THEGAYUK

Category: Wellness

  • 3 problems you’re not weird for worrying about

    3 problems you’re not weird for worrying about

    When it comes to your health, there might be certain things that you want to keep close to your chest for fear of being judged if you were to speak up.

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    But, let’s be honest – it’s likely that what you’re going through has happened to someone else. So, instead of putting your wellbeing on the back burner, it might be time to face up to your health woes. In this article, we take a look at three problems that you’re not weird for worrying about and what you can do to solve them once and for all.

    1. Erectile dysfunction

    CREDIT: Yastremska-bigstock

    Erectile dysfunction (ED) is when a man is unable to get or maintain an erection. This condition can be extremely embarrassing, and it can have a huge impact on your sex life and relationship with your partner. However, while your ED might leave you feeling down, you should realise that you’re not alone. ED is a very common problem. In fact, it’s estimated that 50 per cent of guys between the ages of 40 and 70 will have it at some point. That being said, ED should never be ignored. The condition could be a sign of a much more serious health complaint, such as heart disease, so it’s crucial that you get yourself checked out if your ED lasts for more than a couple of weeks. Treating the underlying cause of your ED could help relieve your symptoms, as well as improving your overall health and wellbeing.

    There are also a number of targeted treatments you could try. For example, Viagra is a commonly used prescription medicine that can help men gain and maintain an erection that is sufficient for sex. It works by increasing the flow of blood to the penis, which produces an erection. For more information about Viagra, you could visit trusted online sources such as Online Doctor LloydsPharmacy, or you could speak to your doctor.

    2. Premature ejaculation

    Penis trouble
    CREDIT: bigstock-twinsterphoto

    Premature ejaculation (PE) refers to a man ejaculating too soon during sex and many guys will have experienced this to some degree. If it happens now and again, PE isn’t usually a major cause for concern, and it’s also important to remember there are no set rules when it comes to how long you should last during sex. However, if you find that your PE is becoming a regular occurrence and it’s starting to affect your enjoyment between the sheets, you might start to worry that there’s something wrong.

    It’s not always clear why PE occurs, but it’s thought that there are a number of factors that could lie at the root of the problem. For example, it could be linked to a physical health issue, such as prostate or thyroid problems, or it could be linked to depression, stress and anxiety.

    The good news is, there are a variety of things you can try to help solve the problem. If a physical problem underlies your PE, it’s crucial to seek advice from a doctor, or if you feel the condition is psychological, you could undergo therapy from a trained specialist. There are a number of treatments you could try too, such as specially designed anaesthetic creams that numb your penis and prescription tablets that can delay the ejaculation impulses in the brain.

     

    3. Hair loss

    CREDIT: ©-nd3000-Depositphotos

    For many guys, hair loss is a natural part of the ageing process. For instance, male-pattern baldness is the most common type of hair loss and it affects nearly half of all men by the time they are 50 years old. While some men don’t mind losing their locks, it can be an extremely difficult and upsetting time for others. If you’re worried about your thinning tresses, don’t panic – you don’t necessarily have to put up with this change if you don’t want to.

 For example, if you’re experiencing male-pattern baldness, there are treatments you could try to halt or even reserve your hair loss. Finasteride, for example, is a prescription medicine taken in tablet form that works to stop the hormone testosterone being converted into dihydrotestosterone – the hormone that causes the hair follicles to shrink. Blocking its production means that the follicles have the chance to grow back to their normal size. For more information about finasteride or the other types of hair loss treatments that are available, you should speak to your GP.

     

    This article was brought to you by Lloyds Pharmacy. (What does this mean?)

  • DILEMMA | I’m not sure if I’m gay – I play football and go on lads’ holidays

    This week a reader asks Dr Dannii Cohen whether he’s really gay, because he likes football and goes on lads’ holidays to Ibiza.

    Can I be gay? I like football and lad's holidays

     

    Dear Dannii,

    Up until recently I only dated girls, but I’m starting to see guys as quite attractive. My friends would consider me one of the lads – I play football and go on lads’ holidays to Ibiza… I don’t really do stuff that’s usually considered “gay” so I’m not sure. Also, I’m worried that my mates will disown me if I come out. I don’t fancy any of them, but they may think I do and that I’ve been hiding my feelings for them. I know they aren’t particularly gay-friendly. It’s been cause for a bit of banter in the past.

    Stephen, Portsmouth

     

    Dear Stephen,

    Thank you for writing in.
    From what you have told me it looks like you could very well be bisexual but focused only on girls in the past because that is ‘the norm’.
    Before you come out, try to see if your feelings go beyond just being attracted: go to a gay bar and dance with someone, go on dates, kiss a guy. No reason to come out if you don’t know how far your feelings go.

    What do you think those special things that are considered ‘gay’ actually are? There is no reason why someone gay or bi could not be ‘one of the lads’ as gay men come in all shapes and forms, but your friends may, of course, have a stereotypical image in their head.

    I am not going to lie: it’s hard coming out inside the kind of group you are in, though there have been some surprising success stories over the years.

    Do you have a close friend in the group that you trust and feel you can confide in? Or maybe one of them has an open-minded girlfriend you can talk to? Either of them could have your back during a coming out.

    If you take the step try to explain that this changes nothing: you’re still the same footballing lad you always were. Try to stay calm and answer any questions as good as you can.

    There is no guarantee that everyone will accept you immediately but you will never know if you don’t try. Try doing it on a night when the atmos is great, after a good tryout match for example. If people feel good they are more positively open. Also, try to come out in a safe public space where people are known to intervene if something goes wrong.

    Whatever you do: please discover your true feelings before starting a process that’s difficult to reverse. The moment you are secure about who you are is the moment you feel stronger when coming out.

    Always with love,
    Dannii

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  • 7 reasons your penis does not smell so good

    Is your manhood smelling less than rosy? There might be a number of reasons for that hideous cheesy aroma that’s making all the lads faint…

    why does my penis smell so bad
    CREDIT: Depositphotos

    No one wants a smelly penis. So if you’re wondering why yours is smelling so bad, here are some reasons, as always if you’re really concerned about your health then book yourself an appointment with your doctor.

    Just general sweat and dirt…

    Are you cleaning down there enough? Guys who tend to do a lot of sport might be getting smelly in their private parts. Make sure after each workout or run that you wash your genitals using fresh, clean warm water. Your groin could be causing the smell rather than your penis. It’s a brilliant place for bacteria to multiply by their millions. It’s dark, damp and warm – the perfect environment.

    Crotch rot

    Yep, as nasty as that sounds – some sports fanatics will know about crotch rot, it’s caused by wearing dirty underwear or jocks for a prolonged period. Make sure after exercising that you wash your undies, in a hot wash to get rid of any bacteria. BTW it does have a proper name, it’s called Tinea cruris. It causes itching or burning in the groin area and near the anus. It can be caused by athlete’s foot and can be transferred through your clothing. So be careful when putting your trousers on!

    Smegma

    Smegma is a cheesy, white looking substance that you’re more likely to have if you’re uncut (have a foreskin), although cut guys produce it too. It’s a natural lubricant for the penis, but it does start to smell if you don’t wash it. It’s basically made up of dead skin cells, fatty oils and other debris from penis secretions. That cheesy smell? Well, that’s bacterial breakdown my friends. So give it a wash.

    Balanitis

    Poor hygiene will cause Balanitis, an inflammation of the head of the dick. The foreskin can also be infected. It can also be created by a thrush infection or other skin condition. See your doctor if this happens.

    STIs

    Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia can both cause your cock to smell. You might not even know you have either of these infections, but it’s wise to look out for these symptoms:

    • White discharge from your penis – when you’re not peeing or cumming
    • A painful, burning when you pee
    • Penis irritation and needing to pee frequently.

    Go see your docs and do not delay.

    You’re not washing it properly

    If you give your penis the showerhead but not giving it a good old rub, you might not be getting all the smeg off. So as well as the shower head get your fingers over that helmet and give it a good rub!

    No roll back…

    If you can’t roll back your foreskin or your foreskin is really tight around the head of your penis there might be a build up of dirt and bacteria which you’re not able to wash away. You should probably try and get an appointment with your GP to discuss what you can do about it…

     

  • ADVICE | I have genital herpes and it’s cleared up… Can I have unprotected sex?

    This week Dr Nitin Shori answers a question from a reader who is concerned that they might pass on herpes, even though the outbreak has cleared up.

    I have genital herpes and it's cleared up... Can I have unprotected sex?

    Dear Doctor
    I was diagnosed with genital herpes 1, 6 months ago and have recently started to use Valtrex treatment. Is it possible to have unprotected sex with someone not infected? Or is there still a chance they can contract it even if there are no outbreaks?

    Thank you

     

    Once you have been infected with the herpes simplex virus, it will remain in your body and can lead to occasional outbreaks.

    Unfortunately, it is possible for you to pass the virus that causes genital herpes to a sexual partner at any time – even if you are not experiencing an outbreak and have no symptoms.

    Transmission is even more likely during an outbreak. Condoms are proven to reduce transmission.

    Even if you do not have symptoms, people at risk of passing on herpes should always use an effective barrier method of practising safe sex, such as a condom or dental dam. The same virus causes cold sores and genital herpes and can be passed from one area of the body to the other during oral sex if protection is not used.

    ALSO READ: Ask the doctor…. Did I catch herpes?

    Valtrex helps the body to fight the herpes simplex virus but is not effective in preventing it from being passed from one person to another.

     The symptoms of a genital herpes episode can include small blisters in the anal or genital area, which burst to leave small red sores which can be painful; pain when urinating; stinging, tingling, or itching in the genital area; and a general feeling of malaise, or a flu-like symptom. Prescription treatments are available that shorten the duration and severity of an outbreak.

    Dr Nitin Shori is the Medical Director of the Pharmacy2U Online Doctor service,

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

  • 7 amazing foods for your liver

    Why You Should Love Your Liver This January, 7 Amazing Foods To Boost Your Liver Function

    Foods really good for the liver

    It’s the New Year, and of course, everyone is talking about detoxing. Bottles of wine stashed in the vegetable drawer of the fridge are being replaced with, well, vegetables! We are dusting off our blenders, and juicing anything green. But what does the term detoxing actually mean? And can we really reverse the effects of our festive indulgences with a dry January?!

    The good news is that our liver, the second largest organ (the first being the skin) and the detoxification hub of our bodies, is busy detoxifying all of the time. Even in December! The liver metabolises everything that we eat and are exposed to and detoxifies the entire body’s system from all ingested toxins.

    Over the festive period, it is likely that our liver has had to work a little harder than usual, having been overburdened with alcohol, sugar and processed foods not usually consumed in such vast quantities! But we can be motivated by the fact that the liver is amazingly regenerative, and through diet, there is a lot we can do to help it. This essentially is what we are aiming to do when we “detox”, and there are certain foods that have powerful liver-boosting effects.

    Top 7 foods to boost liver function

    1) Cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and kale. These are all rich in sulphur-containing compounds, which help the liver to detoxify by boosting the production of high levels of detoxifying enzymes.

    2) Garlic is rich in sulphur-containing compounds, and in addition, contains selenium and allicin- two powerful nutrients that help protect the liver from toxic damage.

    3) Green tea is loaded with catechins, a type of antioxidant (compounds that help the body get rid of harmful free radicals) that have been shown in studies to promote liver function and prevent the accumulation of dangerous fat in the liver http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v26/n11/abs/0802141a.html.

    4) Turmeric, the key component is curcumin, a potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory that prevents the liver from damage and can help to regenerate new liver cells. Turmeric also helps to stimulate the production of bile, necessary for the breakdown and processing of fats and proteins from your food, and the removal of waste and toxins.

    5) Bitter greens, such as dandelion, chicory and rocket. The bitterness of these foods helps to stimulate bile flow. They are also high in chlorophyll which plays a role in cleansing the blood and ridding the body of ingested toxins.

    6) Beetroot is bursting with antioxidants and folic acid for detoxification. It also contains betaine, a compound which promotes the regeneration of liver cells.

    7) Avocados are rich in glutathione, the ultimate liver-boosting antioxidant which prevents damage to the liver and aids detoxification.

    It really cannot be emphasized enough; loving your liver is one of the most important things that you can do for your health this January.

  • 6 ways to get better night’s sleep

    6 ways to get better night’s sleep

    Are you finding it hard to get to sleep at night?

    how to get a better night's sleep
    CREDIT: Dmytro-Sidelnikov-bigstock

    Everybody functions better after a good night’s sleep and the medical profession have long suggested that 8 hours of sleep works best for most people, but what if you’re caught in an insomniac cycle. It can be one of the most frustrating things in the world as the rest of the world sleeps, your mind is working overtime and sleep feels ever so elusive.

    Here are 6 tips to help you sleep better.

    Earl Sandoval from healthandwellnessfacts.com suggests,

     

    A change Of diet

    Avoid caffeine at all costs. That doesn’t just mean from coffee, there’s caffeine in so many products, including tea and many soft drinks. Even chocolate. Earl suggests foods such as “bananas and Cherries contain tryptophan, potassium and magnesium which are muscle relaxants and thus good for sleep if taken 30 minutes before bedtime”.

    Make your bedroom a sanctuary

    A peaceful night’s rest comes from an uncluttered mind. So make your surroundings uncluttered. Keep work out of the bedroom, that includes emails. Why not leave your mobile phone out of your room. If you charge it at night, put it in another room. Don’t forget some mood lighting.

     

    ALSO READ: How I saved £12,000 by giving up alcohol

     

    Exercise

    Earl says, “One study found that insomniacs who picked up a regular exercise routine slept better, felt less depressed, and had more energy all day. If working out at night interrupts your sleep, squeeze in a morning run instead. Give yourself enough time to cool off before bedtime.”

    Make dinner a light meal

    Don’t go to bed full of food it can make you feel very uncomfortable and bloated. Do you know how much energy you use to digest heavy meals? A lot and all that energy could disrupt your sleep patterns. If you’re having trouble getting off to sleep and getting up in the morning it could be to do with heavy meals that are taking a toll on your body.

    Sex

    Earl says, “Good sex can enhance sleep for both male and female. Men and women usually snap off to a sound sleep immediately after sex.” Why? Well, after sex a chemical called oxytocin is released. This helps with and promotes restful sleep. Hurrah.

    Lights out

    Try and get your room as dark as possible. Light from TVs, phones or even night lights might send your brain signals that it’s time to get up. Earl says, “Note that even a small amount of light from your cell phone or computer can disrupt the production of melatonin (a hormone that helps to regulate sleep cycles) as well as the overall sleep.”

  • I saved at least £12,000 on alcohol by giving it up

    I saved at least £12,000 on alcohol by giving it up

    I recently celebrated my third Christmas and New Year’s Eve without alcohol and it got me thinking about the money I’ve saved since giving up drinking alcohol.

    I didn’t give up drinking because of money but it certainly hasn’t hurt my bank balance after I discovered that I’ve saved over £12,000 since giving up the alcohol.

    I became a non-drinker in the summer of 2014 after a working out that alcohol was doing nothing for my mental health. After suffering a series of extraordinary panic attackers, leading me to some of the darkest moments of my life, I wondered if drinking had anything to do with it. It turns out that it did.

    Over two years later, my anxiety is manageable and rarely keeps me up at night. It’s the biggest gift I’ve ever given to myself.

    So apart from the biggest gift, what else has no alcohol given me?

    Well, I’ve not spent over £12,000 on alcohol. So how did I come to this staggering number?

    Here’s how: I eat out probably twice a week, and have a glass or two of wine – let’s say £6 per glass (they were always large) that’s £12 per meal twice a week – that’s £24, also ready I’m £1,248 better off.

    Then there was the at home drinking, yep, I think I could easily sink 5 bottles of wine a week. So let’s get those priced up at £6 per bottle that’s £30 per week – that’s £1,560 per year and I’m already at £2,888 per year. That’s not considering birthdays, Christmases, New years and holidays where much more would be consumed.

    So where the rest of the money?

    How much do you spend on a night out? If I went out one night a week (who goes out just once!) there’s no doubt that I’d spend at least £70 on drinks in an evening (London prices). So let’s add that up… that’s a whopping £3640 per year… and don’t forget the cabs homes, at least £360 per year and the dirty kebab, which I’d probably have 20 times a year – £130. This element of my evening just no longer exists. I drive instead of public transport and cabs and because I’m not drunk I don’t crave the dirty kebab.

    Now not spending at least £6448 per year on alcohol. So what am I drinking instead, well some soft drinks when I’m out, which cost a third of the price and I don’t drink nearly many of those as I did glasses of wine, you actually can’t.

    So what am I drinking instead? Well some soft drinks when I’m out, which cost a third of the price and I don’t drink nearly many of those as I did glasses of wine, you actually can’t.

    At home, I drink water – with a squeeze of lemon. The cost of which is pennies per week.

    Then: Glasses of wine with meal £6 x 4 = £24 x 52 weeks = £1248
    Now: £1.50 x 4 x 52 = £312
    Then: Bottles of wine a week £6 x 5 = £30 x 52 weeks = £1560
    Now: Basically free, unless I have soft drinks which never exceeds £10 per week. Let’s say £520 per year.
    Then: Drinks on a night out £70 x 52 = £3640
    Now: £20 x 52 =£1040
    Then: Cabs from a night out: £30 x 12 (at least) = £360
    Now: Nothing
    Then: Dirty Kebabs: £5 x 26 = £130
    Now: Nothing
    Total: £6938 per year take away the differences: £5,066
    Over 28 months that’s £11,820.

    How did I give up? Well, I owe it to this book: Allen Carr’s No More Hangovers, which took me a morning to read. The best £4.99 I’ve ever spent.

  • ADVICE | He sexually assaulted me, now what?

    This week, a reader asks whether he’s at risk of sexual infection after a non-consensual oral sex act. He’s concerned that he might have a sexually transmitted infection.

    Dear TGUK

    A man recently put their mouth on my penis for a few seconds before I told them to get off. It was not exactly consensual. I have a boyfriend and I am very worried the guy could have passed on an STI to me.

    Are the chances of doing so very low seeing as it was only a second or two and it was receptive? Thanks

    Thanks

    Steve

     

    Dear Steve,

    Firstly, let me say how sorry I am to hear that this has happened to you. What the guy did was sexual assault and that shouldn’t be brushed aside. If you didn’t want it to happen, it shouldn’t have. All too often we shrug off behaviour like this and it really isn’t acceptable. There are great tips on the gov.uk website to help with dealing with sexual assault.

    However, you might be relieved to hear that catching an STI from this brief encounter is low-risk, especially for HIV. However, there are other infections you might want to look out for such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, which can both be passed on by the giver and receiver of oral sex regardless of how long it went on for. Both of those infections can be symptomless, to begin with, so it’s important to get yourself checked out as soon as possible.

    If you are worried you should make an appointment to go to a clinic, or just pop along to a walk-in clinic. There are some amazing services – and now, there are even sexual health tests that you can buy online.

    According to the specialists at 56 Dean Street, one of the UK’s busiest sexual health clinics, Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life. you should try and make regular visits every six months to once a year if you’re sexually active.

    So don’t delay in getting a test booked in. The sooner you do, the quicker you can put your mind at rest.

     

  • 10 ways to fight the festive flab

    10 ways to fight the festive flab

    Garry Kerr from British Military Fitness should know a thing or two about getting fit. He shared a few of his top tips to fight the Christmas Pudding bulge.

    how to get fit after Christmas
    CREDIT: curaphotography-bigstock

    Nom, nom, nom…extra eating: During the winter and especially over the festive season we typically eat more than we would normally and exercising is a great way to burn those extra calories and keep yourself in shape so when spring finally arrives you’re in tip top shape! Here are some tips to help you beat the Christmas flab!

    1. Keep a fitness journal!
    A workout log can help keep your exercise routine on track when you’re struggling to stay motivated because it will show you how far you’ve come since you started, and therefore how worthwhile it is to keep going.

    2. Commit yourself.
    Get moving! Just do it! There is no time like the start of a New Year. You’ve got the indulgences of Christmas behind but it’s important you commit. Why not write all the classes you can attend in your diary so they are viewed as actual appointments and you’re less likely to cancel.

    3. Set short-term goals
    Having something specific to aim for, such as losing a certain amount of weight or entering a race / marathon for example the Major Series (www.majorseries.com) in the Spring will help you stick to your training plan. But make sure your goals are achievable. Setting and failing to reach outlandish targets will put you off.

    4. Find the fun in it
    Exercise should not feel like torture. After all, you have made a conscious decision to do it. You can take great pleasure from overcoming challenges and progressing with your fitness alongside other people.
    Does that mean that it will be easy? No. In order to change your body, you need to experience ‘overload’. This means that you need to keep challenging your body in order to increase your fitness levels. You will however improve your fitness levels if you rest and recover properly after each workout.

    5. Reward yourself
    Once you’ve hit one of your targets reward yourself. By training and committing to your training you’ve earned the right to spoil yourself. Whether it’s a new item of clothing or fitness-related gadgets or clothing – enjoy your achievements.

    6. Use visualisation
    If you don’t believe that you can do that final burpee or make it through those final reps, you certainly won’t be able to but by picturing yourself doing it before you try it, you’ll create a mental template that can translate into success.

    7. Eating right
    Food is 90% of the health and fitness battle. You can make great changes just through making small adjustments to your eating habits alone. While changing any habits may seem like a daunting task, there is a wealth of resources available to guide you. By eating a regular mix of proteins, fats and carbohydrates you will reap the benefits of your physical training routine. You will have both the energy to perform and the nutritional foundations needed for recovery. This exercise and nutrition relationship will help you to achieve your goals

    8. Be realistic
    Rome wasn’t built in a day. Unfortunately, while over-used, there is some truth in that saying.
    A healthy approach is to aim to improve on yesterday. By repeating this process you will start to feel like you have made great improvements over a course of weeks, months and years. It is also important to consider where you want to be.

    9. There is gain without pain!
    While exercise should be challenging in order to encourage the body to adapt and therefore improve, it should not lead to any injuries.
    Many people, particularly those new to exercise can become over enthusiastic because of the physical changes that they experience. Our bodies can only truly complete exercises at 100% intensity for a number of seconds. Exercises completed over the course of an hour-long session are performed below maximum intensity. You should therefore focus more on your technique and try to work as hard as possible but not push yourself to the point of nausea.

    10. Abandon an all-or-nothing attitude
    Don’t think of exercise with an all-or-nothing approach. If you unexpectedly miss a session, don’t beat yourself up. Just get back on track tomorrow. Remember; exercise and fitness is a way of life, it’s not a destination.

    British Military Fitness (BMF) is the UK’s number one provider of outdoor fitness classes. BMF was the first, it’s the biggest and it’s the best. Come rain, shine or snow, BMF runs over 400 classes a week in over 120 parks and outdoor spaces across the UK. www.britishmilitaryfitness.com

  • 5 tips on how to keep your New Years resolutions

    5 tips on how to keep your New Years resolutions

    Midnight hits and we all imagine that we can become a different person; the parts of ourselves that are less than perfect come under intense scrutiny. And indeed it is certainly a bleak outlook; only 8% keep to their resolutions, with most of the drop off being within the first week. So how do I commit to my new year’s resolution and actually make it work for me.

    CREDIT: Alen-D / Big Stock

    1) Planning
    Ok boring I know, but if you want to be successful in any way you need to prepare. This comes in many forms. For example, if you are trying a healthy eating plan, the leftover food and chocolates will only act as temptation. If you are joining a gym or taking part in any sports activity, make sure you have the correct equipment ready to go. A calendar is your best weapon on making any form of change as it will help you integrate the change around your existing lifestyle and responsibilities.

    2) Be realistic
    This is key to why most resolutions fail. It can be that people want the end goal without working towards it. With some things you may see immediate results and feel the benefit however most life changing goals are slow burners. For example, if you want to quit smoking are you equipped to go cold turkey on the first of January after smoking 20 a day for the last three years? With any form of addiction either replacement or substitution is proven to be more effective in the long term.

    3) Motivation
    So you’ve made the resolutions, you’ve tweeted it, set it up on Facebook so the world can see how serious you are about it. Why are you doing it? If it wasn’t New Year’s Eve and everybody else wasn’t making outrageous claims would you still care about your goal. Realistically making any change in life is hard. With anything in life we have peaks and troughs in activity and it is motivation that pulls us through the low periods.

    If you are joining a gym there is also a financial implication that will be in place long after January has faded. If you are making a lifestyle change, you need to be able to follow through on.

    4) Fad to Habit
    Different experts hold different opinions on how long it takes for a habit to form. The general census seems to land it between 21-28 days before the new activity has become part of your routine. If you make it past the first month you are doing excellently but habits can still be broken and it is not safe to assume that you have made a change for life

    5) Be kind to yourself
    Strict and firm boundaries are important to adapting to any lifestyle changes. You’ll tell yourself it doesn’t matter if you miss today’s gym session or had a smoke while you were drunk. It does – you’ve broken the promise you made to yourself.

    However, it’s not worth chucking away all the progress you’ve made so far. You’re human and you made a mistake, it’s worth remembering that Rome wasn’t built in a day and Ben Cohen didn’t get unreasonably hot over night!

  • OPINION | Emotional baggage is just a valuable quirk you’ve not discovered yet

    Damaged Goods or just quirky? In this article, I’d like to look at the concept of “damaged goods” and what we think that means.

    We’ve all heard of the term and most of us in one form or another believe we have baggage of some kind that we carry from one person to another. In recent years, I have seen examples of people that have carried around that the belief that in one form or another they are ‘damaged goods’. Their damage comes in all shapes and sizes, some of it small and ‘quirky’ and some of it far larger and core to who they believe they are.

    But we can’t really talk about ‘goods’ without talking about baggage. Now we all have baggage in one for another. Experiences, both good and bad, have formed the person we are today and how we respond to different situations. To every relationship (romantic, business, family or friend) you will always bring with you those good and bad bags.

    Good bags could be things like a sense of right and wrong, being a hard worker, kindness, care and attention or even an ability to listen. But what are some of the ‘not so good’ bags? Is there such a thing?

    Examples of the ‘less that constructive’ emotional bags that people carry could be things like an inability to easily trust, a need for reassurance, over-reaction, inflexibility, selfishness or even a short fuse. All are examples of behaviours that when expressed lead to confusion, miscommunication and negative emotions.

    A study conducted in 2014 and published in the Independent newspaper seemed to imply that gay relationships are more likely to be happy and content. But how can this be so? We all carry baggage in one form or another. We have all been bullied or oppressed in one form or another and the negative behaviours those experiences leave are powerful. I’ve seen relationships end due to ghosts of past horrors and indeed scars that have not healed in quite the way they should have.

    On the flip side, because most of us have seen trouble in our lives does that mean we actively seek and protect what is more precious to us? That we learn from these experiences and seek out things that make us happy, together as a couple and not just as a sole survivor of life?

    But if that’s true then why early this year in August 2016 was it shown that depression and low self-esteem was on the rise amongst gay men? If gay men don’t see themselves as worthy that belief will trickle into their relationships and their workings of that relationship. What becomes a little issue to one becomes a massive issue to another, purely because of the value we place on that issue. But everyone’s values are different so how can you possibly hope to know what it means 100% of the time? To a boy selling his cow at the Market a bean is a symbol of hope, but to the seller of the bean it is just a bean.

    Having been there with depression I’d freely admit that I carry my own baggage (both constructive and non-constructive) and can see the situations that they can get you in. It’s taken me a good couple of years to accept and examine those goods and even now I admit that there could be more in my cargo hold that I’ve not seen yet.

    The only piece of advice I can give anyone is to remember that we only see with our own eyes and we cannot see everything. As human beings, we cannot know everything and we cannot know what someone is thinking. The truth of the world is always changing depending on where you are standing, therefore keep moving. Look for another angle and you’ll get as close to a truth as you can, and you’d be surprised how often those ‘damaged goods’ are actually quirks that could be quite valuable.

     

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