Have you every had a half-arsed idea that suddenly cropped into your head and you think “Oh yes, what a good idea”? That exact thing happened to me the other day.

CREDIT: Stuart M Bird

In a sober moment, I decided that with some of the scrap at work I was going to ‘create’ something for the garden. I already have a VW Beetle deck lid as a planter and a bonnet hanging up from the fence. The neighbours think I am a little strange in a good way.

I’ve been single for so long now. I don’t want sympathy, that you can keep. The trouble is finding a man who both likes the garden, cars and a bit of DIY. Like Paula Cole sang, “I’ve not found my Marlboro man either. So I set about making a little man for the garden. I called him Oliver. It sort of stands for ‘left OVER parts’ that would have otherwise ended up in the recycling heap.

So what makes Oliver? He has a Citroën face, a Peugeot left arm and a Fiat right arm all attached to a Toyota Hilux body. His legs are fast and jazzy made from Porsche shocks and Honda disc feet. To top it all off he has hair by Fiat and wears a flower made by Volkswagen.

All this does sound like I have lost the plot. Well, to add to the enjoyment I had forgotten one vital important detail. I need to weld him together. I like power tools. I’ve made all sorts of things in the past for the home, garage and camper van. I have the ideas but there is a problem. That problem being I have never really welded before. It’s easier than you think yet difficult.


CREDIT: Stuart M Bird

OK, I lied a little there. I tried welding back in 1996 when I tried to repair my Citroën Visa. I made it worse. Much worse. So I filled the hole with filler.

The trouble with Oliver is that he has thick grade steel and really thin stuff that just melted. His head fell off on the first attempt. Sorry Oliver. Tack welding is difficult to do. Seam welding just as difficult. I need more practice and that for sure I will do. I own old cars, I want to be able to weld. I need to be able to weld.

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So more on this later in the year to come when Oliver gets a dog. In the meantime, if you want to have a go at something, just do it. Give it a go, you never know where it might end up.


About the author: Stuart M Bird

Motoring nurse or medical motorist? It's a difficult one. By day l nurse and by night l drive.
Fingers have always been grease deep in attending the motoring of an ageing fleet. And now l write about new and old.
If you have a car or motoring product you would like reviewed here for TGUK please e mail me:

Member of the Southern Group of Motoring Writers. (SGMW)

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Twitter: @t2stu

Instagram: t2stu