This week a reader asks whether he and his partner can use a ginger root as an insertable during sex.
“Hey guys,
My partner and I want to be adventurous, and try vegetable insertion, and have been told ginger is particularly good as it gives a burning sensation.”
Anon
Dear Anon
Oh dear god don’t. Have you ever put a ginger directly on to your tongue? It burns. Now multiply that by many times over and that’s what, I imagine, putting a ginger up yer bum will most likely feel like.
Like chillies, ginger has chemical compounds that cause a burn. In ginger, the chemical is called Gingerol which is very similar to capsaicin – the heat and taste creating chemical in a chilli.
Now if you’re looking for something that gives off heat that is warming whilst putting something up your ass – then there are loads of lubes that will give you that sensation. For instance, Durex’s Warming lube will effectively warm up your hole, without making it a ring of fire.
Plus, it’s condom compatible and safe to use internally.
If you’re looking for a bobbly insertable, there are many butt plugs or dildos on the market, like these anal beads from Carvaka that will give you interesting and unexpected feelings, down there.
As with anything that you might think about putting up your bum, a good rule of thumb is, if it burns on the tip of your tongue, it will feel even more intense elsewhere. Remember, the anus is much more difficult to wash out, at speed, than your mouth.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
To get your sexual health and emotional questions answered click here.
We spoke with a number of adult stars who work in the adult film industry to ask the questions we were just burning to ask. One of those questions was whether bottoms earn more than tops in scenes
So, imagine if you will, you’re a bottom in a scene, you’ve got a lot more prep to do to make sure you’re ready for the scene and make extra special preparations so you don’t have an awkward accident mid-scene. We’ve been told that you have to be careful with your diet as well as keeping a healthy lifestyle. Mexican food is apparently the worst!
You’ve also got to be able to take a pounding for hours. One star told us that filming a scene could take up to five hours. Ouch.
So we put the question to those who identified as bottoms or versatile in the industry and asked whether they get paid more than their partners. Sebastian Evan who has worked for Blakemason and Brit Hard Lads, told us, “I always bottom and I ONLY bottom. And no, we do not get paid more”. Michael Lachlan agreed and added, “I don’t see why they would. The top has to put in a lot of effort and a lot of cardio into a sex scene it is actually very tiring”.
Edwin Skyes added that it was pretty much a “myth” in the industry that a bottom would get paid for a scene.
Jonny Kingdom, who has starred in films for Blakemason and GuysInSweatPants.com elaborated on the payment for scenes, he said, “Most of us are self- employed and model fees are different for everyone”. However unlike the other stars, he also revealed that he does get paid more for being a bottom.
So whilst most performers don’t get paid more for the role they take in the scene, it’s not unheard of that a star could get paid more for being a bottom.
So recently I have been asking a series of questions ‘for a friend’ about anal sex and being a top, bottom or versatile.
For those that may no know, a top is someone that inserts their penis into another man’s butt, a bottom is someone who has another man’s penis inserted into his butt and a versatile, as you can imagine, does both.
I’ve always been a top but I have experimented being a bottom in the past. But before we go on can I just have a moan to tops out there. YOU WILL NOT BE THE ONE TO CONVERT ME. The number of times a top responds with “well I’ll do it with you and I’ll do it right” when I say I’ve tried and didn’t like it. Every top seems to think they are god’s gift to bottoming and I’m sorry boys but you are not. No one knows my butt better than I and believe you me, if it’s not going in, it’s not going in (protest all you like).
Now, where was I? Ah yes, are all tops lazy? Do versatile guys have more fun? Why do bottoms bottom?
Before I begin may I just say that this is in no way scientific. This is just a social media poll, on a whim, usually while bored on the train to London. I asked Twitter a series of questions and mine and THEGAYUK’s followers were kind enough to respond. In the first question, 88 people responded to the question ‘Why are you a top?’
Of those 88, 41% said it was because they liked a sense of dominance it gives them, 25% simply found bottoming too painful, 20% were fearful of an accident and 14% just saw bottoming as too much effort.
A little bit of a mixed bag there but 45% highlight issues with going down there (pain/potential for the mess). A couple of guys even messaged me directly sharing that concern about accidents down there and even just a lack of wiring for it. And I have to admit as a top I share some of that concern. Who teaches someone how to bottom successfully? Is there a class on how to douche? Certainly, no one has ever shown me so you either google it, use your imagination or go on what friends tell you (for douching at least). That be why, as a top, myself and a few of the other guys that responded, all shared a sense of patience and understanding for bottoms (especially if an ‘accident’ was to occur).
As for how to bottom, everyone’s advice is just to grin and go with it. But what does that actually mean? So, again on my way into work one day, I decided to follow that up by asking twitter the question “why are you a bottom?”
69 people replied and 54% said it was because it felt good, followed by 30% saying that they enjoyed a feeling of submission (and 14% said size concerns (too small) and 2% thought it was expected of them).
54% said that it felt good.
54%! As a top that has only every gotten pain from the whole experience (even after various methods) you do start to wonder if you’ve been wired incorrectly. I’ve seen partner’s eyes roll over in pleasure and that just baffles me. You clearly have something that I (and indeed 88 others) simply do not have.
Now for others that it also baffles they seem to get jealous and a little nasty about it.
And this is where bottom shaming comes it. Almost turning the term ‘power bottom’ into a negative thing that the person should be ashamed of. Well to those people I say bugger off. As a top that knows how painful it is, if you can get pleasure from that then you crack on my sweet and be proud. I’m mildly jealous and will give you my number.
;o)
We cannot all be blessed with the ‘g-spot’ it seems, and maybe that’s a good thing for world balance? If were all bottoms how would we get anything done?
But then that brings me to my next question that I decided to inflict on the good people of twitter. I asked people “do versatile guys have more fun?”
145 people came back to me on that one (so clearly they do). The majority 69% (teehee) said that yes they did.
And you can see the appeal. You can insert and be inserted into and get pleasure from both. It adds variety and spice to your sex life and means you can experience a wider range of feelings.
As for me, my mind is very much in the versatile space. In my head, I like the thought of a nice rogering as much as the next man but in reality, it just doesn’t happen. To tops (and indeed bottoms) out there that connect with this feeling in any way, I would say don’t feel like you need to be both. Enjoy what you enjoy and experiment if and when you want to experiment. Sex has always got to feel right and comfortable for you. If it
doesn’t don’t do it.
So it’s well a known fact that sex is an amazing way to keep fit. A good session can burn hundreds of calories, but who burns the most, the top or bottom?
So health experts suggest that we need at least 30 minutes of exercise 4 times a week and sex, yes sexy time, can count towards your fitness goal.
But which partner will burn the most calories? Does it matter whether you’re topping or bottoming?
Well, Superdrug has a website that can calculate how many calories you and your partner will burn during your session – whether you’re giving or receiving. It also helps you choose the positions which will work you out even harder – yes squatting as a bottom will burn you some serious calories… feel the burn.
So let’s say that your session last 40 minutes – and you do a bit of: 69ing, doggying, cowboying and finishing up with some missionary… who do you think will burn more, top or bottom?
If you’re the bottom you will have burnt a rather safe 151 calories, however, if you’re topping you’ll be burning a whopping 162 calories.
That’s the equivalent of running for at least a mile, 34 minutes of yoga, or over 2 miles of biking. We know which we’d rather do!
However, the bottom doesn’t always burn less calories, the following positions could see you burn through a mountain of calories: The cowboy, the reverse cowboy, a lapdance and the wheelbarrow, you could burn 230 calories- whilst your top would burn just 93!
If you’re a gay, bi or curious guy chances are you might be up for a chocolate starfish stretch… But when you do it for the first time, there are just things you don’t expect.
(C) BIGSTOCK
We asked our wonderful community what they thought about the first time they had anal sex.
The pain (Allie)
How tight my ass was lol (Jim)
The pain after banging my head on the table lamp lol (Jon)
The agreement that more lube is always a must. (Brad)
Can’t really remember I was drunk . (Jim)
d
It didn’t hurt like I was expecting it too. (Jordy)
It was a romantic and powerful moment for this power bottom! I felt fulfilled! (Bri)
The pain! Omg the pain!!! Felt like being stabbed in the stomach and the sh*tter all at the same time! I’ve honestly felt less pain standing on a plug (Craig)
How bloody selfish he was. And the size of his manhood. Ginormous (W)
That it hurt like f**k, literally. And that I only truly enjoy it once I’ve become comfortable with my partner. (J)
Not to laugh at the other guys sex noises while inside. (Matt)
That my boyfriend who was 100% straight liked it very much. (Q)
The ability to actually stay awake !!! (Sean)
How much overhype there is. I was so bored, and have been every time. (Sean)
That not everyone likes doing it to ABBA! (Graham)
Oh those clever bods at Superdrug have worked out how many calories you can burn during sex, if of course, you’re having sex.
Let’s say you and your boyfriend or FWB (friend with benefits) are 12 stone and do 10 minutes of doggie, 12 minutes of legs in the air, 8 minutes of reverse cowboy and end with a spectacular 3 minutes of holding your partner up, you could have burned off 142 calories for your 33 minutes of activity, not bad eh?
Want some advice on how to spice up some of your positions, check out these bad boys (NSFW)
That’s the equivalent of running 1.24 miles, 25 minutes of dancing or 37 minutes of yoga. I think we all know what we’d prefer doing.According to the website,
“Superdrug Online Doctors commissioned (Fractl) to investigate how people can use sex as a form of exercise. To determine the extensive list of positions – including their unconventional names and respective calorie counts for both partners – we reviewed “The Position of the Day Playbook” from Nerve.com. To add to its methodology, which lacked any reference to the duration of activity or weight of the individuals, we did further research on positions and calories burned.”
Now in our quick survey of the calories burned, it turns out that the receptive partner or the bottom actually usually burns less calories. So to keep up the calorie count, bottoms, prepare to go 2.0 Power-bottom and do more energetic positions like squatting, the cowboy and a bit of a lap dance.
