THEGAYUK

Tag: Running w-Heals

  • MOTORING | Running w-Heels November 2017

    Welcome to Running w-Heels. A monthly or some such column of the woes and joys I face running an ageing fleet of metal from Italy and Germany. So far the fleet consists of….

    Barry. The 1976 VW camper van.
    Jelf. The 1991 Mk2 Golf (with Jetta front) GL Auto
    Tempra. The 1993 Fiat Tempra
    Roberto. The 1982 Fiat X1/9

    The X1/9 has been declared SORN and now off the road for winter. An 80’s Fiat full of Italian steel is not known for longevity over a British winter. My local council started to salt the streets early.

    The Bus has finally gone off to the painters for a refresh. It’s only taken nine years since I bought it to get to this stage – eventually. More on the renovations another time.

    The Fiat Tempra with its partial galvanisation has suddenly been thrust into carrying out the daily commute because the Mk2 Golf has once again decided to a bit bing-bong wrong. The Fiat I might add has been a solid example of reliability compared to the Golf.

    I can wax lyrical about the virtues of an old Golf. Volkswagen PR would be happy with the enthusiasm I could spread about the ageing car. Ageing, however, is what the thing is doing and fast.

    With the bus out of the workshop, I had planned on attending to a bit of rust l had noticed on the floor and sill by the driver’s side wing. This wasn’t to happen. The water pump had decided to shed its main bearing resulting in a noisy pump that could fling its pulley off at any given moment.

    Replacement parts for the Golf are still readily available from most motor factors, and VW does stock some parts though I have discovered that Gates supply them with new cambelts, so that’s what I’ll be using next time and saving in the process too.

    What’s so difficult about a water pump on an mk2 Golf? Nothing if I am honest. Nothing that is if the 4 Allen key bolts come free from the main crank pulley. The use of a spline drive bit needed to be hammered in to bite the four rounded Allen key bolts. A few choice words and some grunts and all was free.

    Those who will know the wonders of the simplicity of the Mk2 Golf engine will be wondering why I was doing a cambelt as well when the water pump is run of an auxiliary belt. The answer lays in an oil weeping intermediate shaft oil seal. No mean feat and thanks to the Haynes book of lies and Barry Mc Gowan on YouTube, that job was a piece of cake. Also, the cambelt is now four years old and releasing the tension on a belt that is both stretched, and over 30k miles needs replacing. It’s good practice. After all it all that stands between the top and bottom of your engine meeting in the middle.

    This isn’t the first time I had done a cambelt I might add. The first was some 20 years ago on a Ford Orion Ghia. That was so simple to do. Even the tensioner was a piece of cake to set.

    What I hadn’t taken into account was the plethora of markings on the VW pulleys. I failed if l am honest in timing it up correctly. My fault. Hands up. I did, however, mark it up to using my own marks, so it should have worked. What I hadn’t taken into account was the intermediate shaft being as loose as the Calvin Klein underwear of a rent boy from Kingscross. So the timing went out.

    Thankfully I had marked the sprocket so all should have been easy. Not so. Unlike some cars where “special manufacturing tools” are required to lock bits into place, the intermediate shaft had a tendency to rotate a groove or two when lining up the cambelt.

    After some more choice words, finding VW’s timing marks and about three attempts later I had it sorted. The belt was on, the tensioner set and to hell with it, I turned the key, and it started.

    All bits were put back on, the crank pulley needed drilling and tapping on one of the four bolts because it stripped and the Golf was back to running again.

    When I say running again, it wasn’t quite that simple. Six weeks in the sick bay have rendered it a bag of old spanners. It isn’t a car that likes sitting around so not the best car to own when I have others cars (or bicycles) to test over the year. The auto choke unit has now decided to throw over fuelling to the wind, but I feel this is caused by eight weeks of incarceration in the sick bay.

    Doing the work myself has saved me a bit of cash. The Mk2 Golf is as simple as a frying pan. It’s been a faff to do all this, but at 110,000 miles it’s no spring chicken of a car. It is, however, developing a pattern of having a major strop at least once a year. This one has cost me £90 in parts. It doesn’t, however, cover the rear brake rebuild, wheel bearings and front brake calliper needed over the year of 2017.

    All added up, it does still make for cheap running, but a Citroen Berlingo Multispace with sunroof is getting closer to being on the drive. It’s just that the three on eBay at the time were all red. I’ve two red Fiat’s and a new blue front door. I like coordination so brace yourselves for the shrieks from the TGUK workshop when a blue Berlingo goes for sale anywhere in the country.

  • FORD MUSTANG | Just Call Me Mustang Sally

    Ford put on quite a show recently to a few motoring journalists for the launch of the 2017 Mustang Convertible. Not only was there a play in the new pony car but a polo match and tuition on how to play it albeit thankfully not on the horse and a day at Goodwood festival of speed.

    First up though was the excitement for the new Mustang that was then halted by the presence of a 1977 Mk2 Capri 1.6 L. Mustang does something to the inner you and l suppose if I was American it would do more but the Capri really was the car they said you’ve always promised yourself. And being British it stirred me up the wrong way. Thankfully Charlotte Ward from Ford Heritage entrusted me with the keys and I was able to satisfy those pangs with the joyous sound of a 1.6 pinto engine doing nothing but making noise when you pushed the pedal to the metal.

    Noise with motion was not a problem in the new Mustang with its V8 thundering under the bonnet. Motion was there in abundance. Sometimes too much was there. Even with all the traction control, you could still have some fun. You could also turn it off too but this is really only for legends. Come to think of it there were many different setting even down to a ‘track’ setting. I kept it as it was and cruised. The roads around Goodwood are not great for sideways action. As a thundering toy, I liked what I saw.

    The route took us to watch the Jaeger-LeCoultre Gold Cup polo courtesy of Guy and Charlotte from the Cowdray polo academy. As an animated fan, Guy was able to enthuse with abundance about polo, the skills needed, what made a good polo horse and the players. A gentle sport it is not and Charlotte showed off her skills at brownie making. Diet or not, I hit those hard.

    Dinner was interspersed with what can only be described as a perfect accompaniment to wine tasting five different wines and champagnes by Wiston with husband and wife team Richard and Kirsty Goring providing ample joviality per bottle per course. A lot of fun, even if we were lead down the wrong path by Richard who during the quiz asked questions he and Kirsty had not mentioned. An uproar ensued.

    Sunday was filled with a trip to Goodwood. Having never been before I can only express that it is far bigger than I thought it would be and quite overwhelming. There is just so much to see both on and off the track. This was after all The Festival of Speed.

    THEGAYUK hopes to get hold of a new Mustang for further examination so watch this space and a look around the heritage fleet too.

     

  • COLUMN | Okay, basically I want a VW Beetle

    COLUMN | Okay, basically I want a VW Beetle

    Everywhere around Bird towers, you will spot something relating to Volkswagen.

    More-so relating to the old school ways of the Beetle and bus. Most things during my school days related to the little VW even down to my GCSE art project. Outside of school I could always be found with my head in a VW book or making models of Beetles. I even made a radio controlled Beetle similar to the one Barbra Streisand was in from the film What’s Up Doc? I suppose it isn’t surprising then that there is a 70’s camper van in the garage and a Mk2 Golf on the driveway.

    Indoors, I am strict and have nothing car related in the lounge or my bedroom. A petrol head needs a place or two to get away from the motor vehicle. That said, the man lab has plenty of Beetle based memorabilia on the shelves and there is even an engine deck lid stuck to the shed disguising the pots my creepers grow from. There is also a Beetle bonnet behind the garage that I’ll make into something for the garden.

    So it might come as a surprise to you that I find the Beetle an absolutely awful car.

    Anyone who has owned one will be getting ready to scratch my eyes out with that above statement but I stand by it. Anyone who has just driven one may actually agree with me. They are an acquired taste and are like nothing else out there, from way back in 1948 to the day in 1978 when it was discontinued in Europe, although the convertible did continue until 1980.

    The driving position was cramped. The doors were just millimetres from your elbows. The pedals mounted from the floor giving an unusual feel. The extremities of the vehicle were impossible to see and there were no parking sensors in the 70s. The steering wheel almost horizontal and there wasn’t really any kind of dashboard until the arrival of the 1303 with its panoramic windscreen. Come to think of it the passenger compartment was cramped.

    One thing I will say is that the heating was good. It’s a complicated system full of levers by the handbrake and relies on engine speed. Badly maintained it is also prone to haemorrhaging vital air reducing the output to the breath of half a dozen kittens. Citroën’s 2CV wasn’t this bad and that relied on little heat exchangers and two cylinders.

    Considering its overall length of over 13 ft, it also lacked luggage space of anything reasonable. The bulletproof engine took up the boot area leaving the front compartment under the bonnet to resemble what should have been a spacious area for luggage. Though it was essential in propelling the Beetle forward, the fuel tank sat in the boot area along with the spare wheel. It left you with 4.9 cu.ft of space. despite it not being the easiest car to clamber into, there was some extra space behind the rear seat. The rear seat did fold down but it never turned it into an estate.

    The ride could best be described as entertaining and bouncy made even worse when lowered. The 1302 and 1303 models with McPherson struts was better. The swing axle rear end was lively.

    After the second world war, AC cars, Ford and Rootes group performed a vehicle analysis on the Beetle. None found the Beetle particularly good. It’s interesting that Baron William Rootes of the Rootes Group who owned Humber taking a dislike to the vehicle. During their testing using a Mk2 Hillman Mink, Rootes were quite keen to penalise the Beetle for the smallest indifferences. Ironic then that the flawed Beetle would go on to become a market leader, world conqueror and champion of the people’s car while his company failed and in 1979 was bought by Peugeot.

    Looking at two group tests from 1968 and 1976 one thing remains: the Beetle. In ’68 the Beetle was pitted against the Austin 1100, Ford Escort and Vauxhall Viva. In ’76 it was relegated to the cheap end of motoring with the Citroën Dyane, Honda Civic and Reliant Kitten. The Beetle was consistent in two areas. It was expensive. It was well made. It was also not the best in many areas where others were doing it so much better. FYI in ’76, the Beetle was more expensive than the better packaged VW Polo.

    Today the Beetle is still regarded by many as a wonderful car. I’m sure in some ways Disney are responsible for a generation who love the little bug. It’s true that after the first feature film, sales grew in the US.

    The Beetle had its heydey in the UK in the 80s when the Cal-look became popular. It continued to grow into the 90s. The scene for the Beetle shows no signs of slowing down. It’s true that the club scene has changed over the last 10 years. The bus that could once be bought really cheaply took over but looking around, there is a resurgence for the Beetle once-more. Probably in some part due to the bus being so expensive and the Beetle being so cheap. The trend at the moment does look set to change. The bus will never be cheap and the Beetle isn’t looking that cheap now either.

    Here then is my dilemma. Despite its flawed ways I still want one. I almost bought one 3 years ago. I want to make a Herbie replica and the one I found was perfect. I just wasn’t the highest drunken bidder on a Saturday night.

    And why do I want one? There hasn’t been a car made since the Beetle that has so much character. The sound of that engine talks to you. You can’t help to smile when you see one. It’s classless, that can cause great envy. A vehicle designed to move people from A to B and yet it moves them in other ways too.

    Watch this space.

     

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  • MOTORING | My Oliver

    MOTORING | My Oliver

    Have you every had a half-arsed idea that suddenly cropped into your head and you think “Oh yes, what a good idea”? That exact thing happened to me the other day.

    CREDIT: Stuart M Bird

    In a sober moment, I decided that with some of the scrap at work I was going to ‘create’ something for the garden. I already have a VW Beetle deck lid as a planter and a bonnet hanging up from the fence. The neighbours think I am a little strange in a good way.

    I’ve been single for so long now. I don’t want sympathy, that you can keep. The trouble is finding a man who both likes the garden, cars and a bit of DIY. Like Paula Cole sang, “I’ve not found my Marlboro man either. So I set about making a little man for the garden. I called him Oliver. It sort of stands for ‘left OVER parts’ that would have otherwise ended up in the recycling heap.

    So what makes Oliver? He has a Citroën face, a Peugeot left arm and a Fiat right arm all attached to a Toyota Hilux body. His legs are fast and jazzy made from Porsche shocks and Honda disc feet. To top it all off he has hair by Fiat and wears a flower made by Volkswagen.

    All this does sound like I have lost the plot. Well, to add to the enjoyment I had forgotten one vital important detail. I need to weld him together. I like power tools. I’ve made all sorts of things in the past for the home, garage and camper van. I have the ideas but there is a problem. That problem being I have never really welded before. It’s easier than you think yet difficult.

     

    CREDIT: Stuart M Bird

    OK, I lied a little there. I tried welding back in 1996 when I tried to repair my Citroën Visa. I made it worse. Much worse. So I filled the hole with filler.

    The trouble with Oliver is that he has thick grade steel and really thin stuff that just melted. His head fell off on the first attempt. Sorry Oliver. Tack welding is difficult to do. Seam welding just as difficult. I need more practice and that for sure I will do. I own old cars, I want to be able to weld. I need to be able to weld.

    So more on this later in the year to come when Oliver gets a dog. In the meantime, if you want to have a go at something, just do it. Give it a go, you never know where it might end up.