We’re all sticking to our knickers, the sun has come out to play and your plates-of-meat want to follow suit. You’ve put away your brogues, Converse and winklepickers – it’s the season to let your tootsies see some light. Out come the Havie’s, Prada sandals and the good old faithfuls, Muji flip-flops.
Your extremities are on display for all to see – basic grooming is essential so as not to repulse or alarm friends or potential mates with your unkept talons.
Here are three tips for you chaps:
1) Pterodactyl toes are a big no-no
If your toenails are longer than Caitlyn Jenner’s manicure, and you can not only scratch an itch on your chin, but clamber to the top of the Shard with said sharp appendages – get ya arse down to the reptile department at London Zoo. One of the keepers, shears in hand, will make light work of your prehistoric claws.
2) Smooth away crusty heels and flaky paws
If your feet look like you’ve been trekking up and down the Pyrenees barefoot for three months, and your heels have more cracks than Greece’s economy – not to mention the built-up dry skin that would make a rhinoceros’s feet seem velvety – book an emergency appointment at your local chiropodist. Failing that, nip down to B&Q and grab some heavy-duty sandpaper.
3) Say goodbye to hairy hobbit hooves
If you’re sporting more hair on your tootsies than your head, and you’d have breezed an audition for Lord of the Ring’s trilogy with ya plates-of-meat alone – it’s time to de-fuzz. Wax, shave or Veet: Middle-earth feet aren’t a look for any summer.
Peddyliscious feet mean more toe sucking, tootsies rubs and dazzling plates-of-meat.
I’ve lived in the Old Smoke since 1999 with a career in fashion, fitness and events. I discovered the joys of writing beginning of 2014. Since then I’ve been tapping digits to keys. Subjects include food, theatre, exhibitions, London life and other topics that tickle my taste-buds. Other publications include Timeout, Gay Times and So So Gay Magazine.