THEGAYUK

Category: MEN’S HEALTH

  • This is the most dangerous sex position

    This is the most dangerous sex position

    Did you know you can actually break your penis (or your partners)? Yep and apparently there’s one position in which that can happen if you’re not doing it right.

    The position is called the reverse cowgirl – or in our books it’s the reverse cowboy and it’s been dubbed the world’s most dangerous sex position because it can lead to what’s known as penile fracture and if you think that sounds painful, apparently, we don’t speak from experience here, it is.

    According to one doctor, Dr. Karan Raj, this position is responsible for 50% of all penile fracture accidents.

    What is the reverse cowboy?

    The reverse cowboy is a sexual position in which the person who is receiving penetration (the bottom) faces away from their partner and straddles them, while facing in the opposite direction. The top lies on his back and allows his partner to control the movement and depth of penetration.

    This position is known for providing a unique and intimate view for both partners, and can be enjoyable for those who enjoy deep penetration.

    However, it is important to communicate with your partner and ensure that both parties are comfortable and consent to any sexual activity.

    So how does penile fracture happen in this position? Well, If the person who is topping accidentally slips out and then forcefully re-enters, it could cause a penile fracture or if the bottom sits on the penis at the wrong angle, this could also cause a fracture.

    What does a penile fracture feel like?

    A penile fracture is a rare but serious injury that can occur during sexual activity. It usually happens when the erect penis is forcefully bent or snapped, causing a tear in the tunica albuginea, which is the fibrous tissue that surrounds the corpora cavernosa (the two long, cylindrical chambers in the penis that fill with blood during an erection). By the way its extremely painful.

    The symptoms of a penile fracture typically include:

    1. A popping or cracking sound: You may hear a popping or cracking sound at the time of the injury.
    2. Sudden loss of erection: The penis will immediately become flaccid (not erect).
    3. Pain and swelling: There will be sudden pain and swelling in the penis, which may be accompanied by bruising or discoloration.
    4. Difficulty urinating: You may have difficulty urinating or notice blood in your urine.
    5. Deformity of the penis: There may be an obvious deformity in the shape or appearance of the penis.

    If you suspect that you may have a penile fracture, it is important to seek medical attention right away. Delaying treatment can lead to long-term complications, including erectile dysfunction and penile curvature.

    Picture from Men.com get your subscription here. This article was originally published in our partner publication, TackleMag 2023.

  • ADVICE | I have achy balls, what should I do?

    ADVICE | I have achy balls, what should I do?

    Dear TGUK

    I sometimes get aches in my left ball. I’ve done a check for lumps but haven’t found anything odd – or unusual. There’s been no blood in my pee or cum.

    The pain is like a dull ache that goes from the bottom of my balls to the pit of my stomach. It doesn’t last very long. Because it doesn’t happen all the time I haven’t been to the doctors about it, but wondering if I should.

    Paddy, Dublin

    Hello Paddy

    Re-occurring pain anywhere is a reason to get checked and you should see your GP for an examination. It could be something entirely benign or something more serious although from what you say you don’t have other symptoms.

    These are:
    A new hard lump on the testicle
    Swelling or enlargement of a testicle
    An increase in firmness of a testicle
    An unusual difference between one testicle and the other

    However there is no harm in being on the safe side and ruling this out by visiting your GP or GUM clinic and if it is anything serious, the earlier it’s caught the more effective the treatment. If you get a significant acute pain that persists in either your testicle or abdomen, you should see your doctor for urgent review.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like us to help you with? Click here to write to our team of experts.

    This article was first published in September 2016

  • ADVICE | Did I catch Herpes?

    ADVICE | Did I catch Herpes?

    Dear Jose,

    A f*ck buddy of mine has just told me he has genital herpes but says he’s never had it whilst we’ve had sex.

    Can I still get herpes if he’s not got an outbreak?

    Tim.

    Dear Tim,

    Genital Herpes is an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV), which can cause painful blisters in your genital area. It can be passed from person to person during sexual contact and is a long-term condition. The virus remains in your body and can become active at any time. HSV can affect any mucous membrane, any moist lining, such as your mouth – and can cause cold sores.

    So, unless he has an active herpes infection, that is visible lesions then it is unlikely that you will be at risk of contracting herpes.

    However, if he is infected he should be undergoing treatment. This lowers the risk of catching herpes even further but as the virus is transmitted by skin to skin contact I would recommend that you go and get checked at your local sexual health clinic.

    Using condoms or a dental dam (if you’re rimming) are great ways to further lower the risk of herpes, or other STIs passing from one person to another.

    There are various treatments for herpes you can buy online to help you with the symptoms. However, you may need a prescription.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Have you got a question for our experts? Click here to write to our Dilemma’s page.

  • DILEMMA | Do I Masturbate Too Much?

    DILEMMA | Do I Masturbate Too Much?

    A reader asks whether he playing with himself too much.

    Hi! I’m a 22-year-old and I’ve been really worried about something.

    A couple of months ago I attended some acupuncture sessions at college because I was recommended that I should do something about the pretty stressed life I was having. It turns out they use some Chinese method and it surprised me when one of the therapists told me that I had to stop masturbating.

    I can’t tell how on earth she did to figure that out, but from that moment on I started to feel that was serious. She told me it was necessary for me to stop because of something I didn’t get, something about one’s energy and stuff. Even though I didn’t understand her arguments, I had already had this feeling that perhaps I was “waxing my dolphin” too much. The thing is, I can’t help it.

    I’ve been trying to stop, but there always comes a moment when I just need to do it (I can do it twice a night). Sometimes I just can’t sleep at night and the only thing that makes me sleepy is self-pleasure. Is it that I’m becoming addicted to it? Is it wrong for my body, for my virility?

    Somehow I agreed with the therapist who told me to stop because she mentioned energy. When I masturbate I do feel nice, but I don’t feel as energetic as I feel I was a couple of years ago. I’m really worried; I no longer get the powerful boners that used to wake me up a couple of years ago.

    Is there any limit when it comes to masturbation? By the way, I have no boyfriend. My life is pretty busy. Thanks for giving me some advice.

    Jason, 22

    Hello Jason

    I think we should start by saying that masturbation is perfectly normal and almost everyone has had a go at some point. How often you decide to “wax your dolphin” is completely up to you and you shouldn’t feel you need to try and stop. There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.

    If it feels right and you’re not hurting anyone else, why deny yourself. FILE PHOTO: © ia__64 Depositphotos

    There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.

    Some of the problems you’re describing such as a lack of energy and no longer getting strong erections that wake you up could be related to the stress that led to you go for acupuncture in the first place. Overall there are no adverse affects from masturbating and if it’s something you enjoy then I think you should go for it.

    Jenna and Jake

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to speak to us

    This article was first published in December 2012.

  • DILEMMA | Piles ruined my wedding night… What can I do?

    DILEMMA | Piles ruined my wedding night… What can I do?

    Dear Uncle,

    I’m a newly married man. I’m suffering from piles. Can I have sex with piles? If yes how many times in a week I can have sex with piles?

    Concerned, 33

    Dear Concerned, 33

    Yikes, that’s a lot of butt sex questions. Piles are a pain in the ass, quite literally and I would recommend if you’re in pain or bleeding from your butt not having penetrative sex until they’ve all healed up. This doesn’t mean that you have to forgo sex altogether. There are a few ways to simulate anal sex for your partner, read about them here – and let’s not forget our friends the BJ and the humble handjob.

    We asked Public Health Practitioner Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth his thoughts on whether it’s safe to have sex whilst you have haemorrhoids and he told us,

    “Anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex.

    “If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though, this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely.

    “I would recommend using Preparation H or Germoloids (all available on Amazon) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling.

    Embed from Getty Images

    So, get yourself a good haemorrhoids cream and go to town on those bad boys, when they’ve healed up or disappeared from view then you can start reintroducing anal sex back into your life – but go slow and use lots and lots of lube. If you get a sharp painful feeling or see blood, stop.

    If the piles don’t go away after a couple of weeks, book an appointment with your doctor to see what they maybe able to do to help.

  • No, anal sex doesn’t cause piles

    No, anal sex doesn’t cause piles

    A leading doctor has revealed what can cause piles and how you can avoid them.

    Doctor Diana Gall, from Doctor-4-U, has revealed to THEGAYUK what causes piles and no, anal sex isn’t one of them.

    Dr Gall told us, “Piles, also known as haemorrhoids, are a common condition which anyone can get. You are more likely to get them when you are older, but they can occur at any time, regardless of age.

    “Piles occur when blood vessels inside or around your anus become swollen, creating lumps which are usually small, round and discoloured.  The most common causes of piles are constipation and straining too much when you go to the toilet. They can also be caused by lifting heavy objects or having a persistent cough.

    Can anal sex cause piles?

    The good doc continues, “Many people think piles can be caused by anal sex, but this is very unlikely. Though anal sex can irritate existing piles, so plenty of lube should be used to avoid as much irritation as possible. 

    How to avoid getting piles

    “While piles can never become 100% avoidable for anyone”, Dr Gall tells us, “you’ll have a much better chance of preventing them if you maintain a diet containing plenty of fibre-rich foods and drink plenty of fluids. You should, however, limit your intake of caffeinated drinks such as tea and coffee. Keeping your bottom clean and dry and using a softer alternative to toilet paper (like moist toilet tissues) can help a lot too if you’re frequently getting piles. Exercising regularly can also help prevent piles, but your diet and hygiene are bigger factors.

    What to do if you get piles

    If you do end up getting piles, then you’ll want to be able to identify relevant symptoms. The lumps this condition creates may or may not be large enough to come out of your anus. It depends on how severe your condition proves to be. If you can feel lumps or pain around your anus, then this is most likely a clear sign of piles.

  • If fingering your butt hurts, here’s what you need to do

    If fingering your butt hurts, here’s what you need to do

    If it hurts your butt when you get fingered, you should read on.

    The ass is pretty darn resilient and there’s a pleasure to be had from anal sex, but there are a few golden rules to make sure you keep safe and reduce pain.

    Hello Lube, my friend.

    via GIPHY

    Use a good amount of lube and have a towel handy that you can wipe your hands, as it can get quite messy. **That** scene in Brokeback Mountain – as hot as it looks, is just not that realistic. A bit of spit and shove isn’t going to cut it. Use a good lube – and there are a few to choose from on the market. You might find that you get on with some better than others. Try the trial or travel sizes until you find the perfect lube.

    Time goes by… Slowly.

    via GIPHY

    One of the most misleading things about porn is that you can’t just stick it in – and that includes fingers. You need to take it gradually. You could start off with a bit of rimming and then move on to a finger – then if that feels good maybe two. Don’t just go for it. You will cause yourself a lot of pain.

    One finger, two finger, three

    via GIPHY

    You could do a bit of prep yourself before sex. Perhaps while you’re in the shower – or if you douche you could get your butt used to the feeling of a finger or two up there before you get down with your partner. Using warm water to douche could help you relax as well.

    Cut those damn nails.

    via GIPHY

    You say that it hurts after fingering, are your boyfriend’s fingernails ragged? If he’s got claws that a Gruffalo would be proud of it’s time to invest in some nail clippers for him. He may be, unknowingly tearing your insides – which will make the whole experience uncomfortable.

    Smoothly does it

    via GIPHY

    Keep the fingering motion smooth and long and thin (goes right in). He shouldn’t curl up his fingers inside you – this is going to cause discomfort. No vigorous finger jamming like he’s Donald Trump giving a speech.

    You could always try a desensitising spray or lube.

    Does numbing lube actually work?

    Numbing lubes could be the way to know, but make sure you look out for sides for trauma and if you still fill discomfort, stop immediately.

    Anal Training

    Anal trainer

    You could go down the anal training route. There are anal toys that act like dilators, we call them anal trainers. They start from a small and thinner insertable that gently stretches your anus. When you get used to the smallest size you can go to the next size. Each time, take it slowly and use lube. Eventually, you should be able to take the largest toy, without too much discomfort.

    So to recap: take time and use lube.

    If you’re really concerned that there’s something wrong book an appointment to see your GP.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    *Disclosure links contained in this article point towards our very own shop, this was not a paid placement and there are other shops available.

  • What’s it really like to go for a sexual health screening

    What’s it really like to go for a sexual health screening

    So, if you’re someone who has sex, it’s important to go get tested.

    For some people, there’s a lot of anxiety about going to get tested at a sexual health clinic, but I’m here to let you know, sexual health services in the UK have come along in the last decade or some. So regardless of any the horror stories, you might have heard, here’s what actually happened the last time I went to get tested – which was last week.

    If you’re worried that medical implements are going to be stuck down your dick or up your ass or concerned that a bevvy of doctors will be taking a prolonged look at your squishy bits – you need to read on.

    I’ve recently moved to a new area and thought about checking up on the sexual health services area, after a quick look online, I found my local sexual health clinic and was able to book my appointment online.

    When entering the building, I was able to log in via a screen in the reception. Once booked in, I waited, perhaps 5 minutes before my name was read out – and I followed my nurse, Lesley, into a private office – where she checked my details, asked me a few basic sexual questions – like when was the last time I had sex – oral, anal and any other sexual activities which I had concerns about.

    She asks what brought me to get tested today and I tell her that I want to be tested for HIV as well as other sexual health screenings.

    I also ask her about getting the HPV vaccine – which she says is not a problem – she also suggests getting the Hepatitis vaccination. Which I agreed to.

    After that, we walk across the hallway to a treatment room – in which there was a urinal, a sink, a bed and a trolley of medical supplies.

    She asked me whether I wanted an oral and anal swab. ‘In for a penny’, I think and agree to both. She hands me a cotton wool bud in a long-thin plastic container and another small plastic container.

    kropekk_pl / Pixabay

    She leaves the room and allows me to, in private, pee in the cup and take my own anal swab, it’s really simple and you insert the bud about an inch or two inside you.

    I put the top back on the pee jar and the swab back into its plastic container.

    Next, after a few minutes, she reenters the room and takes the oral / throat swab, which again is another cotton wool bud. She says “it might make you gag…” I think, “not likely”. It doesn’t.

    She then takes a vial of blood, which is painless and takes seconds.

    She then collects the pee, the swabs and disappears from the room.

    Moments later reappears with the vaccinations, I’ve asked for. Hep A and B and the HPV.

    I have two injections in my right arm and the other in my left. All in all, I’m in the room for less than 15 minutes.

    There was no examination of my body, although I’m guessing if I went in with specific issues she would have taken a look.

    There was no sticking anything down my pee hole and no fingers up my butt.

    My swabs were all done by myself. Self-service!

    A week later a ping on my phone lets me know all my tests are clear.

    So please, don’t fret about going to a sexual health clinic. It really isn’t invasive and remember knowledge is power. Your health status isn’t something you should shy away from – and the best thing, in the UK, testing and my vaccinations were free thanks to the NHS.

     

     

  • Bleeding after anal sex: What you should do about it

    Bleeding after anal sex: What you should do about it

    Bleeding after anal sex can be just ‘one of those things’ and can happen on your first go round or your 100th – so to put your mind and butt at rest, here’s why it happens.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Anal sex can be an integral part of a sexual relationship, but not all couples do it – however, there’s a lot of wrong information out there about bottoming.

    Tiny rips happen

    Embed from Getty Images

    Your rectum is not self-lubricating, so unless you’re using lube, you’re going to be creating a lot of friction, which can cause the lining of the rectum to tear or rip a little, if this sounds hideous, it might be worth noting that most of these rips are tiny – and can actually happen outside of sex as well. These rips can cause bleeds – and most probably you’ve had bleeds but never realised it.

    It happens because the lining of your rectum is not as strong as your normal skin.

    Also, anal sex could also be causing what are known as anal fissures – which are tiny rips that can happen both on the inside and on and around your actual hole – especially if you’re not relaxed or have not loosened yourself up before the main event. These can heal all by themselves within a few weeks.

    The P Word…

    Another issue is the dreaded P word – yes piles.

    Bleeds may be caused by popping a pile or if we’re going to be medical about it, haemorrhoids.  Piles are completely normal and are the enlargement of a blood vessel that already exists inside your butt. You might not even know you have one until it pops during sex.

    Some people have visible piles on the outside of the anus, whilst some have them on the inside.

    There’s no evidence to show that having anal sex causes piles but it can inflame the issue.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz from THT told us, “So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.

    “So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.

    If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.

    When should go to the doctor about anal bleeding?

    If you are experiencing a lot of pain or prolonged aching after sex you might need to seek medical help. It is normal for there to be some discomfort for a day after, especially after your first time. However, if pain continues you should go and see your GP or book yourself into a sexual health clinic.

    If there is a lot of blood (think steady drip rather than a bit of spotting on your toilet paper) you should go and see your doc ASAP.

    Dr Shawn Khodadadian, a board-certified gastroenterologist in Manhattan, is cautioning people against ignoring rectal bleeding. He warns that rectal bleeding could be a sign of other, far more serious illness such as colorectal or colon cancer. He said,

     “as there are many possible causes and getting an early diagnosis is particularly important. This is because although rectal bleeding can be a symptom of haemorrhoids, colitis or anal fissures, it can also be a sign of a far more serious illness for example colorectal or colon cancer. These types of cancers can often be completely cured when detected early.”

    Your gonna need lube and lots of it

    So the best way to stop the friction is to use lube a lot of it. You can find out about the different types of lube here. If you’re having a long session – they don’t forget to keep reapplying the lube or use a silicon-based lube, which should last a lot longer.

    Remember, despite what you see in gay porn, you can just ram it in. You need to take your time, use lube and go an inch at a time!

  • What are these zits on my balls?

    Is it normal to have zits, spots or whiteheads on your scrotum?

    I have little whiteheads on my balls

     

    We asked Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori from Pharmacy2U whether finding little spots or zits on your ball bag is something to be concerned about.

    Dr Nitin told us, “You can get rashes on your testicles as you can any other part of your skin” and they are often caused by anything from blocked pores to allergies or heat irritation.

    “If anything, this area is a bit more sensitive so treat it with care,” Dr Nitin adds.

    Apparently, shaving can often cause spot like symptoms as could using a new body wash or new washing powder for your laundry – so if you have a break-out see if either of these could factors.

    Also, when the weather turns humid this can cause rashes through sweating.

    Dr Nitin says, “You need to ensure you wash regularly and properly dry yourself before dressing as rashes love moist, damp places! If you shave you need to keep the area clean afterwards”.

    But rashes can also be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease warns Dr Nitin, “if it (the zits) don’t clear up, do go and see your GP or local GUM clinic just to make sure. The majority of STDs can be treated quickly and efficiently the earlier they are diagnosed.

    “You can also get an STD testing kit online if you just want to put your mind at rest and rule that out”

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

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  • ADVICE | If I can’t handle a finger, how will I manage a dick?

    ADVICE | If I can’t handle a finger, how will I manage a dick?

    A reader asks advice on whether he’ll ever be able to have anal sex, especially as he finds it uncomfortable fingering himself.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK

    I find it quite uncomfortable when fingering myself and i get sore from it. I actually want to try being a bottom but since I can’t handle fingering I don’t think I could do it with another person, what do you think I should do?

    Ty, 18

    Dear Ty

    Everyone’s ass is different and so is its ability to take various sized objects. Barring any medical reason, like anal fissures or piles it sounds as though you just need time and practice. As you’re quite young, the odds of you having fissures or piles is quite slim, but not impossible. If in any doubt you should definitely book to see your GP or visit to a sexual health clinic, who will be able to give you a sexual health check and you can discuss any issues you have.

    In your letter, you didn’t mention whether you use lubrication when you try and finger yourself. If not, you should invest in some lube – but if you’re not in a situation where you can buy lube there are alternatives. There are, however, some liquids you shouldn’t use as a lubricant – these include body lotions and shampoo as these will irritate and potentially make your insides feel like the gates of hell.

    If you can’t get hold of proper lube, it’s best to use a natural, unperfumed oily liquid. When you’re just by yourself there are a number of lube substitutes around the home that you can use, like olive oil, coconut oil, vaseline and aloe vera gel – none of these are good to use during sex with a condom. They will destroy the integrity of the condom. Always use a lube designed for condom usage.

    Also, make sure you cut your nails and smooth them off. It’s important not to have jagged nails as you could catch your insides and cause a tear or rip internally.

    Time is your friend

    The trick with taking anything larger than a finger is time and patience and you should communicate that with anyone you have sex with. Don’t feel rushed into taking the D before you’re ready.

    A word to the wise, it probably will hurt the first time you bottom for someone – and the chances are that you won’t be able to take it for very long either, but with time and practice (either by yourself or with a partner) you will be able to take it for longer and longer.

    Most guys can’t bottom for that long – even though porn can make it seem that they’re taking dick for hours at a time. It’s just one of those unrealistic expectations that gay porn has given us! Most guys cum within minutes of starting penetrative sex, a study found that men can last anywhere from 1 minute to 10 minutes, so you don’t need to be an ass athlete. You can always ask your topper to stop as well. Your body your rules.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    By yourself, after one finger, there are two fingers. Some people may want to try experimenting with various fruits and vegs, but there are some issues with using anything that doesn’t have a flared end. Without the splayed bottom it could disappear up inside you and that’s where problems can really begin. Ideally, you should try and buy a dildo or butt plug designed for ass play.

    Take your time

    There’s no rush – and when it comes to the actual sex take your time. If you’ve got time to prepare, you might want to douche (where you use water to get rid of poop in your anal canal and rectum) and lots of foreplay. Yes, get your guy to rim you and play and finger your butt.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Have you got a sexual or emotional dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here to send us a message.