Tag: Grindr

All the latest breaking news on Grindr. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on Grindr and the LGBT+ community.

  • Dating apps make men unhappy and provide a platform for racism

    Do dating apps give men body image concerns and lower self-esteem?

    File 20170918 8268 19lvl0g
    shutterstock

    Glen Jankowski, Leeds Beckett University

    As the dating app Tinder turns five, new research shows men who regularly use the app have more body image concerns and lower self-esteem.

    The research found Tinder users reported lower levels of satisfaction with their faces and higher levels of shame about their bodies. And users were also more likely to view their bodies as sexual objects.

    This is hardly surprising given that Tinder’s “evaluative factors” have the potential to intensify preexisting cultural beauty ideals. The app’s “swipe right to dismiss” facility, along with the limited number of words a user can write on their profile means appearance take centre stage. In other words, the more conventionally attractive your photos are, the more likely you are to be clicked, swiped or hit upon by other users.

    But whether men use Tinder or not, most will report dissatisfaction with some aspect of their appearance. This could be anything from height, body hair, muscularity, skin tautness, shoe size, penis size, facial symmetry, head hair amount and more. Sadly there are few areas of the body men do not find fault with.

    The body beautiful?

    Over the last few decades, boys’ and men’s appearances have come under increasing scrutiny. This is largely because in the 1980s businesses finally started exploiting a relatively untapped market: the appearance insecurities of men.

    To demonstrate – today men are sold anti-cellulite cream for their pecs, hair transplants for their facial hair and “manscara” for their eyes. Then there are the boys’ action dolls that have gained muscle and lost body fat with each successive edition. Add this to the fact that 80% of the men featured in popular media such as Men’s Health magazine are of a muscular body build – with many of these models taking drastic measures in the weeks leading up to photos shoots to make sure they look lean.

    These models also tend to have a full head of hair and symmetrical faces. The same goes for porn sites – where almost all of the men featured are equally ripped and stereotypically “handsome”.

    Love your selfie.
    Shutterstock

    It’s unsurprising then that boys today feel they are growing up in a world which focuses heavily upon their appearance. Of course, this is a problem that has plagued women and girls for decades. And in the way that this has impacted girls for so long, now this pressure is impacting on boys’ well-being. One recent study found almost one in five boys had resorted to diet pills, purging, skipping meals, steroids or tanning products to change their appearance.

    White washing

    But beyond appearance pressures, dating apps are doubly damaging because they often operate in a sphere where sexual racism is commonplace.

    The dating app OKCupid recently analysed sexual racism among 1m of its male site users. The company found that compared to black, Asian or minority ethnic users, white users got more messages. White users were also found to be less likely to reply or match with users of a different race to themselves, and more likely to question interracial marriage.

    Online dating comes with its own rules, preferences and prejudices.
    Shutterstock

    Recent research from Australia also found that 15% of gay men on the dating app Grindr included sexual racism on their profiles. This was more likely to be the case if the profile user was white, and if the user held broader racist views.

    I too have noticed gay men who write offensive terms that specify race preferences on their profiles – such as “Black=block”, “no gaysians” or even “no chocolate or rice”. In its terms and conditions, Grindr bans offensive speech. Which is in part why, three years ago, I started a Twitter account, @GrindrRacism to encourage Grindr to remove offensive profiles. Disappointingly Grindr has often been slow to act though – meaning sexual racism is still present on the app.

    Dating elite

    Of course apps aren’t the cause of racism around sexual preferences. Instead like appearance pressures, users are influenced by what’s going on in wider society. By not tackling those problems in society, however, – for example cracking down on offensive speech – apps can act as enablers for racism and insecurity.

    So while in some ways, these apps have brought our dating lives into the 21st century – where casual sex is more accepted and where gay men can meet other gay men without being imprisoned – in other ways, they also remind me of the 1950s, a time when shops would hang “No Blacks” signs in their doorways and when magazines like Playboy relentlessly objectified women’s appearances.

    The ConversationUltimately given that more people are using dating apps than ever before, they need to work for everyone – not just those who are “attractive” or white.

    Glen Jankowski, Senior Lecturer in the School of Social Sciences, Leeds Beckett University

     

    This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • THE UNDATEABLE GAY | It’s not me it’s them

    To quote a best friend:
    “You must be the unluckiest person I know when it comes to love and men.”

    I wouldn’t disagree with her, nor would the rest of my friends, families or readers of this column. But her pearls of wisdom got me thinking. And before anyone says anything, yes, I am capable of getting the old grey matter to work. I’m very intellectual. I’ve got a degree, you know. A line I often pull out the bag if anyone questions my intellect.

    But here I go, distracted and side tracked again. Back to what her pearls of wisdom got me thinking about. WHERE AM I GOING WRONG WITH MEN?! To be this undateable, I must be doing something not quite dateable. So I thought, let me retrace my steps. To my last two potential Mr Rights who added themselves to my long list of Mr Wrongs.

    Well, first up, there’s a man from Chiswick. I met him on Grindr. And f*ck me sideways, he actually wanted a date and not a quick bunk up on the high road. After the initial shock of being asked on a date (from Grindr), I accepted and we agreed to meet in a beautiful little pub on the river.

    As soon as I saw him, I noticed he had slightly BFG ears but this didn’t deter me. I thought, how handy they would be to hold onto when he drops to his knees. PMA. Every cloud has a silver lining. The conversation was quite pleasant and the wine flowed like the rivers of Babylon. Until we got onto the topic of Boy Scouts. I disclosed that my cub leader had been arrested for fiddling with some of my fellow Cubs.

    As I continued on in this fashion of unsuitable date conversation, I felt Joan Rivers and Pam Ann (and Sauvignon Blanc) taking over my body and my mouth,

    “I had to be questioned by the police. Luckily he didn’t touch me. I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

    I sat there, laughing and he looked at me,

    “That’s not funny!”

    “Oh”, my jaw dropped quicker than a gay boy in a football changing room. And before I knew it, he’d booked an Uber and left. Obviously didn’t appreciate my sense of humour. Oh well, at least he admitted it and for once, I had a reason for why a date had ditched me. Our sense of senses of humour were definitely not compatible.

    But as you know, you don’t keep me down for long. Not unless it involves a rugby squad and blow jobs. But that’s a story for another column. Anyway, stop the side tracking. I’m scattier than a March hare. Is that even scatty? I don’t know. I just remember my dear old Nan saying it from time to time. Oh no, it’s just hit me. It’s as mad as a March hare. Well, you get the drift!

    Back to my story of the second Mr Wrong, who once again, came from Grindr. I know you can see a pattern forming here. Well, we hit it off. We had a spark better than the new year fireworks on the Thames. Or so I thought. We were up until 4 in the morning on our first couple of times talking. And then suddenly, nothing. He did a quicker u-turn than Theresa May. But I thought, hang on a damn second. I ain’t having this so I thought, for once, I’m going to get to the bottom of this behaviour.

    So here is a transcript of a WhatsApp conversation:

    MARK: I’m really interested to know what changed for you. Because we were talking till late at night, so full on and then nothing!
    MR WRONG: I dunno. I just don’t chase people and doubt we’re compatible in the vanity sense, I don’t care about Botox and fake tan.
    MARK: But you knew about the fake tan and the Botox before you spoke to me.
    MR WRONG: Well it didn’t bother me but then it did. I can’t help it, I’m just insecure with guys.
    MARK: Well, if you’d have just given us a try, you might have had a great time. But now you’ll just carry on with your insecurity. I was there, I was willing…

    I do like having the last word. And I’ve never heard from either of these Grindr men ever again. Lesson one that I’ve learned, don’t expect anymore than a shag and an STD from Grindr. And lesson two, it’s not me, it’s them. I feel so liberated.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Grindr is now owned by a Chinese gaming company

    Grindr has now been bought by a Chinese gaming company, meaning it is not under the LGBT ownership anymore.

    In 2016 Grindr’s founder Joel Simkhai announced that he had sold 60 percent of the dating app to the Chinese gaming firm Kunlun Tech Co. The remaining 40 percent has now been snapped up by the same firm in a deal thought to be worth $152 million.

    The initial purchase of just over 60 percent was thought to be worth $93 million.

    The app has over 3 million daily users.

     

     

  • 28 crimes against gay men in Manchester were related to Grindr

    28 crimes against gay men in Manchester were related to Grindr

    A shocking freedom of information request has revealed that 28 crimes against gay and bisexual men in Manchester were related to the dating app, Grindr.

    Grindr has been heavily criticised after a freedom of information request revealed that 28 crimes reported by gay and bisexual men in Manchester were related to the gay dating app. These crimes took place between 2013 and 2016.

    Fourteen of those crimes resulted in rape or sexual offences against the victim. Theft, non-sexual violence and drug trafficking were also reported.

    The news comes after a series of high-profile murders in 2016 including,

    The serial killer Stephen Port, who used Grindr and other gay dating apps to lure his victims, all young men under the age of 25, to his home before drugging and killing them.

    Stefano Brizzi also used Grindr to find his victim Gordon Semple.

    In November a teenager, Ben Bamford in Sussex, was found guilty of murdering a man he found on the dating app.

    John Leech, who will now lead a campaign to get dating apps to display safety notices. Speaking about Grindr and Tinder he said, 

    “It is completely unacceptable that neither of the two leading dating apps display safety alerts or notices at any point from download to real life use, not even anything as simple as meeting somewhere public and letting a friend know where you’re going.

    “Something as serious as rape has an enormous and life-shattering impact on so many lives, from the victim to their friends, family and co-workers.

    “Tinder and Grindr should not be let off the hook over such a serious and shocking lapse in care to their users.

    “They must introduce safety alerts immediately and dramatically increase the safety of users, and they must do it now.” 

    Grindr does have a full set of tips on how to keep safe whilst using the app.

  • Lib Dems go to war on dating apps like Grindr

    John Leech, the former MP for Manchester Withington, has declared war on Tinder and Grindr, accusing the companies of a “serious and shocking lapse in care.”

    CREDIT: ©-Vadymvdrobot-Depositphotos

    The prominent Liberal Democrat has launched a campaign publicly calling on the dating apps Tinder and Grindr to display safety notices and dramatically increase the safety of users after a spike in related sexual assaults. Mr Leech wrote to the two leading applications after discovering that neither provided any notice of safety before allowing users to speak with complete strangers.

    His demands come after he uncovered that 58 incidents across Greater Manchester, including rape and serious violence, were linked to the two apps.

    John Leech, who will now lead a campaign to get dating apps to display safety notices, stressed his concerns saying:

    “It is completely unacceptable that neither of the two leading dating apps display safety alerts or notices at any point from download to real life use, not even anything as simple as meeting somewhere public and letting a friend know where you’re going.

    “Something as serious as rape has an enormous and life-shattering impact on so many lives, from the victim to their friends, family and co-workers. One is too many, but 17 in Greater Manchester is just unacceptable and these dating apps need to start taking preventative steps immediately.

    “Tinder and Grindr should not be let off the hook over such a serious and shocking lapse in care to their users.

    “They must introduce safety alerts immediately and dramatically increase the safety of users, and they must do it now.” 

    John Leech’s heavy words come as a Freedom of Information enquiry made by the former MP revealed that more than 58 crimes across Greater Manchester have been linked to the use of dating apps Tinder and Grindr, including rape and serious violence. 

    Of the 28 incidents related to Grindr, four resulted in rape, with a further ten other sexual offences. Theft, non-sexual violence and drug trafficking were also reported.

    A much higher number of 13 out of the 30 reported Tinder incidents resulted in rape, with other violent offences making up a further 15.

    John Leech, who now stands as the sole opposition on Manchester Council, added,

     “I am extremely concerned to see that Manchester has one of the highest numbers of incidents, and in what I would desperately like to be seen as a safe and welcoming city, these numbers are distressingly high and must be tackled immediately.

    “I fear that these worrying incidents are just the beginning of a much wider issue surrounding a serious lack of sexual and relationship education that must also be confronted.

    “In an evolving and increasingly digital age where many people have found their perfect match through these dating apps, the real dangers of online dating must also be highlighted to ensure that these horrific and life-shattering crimes are avoided.”

    Across the country, officers reported at least 162 sexual offences, including 63 rapes, linked to the two apps, which are used by more than 60 million people.

    Tinder launched as a smartphone app in 2012 and Grindr, used largely by gay and bisexual men, in 2009.

    Jane Brophy, the Liberal Democrat candidate for Mayor of Greater Manchester, said,

     “These numbers are a serious cause for concern, and as more and more people use these apps we must get better at tackling the safety of users.”

    Committing to tackling the concerning rise, Jane Brophy added,

     “Seeing an increase in sexual, health and relationship education, and a decrease in these assaults will be part of my plan to step forward for Greater Manchester.”

  • Cop killer Stefano Brizzi handed down a 24-year prison sentence for the murder of a police officer he found on Grindr

    Cop killer Stefano Brizzi handed down a 24-year prison sentence for the murder of a police officer he found on Grindr

    Convicted killer Stefano Brizzi has been sentenced to 24 years jail time for the murder of a gay serving police officer.

    Stefano Brizzi has been handed a 24-year jail term for the murder of a serving police officer, Gordon Semple. The jail term means he will be at least 74 before he can apply for parole. He was also served with a seven years’ imprisonment for obstructing a coroner from holding an inquest, for which this sentence will run concurrently.

    Brizzi was found guilty of murder at the same court on Monday, 14 November, but pleaded guilty to obstructing a coroner on Thursday, 20 October – the first day of his trial.

    Brizzi, 50, went to great lengths to dispose of 59-year-old Gordon Semple, by dismembering him and getting rid of him in a manner which “amounts to cannibalism”. Police investigating Semple’s death also revealed that they found “a number of bottles of chemicals scattered over the hallway floor and in the bathroom,” when they arrived at Brizzi’s address.

    Gordon Semple
    CREDIT: Metropolitan Police

    On Friday, 1 April, Gordon Semple, who dedicated 30 years of his working life to the police, was on duty and had been at a meeting in London Bridge. Phone evidence has shown that at just after 14:00hrs that day he used the dating app Grindr to arrange to meet Brizzi for sex at his south London flat. That afternoon, Brizzi strangled Gordon Semple to death and over the following week set about systematically disposing of his body in a bid to either avoid being caught or ensuring that Gordon could never be identified.

    Police arrived at Brizzi’s address six days later on Thursday, 7 April, after neighbours called them and the London Ambulance Service after becoming increasingly concerned about a vile stench emanating from the flat.

    On arrival at the door, the officers were greeted by Brizzi wearing his underpants. The officers noted a number of bottles of chemicals scattered over the hallway floor, and in the bathroom discovered bin bags containing body parts.

    Brizzi was arrested on suspicion of murder and taken to Lewisham police station.

    Commander Nick Downing, from the Metropolitan Police Service, said,

    “Today, my heart goes out to Gordon’s partner, family, loved ones, friends and colleagues. They have my deepest sympathy; his loss continues to be acutely felt.

    “Brizzi has shown no remorse for his actions, since the time of his arrest and throughout his trial. With today’s sentence a dangerous man, whose cold calculated actions were deeply disturbing, is behind bars.”

    Statement on behalf of the family of Gordon Semple,

    “Gordon continues to be sadly missed by our family. Gordon we miss you so much, may you rest in peace.

    “Gordon was a loyal and much loved long term partner, brother, brother-in-law, uncle, cousin and friend to all.

    “We were devastated when the news broke of Gordon’s murder and the circumstances which are still incredibly hard to deal with. It is still insurmountably upsetting. Nothing takes away the pain of our loss.

    “At Gordon’s funeral we met many of his friends and work colleagues – we were proud to hear how fondly they thought of Gordon.”

    Passing sentence the Recorder of London Nicholas Hilliard QC, said,

    “The PCs on scene encountered something no amount of training could have prepared them for. I commend them both.

    “Mr Semple was dearly loved by his family and friends and no sentence carried by this court can equate to the precious human life lost.”

    Addressing Brizzi directly he said: “No sentence I can pass can undo what you’ve done.

    “I have no doubt that there came a time when you went beyond what was agreed and you decided to cause him really serious harm.”

    He added: “Your attempts to conceal what happened and dismembering and destroying his body are terrible features of the case.”

  • Five ways not to be racist on gay dating apps

    No Blacks. No Asians. No Queens.

    I bet you already know where these quotes come from. I am also pretty sure you’ve seen them. Yes, these are common quotes from Grindr profiles. What’s worse is that I imagine you can think of more Grindr, Gaydar, GayRomeo profiles with further offensive and racist remarks on them.

    But surely we can discriminate on who we fancy? Of course.

    We must have the right to decide what shape, size and colour the dick is we choose to squeeze, suck or sit on? Without a doubt.

    And if I want to say what I don’t like then it saves time doesn’t it? Perhaps.

    So if I don’t fancy a black or white guy then I have the right to say so, don’t I? Maybe.

    But there are ways of saying things.

    So… Here are 5 things not to do on gay dating apps.

    1) Do not use racist language. We all know what they are. No one thinks you’re big or smart or edgy for using them. And being practical, not many guys invite racists round to their houses.

    2) Put what you like, what you ARE into. It’s more positive and inclusive and appealing to a wider range of people. Saying you like something, or love something is much more attractive than associating you with ‘No this’, ‘No that’ or other negative concepts.

    3) Be polite. If someone messages you that doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach (or lower) then just say thanks but no thanks. Most people will get the hint, and if they don’t just block them. It’s easier than resorting to a racist rant.

    4) Be inclusive. Try not to see people as one dimensional. Not all ethnicities are the same. Look at your arm – it everyone with that similar shade the same as you? Do they eat the same food, socialise in the same way, believe the same as you do just because your skin matches? Of course not, so don’t apply this ignorance to other arm shades.

    5) Challenge yourself. How many of your friends are the same as you? Do they all look the same, come from similar backgrounds? Most are probably the same age. How about bringing some diversity to your life? Speak to someone new, someone with maybe a different experience, a different outlook, a different skin colour – they might be able to shed new light on life. How does your coming out experience compare to the Asian guy 200 meters away or the polish guy four roads away or the twink smiling at you at the bottom of your screen?

     

     

    A version of this article first appeared on THEGAYUK.com in July 2013

     

  • Teenager found guilty of the murder of a gay man he found on Grindr

    Teenager found guilty of the murder of a gay man he found on Grindr

    A teenager has been found guilty of the vicious murder of a man he met on the gay dating app, Grindr.

    Ben Bamford, 18, has been found guilty of the murder of a 52-year-old man he met via the gay dating app, Grindr. Mr Bamford who was 17-years-old at the time of the murder unleashed a vicious attack on Paul Jefferies, reportedly a tax advisor to George Osbourne, who lived in East Sussex.

    The attack happened on the 23 February 2016.

    A sustained and bloody attack left Mr Jefferies with over 40 stab wounds. The court heard that Bamford also slashed the tax advisor’s throat, leaving him to die in a pool of his own blood. His body was discovered two days later when concerned work colleagues noted that he had not been into work.

    Mr Bamford left the body with a tea towel covering his head.

    CREDIT: Sussex Police
    CREDIT: Sussex Police

    Mr Bamford denied murder and claimed that he was acting out in self-defense after alleging that his victim had tried to rape him. The court heard Bamford describing that Mr Jefferies had “got on top” of him and continued to have sex after Bamford had told him to stop.

    Mr Bamford had sought out Mr Jefferies after accruing £400 in debt. A statement from Sussex Police remarked that they believed that he “went to see Mr Jefferies with the intention of exploiting him for money to pay off his drugs debt.”

    Detective Chief Inspector Tanya Jones, who led the investigation for Surrey and Sussex Major Crime Team, said,

    “This was a horrific attack by a teenage boy who preyed on his victim with the aim of exploiting him for money.

    “The level of violence he inflicted on Paul Jefferies was extreme and then he fled the scene in his victim’s car. He showed no remorse smirking for a selfie photo just hours later.

    “However the jury did not believe his story. Although this can never undo what he has done, I hope it will bring some justice for Paul’s family, friends and colleagues.”

    Mr Bamford will be sentenced on Wednesday.

  • ANSWERS | Why does Grindr use a mask for its logo?

    ANSWERS | Why does Grindr use a mask for its logo?

    Gay hook-up app Grindr is famous for its application as its distinctive look. So, how did the name and look come about?

    why does Grindr use a gimp mask
    We asked the app’s creator Joel Simkhai about the look and name. He told us in 2012 that the look came about because he wanted it to be “powerful” and a “little rough”.

    When asked about the colouring and the use of the ‘gimp’ mask, Joel said,

    “We looked for something that was masculine and tough and I think all our branding: our logo, our colouring almost everything about it falls into those categories.”

     

    Aggressive

    When deciding on the whole look and branding for Grindr the creator decided that the look and feel of the app should be “a but aggressive” and “powerful”.

    The name came about because Joel liked the idea of grinding coffee and the notion of mixing.

    Speaking to THEGAYUK in 2012, Joel said,

    “We were looking for something a bit aggressive and thought of this notion of the coffee grinder and the notion of mixing, but it’s not just the idea of mixing it’s about grinding, very powerful and so it’s a little rough, we wanted an edginess to it, we didn’t want a softness to it.”

     

     

  • You won’t guess what this guy saw whilst having sex with a DILF

    You won’t guess what this guy saw whilst having sex with a DILF

    You know you get a bit horny and so you go for a looky-loo on Grindr – well this YouTuber had an unexpected surprise during his hook up.

     

    YouTuber Charles Gross, 21, in New York was in for a surprise when he hooked up with a “Daddy”.

    After entering his beau’s bedroom, which was solely lit by an electronic photo frame they began to have sex – which Charles explains wasn’t particularly great – so he began to look at the pictures on the frame as they scrolled through. As the man beneath him continued to grown and growl in a very porny way… something popped up which Charles wasn’t expecting to see!

    So what was it?

    The DILF and his wife and kids turned up on the screen.

     


    ALSO READ: 12 questions gay men love hearing

    ALSO READ: Straight men… if you’re sleeping with gay men you need to know these things.


     

    Now before his mind ran to conclusions -Charles works out that perhaps his DILF had been married, had kids and then separated…

    However he was to get a major surprise… when…

    The man’s wife and the man’s children WALK IN ON THEM whilst they were having sex!

    “He clenched… he clenched so tight”, Charles explains.

    YIKES.

    Have a listen to what happened next!

  • Editors of The Daily Beast removes article after athlete “outing”

    Editors of The Daily Beast removes article after athlete “outing”

    The Daily Beast has removed and apologised for an article which potentially “outed” several athletes in this year’s Rio 2016 Olympic games.

    grindr

    IMAGE: Grindr / FILE PHOTO

    The news site, The Daily Beast, has been heavily criticised after an article appeared online in which a journalist, Nico Hines, was trying to go on some dates using the gay dating app, Grindr – however the article revealed potentially identifiable characteristics of some of the sportsmen – some of whom are not out.

    German Lopez, who was covering the story for Vox.com said,

    “On its face, the story may seem like yet another fluffy piece about sex in the Olympic village, and not much else. But it did do one potentially awful thing: It may have outed multiple gay athletes, including one from “a notoriously homophobic country,” potentially putting people in real danger.”

    In a letter the Editorial team said that they were “wrong” and “sorry” for the article and took the decision to remove it from their site in an “unprecedented but necessary step”.

     


    ALSO READ: Out Olympian Tom Bosworth skipped PE lessons because he was target for bullies once they found out he was gay.

    ALSO READ: Tom Bosworth to buy engagement ring at Heathrow airport to make his boyfriend an “honest man!”


     

    The editors also apologised to the athletes who “may have been inadvertently compromised” by the story.

    In the statement the Editors said,

    “As a newsroom, we succeed together and we fail together, and this was a failure on The Daily Beast as a whole, not a single individual. The article was not intended to do harm or degrade members of the LGBT community, but intent doesn’t matter, impact does. Our hope is that removing an article that is in conflict with both our values and what we aspire to as journalists will demonstrate how seriously we take our error.”