Author: Jake Hook

OPINION | Banning homophobes from stadiums is not the answer

Apparently, there’s a school of thought that if you hide something under a rock or you stick a head in the sand, the problem goes away.

Except it doesn’t.

So this week there’s been a lot of talk about banning homophobes from sports’ arenas and stadiums if they shout anti-gay, homophobic, biphobic or transphobic abuse and I’m flabbergasted. Since when did banning anything actually solve any problem?

And who exactly is the banishment going to help?

Whilst I agree that something must be done to solve the anti-gay culture that you’ll find on many of the UK’s sports’ grounds. This toxic environment means that gay or bisexual sports stars and athletes find it impossible to come out – why are there so few openly gay or bisexual sportsmen and women?

But isn’t this part of the problem? There’s a complete dearth of out and proud athletes in sport, particularly men. There’s a handful of noteworthy sports professionals in diving, a sprinkle in rugby and absolutely none in football. Perhaps if we had more out and proud players homophobic fans would be exposed to other types of gay or bisexual men – not just the overtly camp fodder that entertainment formats on TV rely on to provide entertainment. Some could argue that stereotyping feeds into a homophobic mind frame. Gay and bisexual men, still in 2017 aren’t seen by some as “real men” but campy, effeminate and weak and these people need education. We are all types, shapes, sizes, colours and creeds – and all of us are worth protecting.

Organisations that own the grounds have a responsibility to keep its patrons safe but it does not, I believe, hold the remit to educate or punish people with bigotted opinions. That responsibility lies with the police and society. Homophobes need education. Not the naughty step and time out.

That’s why I would advocate an anti-discrimination workshop for those who are found guilty of hate speech – whether it’s gay, religious, race or other hate speech. These classes could run just like the speed awareness classes – when you’re caught speeding.

You’d pay £100 for the class, money which could be ploughed into running the courses. On that course, you’d be given the opportunity to learn about discrimination and it’s damaging effects. You’d learn about equality and other lifestyles. Once you’ve completed the course you’d be allowed back.

Surely this would be a better option than banning a homophobe indefinitely and letting him fester in his own hatred, as he watches the match in front of his TV. How does this help the LGBT+ community?

It doesn’t. Instead, he’ll continue to live in his own echo chamber, feeding his own negativity.

I agree with MP Damian Collins, who chaired the Culture, Media and Sport Committee who found that there should be “a zero-tolerance approach to the use of all homophobic language and behaviours”, but the sanctions that are implemented against those who are homophobic must be thought out as to not exacerbate the problem.

Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

17th February 2017
INTERVIEW | Jennifer Saunders

Ab Fab started life as a sketch on the French & Saunders show on the BBC back in 1990 and changed campy comedy forever. A year later the pilot aired and was a huge critical success. After ve series and several specials, Jennifer Saunders’ slams on to our screens with the legendary Joanna Lumley for the brand new Absolutely Fabulous film.

TGUK: Is it true that Dawn French made a bet with you that you wouldn’t finish the script for the movie on time?
JS: Oh, that was about the writing of it. We were live on radio and she said, ‘What are you doing next year?’ I said, ‘I’m going to write the Ab Fab film.’ She said, ‘Really?’ I said, ‘I’m going to write it.’ She said, ‘Alright, if you haven’t written it by the time we do the next New Year’s Day radio show, you have to pay me £10,000.’

TGUK: Did you do it?
JS: I did just about do it (laughs). I did hand her about 90 pages, though most of it just said, ‘Blah blah blah.’ But there was a sort of kernel of something.

TGUK: But did that help you finish it? Are you a deadline junkie when it comes to writing?
JS: Yeah, completely

TGUK: But you can’t improvise like that with a film. So did it feel different writing a plot for a movie version?
JS: I didn’t think I’d be able to write a 90-minute plot. A plot is the hardest thing, and a plot is the thing that makes it very different to a TV show, because a TV show is very much half and hour of pantomime, where you chuck in as many gags as you can. You don’t really need a beginning, you don’t really need an end; you just need the credits to roll at some point.

TGUK: Obvious question but in what way is it different?
JS: The thing that is totally different is the fact that you are required to make people care, because they’ve got to sit there for 90 minutes. That was the hardest thing – to make people care and give them something to look forward to all the time, looking forward to the next act or whatever happens, and some kind of story. It’s the thing that changes it from the TV show the most, too, because there’s a lot more downtime, and there’s a lot more exposition. It doesn’t feel the same as a TV show, and I think that’s the biggest difference people will notice about it, is the fact that you can’t keep that level of energy up for 90 minutes – it’s got to have moments where you discuss the plot. It’s a completely different thing, really, and also we’re at a completely different time of our lives, so it has to be about where they are now. And they’re not at the kind of height of their game; they’re actually on the decline, a little bit, but we hope it’s not going to be a sad one.

TGUK: But it’s still essentially Eddie that we know and love just that she has fallen on hard times?
JS: Yes. Edina is becoming more and more desperate and that’s sort of exhibited in the fact that the house is now enormous beyond belief. She’s drained every ex-husband of every penny they’ve ever earned and she’s still doing it, we don’t know how – some deal. But her PR business has really gone downhill – she’s got, as ever, Lulu, Emma Bunton and Queen Noor (laughs), and they’re not working that much. So this comes as a sort of massive blow to her that she needs money that she can’t take Patsy to The Wolseley. She doesn’t know what’s happening, she has to send all her Net-a-Porter back. And so she tries to get a book deal and she tries lots of different things, and obviously tries to get Kate Moss, because that would be her moneybag for the rest of her life, but it all ends sort of miserably. She thinks she’s become everything she’s tried her whole life not to become; now she’s fat and old. All she’s never wanted to do is to become fat and old and now she suddenly looks at herself and goes, ‘Here I am, fat and old.’ But it ends on a positive. It doesn’t end on a downer. It can’t ever, because they’ve always got to get away with it, and they’ve always got to have a new scheme.

TGUK: What sends them off to France?
JS: There’s an incident at a party where she pushed Kate Moss off a balcony, and she’s accused of killing Kate Moss – that little detail (laughs) – and so the paparazzi have appeared. That’s something she’s wanted all her life, to be famous. And now they’re here, all she wants is to be anonymous, and to not have them there, photographing her and hounding her like an animal. They’ve always had this dream, Patsy and Eddie; whenever they were in trouble, they’d go, ‘One day we’ll join the jet set. One day we’ll live the Martini advert. That’ll be us. We’ll have guys that drive planes and boats and wear pastel coloured cashmere jumpers around their shoulders and crocodile shoes.’ I think going to the south of France is really about retreating into that dream of luxury, which, unfortunately, sort of doesn’t exist. I mean, it does, but it’s all a bit tacky now. There isn’t a sort of beautiful lovely jet set, there isn’t a sort of Ava Gardner- esque thing about anything anymore. Everything is heavy disco euro-trash music and obscene money, and so everything they’re looking for doesn’t quite exist. They sort of retreat into the past a little bit.

TGUK: You first wrote Ab Fab back in the early 1990s but they’re very resilient characters. In your industry, you must meet them all time?
JS: All the time! They’re still going on. I keep thinking, ‘Surely there’s other ways of doing PR,’ but it’s still the same. Honestly, it’s quite extraordinary. The other day I got a really unusual massive invitation to some party and I thought, ‘I thought those days were gone.’ I thought everything was done by the Internet now. But still this ridiculous thing came, like a Rubik’s cube, an invite to some fashion show, and you just go, ‘I can’t believe it’s still happening.’ I suppose as long as there’s products, there’s going to be PR.

TGUK: Would you go on a night out with Edina and Patsy?
JS: I think they’d be horrible. They’re so into each other, in a way, and into their own little world. I don’t know how much actual fun they’d be. I’d be them going out for a night – that would be much more fun. To be Edina and Patsy going out for a night would just be fantastic.

TGUK: You’ve never done that?
JS: No, no, no, never. But I think to actually be with them on a night out would be ghastly! It would be ghastly, because someone at some point would have to go, ‘Now, stop, come on, that’s not a good idea.’ You’d be the person having to say, ‘Just get in a cab and go home.’ ‘No, we’re going to party on! We’re going somewhere else. We’re going to have a great time. She loves me.’ They think the world loves them when they’re drunk, and I think generally people see them coming and go, ‘Oh Christ.’ But that’s as it should be (laughs).

This interview was taken from Issue 21

Ab Fab the movie is available to buy on DVD now.

8th February 2017
INTERVIEW | Danyl Johnson, Whitney stopped me halfway and said, “No, that’s not how you sing it”

He’s noted as being one of Simon Cowell’s all time favourite auditionees, but the public interest in Danyl Johnson wasn’t, sadly, just about his singing talent during his time on the X Factor. It was all about who he was or wasn’t having relationships with. Within weeks of his first appearance on the show, the press had made up their mind that he was bisexual and that he fancied all four of the judges, Dannii, Cheryl, Simon and Louis. THEGAYUK’s editor Jake Hook took some time to talk with Danyl about one of British TV’s most awkward moments (the time that Dannii Minogue seemingly outed him on live, national TV), why Whitney Houston was not impressed with him and why having a dog helps you when you’re single.

Jake: So, since the X Factor, where have you been? What have you been doing? What’s going to be happening in 2017?
Danyl: I think Donald Trump is going to be taking over the world. It’s a different world in 2017. I think everyone thought 2016 was going to be tough, but 2017 looks even crazier.

Since the show? It’s been seven years, which is crazy to even think that it’s been that long. It’s just we finish the show, we go on tour, we play our own shows.

I thought, ‘I need to go and find myself’. Normally when people want to do that they want to go to India but I thought I wanted to nd myself musically and see what I was doing so I decided to go to Nashville and just work with some amazing musicians and some really good music people, people that I like, not just randoms.

I did that for a little while, came back, played some more shows. I was bouncing around record deals with some lovely little labels and things just didn’t come together. Especially when you do a show like X Factor, it’s such a platform and you do get skipped to the head of the queue. Sometimes when you get skipped to the head of the queue, it doesn’t mean your name’s on the door. It can be a little bit of, “ugh, God another one of those people.”
I just felt, not lost, but just kind of like, “What am I doing?” It was really easy for me to just play shows. Because of what Simon said, about me on my audition, it has systematically made me still work to this day, which is lovely. I cannot really complain about that.

Jake: Obviously, Simon Cowell was incredibly nice, he was very, very complimentary about your voice…
Danyl: Yeah, crazy.

Jake: That must mean quite a lot to a singer to hear that, but when you see someone like Honey G getting praise off someone like Simon Cowell, does it diminish what he said about you?
Danyl: It does at times. The thing is, everyone gets really uptight about these, the enjoyable acts, but they’ve always been in the thread of X Factor. They have always been there. From Chico to Jedward, to Wagner to Honey G right now. They’ve always been there. The X Factor is not just about singing,
it’s about having something that people are talking about. Undeniably, every single person is talking about Honey G. I’m not pro-Honey, I’m not anti-Honey, I just understand what she’s doing. I was very close to Jedward in our year, we saw some of the most horrible hate thrown towards them and that was before Twitter was big, and we felt like they were like our little brothers.

It is really hard when someone is getting pelted. They have no say about anything and all these people are like, “Why is she here? Why is he there? Why are they there?”.

Jake: Would you ever consider doing something like Celebrity Big Brother or I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here or something like that?
Danyl: I enjoy watching them, and I think that it is good trashy entertainment. Who doesn’t like to just sit there and watch TV programs like that? I’m not the best when I’m tired and hungry and I feel like they do that to you to get a rise out of you, and then sometimes there are slightly antagonistic people on the show and they can truly press your buttons. I don’t know if I could do that to my family again. You never know how it’s going to work out. Then you have to deal with the fallout of it. I kind of like being the forgotten person of X Factor a little bit and people remember one or two things about me. Maybe my audition or maybe a performance, or Dannii Minogue. To maybe ruin it by doing another TV program, scares the hell out of me.

Jake: Can we talk about the Dannii Minogue thing? I re-watched it the other day, and it’s probably the most awkward moment of British television… ever when she suggested that perhaps you should have changed the gender references in the song you were singing to male pronouns. It was a tumbleweed moment. Very awkward. What was that moment like for you?
Danyl: I’ll tell you a tiny bit of the back story… I’m singing, “And I am Telling You” from Dreamgirls, I actually haven’t ever seen the musical or the film or knew the song that well, but they thought, “Guy singing a girl song, perfect”. Ultimately the line is “You’re the best man I’ve ever known.” In the newspapers, my sexuality had already been completely and utterly microscoped. [There were] so many stories about who I was dating or not dating. I remember saying to Dannii’s people, ‘should I sing the actual line?’ They said, ‘do it’.

In my mind, I was thinking if it was week seven, maybe, but as it was week one, so I sang, “You’re the best girl I’ve ever known”. People are very open-minded these days, but it’s live in front of a lot of people.

Dannii said what she said. I felt like she never did it on purpose. I don’t think she felt like she had done anything wrong; because of that reason, I cannot really take it to heart.

Now a lot of people have rewound that moment. There was so much speculation about what I said underneath my breath. So many people thought I said, “F*ck off ”. But I was a primary school teacher, so I wouldn’t say that on live TV. I said, “I’m not ashamed”.

That night Stephen Gately (Boyzone singer) died…

Jake: I remember. So what happened between you and Dannii?
Danyl: I went down to Dannii’s dressing room the next day, no one was there, everything was o because everyone was completely devastated. She was a bit upset, and I said, “What’s the matter? Are you okay?” She apologised to me. She was reading stuff on Twitter and someone tweeted, “Every time you out a fairy, another fairy dies.” That stays in my mind and why Dannii was upset. It was like my life was the weirdest thing.
A couple of months beforehand, I’m in a classroom teaching kids, then one moment I’m standing in Dannii’s dressing room watching her reading messages on Twitter. It was the most surreal moment ever. It was never intentional. It was taken completely the wrong way. I didn’t really take it to heart. I don’t think it’s the same story in her book, but oh well…

Jake: Was it tough for your family to have your personal life splayed out on the front pages of national papers?
Danyl: The one thing that I found the hardest and my family found the hardest, is they [the press] try to completely decimate any niceness that I had in me. It’s tough if you’re ever depicted as not a nice person, for whatever reason, no matter what you do. The one thing I know is I never ever spoke back. I never was disrespectful. Behind the stage, I might be upset, but in front of people, I just held it together.

Family wise, I think they just slowly, slowly saw me not be me at all. If I could go back in time I would whisper in my ear, “It’s not real. Just go out. Just take it for what it is.”

Jake: Is it easy to turn o knowing that people are saying stuff about you?
Danyl: You can’t stop it. It’s like kids on a playground. You cannot stop it. They’re going to say anything, but if you can switch off for a bit. If I knew there was an article in the newspaper coming out I would just stay o social media. I just wouldn’t look at it. People liked to come to me about it, but I just wouldn’t look at it. I think sometimes we are so sensitive as people in this day and age, we are so sensitive, and there’s some really horrible hateful things that people say, but you know what? It’s just words. I can block you. Or I can send you a smiley face.

Jake: So just don’t engage with it?
Danyl: I love freedom of speech. If you don’t like something that’s fine, now that we live in a day and age where people write it down, I don’t know what that’s going to mean in the next 5-10 years for people who have done that. I think it may come back on them. I think that that may stop people from getting jobs. There are companies who want to have your codes to go and look through your Facebook. You only find that out later.

I think there’s a lot of education that needs to happen with social media, I think that the whole world is a little bit slow on it. I love social media. I love it. Like you, you must love it as well? It’s instant gratification. You put out an article and you see if people love it or hate it.

Jake: Do you know what? The bigger we’ve become, the more criticism we’ve got.
Danyl: 100%. And… they would never say it to your face, they would never say it. If they did, well done. I feel like I said, I like people’s opinion. If you can split opinions, have people that love you and people that hate you, you’re doing okay. The worst thing to ever be is to be stale and everyone is a bit indifferent. You have to have people that hate you to have people who love you. The only way it ever works.

Jake: We are living in those times. If you look at big commentators of the moment, you’ve got Katie Hopkins, we’ve got Donald Trump President Elect. Who is one of those people who can whip up a storm in a sentence, or even a Tweet sent at 3 AM in the morning.
Danyl: It’s hilarious. You can write a Tweet right now, or on your page, and you could be in the national news tonight if you wanted to. That’s the power of all of it. It’s weird because people do hang on to things. If you want to be like Katie or like Donald or anyone like that, you want to be those people, it is easy to do it, but you need to be able to fight back. You need to have the answers back as well, and these people are up there because they systematically have answers. They know what they’re saying. Right or wrong, by the way.

Jake: Okay, right. Let’s talk about the biggest pop moment for you on the show… Whitney Houston.
Danyl: Yes!

Jake: Obviously, she was known as a massive diva and I imagine was probably someone that you were quite keen to meet?
Danyl: Who wouldn’t?

Jake: She wasn’t a fan of your take on a song of hers, was she?
Danyl: No! I got given, “I Didn’t Know my Own Strength” which was o her latest album.

Jake: Did you choose that song or was it chosen for you?
Danyl: I had never heard of it in my entire life.

Jake: Okay, right… Did you get a sense of what the song meant to her?
Danyl: No sense of what that song was about at all. I listened to it and got a taste of it, it’s really di cult for anyone to sing a diva song. Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, any of those people, it’s really di cult to sing their songs, especially if you are male. For you to be able to do any justice to these songs, I only know, and knew in my mind, that I am not a classic singer. I am an entertainer that can hold a tune. When I get given the ballads like Whitney, it doesn’t sit naturally for me. Obviously, I try not to be too di cult and so I say, “Okay, I’ll give it a go!” They may be right and it may be a fantastic choice.

Anyway, we’re at the Dorchester [hotel] and Whitney is in the room and I’m the last of the day and kind of feel already like it’s not going to go well, so I was like, “Oh crap!” so I sang the song, and she just wasn’t impressed. In any part of it. She stopped me halfway and said, “No, that’s not how you sing it. You sing it like this.” She then sang it to me. Whitney Houston is in front of me singing me a song. People pay millions for that to happen.

Jake: Did you feel it was a bit of a stitch up?
Danyl: I felt a little bit let down and a little bit left out to dry, but it’s just a show. You have to remember with these shows, it is not about you, it’s about a TV show. As soon as you figure that out, it’s fine. You’re standing in front of a legend like that and no matter if you get on or not, it doesn’t take away every single thing she’s ever done. It doesn’t take away the fact that I’ve been in a room with her and I sang for her. She is a legend. I just wish I could have sung a different song. Obviously, it’s good TV if Whitney Houston is unimpressed.

Jake: Yeah. Another awkward moment of television history.
Danyl: That was week 2. Week 1 was Dannii, week 2 was Whitney Houston, week 3 I was in the bottom 2!

Jake: Okay, moving on from the X Factor. Who’s the person you most admire in life?
Danyl: Probably my sister. She’s always been kind of grown up, even though she’s my younger sister, she’s actually like my older sister. Don’t tell her I said that, but there’s an element of maturity and she’s always there [for me]. Even though families have disagreements and that stuff, you always come back together. She’s a great mum and even when things are tough she still pulls everything together. If I ever become a parent I would definitely take a lot from her. She’s super awesome, but an everyday person that I know and can connect with.

Jake: What age were you when you came out to your family?
Danyl: I was 17.

Jake: Did you tell your parents first? Who was the first person you told?
Danyl: Probably some boy. (Laughter) Probably my sister even though she was young. She was mature enough to just be like, “Okay”. I told her and, I have been really, really, really, lucky on that front. Friends, family, work colleagues, no one’s cared.

I have friends that haven’t come out now and they’re older and they haven’t told their parents and I’m like, “How come you haven’t told them?” They’ll be like, “We’re just not that close”. You know what? What a great way to be close, and to actually let them into your life. Even if they find it a little bit di cult, I’ve always said that if your mum or your dad told you that they were gay, would you be okay with it straight away or is it going to take you a little bit of time? You have to think about it the other way. Sometimes it can be a shock. Sometimes it’s not obvious. Especially if you are gay. You’ve got loads of girls hanging around you, you’ve got Spice Girl posters up in your room, your dad thinks you’re a stud (laughter).

Jake: How old do you think you were when you first realised you were gay?
Danyl: So young.

Jake: Really?
Danyl: 8? 9? I didn’t see too many differences between boys and girls. I remember just not fancying people much because I was way too young, but I was very tactile as a kid. I would hug everyone, from my best friends, girls, I was just a tactile person. I have been since I was born. Then, nothing happened, but in your mind, you start thinking in a slightly different way.

Jake: Was that di cult for you? That’s quite a long time, from 8 to 17 not to talk about it. Did you talk about it with friends or did you keep it inside?
Danyl: I guess I did talk about it. It’s one of those things that you grow up, and it’s not talked about, it’s just is what it is. Everyone is experimenting, especially at a younger age. There’s always outlets, and this is what’s scary now this day and age. I think you can just figure out yourself and you can do it in your own time, and now these days there are so many means. There are so many ways to be able to chat with people and people understand you, but then there’s a pressure with it. I didn’t give a crap what I looked like until I was about 16. I didn’t care. I just put on clothes and went out of the house. These kids don’t feel like that anymore.

Jake: What would a 16-year-old Danyl Johnson be like now, with selfies?
Danyl: I feel like, what we are doing is we are trying to value ourselves by how many people tag, like, share, message, all that stuff. We evaluate ourselves on that stuff. I don’t know why. If we actually say to each other, “Why are you doing that?” You would say, “I don’t know, I have no idea!” There were some days where you go, “I look okay” so I can take a little cheeky picture for Instagram, I can manipulate it as much as I want, and that’s what I look like in my profile picture today. At the same time, I do feel pressure. Beforehand, I probably wouldn’t have cared, I wouldn’t have bothered. There’s an element of still being in the public eye, there’s an element of making me feel like, “Oh he’s let himself go!”

Jake: If we do stories on the site like, “Guess what he looks like today”, people love those stories. The craziest one was Charlie Hunnam, from Queer as Folk. Obviously, it must be difficult for someone like that when they’re introduced to the public consciousness as a really young, very cute, very twinky guy and then he grows up into a man and he has some wrinkles and he has a beard, and people lose their sh*t over it.
Danyl: It automatically makes all of us feel old as well. I remember sitting in my bedroom watching Queer as Folk with the sound down and being like, “This is what my life is going to be like.” I totally binged all of that.

Jake: (laughter)
Danyl: I feel like I tried to be like Stuart, but I’m just sh*tty. I cannot do one night stands. I’m particularly sh*tty at doing that.
I cannot just randomly hook up with people. I have to actually know them and know their middle name, and know what school they went to and how many brothers and sisters they have. It’s just f**king stupid stuff. I think I can name every single person I’ve ever slept with. Their surname and what their dog is called. Just because I need to have a background on people. I cannot just sleep with weird people.

Jake: There’s the perception about the gay community that many of us are sex crazy. Even Robbie Williams was quoted in Attitude saying he wished he was gay because then he could have sex on tap. It sounds as though you’re not that kind of person…
Danyl: I’ll probably get in trouble for saying this, but if you are a woman you can get sex whenever you want. If you are a gay man, you can get sex whenever you want. If you’re a straight man, you can’t. It doesn’t work that way. There’s a control with it. The majority of women like to be wooed and I feel like I’m a little bit like that too, I like to be wooed. Not like presents or anything but conversation and I like it if they’re into the same things as me. That is what really gets me going. At the same time, if you do just want to have sex, and you’re gay, you can.

Jake: So you’re a relationship man?
Danyl: I’ve only just come out of a relationship myself, and not in a horrible way, we still talk, but there is a loneliness when you’re not in a relationship. I have a dog, so I bypass that a little bit because I always have company and I can get out and go for a walk.
I don’t know if I came up with this myself, maybe I didn’t. I’m a sports person. I support my local team winning. If we could treat our long-term partners like we treat a football team, we would never break up. You never stop supporting your football team. No matter if you lose 10 nil every single week for a year, you would never stop supporting them. You would be annoyed with them, you’ll be angry with them, you might not want to talk about it, but you would never stop supporting them. If we could nd out what that little bit of whatever is, and put that into relationships, we would just all be happier, I feel. Relationships are work. If people think it’s not, then they’ve never been in a proper relationship. It is work. It doesn’t have to be hard work, it’s just work. You have to put the effort in.

Jake: Are you back on the dating scene or are you taking time out for yourself?
Danyl: At this moment I’m talking to some lovely guys and I’ve been on a few dates. I am still single. It is a scary thing to jump back into the single world and it’s a scary thing because I jump in with two feet.

Jake: Obviously you know what it’s like before fame and after fame to date someone. Is it ever weird?
Danyl: I’ll tell you what is quite funny – none of them mentions it.

Jake: Really?
Danyl: None of them mentions it at all. When we go out I will probably be stopped and probably have someone say, “Oh my god what are you doing here? Oh my god can I have a picture?” Then I look at my date like, “Did you know?” They’re like, “Yeah, I knew, I just didn’t want to say anything.” I went on a few dates with an actor before I did X Factor, and I couldn’t get it into my mind being okay with all the attention on someone else. I’ve been out with some people and some of them nd it so hard to be the person that’s ignored or to be the person that has to hold the camera. It’s the hardest thing.

27th January 2017
6 ways to get better night’s sleep

Are you finding it hard to get to sleep at night?

CREDIT: Dmytro-Sidelnikov-bigstock

Everybody functions better after a good night’s sleep and the medical profession have long suggested that 8 hours of sleep works best for most people, but what if you’re caught in an insomniac cycle. It can be one of the most frustrating things in the world as the rest of the world sleeps, your mind is working overtime and sleep feels ever so elusive.

Here are 6 tips to help you sleep better.

Earl Sandoval from healthandwellnessfacts.com suggests,

A change Of diet

Avoid caffeine at all costs. That doesn’t just mean from coffee, there’s caffeine in so many products, including tea and many soft drinks. Even chocolate. Earl suggests foods such as “bananas and Cherries contain tryptophan, potassium and magnesium which are muscle relaxants and thus good for sleep if taken 30 minutes before bedtime”.

Make your bedroom a sanctuary

A peaceful night’s rest comes from an uncluttered mind. So make your surroundings uncluttered. Keep work out of the bedroom, that includes emails. Why not leave your mobile phone out of your room. If you charge it at night, put it in another room. Don’t forget some mood lighting.

ALSO READ: How I saved £12,000 by giving up alcohol

Exercise

Earl says, “One study found that insomniacs who picked up a regular exercise routine slept better, felt less depressed, and had more energy all day. If working out at night interrupts your sleep, squeeze in a morning run instead. Give yourself enough time to cool off before bedtime.”

Make dinner a light meal

Don’t go to bed full of food it can make you feel very uncomfortable and bloated. Do you know how much energy you use to digest heavy meals? A lot and all that energy could disrupt your sleep patterns. If you’re having trouble getting off to sleep and getting up in the morning it could be to do with heavy meals that are taking a toll on your body.

Sex

Earl says, “Good sex can enhance sleep for both male and female. Men and women usually snap off to a sound sleep immediately after sex.” Why? Well, after sex a chemical called oxytocin is released. This helps with and promotes restful sleep. Hurrah.

Lights out

Try and get your room as dark as possible. Light from TVs, phones or even night lights might send your brain signals that it’s time to get up. Earl says, “Note that even a small amount of light from your cell phone or computer can disrupt the production of melatonin (a hormone that helps to regulate sleep cycles) as well as the overall sleep.”

27th January 2017
I saved at least £12,000 on alcohol by giving it up

I recently celebrated my third Christmas and New Year’s Eve without alcohol and it got me thinking about the money I’ve saved since giving up drinking alcohol.

I didn’t give up drinking because of money but it certainly hasn’t hurt my bank balance after I discovered that I’ve saved over £12,000 since giving up the alcohol.

I became a non-drinker in the summer of 2014 after a working out that alcohol was doing nothing for my mental health. After suffering a series of extraordinary panic attackers, leading me to some of the darkest moments of my life, I wondered if drinking had anything to do with it. It turns out that it did.

Over two years later, my anxiety is manageable and rarely keeps me up at night. It’s the biggest gift I’ve ever given to myself.

So apart from the biggest gift, what else has no alcohol given me?

Well, I’ve not spent over £12,000 on alcohol. So how did I come to this staggering number?

Here’s how: I eat out probably twice a week, and have a glass or two of wine – let’s say £6 per glass (they were always large) that’s £12 per meal twice a week – that’s £24, also ready I’m £1,248 better off.

Then there was the at home drinking, yep, I think I could easily sink 5 bottles of wine a week. So let’s get those priced up at £6 per bottle that’s £30 per week – that’s £1,560 per year and I’m already at £2,888 per year. That’s not considering birthdays, Christmases, New years and holidays where much more would be consumed.

So where the rest of the money?

How much do you spend on a night out? If I went out one night a week (who goes out just once!) there’s no doubt that I’d spend at least £70 on drinks in an evening (London prices). So let’s add that up… that’s a whopping £3640 per year… and don’t forget the cabs homes, at least £360 per year and the dirty kebab, which I’d probably have 20 times a year – £130. This element of my evening just no longer exists. I drive instead of public transport and cabs and because I’m not drunk I don’t crave the dirty kebab.

Now not spending at least £6448 per year on alcohol. So what am I drinking instead, well some soft drinks when I’m out, which cost a third of the price and I don’t drink nearly many of those as I did glasses of wine, you actually can’t.

So what am I drinking instead? Well some soft drinks when I’m out, which cost a third of the price and I don’t drink nearly many of those as I did glasses of wine, you actually can’t.

At home, I drink water – with a squeeze of lemon. The cost of which is pennies per week.

Then: Glasses of wine with meal £6 x 4 = £24 x 52 weeks = £1248
Now: £1.50 x 4 x 52 = £312
Then: Bottles of wine a week £6 x 5 = £30 x 52 weeks = £1560
Now: Basically free, unless I have soft drinks which never exceeds £10 per week. Let’s say £520 per year.
Then: Drinks on a night out £70 x 52 = £3640
Now: £20 x 52 =£1040
Then: Cabs from a night out: £30 x 12 (at least) = £360
Now: Nothing
Then: Dirty Kebabs: £5 x 26 = £130
Now: Nothing
Total: £6938 per year take away the differences: £5,066
Over 28 months that’s £11,820.

How did I give up? Well, I owe it to this book: Allen Carr’s No More Hangovers, which took me a morning to read. The best £4.99 I’ve ever spent.

25th January 2017
11 songs every gay guy was dancing his tits off to in 2001

Ah, now we’re going back… Do you remember dancing your little crazed head off in Heaven/ Dot Cotton / Revenge / Mission / AXM in 2001?

2001 was a classic year for pop. These were the songs if you were a disco bunny, that probably had you throwing your Smirnoff Ice all over the dance floor. Wanna listen to the mix – go to the bottom of the page for the Spotify playlist.

It was a DIVA Year

Snakes suddenly became sexy.

If you were a real teenie bopper then Atomic Kitten was your groove.

Janet Jackson had this little (monster) hit.

Were you a survivor? We loved Beyoncé and her backing singers.

Before she was Jenny from the Block then JLO and back again… She was just plain old Jennifer Lopez. No Lo or Block to be seen.

Although it wasn’t as good as the original… It is Geri…

Then there were DIVAs multiple – in one freaking song.

Then there was the British invasion from Ms Ellis-Bextor.

Did you have one? Obviously, we’re as pure as the driven snow.

And then no 2001 list would be complete without a Steps’ song

20th January 2017
TRAVEL REVIEW | Glamping In Yorkshire

A million stars looked down upon my boyfriend and me, as we gazed into the endless night sky. If you’re looking to get out into the wilderness and can’t quite pull off that Bear Grylls’ ruggedness, then perhaps Glamping should be your next holiday idea.

Right in the middle of rural Yorkshire is the stunning Camp Kutur, miles from any city. The days are still and silent and the nights are awe inspiring. As you gaze into the night sky, with the fire’s embers glowing softly as you sit on your private decking, you’ll feel like you’re at one with nature, but not too at one. Set in hundreds of acres of private land of the Camp Hill estate, Camp Kutur has just a handful of different accommodation options including Teepees, Unidomes, Hobit Pods and Geodomes. We were lucky enough to stay in one of the gorgeous Geodomes for two nights at the tail end of September.

The Geodomes are a spacious tented space, set on the forest’s edge, with a clear front overlooking the rest of the site. They are self-contained units, with a comfy double bed and seating area as well as a log burner. It’s all very very cosy. Outside there is a kitchenette and it’s own private toilet and shower. At the front of the Geodome is your own private decking area, complete with bar-b-que and a warming wood burner for those nights with a chill in the air.

On the site, there’s also an eco spa and sauna, although these come at an extra cost.

Glamping has almost become synonymous with hen parties, let’s face it. There probably isn’t a girlfriend of yours that hasn’t been on a glamping weekend and gone on and on about the rugs, the tea lights and the overall cosines of their yurt. Well, boys, I’m here to say it’s everything they said it was and we whole-heartedly approve.

A quick word of warning, despite it being glamping and there are the comfort extras over and beyond an ordinary campsite, it is still back to basics where tech is concerned. There is no electricity and no WiFi. So if you’re a techno junkie, you won’t be able to charge your devices or log onto the web. You may want to check with your phone’s network provider to see if there is 3 or 4G in the area. But if you’re looking to cut off be truly DND (do not disturb) then this is your haven.

Geodomes start at £80 (Oct/Nov) per night and a minimum of two nights booking is required.

10th January 2017
20 things you know if you’re a gay boy from the 90s

Ahh the nineties…

1) Your first visit to “the scene” was a huge huge deal. And once you got there it was like heaven.

2) You had to, had to, have the curtain hair style and if your Mum was cool you were also allowed a step.

3) You screamed when Britney came on.

4) You screamed when Take That came on.

5) HIV and AIDS were scary AF and the memory of this advert still haunted us…

6) You had to watch Will And Grace.

7) You had to watch Queer As Folk – the UK.

8) Fila. That. Is. All.

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9) You knew all the moves to Vogue… and then some.

10) You knew all the moves to Wannabe and then some.

11) Bleach was your go-to hair product.

12) Double denim was okay and socially acceptable.

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13) You knew that Spice Girls and All Saints was a full-blown war.

14) B*Witched was a thing and it was cool AF.

15) You drank this… for some reason.

16) Your music news came from Smash Hits and CD:UK.

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17) You probably had a Gaydar account.

CREDIT: GayDar

18) You listened to Banarama on one of these.

19) Kylie had a weird patch… but you still loved her.

20) Beautiful Thing gave you life goals

7th January 2017
4 cities you totally need to visit in the Midwest

Travelling to America as a gay man you probably think New York, South Beach or San Francisco, well we recently had a little vagaytion to America’s Midwest and we uncovered some wonderful gems.

CREDIT: Jake Hook

View from the John Hancock centre. 96 floors up.

Springfield
CREDIT: Jake Hook
Springfield’s capitol building.

Springfield is the state capitol of Illinois and the political heartland of the state. Every street corner is bustling with political back channelling, clandestine meets and poll rigging… We may have just made that up, but we’re absolutely certain people were talking about The Good Wife. Politically speaking, Illinois is one of the epicentres of US politics, which boasts two Presidents who lived in the state, Abraham Lincoln and Barrack Obama.

CREDIT: Jake Hook

Rub the nose of Lincoln, it brings good luck

Whilst you’re there make sure you visit the Illinois State Capitol building (pictured above) and breath in that political air, Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum, the Oakridge Cemetery, where Abraham Lincoln’s tomb is located, (don’t forget to rub the nose of his statue, it’s supposed to be good luck) and be sure to grab yourself a hot dog on a stick at the Cosy Dog Drive in.

CREDIT: Jake Hook

You might be surprised to know that Springfield has its very own gay bar, Club Station House – a very friendly affair. On the night we stayed we sang Rick Astley karaoke – the locals had no idea who he was, but they clapped all the same.

CREDIT: Jake Hook

Stay at the gorgeous State House Inn, but here’s a tip – ask for an odd numbered room. They’re at the back of the hotel – and you shouldn’t be disturbed by the Juggernaut trains that slice through the city at 3 AM in the morning – horns blaring.

Chicago

CREDIT: Jake Hook

Obviously, no trip to America’s Midwest would be complete without a stay in Chicago. From an LGBT perspective, it’s got two incredibly friendly neighbourhoods – the more youth orientated Boystown and the slightly maturer Andersonville. Of course, there are many gay bars to visit and street festivals to try out, but one particularly sensational event to try, is the Andersonville Annual Midsoomarfest. If you go a stranger, I promise you won’t leave without making friends.

CREDIT: TheGayUK

When you’re in Chicago top attractions include: The Tilt – a glass enclosure which tilts you out over Chicago, 94 floors up the John Hancock centre, Navy Pier – where you can book an evening cruising on the sleek Odyssey cruise boat and watch as the sun sets on Chicago’s famous skyline, take in a few paintings at the Art Institute of Chicago and if you’re feeling brave – splash out on a helicopter ride overlooking the entire beachfront of the magnificent city.

As with all major cities make sure you make time for a river cruise and perhaps catch something at the theatre – perhaps the Blueman group and avail yourself of some Chicago pie. It’s like nothing you’ve ever tried before.

Indianapolis

CREDIT: Jake Hook

Outside Illinois state, in the state of Indiana, you’ll want to try and visit the state’s capital city, Indianapolis, famous for amongst other things the Indy Car Race Track. If you’re around March through September make sure you catch one of the 16 races – and join over 300,000 spectators who revel in the high-octane Indy car racing. If you fancy something a little slower then try a Sedway riverside tour. Honestly, as you take a Sedway tour along the river, you’ll think you’re in a different time altogether – as it looks incredibly futuristic. It’s no secret that Indianapolis’s culinary scene is booming, ask any city-dweller the best place for eats, and they’ll gladly reel off a list of great places. For one of the most incredible meals, you need to dine out at St Elmo’s Steak House and try the Shrimp Cocktail.

Indianapolis is home to a number of gay bars and spaces and has one of the highest attended LGBT Prides in the US. If you’re looking for a spot of entertainment then a visit to the Talbott Street Nightclub is a must. They regularly host special events which often feature the gals from RuPaul’s Drag Race.

For more venues visit our guide page.

Galena

CREDIT: Jake Hook

If you’re a fan of the fly/drive holiday then you’ll want to check out the Great Lakes Facebook page, where you’ll get lots of ideas for glorious cities, friendly towns and exciting hot-spots to visit whilst you’re in the area. One such find is the ridiculously beautiful town of Galena. Around 3 hours west of Chicago, you’ll drive through miles and miles of farming land – the Midwest is known as the breadbasket of America – because of its wheat production and you’ll certainly see a lot of it.

The roads are easy, wide and once outside the city limits mainly free from traffic. You can forget the M6 or M25. Galena is a different world altogether and as you enter through the town’s giant floodgates (it sits on the Galena River which feeds into the almighty Mississippi River) you’ll be left wondering if you’ve actually stepped back in time.

Home to just under 3500 people, the town has an incredible friendly laid-back appeal. You must stay in one of the gorgeous, unique suites at the Jail Hill Inn – owned, operated and lovingly restored by the Inn Keeper, Matthew Carroll. Fill your boots at the wonderfully authentic Vinny Vanucchi‘s Italian restaurant. To really get your orientation in this quaint historic town buy a ticket for the Galena Trolleys – which depart from 10 AM until 9 PM. Your guide will take you on a whirlwind stop of this picture perfect town.

If you’ve a head for heights book yourself on to the Balloon flight experience – and see how beautiful the Midwest countryside is from the sky. As you float several thousand feet up let yourself drift with the wind – who knows where you’ll end up next.

1st January 2017
9 things every gay man needs in his bedside drawer

What’s in your bedside drawer? Is it full of random stuff? You know, the kind of stuff that you just don’t know what to do with? Clear it all out and make sure you have these 9 essential items in your nightstand.

CREDIT: CC0 Public Domain / Pixabay / Unsplash

Condoms

There’s no point in having your condoms in the bathroom in a completely separate room from where all the action is happening. Make sure your condoms are right in grabbing distance. Even better so that you don’t ruin the flow of your night put them under your pillow. Also, don’t forget to stock some non-latex condoms. Some guys may have a negative reaction to latex.

Even if you’re in a long-term relationship and don’t use condoms anymore, it’s always good to have some in stock if you both decide to have a third/fourth or fifth round. Make sure any rubbers you have are still in date.

Lube

And don’t just have one type of lube. Have a variety. As they say, variety is the spice of life. Depending on what you’re doing you might need different lubes. If you’re using condoms make sure you’re using silicone or water-based lubes, if you’re going bare you might prefer a more oil-based or buttery lube. If toys are your thing you should use water-based lubes.

The gay man’s Kama Sutra

Want to up your bedroom game? Get this book to give you ideas and some insightful tips on new positions. Wow your partner with some new moves with the gay man’s Kuma Sutra.

Breath mint

Worried about morning breath? There’s nothing worse than breath can peel the wallpaper off from fifty feet. Pack some mints in your bedside drawers. Then pop one in first thing if you’re planning for a morning bonk.

Pad and pen

Ever wake up in the mid of the night with the world’s most amazing idea and completely forget it by the morning? Keeping a pen and pad by your bed is key to collecting all those midnight memories. Also if you’re not sure you’ll remember the name of the person you’ve just gone to bed with you can always jot it down!

Glasses

If you need glasses keep a set by your bed, especially if you like reading or watching TV last thing at night. Also, comes in very handy if you need to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

Some toys

Sex toys deserve to be placed near to where the action is going to take place. That way you can seamlessly integrate them into your sex life.

Come rag

Yep. When the business is done, don’t go searching high and low, have a rag on hand to clear up all the mess. Also can be great to have a cloth or scrap of material to place used toys or condoms on ready to clear up in the morning.

Bio-Oil

I know this a random choice, but it’s a perfect night oil for your face. Wake with softer more youthful skin. This is a grooming product I absolutely swear by.

19th December 2016
6 ways to get rid of your moobs

Moobs. Dear god just how do you get rid of them?

Did you know that moobs – the man boob, is actually called gynecomastia in medical circles? According to the Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine, it impacts around fifty percent of all men.

We share some advice to help you get rid of those man bumps that have been bugging you.

Lose some weight

Sorry guys but some weight loss is necessary if you want to see those man boobs disappear. After all, they are made out of fatty tissue. Depending on your body type you might not need to lose that much – half a stone – if you’re currently overweight could be the perfect start to seeing a noticeable reduction.

Cut out drink

Cutting back on alcohol can help you reach a moob-free existence. According to Drinkaware.co.uk, some pints of beer contain around 250 calories per pint – which is the equivalent of a small bar of chocolate. Meaning that in one night’s drinking you could be stacking on an extra 2500 calories. Ouch!

Alcohol can also reduce the amount of fat your body burns for its energy.

Drinkaware’s website warns,

“Our bodies can’t store alcohol. So when you drink alcohol your body wants to get rid of it. All of your body’s other processes that should be taking place, like burning fat, are interrupted while it does that.

“To burn off the 180 calories you’d find in an average pint of lager (4% ABV) a typical man would have to spend: 13 minutes running on the treadmill or playing football; 15 minutes cycling or 20 minutes swimming or half an hour on the golf course.”

Get your clothes right

If you’re looking for a more ascetic rather than fitness approach to hiding your chest maybe you could take a look at your clothing. Thinner fabrics will highlight the outline of your chest. So opt for chunkier fabrics like flannel or wool. Great for the winter time, not so good if it’s in the height of summer. Shirts are also good to hide a bigger chest rather than t-shirts. Opt for more rigid cuts using thicker material.

Get spanx

Not just for women, you know. Spanx has a variety of contour control garments like the Zoned performance V-neck t-shirt, which comes in black and white. Very slimming and gives you a great silhouette.

Exercise

CREDIT: curaphotography-bigstock

Getting friendly with a bench press will help shape that chest to a more masculine form. Matt Plowman, nutrition and supplement advisor from Cardiff Sports Nutrition says,

“Mixing HIIT training with weight training and plyometric moves will enable you to burn more body fat. Reducing fat will restrict oestrogen (it’s) a great combination for this problematic area. You can reinforce these efforts by increasing the protein in your diet, this isn’t necessarily about taking protein supplements, although this helps, it’s about making smart choices to eat lean protein sources and green vegetables.

“Taking supplements such as Glutamine and Carnitine will also enable the body to burn fat more efficiently. We recommend taking a protein powder 30 mins prior and immediately after your workout to take advantage of the anabolic window and build lean muscle.”

He suggests the following exercises:

Push Up – You know what a push up is!

Plyo press ups – Get yourself into a press-up position, and lower yourself onto the floor, as you come up, explosively push yourself up powerfully so that your body and hands raise up off the ground – clap your hands as you are off the ground if you feel brave!

Elevated Push Up – elevate your feet using a bench or box, lower your down counting to 3, and raise yourself back up. Be sure that your back doesn’t sag at any point. As your strength increases, you can wear a weighted vest.

Deadlift – stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and place your hands on the bar shoulder-width apart too. When you start your arms should be straight and knees slightly bent, keeping your chest and head up, pulling up the bar, driving down through your heels and push your hips forward until you are standing tall.

Dumbbell Bench Press – Lie on a flat bench with your feet flat on the ground and a dumbbell in each hand using an overhand grip. Press the weights straight up driving your heels into the ground and lower them slowly.

Get medical

There are a number of medical procedures that are available to reduce and claim to get rid of your excess chest fat. There’s the VASER Liposuction which is performed at The Private Clinic of Harley Street by Dr Dennis Wolf. In the treatment, which starts from £2,800, a patient’s fatty tissues are liquefied with ultrasound energy. The fat is then removed through a gentle aspiration process. The procedure is performed under local anaesthetic, while you’re still awake meaning that recovery time is much shorter. Dr Dennis Wolf has performed 1,800 VASER liposuction procedures.

13th December 2016