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When one straight identifying guy on Reddit said that the thought of having sex with another man gave him "butterflies in his stomach" but didn't he was "gay enough" to do it, people were there to guide him.

Is Sex different from Sexuality?

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When one straight identifying guy on Reddit said that the thought of having sex with another man gave him “butterflies in his stomach” but didn’t he was “gay enough” to do it, people were there to guide him.

Society problems?

So what’s really holding guys back from experimenting with someone of the same sex? This poster wrote that he had an image of him as a “straight guy loving girls” but his feelings go the opposite way – despite not having a specific crush on a guy.

He wrote,

“…I got an image of myself as a straight guy loving girls and my feelings go in the opposite direction. I love masculinity and want to be a submissive guy. I hate being dominant while/and having sex with girls. But I never thought of going in bed with a specific guy, I never had a crush on a guy. This is “not gay enough”.

So is he in love with the idea of being straight, but his heart is telling he’s gay, bi or curious? He wrote that he once tried a blowjob but felt deeply ashamed afterwards.

Society’s push?

This user suggested that society had its role in defining our sexuality and what is right and wrong, saying,

“That’s just society that has shoved that idea in your head.
“I felt guilty AF after I gave my first blowjob to the point where I ran away from my boyfriend (at the time)’s apartment and cried and threw up a bunch.

“You can get over that and become comfortable with yourself. I sure did, and it didn’t take too long.”

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Get stuck in

Another poster was a little more upfront with his suggestion

“suck some dick and see what happens”

What’s “Gay Enough” mean?

Another suggested,

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“If you’re a man and you want to have sex with another man, that makes you gay enough. You could be anyone from the most macho muscleman to the most femmy twink, and it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you want to have sex with another man. That’s all it takes to be “gay enough”.

“What’s wrong with you is that you’re holding yourself back from doing something you want to do. What you should do is have sex with another man.

Another chipped in

I’d recommend you just start experimenting. Take it slow, though, and make it clear that you’re new at this.

Bisexual? Pansexual?

This user pointed out that the OP might not be homosexual, but rather someone who is sexually attracted to all sexes and genders,

“Your [sic] probably bi or pan and have inner-homophobia from religion, family, culture, whatever. Go out, or on an app, be honest on those apps and guys, have some condoms and lube handy and have sex with men. Good luck, have fun.

Bottom line

One of life’s struggles is the journey to becoming comfortable with yourself, however, that looks. Although some may see you as one thing, you, in the end, get to decide how to define yourself and set those boundaries.

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As long as you’re not hurting anyone and everything is consensual, crack on we say and enjoy yourself.