THEGAYUK

Tag: Grindr

All the latest breaking news on Grindr. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on Grindr and the LGBT+ community.

  • Watch out for this clever Grindr Scam

    Watch out for this clever Grindr Scam

    Have you received a message from a really cute guy, only to be asked to sign up for a verification service?

    Be warned – it could well be a scam.

    Some guys on Grindr are being asked to visit a website called IPHSID.com in order to verify their identity. The site claims to be the only “website that links public state, territorial, and tribal sex offender registries from one national search site” however, there’s no evidence to back this up – what’s more if you want to join the register you have to pay – $1 for a month or $39 for a lifetime membership.

    How does it happen

    Well, out of nowhere a guy – with a super hot picture slides into your DMs – and says something like “Hey dude, how are you? Into kissing, cuddling, rimming, 69 – 8 inches open for anything, what are you looking for?” which is followed up by a topless picture and a dick pic.

    After you reply – a seemingly standard reply is sent, “nice, that’s great, I’m down to hook ups. I can do travel or host. BTW do you have IPHSID – I will meet you if you already had it”

    And then he sends another hot pic.

    Then an explanation about IPHSID “Let me explain it to you. It is an IPHS identifying and preventing harassment system to protect, lesbian gay bi-discreet trans in meetup. This is the safe way to check you’re an LGBT sex offender. There’s nothing wrong if we talk about our safeiness [sic] right?

    And then a picture of the same dude with a badly busied and cut face, to show that he’s been a victim of an attack.

    “I’m not saying you’re one of a [sic] bad guy I just want you (to) get a IPHSID so we can know that we are both safe to meet up – can I sent [sic] you a link if it’s okay?”

    The guy then sends a picture of his “profile” and tells you that the $1 will be donated automatically to an “LGBT harassment victim”

    1% Trust rating

    CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK

    According to ScamDoc, the site has a 1% trust score – which is very very bad.

    But just taking a look around the site you’ll notice that there’s no evidence or links to any of the partnerships they say they work with.

    It even uses a Gmail account for contact – not a branded one. Sounds kinda phishy right?

    If you need any other reasons not to 100% trust this, its links to social media have nothing to do with the site – the Twitter one goes to an account that hasn’t been used since 2017, the Facebook link goes to Facebook’s own LGBT+ page, the Insta goes to news-brand LGBTQNation and the YouTube links to a SoulPancake video.

    Dodgy? We’d say so.

    THEGAYUK.com reached out to IPHSID for comment and guess what – the email bounced right back.

    Our Advice

    If someone asks you for money or links away from Grindr to another site which asks for personal details – don’t. Instead, use our safety guidelines on how to have safer dating hookups.

  • How not to be a douche on Grindr

    How not to be a douche on Grindr

    Do… Use your best pic

    TheHilaryClark / Pixabay

    Dig deep into your Facebook tagged photos and find a nice when in the sun with a cocktail and a decent backdrop. If you’re stuck for choice, perhaps do what every other Grindr user does and take a selfie in the mirror of your local gym changing room. That way, at least everyone knows you keep fit.

    Don’t…immediately send a dick pic

    Striking up a conversation via a picture of your penis is like Victoria Beckham singing – sin against nature. Sending a blurry photo of your willy is not going to make anyone think “Let’s go Prezzo”. If you, for whatever reason, have an urgent need to send one, do it after at least a day of conversation and, as with your profile picture, make sure it is the best it could be. I’m talking about the right angle and the right filter – no one wants a photo with dodgy lighting.

    Do…be grammatically correct.

    “Hello, how are you?” sounds far better than “hey, u alrite?” so make sure to use your best grammar when trying to secure a date or even a bit of fun. No one is going to be enticed to have sex with you when you chat like a 14-year-old on MSN.

    Don’t…slate gays in your bio.

    “I like my men to be men”; “straight acting guys only; “if I can’t see your eyebrows then I don’t want to see you”. When devising your bio, try not to come across as a wanker. Some gay men decide to be their own enemy and it doesn’t exactly scream, “date me”.

    Do…talk about safer sex.

    Let’s be honest – most gay dating apps amount to anonymous sex with someone you’ve never met before and don’t really know much about except for the size of their penis so, let’s be clear, condoms, PrEP and regular testing if you’re sexually active are absolutely essential…

    This article was first published in August 2015 and has been updated.

  • How to use Grindr Discreetly

    How to use Grindr Discreetly

    Using a dating app like Grindr, discreetly can be important for maintaining your privacy and personal boundaries.

    Here are some tips on how to do so:

    1. Create a Separate Email Address: Use a dedicated email address for your dating app. This will prevent any potential matches from finding your personal or work email, and it adds a layer of anonymity.
    2. Use a Nickname: Don’t use your full name on your dating profile. Use a nickname or just your first name to maintain some level of anonymity.
    3. Turn Off Location Services: Many dating apps use your location to match you with potential dates. You can disable this feature in your phone’s settings or within the app itself.
    4. Limit Profile Details: Don’t share too much personal information on your profile. Avoid posting specific details like your home address, workplace, or phone number. Be cautious about sharing sensitive information.
    5. Adjust Privacy Settings: Most dating apps offer privacy settings that allow you to control who can see your profile and contact you. Review and customize these settings to your comfort level.
    6. Use Private Photos: Many dating apps allow you to set some photos as private, meaning that they’re only visible to people you approve. Consider using this feature to protect your images from anyone who might stumble upon your profile.
    7. Chat Within the App: Stick to the messaging platform provided by the dating app. Avoid sharing your personal phone number or other messaging apps, like WhatsApp until you are comfortable and have established a level of trust.
    8. Be Cautious with Personal Information: When you decide to share personal information like your phone number, do so only when you feel comfortable with the person and believe they’re genuine. Always use your judgment and be cautious.
    9. Meet in Public Places: If you decide to meet someone you’ve connected with on the app, always meet in a public place. Inform a friend or family member about your plans and whereabouts.
    10. Protect Your Conversations: Dating apps have options to report and block users. If someone is making you uncomfortable or acting inappropriately, don’t hesitate to use these features.
    11. Log Out When Not in Use: Log out of the app when you’re not actively using it. This helps prevent others from accessing your profile if they have access to your device.
    12. Regularly Review Your Profile: Periodically review your profile to ensure that you are comfortable with the information you’ve shared. Update or remove details as needed.
    13. Consider Premium Features: Some dating apps offer premium features that provide extra privacy and control over your profile. Evaluate whether these features are worth the investment for you.

    Remember, discretion is a personal choice, and it’s essential to prioritize your safety and comfort while using dating apps. Trust your instincts and take things at your own pace. If you ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to remove yourself from the situation or report the issue to the dating app administrators.

    You can also change the way Grindr appears on your phone by changing the app’s icon on your screen. Find out how here.

  • How to reply to that standard “into” message on Grindr

    How to reply to that standard “into” message on Grindr

    So, you’re trawling on Grindr and the very standard convo goes something like this:

    Hey

    Hey

    Horny

    Yes…

    Into?

    That “into” can turn into a bit of a ballache if you have a list of things that you’re into, willing to try or dying to do with someone new, but can’t be bothered to write it out each time. Especially if like us, it’s pretty extensive.

    Sure you could just send the standard “wank, suck, fuck” reply, but wouldn’t it be cool to let the guy(s) you’re chatting to know exactly what you’re looking for?

    So, we have a suggestion. Introducing The List.

    “The List”

    It’s a prewritten list of all your turn-ons and what you’re looking for that’s ready to go at a moment’s notice.

    It’s really simple and easy to do, plus it’s a great conversation starter.

    Simply open up your phone’s notes app and list those kinks and quirks. You can be as specific as you want or leave a couple of things out, for later conversations. Even if you’re a basic member (like us) you can actually save it as a “saved phrase”. If you’re a Xtra member you can save more than one phrase.

    Getting what you want

    Using The List or saved phrases, firstly saves a lot of time, not having to type it out over and over and secondly, you’re putting it all out there, increasing your chances of a) getting exactly what you want and b) finding someone who’s into the same things as you.

    As it is, you shouldn’t really spring fetishes or sexual kinks on a hookup when you’re actually in person, unless it’s part of a wider conversation.

    Ideally, you need to lay all of that out before you set off so that the person you’re going to hook up with is informed.

    You’re very welcome.

  • We asked ChatGPT to write a Grindr profile and the results are pretty good.

    We asked ChatGPT to write a Grindr profile and the results are pretty good.

    ChatGPT is pretty incredible and we’re always look at ways we can expand its gay horizons, so we asked it to write a profile for Grindr and what we got was kinda good… we’re thinking about using it.

    So, imagine this next time you’re cruising… would you tap us?

    Profile Name: Quirky Sub Bottom Seeking Adventure!

    About Me: Greetings, fellow adventurers! I’m your resident sub bottom, ready to add some spice and laughter to your life. I bring a unique blend of sass, charm, and a penchant for adventure. Life’s too short to be vanilla, so let’s dive into the realm of pleasure and exploration together. I’m a firm believer in embracing all sides of my personality, including my cheeky and mischievous nature.

    Interests:

    • Exploring the hidden gems of the city (and your bedroom)

    • Binge-watching cheesy 80s movies (guilty pleasure alert!)

    • Trying out new kinks and pushing boundaries (safely, of course)

    • Hilarious memes and puns that make me snort-laugh

    What I’m Looking For: I’m on the lookout for a dominant partner who can match my quirky energy and ignite our chemistry. Someone who appreciates the art of consent, respect, and a wicked sense of humor. Let’s create a safe space where we can explore our fantasies, experiment, and discover new heights of pleasure. If you’re up for the challenge, let’s dive deep into the exciting world of submission and create unforgettable memories.

    Safe Words:

    • “Banana Split” (when things get too intense)

    • “Tickle Monster” (for a little break and laughter)

    • “Pineapple Express” (when we’re both ready to unleash the wild side)

    Deal Breakers:

    • Lack of communication and respect for boundaries

    • Taking life too seriously (let’s keep it playful!)

    • Ghosting or disappearing acts (let’s have the decency to say goodbye)

    Ready to embark on this tantalizing journey together? Shoot me a message, and let’s explore the uncharted territories of pleasure, laughter, and mutual satisfaction. Get ready for a ride you won’t forget!

  • 7 signs you have a Grindr Addiction

    7 signs you have a Grindr Addiction

    Is the time you’re spending on Grindr time well spent? Are you getting what you want out of it, or do you find yourself spiralling after a night of tapping, blocking and messaging? Do you think you might have a Grindr Addiction?

    What is Grindr Addiction?

    Addiction is a complex and chronic brain disease that is usually characterised by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite the harmful consequences that may result. It is often characterised by a physical and psychological dependence on a substance or behaviour, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, food or yes, even Grindr.

    Addiction is considered a chronic disease because it often involves long-term changes to the brain’s reward system and other areas involved in motivation, memory, and decision-making. These changes can make it difficult for individuals to control their impulses and make rational choices, even when they are aware of the negative consequences of their behaviour.

    Addiction can have a significant impact on someone’s physical and mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. It is treatable, but recovery can be a long and challenging process that requires ongoing support and commitment.

    To be fair it doesn’t have to be Grindr it could be any of the dating / hook-up app, but Grindr is, by far the most used and wide spread of the hook up apps catering for gay, bi and curious men.

    Grindr’s rise to success has been quick, in fact when we interviewed its creator back in 2012, the service had already aquired millions of users and it’s a hot internet property. The price tag recently was pinned at $600m.

    During the pandemic it was one of the only ways that gay guys could keep in touch with other gay guys. It was and still is a community. In many ways it has become what gay bars used to be for the gay community. It’s a place were people can meet, chat, talk sex and well, you get the picture.

    In fact for many guys it’s become a way of life, for some it is life.

    Grindr Addiction. What is it and do you have it?
    Grindr Addiction. Spending too much time chatting can be a sign of addiction.

    There are several signs and symptoms that may indicate a grindr addiction. These can include:

    • Feeling a compulsive need to check dating apps throughout the day. Are you sneaking a peak during work hours, or even during times when you really shouldn’t be checking them? Like on a date with another guy?
    • Neglecting other responsibilities, such as work, school, or social activities, in favour of using dating apps. Is the pull of dating apps so strong that you can’t focus on work anymore? Spending too much time doing this could lead to issues at work such as bad performance reviews, poor co-worker relationships and potentially the inability to complete tasks.
    • Feeling a sense of anxiety or withdrawal when not using dating apps. Do you get a dreaded feeling when your battery starts to die or there’s no wifi so you can’t log in to your favourite dating app? Do you start to get agitated, angry or withdrawn when you can’t log in?
    • Continuing to use dating apps despite experiencing negative consequences, such as failed relationships or social isolation. Despite the fact that the apps can leave you feeling depressed, dejected and lonely, do you find yourself still using them?
    • Spending excessive amounts of time swiping or scrolling through dating profiles. Swiping or tapping over and over, on a never-ending quest to find Mr Right?
    • Giving up activities. Giving up hobbies, social activities, or other interests in favour of spending countless hours online.
    • Changes in behaviour. Changes in personality or behaviour, such as mood swings or becoming isolated or secretive.

    Is there a way of overcoming Grindr Addiction?

    If you or someone you know is struggling with a dating app addiction, here are some steps that may help:

    1. Acknowledge the problem: The first step to overcoming any addiction is to recognize that there is a problem. Acknowledge that your use of dating apps has become compulsive and is having a negative impact on your life.
    2. Set goals: Decide what you want to achieve by reducing your use of dating apps. Setting specific goals can help you stay focused and motivated.
    3. Create a plan: Create a plan for reducing your use of dating apps. This might include setting limits on the amount of time you spend using them or deleting the apps altogether.
    4. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family members, or a mental health professional for support. Talking to others about your addiction can help you feel less isolated and more motivated to change. You could even check out self-help groups like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
    5. Find other activities: Identify other activities that you enjoy and that can serve as a healthy distraction from dating apps. This might include exercise, hobbies, or social activities with friends.
    6. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is important for overcoming addiction. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with dating app addiction, seeking professional help is recommended. Visit our wellness resource page for phone lines and help charities.

  • Blocked on Grindr: Can you find out who has blocked you?

    Blocked on Grindr: Can you find out who has blocked you?

    Where is that totally hot guy you were sharing pics and chatting with suddenly gone? Have I been blocked on Grindr?

    Chances are that he probably did… the question is can you know for sure?

    Previously, a glitch in the Grindr system allowed users to find out a list of people who had blocked them using a website called https://blocked.ongrindr.com/.

    However back in 2018, Grindr patched their software to effectively block the block website!

    So, no technically there is no straightforward to find out whether a guy has blocked you or not.

    How can I find out if someone has blocked me on Grindr?

    Have I been blocked on Grindr?
    There’s no simple way to find out if you have been blocked on Grindr. However, there are a couple of ways. You do have the legal right to access all the data Grindr holds on you – you can also do a little bit of sleuthing and detective work.

    However, you can always, create a new profile and see if the guy you’ve suspected of blocking you shows up when you log in with your new account. If he does, then you know he’s blocked your other account. However, it’s probably best not to get back in touch. If someone’s blocked you, reaching out to them would be against their wishes and could potentially be seen as stalking.

    It’s best to just dust yourself off and move on.

    Do I have the right to find out who’s blocked me on Grindr?

    Technically, in the UK – Yes. When someone blocks you that data is stored (and by Grindr) by both users – the blockee and the blocker. If you’re in the UK, you still have certain rights to see the information a company holds about you, which could mean any data that is held on your profile, which is not actually viewable by you through the app’s interface.

    Thanks to the Data Protection Act, if you really wanted to see what information the company holds about you, you can put in a request.

    Getting blocked on Grindr a lot?

    If you’re finding that you’re getting blocked a lot there could be some dating app mistakes that you’re making. Maybe you’re sending waaaayy too many dick pics without asking first. Is your face pic a good, friendly picture or do you look like a serial killer on the prowl? Check this article out to find out about what you can do to become some class A ass on Grindr.

  • Do you know what Grindr does with your data?

    Do you know what Grindr does with your data?

    Today is international data protection day, a day to highlight the importance of Data Protection and the right to privacy. But please don’t let that put you off reading further, I appreciate that when you say the words ‘Data Protection’ most people’s eye’s glaze over. And in many ways that’s deserving, it does have a bad rep, but also it’s far more important than that.

    Let me ask you a question, are you a user of the app Grindr? If not, then this is just a fascinating article for you. If so, you really do need to be aware of what Grindr has been up to with your data.

    When you use these apps, you expect them to take care of the data given that a wide range of people from our community use such apps. Yes for hook-ups, but also for contact and even just reaching out for those in remote communities or those unable to be ‘out’ where they live/work/other.

    The knowledge of where a gay/bi/trans/non-binary user is and indeed their data around their personal pictures is something that, if misused, can be used to huge detrimental effect.

    Grindr has had a troubled history with its Data Protection and Cyber Security protections. In 2020 a flaw in its security was highlighted to it by a ‘hacker’ and highlighted concerns over some back Cyber Security principles and standards with the online app. As an early user of Grindr, I remember the various bugs, crashes, data quality flaws that the app has faced over the years. This recent flaw highlighted some concerns in basic account security settings for an App that should now be ‘more mature’ in its approach to protecting customer data.     

    Earlier in 2018, Grindr made headlines as it was revealed that Grindr was owned by a Chinese firm linked (like most Chinese firms seem to be) to the Chinese Government. A regime, claimed by many Countries, to be engaged every minute of every day in cyber warfare. In 2020 the concerns became so much that the Chinese firm announced it was selling its shares in Grindr to a US-based company.

    An app that contains location, names, photos, sexuality and HIV status details of millions of users around the globe has had a chequered past of inappropriate data sharing and storage.   

    This was highlighted again this week after it was announced that the Data Protection Regulator in Norway was intending to fine Grindr NOK100,000,000 (or around €10M or ~$12.1M). If the fine goes ahead, this will be one of the more serious fines under Data Protection (almost 10% of Grindr’s annual turnover last year) that we have seen since the introduction of the GDPR.

    The Danish regulator investigated Grindr after a complaint was raised around Grindr’s sharing of personal data, specifically what it tells users and how it’s ‘take it or leave it’ consent is unlawful under Data Protection law.

    The investigation found that Grindr was sharing users personal data with third parties for marketing purposes (including location, profile data and the fact the person has an account on Grindr (itself a revealing characteristic)). Grindr states that it informs you, the user, of this and you consent to it. When it has been found that they don’t, as what they do provide you is unclear and misleading in the way it is written.

    It’s worth noting that Grindr isn’t the only one to engage in such practices. Several investigations over a range of dating and fertility apps around the globe have revealed some creepy behaviour from the majority of them. Grindr, it would seem, given the context of the platform, is just the most recent to be called out for its poor data sharing practices.

    Why you should care about your data

    So why is this an issue? Why should you, a ‘motivated’ user, for one thing, care about your Data Protection? The key is choice. Under Data Protection you can choose to use a service and not be subjected to marketing or irrelevant data sharing. You pay or want to use an app to do X or Y or Z. Not to then have your messages, images, profile data and even the fact you are on the app shared with other parties without your knowledge, or indeed consent.

    For the vulnerable in our community, Grindr (or other such apps) can be a lifeline to allow them to express themselves and reach others. This practice can only ever be creepy unless you are happy with it and are happy to have your details shared. Knowledge and choice. Such laws are there to go give you, the individual, the power to know, understand and chose what you want to happen and not to be forced into doing it because you have no real choice.

    As members of the LGBT community, we know in our history what the power of data can do. It can build and connect; it can also destroy and damage. While I’m not advocating dumping Grindr as this is a chance for them to improve their practices, I encourage you to see Data Protection as more than just a dull legalistic thing. It is every day in everything. Even if you chose to give away your data, which is your right and freedom, at least make an informed choice.

    P.S. You might also want to take a look at WhatsApp and Facebook. They wrote the book on being creepy and it’s only getting worse.

  • Gay man killed by machete after hookup goes terribly wrong

    Gay man killed by machete after hookup goes terribly wrong

    A man has been “hacked to death”, apparently by his Grindr hook up, in the Bronx, New York.

    An unnamed and unidentified male in New York has been killed in an apparent machete attack after his hookup date “violently cut him into pieces”, over what is thought to be a disagreement over sexual activities. It is believed the two met over the gay dating/ hook up, Grindr.

    The alleged killer, Juan Alonso, was found, according to the New York Post to be wearing women’s underwear, bra and dress.

    The victim, who has not be named, was found by Alonso’s roommate, who came home to find a bloodbath, with Alonso purportedly standing over his victim, holding the machete.

    The building’s supervisor, John Gonzalez, told the New York Daily News that the victim had been “cut up and left “on the floor in pieces”.

    “Dispute escalated”

    Alonso was taken into custody where he was psychologically evaluated, and charged with murder, manslaughter and criminal possession of a weapon according to the police.

    Officials are investigating whether there was a “dispute over not liking certain sex activities and it escalated,

    “The perp is not in his right mind,” a police source said. “He might have taken drugs,” a spokesperson for the police said.

    Please check out our hook up and dating tips for safely hook up when using a dating app.

  • How to use your desktop to chat on Grindr Web

    How to use your desktop to chat on Grindr Web

    Sitting at your desk and want to keep up-to-date with what’s going on with Grindr? Now you can, thanks to Grindr Web.

    Instead of using your phone and zapping up all that valuable battery power, you can log onto Grindr’s chat website using your computer – all you need to do is log on to web.grindr.com/mail.

    To make it look like you’re actually still doing some work, Grindr has come up with an “office view” which makes it look like a work-type chat system – it basically removes all the user profile pictures, so it’s safe for work!

    Pretty handy to keep your boss off your back (unless of course, he happens to be online too!)

    How do you log into Grindr’s Website?

    You’ll need to open the app on your phone and open up Grindr on your desktop computer. On your phone, go to settings (by clicking on your profile and clicking on to the settings options) You’ll see an option saying, “Log in to Grindr web”. 

    You’ll then have to scan the QR code, with your phone, shown on your desktop screen and voila, Grindr will link your phone and your computer. 

    Once linked, you’ll be able to see all your previous messages, respond to them, check profiles and basically use Grindr as you normally would.

    It will require access to your location details in order to use the GPS function. 

    Where is Grindr’s web login site?

    Where is Grindr's web login site?

    To log into Grindr desktop service, just head on over to https://web.grindr.com/mail. There you can start the process of logging into your account.

  • Have Grindr’s “really annoying and irrelevant” ads become too much?

    Have Grindr’s “really annoying and irrelevant” ads become too much?

    Ads for games about killing people and irrelevant ads are making guys want to delete Grindr and find another app.

    It’s been said that Grindr can be a necessary tool in order to get hookups or dates in the men who sleep with men scene, but its adverts are starting to take a toll on some users, who say they have had enough.

    Taking to a site called, UserVoice, although there are numerous other forums on the subject, one person simply stated, “stop the annoying ads, you’re killing the app” a statement which seemingly resonated with lots of people.

    The Great Switch Off?

    Of course, ads are unavoidable for a platform like Grindr or even THEGAYUK for that matter to exist, after all, if you’re getting the product for free, then payment comes from your eyeballs on sponsors’ messages. But too many and you’ll have people complaining and switching off.

    Relevancy of the adverts shown is also an issue. That issue was pointed out by one user, who wrote, “Very negative ads about killing people is too much” while another added, “Too many ads for ridiculous games aimed at a completely different target audience”

    People also complained that they were still getting ads even though they had paid for Xtra or Unlimited.

    [totalpoll id=”122461″]

    Return on investment?

    Grindr was recently bought by a new company, after its former Chinese owners, Beijing Kunlun Tech was forced to sell because the Committee on Foreign Investment (CFIUS) the United States, ordered the company to sell off a majority stake in the company in 2019.

    Its new owners San Vicente Acquisition Partners, who installed Jeff Bonforte and Rick Marini (both straight) as the CEO and COO respectively, reportedly paid over $600 m for the app.

    Now, as you can image, they’ll be looking to make returns on that investment.

    They’ve already started to sell profile boosts to ensure that your picture remains at the top of other people’s feeds for an hour or so and the apps also sell upgrades to Xtra and Unlimited. ◾️

    THEGAYUK reached out to Grindr for comment.