THEGAYUK

Tag: How Gay Is…

  • LOOK AT ME | Miranda Sings

    LOOK AT ME | Miranda Sings

    Miranda Sings is an internet celebrity, a model, a singer and a Worldwide phenomenon who has thousands of fans… and some haters. She started a YouTube channel in 2008 and since then has had over 30m views. She has a legion of West End and Broadway fans, who she sometimes helps out with ‘singing lessons.’ With her powerhouse vocals and natural performing abilities you’re bound to fall in love with Miranda – after all you’re only human.

    Miranda Sings
    CREDIT: Netflix

    1) So, Miranda, recently we saw your Vlog on Chick-Fil-A. Are you angry that they might have a say in who you marry?

    I’m very angry about it. It’s none of their business if I want to marry someone. I should be able to marry a gay man if I want to. Just saying…

    7/10 We love a political woman and we love a woman who wants to marry a gay man.

     

    2) Do you drink to:

    a) Mask the pain

    b) Be closer to Liza

    c) Brush your teeth like Ke$ha

    I would have to say D none of the above. I drink because I’m thirsty.

    1/10 Yes, but drinking can be for so much more than quenching thirst!

     

    3) Do you know what Amyl Nitrate is?

    I think she’s a singer.

    1/10 She may well be… But you wouldn’t be able to sniff her. Well actually you could, but it wouldn’t make you want to drop your kegs and get busy…

     

    4) What’s the most expensive item of clothing you’ve bought?

    I mostly just wear clothes from my mom or uncle. but I bought a really expensive sequinned hat last week. It was 15 dollars… I spent all of my chore money on it.

    2/10 Your Mum or Uncle? Oh dear. This isn’t going well, unless of course your Mum is Cher and your Uncle is Liberace.

     

    5) Gays are fun because….

    We have a lot in common. We are both beautiful, we like rainbows, and kissing boys. So we are practically the same except I’m more talented.

    7/10 Well natch! Of course you’re more talented. 30m views can’t be wrong…

     

    Miranda Sings
    CREDIT: Netflix

    6) The internet is for:

    a) Porn

    b) Hookups

    c) Singing Lessons

    d) John Lewis

    Obviously C… but also for my youtube videos.

    3/10 Well when we’re not using the internet for porn, hookups or looking at John Lewis’s summer barbecue range then we’re downloading your singing lessons.

     

    7) Which One Direction would you like to bone?

    None of them because they are not dogs. Humans don’t eat bones.

    1/10 Not sure if you understand the question… However you are quite right. Humans don’t eat bones. Generally.

     

    8) Madonna is…

    porn.

    10/10 And she scores a perfect 10

     

    9) How do you solve a problem like Maria?

    Give her a voice lesson.

    8/10 This woman is on fire.

     

    10) Gyms are for…

    a) Getting fit

    b) Cruising

    c) Crying into the mirror, because you’ll never be Tom Daley

    I would have to say for fat people.

    3/10 Logical and to the point, but loses point for not using the politically correct term of Morbidly Grotesque

     

    43/100 Miranda still has some way to go to become a proper gayer. However, we love her stance on Chick-Fil-A and her natural affinity with the gays.

     

    Follow Miranda at: https://www.youtube.com/user/mirandasings08

    You can also watch her on her Netflix show, Haters Back Off

  • LOOK AT ME | Pam Ann

    If you don’t know who Pam Ann is, then clearly you’ve been living under the wing of some lesser known aircraft (possibly an old Boeing 727-100 without ‘wing-tips’).

    Pam Ann, plunged on to the scene after a night on the vodka and has been wowing audiences ever since. Madonna is a fan, so is Cher, Elton has had her crew on his private jet and she’s rubbed herself up against the world’s rich and famous. We put Pam Ann through The Gay Test.
    1) The best way to travel is:

    a) Coked off your head in First…

    b) Coked off your head in Business…

    c) Swigging from a can of Stella in an upturned bucket, whilst being shouted at by an upstart attendant named Chellllseeeeee…

    None of those, the best way is face down on a flat bed with a cock in my ass.

    10/10 Wow this Bitch is a power bottom, Pam Ann gets right to it. We’d prefer a glass of champs then a cock in the ass… Just sayin.

     

    2) Do you know what ‘Sounding’ is?

    The sound a pussy makes after wearing polyester trousers on a 24 hour flight.

    3/10 That’s an image I now can’t get out of my head. No one should ever were polyester. Ever.

     

    3) The best thing about ‘your gays’ is…

    They love mood lighting.

    10/10 Oh yes we do. Many hours spent in the lighting department of John Lewis, Pam, it’s like you know us…

     

    4) Snog, Marry, Machete:

    Elton

    George

    Boy George

    I’d marry Elton, Snog George and bareback Boy George.

    7/10 Mr George is on line 5. He’ll be round shortly.

     

    5) What is your most extravagant purchase?

    I’ve recently purchased 95 Airbus A380s.

    3/10 We were thinking something mink or platinum, but what ever floats your boat or blows your wings.

     

    6) What’s your must have item when traveling the world?

    A wet pussy.

    3/10 Tabby? Don’t understand the answer? Pussy?

     

    7) Boyzillian or Hairy?

    Hair chest boyzillian cock.

    9/10 What a pro… Best of both worlds.

     

    8) Complete this gay mantra: Don’t go for second best baby / Put your love to the test

    You know, you know, you’ve got...

    an asshole like a hippo’s yawn.

    7/10 Ah yes the feeling you get after a good 24 hour flight, being pummelled by all and sundry..

     

    9) In a perfect world all gay men would…

    They are already perfect – C**s.

    11/10 Why Thank you… Can’t argue with the logic. Nice use of C**t. Extra point.

     

    10) What’s your favourite bit about Matthew Mitcham?

    His double pike.

    6/10 We could drown in his double pike. Oh Matthew… Matthew… Matthew…

     

    69/100. Our favourite Flight attendant is well on the way to Gaydom. Her understanding of her core demographic is spooky. Mood lighting, Mile High Club, Matthew Mitcham and she clearly loves a bit of cock. It’s uncanny, she’s almost one of us! Book for Pam Ann’s 2013 UK tour. Tickets are now on sale. To book tickets visit:PamAnn.com

  • HOW GAY IS… Beryl Marsden

    The ever-present 60’s icon Beryl Marsden was recently hanging out with David Gest, has Liza Minnelli as a fan, went out on the razz with Dusty Springfield and insists on being called Lady B! (okay we insist on calling her Lady B)

    1. Which Village Person is your favourite?

    The Red Indian. I like his feathers.

    10/10 Short and to the point. A woman who knows what she likes in a man… Feathers. Gay.

    2. Do you know what a Boyzillian is?

    LB: A gay millionaire?

    (Lady B is informed what a Boyzillian is )

    LB: Even their Willy?

    TGUK: Yes…

    LB: Their Bums?

    TGUK: yes…

    LB: Their cracks… (a look of what can only be described as sheer horror and WTF, then laughs and then with head in hands…) ‘Oh dear… How painful!

    10/10 Just for sheer comedy of the moment

    3. Did you ‘Kiss A Girl’ and like it?

    LB: Yes…

    TGUK: Who?

    LB: Not telling…

    TGUK: Did you like it.

    LB: Not for me really… But I did spend time with Dusty Springfield and her girlfriend and a few other lesbian couples. We used to go down to London and spend time at Sombrero. (Very old, gay venue in the 70s, we had to look it up!) It was such an eye-opener, but I loved it. It was still very underground and nothing like the scene today, but I really felt at home.

    8/10 Old school gay nostalgia and a quick lesson in homo history. Bravo…

    4. Do you know where Gay Mecca is?

    LB: Without a doubt Tenerife. Colourful, men with their tops off and every year there’s a huge colourful parade. Love singing to the crowds there.

    7/10 Not mentioned in Spartacus, but we love that where ever Beryl goes there’s a parade. Very Streisand.

    5. Do you know what Poppers are?

    LB: Yes… They used to do it in the clubs in the 60s, but it made your head all funny, so I didn’t try it…

    4/10 Don’t say no till you give it a go dear! We love the headachy high…

    6. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve ever bought?

    LB: Back in the day, I saw this outrageous purple coat with witchy witch collars and cuffs, from a flea market. It was mad. I got it home and looked at myself in the mirror and thought I looked really stupid, the next day I was out and Jimmy Hendrix said, I love that coat… Can I buy it off you? So I marked up the price and sold it on. He looked great in it…

    10/10 Name dropping like Tom Jones, and excellent ‘mark em up, sell em on’ attitude, we love it.

    7. What’s you most surreal moment?

    LB: Standing at the edge of the stage getting ready to sing at the first ever World AIDS Day concert at Wembley with George Michael. Looking out at all those faces was inspiring and I had a moment of ‘I can’t believe this is my life…’

    10/10 Charity concerts with George Michael. Give this woman an OBE.

    8. God’s answer to gay men a) Babysham b) Tom Daley c) The ability to uplight a room with the simplest of incandescent light bulbs?

    LB: Babysham… With Brandy. Try it, it’s disgusting but gets you mad drunk.

    10/10 Mixing drinks. This is gay science. Take a relatively butch spirit and add possibly the gayest drink known to man (and his poodle) as a mixer. Pats, Eddy – I think you’ve got a new recruit.

    9. Any celebrity feuds.

    LB: When I first started to sing with Martha (of the Martha Reeves and the Vandellas fame) she was a right (pauses for a moment to consider the right word) So and So. Really diva-ery. We had words and it got a little hot, if you know, what I mean. She was stressed because people had walked out on a tour and everything was highly emotional. After a few calming words we all knuckled down and the show was a great success.

    5/10 Ok, it’s not Mariah Vs. Whitney (rest her soul) or Mariah Vs. Madonna or Mariah Vs. Mariah, but it’ll do!

    10. A Gay Icon is…

    LB: Somebody who sings with love and joy in their heart, someone who really touches people with their message – that – or having Liza Minnelli as a fan…

    TGUK: Liza’s a fan?

    LB: Well she used to come watch us perform back in the 60s. She was well up for it!

    20/10 She mentioned Liza. Who cares what the score is at this point.

    94% Gay. We had a sneaking suspicion that Lady B was waving that flag. Inside this woman is a whole chorus line waiting to bust out in a song from Cabaret.

    Beryl is performing at the Soho festival in London, Soho on Sunday the 15th July (55 Deans Street) and has a brand new album out called Changes – The Story of Beryl Marsden out now on RPM/ Cherry Red Records

  • LOOK AT ME | Rylan Clark, I go commando…

    LOOK AT ME | Rylan Clark, I go commando…

    You can’t dispute that Mr Rylan Clark is one of the most talked about contestants on X FACTOR… like ever.

    He hangs out with Ms Price, is friends with Towie’s Harry Derbidge, calls the Two Shoes (XFactor) girls BBFs and his fans are affectionally known as Sirens, he wears a Stonewall ‘Some people are gay T shirt’ Our gay-o-meter has officially exploded.

     

    1) Have you ever bitch slapped someone in a Alexis Dynasty style?

    I actually haven’t! it is on my list of things to do, although there are one or two people in the picture at the moment. Watch this space!

    7/10 One or two people? Details Rylan, We want details of your celebrity feuds…

     

    2) What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever bought?

    Its not a purchase but i was once given a bottle of snake venom face serum, its worth something ridiculous like a few grand, and comes with a massive warning certificate not to take it orally. No one tells me not to take it orally…

    10/10 Dirty, snake loving gayness. Britney loved a bit of snake back in the day.

     

    3) Are you a bottle blonde?

    Haha I am a bottle blonde i wont lie, but recently have just gone black! I’m already missing the burning sensation of peroxide. TAKE ME BACK!

    10/10 Ah, just like Ms. Pricey: Blonde, Black, Blonde, Black. Where will it all end?

     

    4) Have you Botox’d?

    I haven’t actually had Botox no, but i have had my lips done. Im actually learning how to do Botox and fillers at the moment!

    9/10 Following in the footsteps of some other well known Essex birds and opening your own “Salon” LOVE IT LOVE IT. Can we make a group booking?

     

    5) Can you complete this passage from the Gay bible?

    I made it through the wilderness, Somehow I made it through

    DIDNT KNOW HOW LOST I WAS UNTIL I FOUND YOU-OOOOOHHHH

    10/10 For some reason I’m picturing shots of Jagerbombs, a poll dance and copious amount of vomit… A good night had by all.

     

    6) Who is your style icon?

    I don’t really have a style icon, I do wear ridiculous outfits but i like to look at different people and take bits that i like and work them together. Then again at home i’ll wear a trackie going commando, you cant beat it!

    9/10 Flying in the face of fashion without a care – extra marks for talking about flying free in sweats.

     

    7) Have you ever dumped a boy because his boy parts were too small?

    No i haven’t, that don’t bother me too much as it’s mine that needs to be a good size in the bedroom if you know what i mean……

    8/10 Are you boasting Mr Clark?

     

    8) Thank Liza because:

    a) Summer is here and boys are roaming the streets topless?

    b) Kylie has a smash on her hands with TimeBomb?

    c) Pimms makes drinking in the afternoon acceptable – and kills the pain?

    D – ALL OF THE ABOVE, love that crack-whore she’s a genius

    15/10 As do we, As do we…

     

    9) Who would play you in a movie of your life?

    I have no idea, I haven’t met someone like me who i think could do the job properly. maybe we should do auditions!

    7/10 Wheel out the casting couch…

     

    10) Have you ever used Miss Price’s name to get someone into bed?

    I haven’t no, to be honest I’ve been single for 3 years, its not a great feeling but just the way it is, I’m on the lookout for a husband so if anyones interested drop me a line! haha!

    10/10 Like any good celebrity, using the rags to get a husband… Bravo Bravo…

     

    Who knew. We love a bit of Rylan. Well actually we love of Rylan. Coming to a celebrity party near you.

     

    to catch up Rylan check outhttp://www.twitter.com/rylanclark

     

  • LOOK AT ME | Bowie Jane

    MISS U HATE U singer Bowie Jane singer stopped by The Gay UK gin palace for a little chat and well we got down to business to find out exactly how Gay she is!

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