You can also get an STD testing kit online if you just want to put your mind at rest and rule that out.

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • There is no shame in admitting you suffer from work anxiety

    Every job has its own level of stress attached to it. Even if you truly love your job, or think your job is too easy to be stressful, don’t be fooled! There is always a small level of pressure on an unconscious level. Being part of the LGBT usually brings it’s own level of stress: maybe you feel the need to be closeted or at-least hide parts of who you are. But even without the added pressure of being part of the LGBT family the little things can sometimes be a strain.

    people at work
    CREDIT: ©-monkeybusiness-Depositphotos

    Little things like:

    • Having to get up at the same time each day to go to the same place.
    • There could be someone you do not really get on with but have to put up with on a daily basis.
    • The food may be off.
    • An unexpected request for overtime.
    • And so it goes on.

    Those are minor annoyances that can disrupt us and may put pressure on us. That feeling of dread and pressure that just seems to follow us and keeps creeping into our bodies. You start to feel that you are not accomplishing anything, as the day drags on or goes too fast. You begin to feel disconnected and grumpy. Nagging thoughts creep up on you. You start to think that there is no way you can get anything done now, and do it all on automatic pilot.

    That is a real bad day.

    Now think; how often do you feel this way?

    There are many people who have these feelings every day and this group just keeps growing.

    When anxiety is stress related it is hard to “get rid of it” as some might say. Work means having to be there day after day. So many people facing work stress feel as if they are descending into the gates of hell the moment they get up to get ready for another day at work. Then, at the end of the day, when the doors of their job close behind them there is no joy. There is only the continuous monotonous voice that tells them that “tomorrow will be exactly the same and so will the day after that, and the day after that, and …”

    These days the work floor is more competitive than ever. You have to work hard to stand out and be noticed. Overwork, trying to prove yourself, aiming for promotion and the fear of losing your job have made that many workers suffer extreme anxiety.
    You might recognise the symptoms in you or in someone you know:

    Mood Swings
    Short temper
    Highly Emotional
    Hyperventilation
    Heart Palpitations
    Thoughts of death
    Feeling of dread
    Panic Attacks
    Feeling out of control

    This is not how work should make you feel. If you recognise this in yourself or see it in others, try to get them, or yourself, help.

    The biggest problem is the fear of talking about it. You may be afraid that people will think the responsibility of your job is too much for you when admitting to feeling anxious. You may fear it might cost you your job. This is not likely, and in any event: if your symptoms get worse this could lead to making errors or a complete crash and burn and that is far more serious than just trying to get help.

    The best thing to do is find an independent counsellor and ask him or her for advise. You might wonder; What can a counsellor do for me? They can’t do my job for me, can they? Sadly no, they are unable to do that. But there is a lot that they can do to improve the quality of your life: Research has shown that when it comes to treating anxiety disorders counselling and therapy are usually the most effective options. This is because the focus is placed not just on the symptoms, but on all the underlying problems. Your anxiety and stress did not just appear out of no-where, there was a build up to it that needs to be found. Counselling can also help you manage panic attacks, build your self esteem and endurance and help you return to a more normal way of life.

    What if my problems are LGBT related? (Like being closeted, or semi hiding, as we mentioned earlier.) It is weird that in this day and age many counsellors are still not fully equipped to deal with LGBT related problems, but we are getting there. If you do an online search there are several counsellors that are either specialised in LGBT problems or sympathetic. Hopefully the number will grow and become a standard and not a bonus in the future.

    If you are aware of anxiety building in your life or that of a loved one, don’t think “well, I’m not making any mistakes yet.” Or “Other people can handle this, why can’t I?” Many people have gone before you that thought the same. They just wanted to “finish this project”, felt that one more all-nighter wouldn’t matter, they could “do it” all, no problem. They were wrong and it often led to serious consequences that they regret to this day.

    So why hold out on finding help until you have reached that wall, that point of no return? Why wait until you do have that accident or make that completely preventable screw up?

    Understand that there is no harm in seeking help, no shame. We seek help and treatment for all other parts of our body when they are in pain. Your brain is a part of your body and could be suffering its own form of pain right now. If you cut yourself you put a band aid on it before the wound becomes infected. If you pull a muscle when jogging you stop running for the day. Your brain is like a muscle that has been working too hard. Give it the band aid or break it needs. Counselling is always there for you to help you do this.

  • Which age group is most likely to contract a sexually transmitted infection?

    Which age group is most likely to contract a sexually transmitted infection?

    There’s a new report out to show that 36 per cent of new sexually transmitted diseases were attributed to one age demo.

    keeping company, social gathering,
    CREDIT: bigstock / Rawpixel.com

     

    Public Health England have warned that too many young people (15-24) are practicing unsafe sex as sexually transmitted diseases in that age group continue to sky rocket. Thirty-six per cent of new infections in 2015 were found in those aged just 15 to 24, with young Londoners at the epicentre of the sexual health crisis.

    Since 2011 diagnoses of syphilis and gonorrhoea in 15 to 24 year olds in London have soared 128 per cent and 61 per cent respectively.

    In 2015 those aged 15 to 24 living in the capital made up 36% of all new STI diagnoses; with gonorrhoea, chlamydia, genital warts, genital herpes and syphilis all being diagnosed.

     

    RISES from 2011 to 2015

    Syphilis: 128%

    Gonorrhoea: 61%

    Chlamydia: – 5%

    Genital herpes: 4%

    Although the number of reported STIs dropped by four per cent from 44,283 in 2011 to 42,457 this was accounted by the drop in new Chlamydia infections – which fell from 24,017 to 22,891.

     

    Dr Yvonne Doyle, regional director for PHE London, said,

     

    “These figures show that too many young people in London are continuing to have unsafe sex, putting themselves at unnecessary risk of contracting STIs.

    “Young Londoners are one of the groups we know are at increased risk of experiencing poor sexual health, along with men who have sex with men (MSM) and black ethnic minorities.

    “Young people tend to have more sexual partners and are more likely to have unsafe sex. These factors mean they are at increased risk of contracting STIs and becoming re-infected.

    “Working closely with young Londoners and other at risk groups is vital to deliver effective public health interventions and improve their sexual health outcomes.”

     

    Dr Patrick French, a sexual health specialist and genitourinary medicine consultant at The Mortimer Market Centre, Central and North West London NHS Foundation Trust, said,

    “Today’s report highlights that too many young people in London continue to be disproportionately affected by STIs.

    “To reduce infections among this at-risk group access to good quality preventative, testing and treatment services is vital. They must also be welcoming and open to overcome any worries or embarrassment young age people might have about going to clinic.

    “I still regularly see young people in clinic with newly diagnosed STIs, who struggled to find the right service for testing and treatment. Developing and strengthening easily accessible sexual health services for young people in London must be a priority.”

     

    Are you worried about your sexual health but are too afraid to go to the doctor – speak to our expert team, use the box below confidentially. For more details on how we use your information click here.

    ← Back

    Thank you for your response. ✨

  • ADVICE | Can we use a cucumber in the bedroom?

    ADVICE | Can we use a cucumber in the bedroom?

    This week a reader asks whether it’s safe to use certain fruit and veg to spice things up in the bedroom.We ask our writers for their thoughts…

    Can we use a cucumber in the bedroom?

    Dear TGUK

    My boyfriend and I are quite adventurous when it comes to the bedroom and we’re wondering whether we could use fruit and veg and other foods as part of our activities? Is it dangerous to insert things like cucumbers and carrots?

    Paulo,

     

    Dear Paulo,

    Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

    Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint. To answer your question about carrots and cucumbers, extreme caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or give good grip. Many people have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot lodged in their rectums. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

    Oh did I say use lots of lube…   

    If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

    It’s best to use implements that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use. 

    If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. Oh did I say use lots of lube…   

    Got a sex health question use the form below to get in touch

  • DILEMMA | My husband wants to be a drag queen – I think our marriage is over

    This week a reader is trying to keep his marriage together as his husband decides to become a drag queen. Concerned that the relationship is about to fall apart he writes to THEGAYUK’s Dannii Cohen.

    CREDIT: © feedough | Depositphotos

    Dear Dannii

    I’m a bit lost on what to do. My husband has decided to become a drag queen – and he’s actually become quite well-known in a relatively short time. Problem is that it’s tearing us apart and we never see each other anymore.

    We used to have very similar jobs with similar hours – but now he’s always travelling the country and abroad. I’m not jealous of other guys. I know he’s being faithful, but I can’t see this working. He’s changed a lot, personality wise, he’s become a lot more feminine, and I feel him drifting away from me. He’s started talking a lot more about his work, how his drag half is really important to him and that sometimes he just wants to hang about as his drag persona – even when he’s not performing. Could he be wanting to transition?

    As I said, I’m just not sure, But I’m really unhappy about the changes, but at the same time I don’t want to throw away 6 years of our relationship.

    What should I do?

    Dear Reader,

    This is an interesting and difficult problem. Not knowing all the details, except for the ones you have given me in your letter it is hard to give you any concrete advice but I will try to.

    Has your husband ever shown any interest in drag or transgender issues prior to the last few months? No-one suddenly decides to become a drag artist so it should be something that has been on his mind for a long time, bursting to come out. As this is a big step it is understandable that it brings a lot of changes with it and some might be uncomfortable to his friends and family.

    Starting out in drag and sustaining a professional career in it can be very all-consuming so his obsession doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to transition. If you watch documentaries about drag or something like RuPaul’s drag race you can see that to most drag artists it’s their whole life. But not many of the contestants want to be a full-time women. It is just building a character and finding the right look and act that takes a very long time to perfect. Dressing in drag around the house could be part of this: a lot of drag artist do this to keep in touch with the character and make her feel natural to them.

    Becoming a little more feminine is only to be expected as over time the character might slip into day life sometimes. Becoming successful relatively quickly might also have something to do with it.

    My main suggestion is to talk to your husband: begin by showing an interest in what he does. Compliment his outfits/jokes/characters. Have you seen his act recently? Join him on a few shows that are nearby. If he’s travelling in the weekend, try to join him on a trip. Stay in touch by texting, calling, Skype.

    Showing an interest might help both of you as you become more familiar with his life and his act.
    This will help you get more involved in his new life and over time it might feel less strange to you.

    Showing that you are actively trying to understand is especially important because if you were to just out of the blue go: “I feel a bit awkward about this”, or: “are you transgender”, it might come across as hostile or even an attack or insult.

    Ask how being a woman makes him feel then, one day ask, as casual as possible if he’d want to be a woman full time.

    If he says yes you can make up your mind about the relationship and if you’d want to continue as a couple or remain friends.

    If he says no but you still feel unhappy about all the changes, sadly ending the relationship might be best.
    Always with love,
    Dannii

     

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here to visit our dilemmas page.

     

     

  • UK’s Biggest AIDS charity prepares to defend historic win against NHS England on PrEP

    NAT (National AIDS Trust) prepares to defend historic win against NHS England on PrEP

    (C) marcbruxel Depositphotos

    The charity has launched a crowdfunding appeal in order to raise vital funds to cover their legal costs for the appeal. NHS England is appealing the ruling that said they unlawfully cut PrEP, the drug which prevents HIV transmission, from their commissioning process.

    PrEP could be the beginning of the end for HIV – a condition more than 6,000 people a year are diagnosed with in the UK – but NHS England says it doesn’t have the legal power to pay for it because it’s a prevention drug. However in August, following Judicial Review by NAT, Mr Justice Green ruled that they are wrong and there is no legal impediment to them funding PrEP.

    Despite the strength of the ruling against their stance, NHS England is forcing the case to go back to court. NAT is now aiming to raise at least £15,000 by 22 September in order to support the costs of the case. The hearing for the appeal will take place on 15 September at the Royal Courts of Justice.

    Deborah Gold, CEO at NAT, said,

    “We are very disappointed to be having to go to court again to ensure that the NHS can’t just shut the door on PrEP.

    “By unlawfully and suddenly removing PrEP from their commissioning process, NHS England denied the rights of those who need it to have the case for PrEP heard in a fair and impartial way. We can’t stand back and allow poor decisions like this to go unchallenged.

    “The truth is that PrEP not only works – it is cost-effective. We will continue to fight for PrEP to be made available on the NHS because it is the right thing to do and it makes financial sense for the country.”

    Ian Green, Chief Executive of Terrence Higgins Trust which supported the crowdfunding campaign with a £3,000 donation, said,

    “We are extremely grateful to NAT for taking on NHS England in the High Court, as part of the ongoing effort to see PrEP made available to those at risk of HIV.

    “PrEP – alongside condom use, treatment and testing – could be the final piece of the jigsaw in stopping HIV transmission in the UK.  This is a cause worth fighting for.

    “We stand united with NAT and the HIV community in continuing the fight for this game-changing preventative treatment, and have been pleased to be able to provide a donation from Terrence Higgins Trust towards the charity’s legal costs.”

    Deborah Gold added,

    “We want to thank everyone who has so far contributed to our legal costs throughout this part of the fight for PrEP as well as those who would like to now.  You have enabled us to stand up for the rights of people whose voices may otherwise not be heard.”

     

    This article was written by NATIONAL AIDS TRUST, but is not a paid for piece of content.