Tag: Ageism

All the latest breaking news on agesim and the LGBT+ community. Browse THEGAYUK’s complete collection of news, articles and commentary on ageism.

  • Gay guys open up about some of the social issues that our community is facing

    Gay guys open up about some of the social issues that our community is facing

    As a community, we’ve faced some immense challenges. Some, across our world, are still facing untold tragedies and discrimination. Sometimes, however, the worst issues can come from within.

    So when Reddit user dprince1988 asked “What gay social problems do you see which aren’t talked about enough”, the AskGayMen community did some soul searching and came up with a list.

    Here are some of the issues it raised.

    Suicide Rate

    The LGBT+ community has one the highest suicide rates of any minority demographic.

    The Trevor Project details how suicide is one of the biggest killers of young people, and that Lesbian, Gay and Bi youth are three times more likely to contemplate suicide over their heterosexual counterparts.

    One commentator added, “I should submit a picture of my arm. So many cuts that I can’t even differentiate between normal and scar tissue. When meeting new people I have to wear long sleeves or else they freak out”.

    Sober spaces

    The lack of sober social spaces was also raised. However, there are services such as meetup.com which are helping to facilitate social situations that don’t centre around drinking.

    Loneliness and isolation

    At the moment, thanks to COVID-19 many people are facing isolation, but for many in the LGBT+ community, loneliness is a real issue outside of lockdown.

    Rural Isolation

    Outside of large cities and towns can be a real issue for LGBT+ people. Sometimes hook up apps and chat rooms are a vital lifeline for LGBT+ people who don’t have a local scene.

    Domestic Violence

    In a recent article for THEGAYUK.com legal expert, PAULA RHONE-ADRIEN shared, “…sadly, in such a small minority of just 1.1 million, at least 1 in 4 victims of domestic abuse are lesbian and nearly 1 in 2 victims are gay. The figure rises to nearly 80% if you identify as transexual”.

    Bottom shaming

    On bottom shaming one user-added, “Bottom shaming is internalized homophobia and societal view of women (the feminine) being less-than.”

    Lack of LGBT sex education

    As schools don’t tend to offer gay sex education there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding STIs, the purpose of PrEP and consent.

    Ageism

    One user added, “Gay men are notorious for being disgusted and belittling older guys… even older guys do it to each-other… there’s an old cliche called the “gay death” which means once you turn 30 you’re ugly, old, and undesirable.”

    Ableism

    One user added, “Pretty tragic given how much more likely queer populations are to suffer psychological or physical ailments.”

    Drugs and Chemsex

    PNP and HnH orgies are becoming more and more commonplace and normalised on dating apps.

    Racism

    User HereForHope wrote, “This 100%. Racial dynamics are never talked about introspectively. Be that homophobia in communities of color to the fact that it’s apparently totally fine to have racist shit like “no blacks no rice” in your dating profile”

    Erasing the T

    User Atlask wrote, “I don’t know if it fits what you are looking for but that whole lgb movement who focuses mostly on erasing the trans…”

    Aesthetics

    Not conforming to a few very specific aesthetics” Another used also noted that eating disorders were rife in the community, saying, “

    I know so many gay men with eating disorders. They either are or have been out-and-our anorexic/bulimic, exercise bulimic, or take hard drugs to stop themselves from eating.

    “Others are on steroids to build up muscle.

    “And they’re all still unhappy, even the ones that have great bodies”.

    Friendships without sex

    Gay friends without sexual interest

    Bi-erasure

    Bi Erasure is a form of erasure directed towards the bisexual community It can take many forms including when society sidelines bisexual stories for gay or lesbian stories.

    Bi Erasure is also the ignoring or rewriting of LGBT+ history where bisexual people of note are effectively erased from the LGBT+ movement.

    Hookup culture

    Which could lead to invalidating other communities such as asexuals.

    Political Persuasions

    What happens when you’re not a democrat? One user suggested, “Gays assumed to be liberals/democrats. I know a lot of conservative/ republican gays and they always get the “but you’re gay!” attitude and called Uncle Toms. Really I think this is the biggest prejudice against gays now in the US. Gays are capable of free thought, not mindless hive mentality”

    Use the comments below to let us know your thoughts.

  • Is it common for younger gay guys to hook up with older guys?

    Is it common for younger gay guys to hook up with older guys?

    What’s the oldest age gap you’ve had between you and another sexual partner. A couple of years? 10 years? 20 years?

    Some of the most enduring celebrity same-sex relationships have many years between them, like Tom Daley and Dustin Lance-Black (20 years) or Sir Elton and David Furnish (15 years)

    However, one 20-year-old guy on Reddit, got to wondering why it was bothering him that so many guys around his age had slept with guys 10 years older than them.

    He wrote, “Something that’s struck me as odd is that a lot of them have been with guys that are like 10 years older than us. Even a few 18-year-olds seem to have had intercourse with thirty-something-year-olds and are more sexually experienced than me

    “I’m not sure why this upsets me, but I’m curious to know if you guys think that hooking up with older guys like this is really common. Also what does this say about the young guy? What does this say about the older guy?”

    [totalpoll id=”117406″]

    Do age gaps really matter in relationships?
    CREDIT: Yastremska-bigstock

    Here’s what some of the commenters had to say.

    You okay hun?

    I’m more curious about why it matters to you [via]

    Really very common

    This is extremely common. Lots of younger guys are into Daddies. I’m 39 and if I’m on Grindr or whatnot I get hit up by lots of guys in their late teens and early twenties (more so than guys in their late twenties and their 30s hit me). [via]

    They’re charming

    Daddy is really charming to me [via]

    What you’re into

    It’s what you’re into I guess… I mean I’m the same age as you and I almost exclusively go for guys older than me because I absolutely love daddies and the age difference turns me on but also there aren’t many guys my age who are out in my area so I’m kinda forced to go for older guys. [via]

    Going with the flow

    As someone who has been with multiple older guys, it’s just preference. Some days, I want a guy in his 20’s like me. Some days I want a guy in his mid 30’s. Sometimes I want a silver fox in his late 50’s or 60’s. [via]

    So do age gaps really matter as long as everyone’s consenting and of legal age? Use the comments below to let us know what you think

  • Grindr is banning racism but users point out there’s still a lot of other discrimination

    Grindr is banning racism but users point out there’s still a lot of other discrimination

    What about Ageism, HIV stigma and effeminism, users ask…

    CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK

    Banning racism is on the agenda at Grindr and many of the gay hook up apps, but users are keen to point out that Grindr is failing on other discriminatory language including ageism, HIV stigma and anti-effeminate sentiments.

    Recently Grindr announced a new policy, dubbed Kindr, which looks to rid the platform of all types of discrimination, however, users point out that aside from racism there is a whole heap of discrimination that goes seemingly unchecked via people’s profiles.

    Grindr says it will now moderate language on users’ profiles, saying they’d rather “hear about what you’re into, not what you aren’t”. Some, however, are concerned that the announcement seemingly only touches on racism. However, the editor of Into, Grindr’s online magazine, has said that the new policy will take into consideration any discriminatory language.

    Zach Stafford said, “So, I am seeing some confusion around and wanted to clear one big thing up: Discriminatory language like ‘no fats, no femmes, no Asians’ is officially considered discriminatory and will now be banned on Grindr”.

    Have you suffered discrimination on a dating app?