THEGAYUK

Category: Comment

  • Is There Life After Gay Porn?

    Is There Life After Gay Porn?

    Well in our very casual and unscientific survey we discovered that there is not one single answer. The majority of them just simply disappear back into anonymity and sadly many of them do not physically survive.

    Arpad Miklos, Eric Rhodes, Wilfrid Knight and Roman Ragazzi all took their own lives, and in Ragazzi’s case it was after he had been exposed and after lost his job at the Israeli Consulate. Others like Josh Weston lost their lives to complications from HIV. In fact, in 2013, the number of suicides or deaths of those in the gay porn industry under the age of 55 exceeded a dozen, which is more than twice the annual average. Some sadly like Christopher Luke McAteer aka Clay at Corbin Fisher who shot himself are as young as 18- years old.

    Also several of them like Bobby Clark, Phenix Saint, and Trevor Knight ‘retire’ very publicly and then are back on our screens before we can say ‘safe sex’. Others do however find a whole new life waiting in their future, and we tracked down a few of them to see how they were coping now they were fully clothed.

    Jake Floyd aka Jake Genesis didn’t return to the police force when he retired, he just turned to God instead. However after Joey Santiago had been worshipped as ‘Gustavo Arrango’ he went one better and became a Priest at the House of Prayer Monte Santo in Puerto Rico.

    Colton Ford made a sort of successful transition from porn to pop star. He covered Stevie Wonder’s Signed, Sealed, Delivered with a dance mix that went to be no. 9 on Billboard’s Hot Dance Club Play chart. Fredrik Elkund aka Tag Eriksson who went from being a successful businessman in his native Sweden to become a top international porn performer, then parlayed that into becoming a top real estate broker and a star of Bravo TV’s Million Dollar Listing NY.

    When Shawn Loftis aka Collin O’Neal hung up his jockstrap he became a teacher in Miami before his past was revealed to the authorities, today he has a successful new career as an iReporter for CNN. Kevin Hodge aka Hytch Cawke also became an educator and was the Head of the English Department of a School in Massachusetts until the local FOX TV station publicly exposed his past, which promptly ended his career.

    Gay-for-pay Kurt Wild ‘retired’ after his wife gave birth to their fifth child. Now he is a full-time father and he says, without a trace of irony, a wildlife photographer too.

    Britain’s own Aiden Shaw dominated gay porn in the ’90s with both his massive personal endowment and his clever novels and memoirs, and then at the age of 47 became a silver-fox high fashion menswear model.

    Tom Judson aka Gus Mattox career path is completely unique. Judson was a successful musical theatre actor and performer who transitioned into a porn star when he was in his 40s, which is usually when others are making their exits. He made a big splash for two years picking up a GayVN Performer of the Year before putting his clothes back on for good. He can often be found performing his own one-man musical, Canned Ham in theatres that talks about his life as a naked star.

    ALSO READ: PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: Shooting My First Porn

    ALSO READ: Does my boyfriend watch too much Porn?

    We did however find several porn stars trying to see what life would be like if they just drop the word ‘porn’ from their job title and turn their hand to acting in more mainstream movies. It’s a big jump from screaming out ‘give it to me big boy!’ to quoting some soliloquy from the Bard so luckily most of them do the crossover in baby steps plumping for roles in movies that won’t stretch their talents too far.

    Plus many of them opt for parts that demand they are naked for at least one scene to remind us all what their greatest attributes still look like.

    Dylan Vox aka Brad Brenton was one of the stars in the TV series called The Lair which doesn’t totally count as a complete break with the past as it is the story of a gay sex club run by vampires who are into sucking more than just necks of the cast (of mainly porn stars) who have somehow forgotten their clothes along the way. The plots are also as soft as the sex.

    Vox fared better in Longhorns a very likeable romantic comedy although it seems like the director must have been worried that the audience may feel that the plot was a little thin in parts, so he had most of the cast proudly dropping their trousers just in case our attention was drooping. Since then however, he has had a steady stream of roles in B-movies from The Asylum Company who specialise in ‘mockbuster movies’. These are films that are released to coincide with those of mega studio epics in order to capitalise on the hubbub surrounding the big-budget movies such as Hercules Reborn that preceded Hercules starring Dwayne Johnson. They may never qualify him for an Oscar but Vox did get one good review ‘he pretty much steals what little thunder there was to steal’ wrote a critic, and it is after all work on the silver screen, and he does get to keep his clothes on.

    The heavily inked Frankie Valenti aka multi-award-winning porn performer Johnny Hazzard was another (ex) porn performer who also appeared in The Lair, then went on to put in a surprisingly impressive performance in a lightweight movie called Tiger Orange which is about to be released on VOD. On the strength of this one role film and with his new T-shirt company Valenti wants us, and himself, to completely forget his xxx-rated movies so he declined our invitation to interview him for this article.

    Sean Paul Lockhart aka Brent Corrigan aka Fox Ryder has gone one better than his peers and after a brief but intense career as a vivacious porn star, he moved into mainstream movies both in front and behind the camera. True his first ‘legit’ role was in the very questionable Judas Kiss a gay sci-fi movie, which features a plotline where the protagonist had sex with himself. Corrigan did, however, fare better though in a melodramatic gay thriller called Truth, and even with its howler of a script, he turned in a memorable performance. Then in 2013, he directed himself in Triple Crossed a rather inoffensive gay thriller/romance for which he at least deserves an ‘A’ for effort.

    François Sagat the rugged French porn star with a tattooed scalp followed bit parts in two mainstream horror movies Saw VI and ‘L.A. Zombie’ with a starring role in Man At Bath, which thanks to Sagat’s wooden performance was probably one of the worst movies we sat through in 2014.

    Thankfully for all of us he has subsequently retired to focus on his own clothing line.

    This article was taken from our PORN ISSUE (13) July 2015 and now forms part of our Being A Porn Star Series.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | 10 things to look forward to (or maybe dread) at Birmingham Pride

    OPINION | 10 things to look forward to (or maybe dread) at Birmingham Pride

    This year’s Birmingham Pride which celebrates 20 years of the parade as we know it, promises to be the biggest ever, and the stuff they have organised certainly speaks volumes.

    Here’s my handy guide to just some of the things to look forward to over the weekend of Pride.

    1. The Vengaboys.

    Yep you read that correctly, our favourite guilty pleasure of the 90’s are appearing at Birmingham Pride on Sunday the 29th on the main stage, so you can re-live your Hooch (or Blue Nun) fueled dance routines, while wearing a mask to protect your identity and coolness obviously. One can’t actually be SEEN watching and enjoying The Vengaboys now can we…

    2. Willam Belli & Latrice Royale.

    Two of the greatest queens from RuPaul’s Drag Race have been booked for the Saturday (Willam) & Sunday (Latrice) and I for one am so excited about this. Willam will be in the Cabaret arena, and Latrice is appearing at the Village Inn. Honestly I’d just be happy to watch Latrice laughing for an hour.

    3. Liberty X.

    Work it a little, get hot just a little and dance along to the fabulous Liberty X on the Saturday on the Main Stage. After Kevin’s success on The Voice, he’s rejoining his band mates to get our little gay asses dancing to some fabulous tunes from the early noughties. The band is also appearing later in the evening at The Nightingale Club

    4. One half of Erasure.

    Luckily the singing half of Erasure, Andy Bell. We all know A Little Respect and you can dance along with him on the Sunday on the main stage. For us gays born before 1995, Erasure was the campest thing we’d seen, and it was amazing.

    5. Vicky Jackson.

    The brilliant and talented Vicky Jackson who sings her heart out at every performance and impersonates some of our favourite artists including Katy Perry, Pink and Amy Winehouse will be gracing the Cabaret stage on the Sunday. I’ve never been disappointed by what she does, and even had the pleasure of performing on stage with her once

    6. The random acts.

    Sometimes you can find a hidden gem performing in the various bars and clubs around the Gay Village that you forgot about seeing on the line-up or who was booked last minute. A couple of years ago and during a slightly (OK, very) drunken moment, I walked into one of the bars and saw this little ginger Liverpudlian singing away, and loudly announced during a quiet bit in the song “Is that f**king Sonia?” (it was) I got a smile in return.

    7. The Parade

    Always a great start to the weekend, the actual march itself is something amazing to see, with so many varied people taking part and having the time of their lives. You can’t help but smile at the floats and the shockingly hot men in skimpy shorts.

    ALSO READ: What to take to pride. The Pride Survival Kit

     

    8. Being around people like you.

    The whole weekend is a brilliant opportunity to just let loose and be yourself. There’s going to be 80,000+ people there, from bears to drag queens, you will find people you relate to and you’ll find yourself having the most random conversations with people you meet
    outside the bars, clubs and arenas

    9. The Gale – Or The Nightingale Club to be precise.

    The biggest gay club in the village. It never fails to deliver, and this year Alesha Dixon is appearing there to perform her own and Mis-teeq’s tracks. But if you don’t want to see her, it has multiple floors with various styles of music.

    10. Something for everyone.

    There’s so many different types of acts that you would be hard pushed to NOT find something that you can enjoy. From DJ’s to pop royalty, there is going to be something there for you, so kick back and relax with a beer in hand trawl round the various stages and clubs with your friends old and new

    The full line up is available here and while tickets are limited now, there are still some available, and you can get some on the gate on the day. But be aware it’s going to be incredibly busy that weekend.

    https://www.theticketsellers.co.uk/tickets/birmingham-pride-2016/10038743

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Is Binge Watching The Future Of TV?

    I’ve recently found myself slipping into an alarming condition – binge watching. I know, I know, it’s hardly life threatening in terms of health…but if left unchecked, could be relationship threatening!

    Ok, let’s start at the beginning – what is binge watching? According to the Oxford Dictionary, it’s a verb (that’s a “doing” word – all that education wasn’t wasted) and originated back in the early 1990s with terms like binge drinking, binge eating, etc. Binge seems to be something we add to words to make them sound bad, or as a warning.

    So, back to binge watching, where we define the phrase as watching multiple episodes of a programme/series in one sitting. Netflix did a quick survey back in 2014 and found that 73% of its viewers defined it as watching at least 2-3 episodes in a single sitting, typically of the same series – and this is my definition too.

    It’s only right that Netflix is mentioned as it feels like one of the main “suppliers” to binge watchers worldwide – think about it and pre-streaming, the only way to binge watch was to buy the physical DVD or (even further back) video.

    Now, however, things have changed substantially and we have Now TV, Amazon Prime, Netflix, and lots more streaming services coming online that supply us with what we want, when we want it – entire series of programmes in a single sitting, immediately.

    So what’s the appeal? Why do we do it? How did we lose that glorious anticipation we felt when we were so into a new series, we couldn’t wait for the next episode – but did?

    Let’s be honest, there are some series so popular that they aren’t released as a series in totality – whether this is due to contractual restrictions or simply to keep you coming back next week, it doesn’t matter. We can still have access to the entire back catalogue and enjoy classic moments in between new episodes – yes “Game of Thrones”, I’m looking at you.

    So, while I love the concept and appeal of fresh episodes each week – think “The Night Manager” – I also love the feeling of making a new discovery or reacting to a recommendation and watching as many episodes as possible to keep that theme or storyline going.

    As an example, I missed ‘Looking” when it first came out but based on friends recommendations and the fact that Murray Bartlett (Dom) is a cutie-pie with a nice bum, I bought the 2 series available via iTunes and binge watched them. I couldn’t stop – simply because I’d found characters that I liked (mostly) and storylines that interested me and I now owned both series so had access to watch as much or as little as I wanted. My addictive personality meant that 2 series lasted about a day and a half, but what a glorious day and a half!

     

    I’ve found myself doing it with other programmes too – am part way through season 2 of “How To Get Away With Murder” (OMG!) and me and my partner are watching a couple of episodes per evening rather than watch TV. This is after watching season 1 via Netflix in a couple of sittings. This is where binge watching comes into its own – it you haven’t watched this programme, its a complex murder mystery played out over a season, with multiple characters and storylines interweaving and, if I’m honest, I would have lost the plot if I’d had to wait too long between single episodes. But by binge watching, I was able to keep on track and really enjoy the series.

    I can’t help but feel that our viewing habits are changing enormously and this has to have an impact of the future of TV as we know it. On demand and catch-up play such a huge part in my current viewing habits – and it would seem, in the lives of my friends (on and off line).

    I recently asked a simple question across my social media platforms and got the same answer. The question? Do you binge watch? The answer – a resounding yes, but for a variety of reasons. These ranged from sheer boredom to catching up on a series you’ve missed, or re-watching an old series you love.

    My reasons for doing it? All of the above! I work from home mainly and as this can be quite lonely and quiet at times, like to have some noise on – I dislike radio, and as a control freak (of sorts) don’t like someone else choosing my music or chatter, so I like being able to put something on in the background and dip in and out between emails, spreadsheets and WebEx’s.

    I recently watched 8 series/seasons of The Big Bang Theory while involved in a soul-destroying admin task…some may say watching a single episode is soul-destroying but I quite liked the canned laughter and jokes.

    So, the upshot is that I feel binge watching is becoming the norm and a good way to play catch-up for series you may have missed or been recommended by friends/family. As more of us change our lifestyles and work patterns, the traditionally way to view programmes has to change too and, so far, its not doing too bad a job.

    Got to go now, there’s 7 seasons of Buffy on Netflix and they ain’t gonna watch themselves…

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OP ED: In The Bar Of A Tokyo Hotel By Tennessee Williams Lethal Lounge Lizardry!

    Ever felt the fabulous joys of faux-suicide? Ever wanted to? Arguably, Peter Pan said it best; ‘To die will be an awfully big adventure’. Damn right.

    No wonder gay art-gods galore have jacked, inhaled or orally abused hardcore narcotics and been half in love with easeful death. And, truthfully, what’s not to like? What paltry social thrills can possibly beat the incomparable rush of cheating death by mere micrograms again and again? It’s faux-suicide as a bizarre, repeat leisure option, the manic craving for ultimate euphoria trumping possible fatality every time. An intoxicating, irresistible dynamic, it’s one squarely shaping the brilliant, barbiturate addict core of an incomparable gay dramatist – Tennessee Williams. Time and again, Williams’ protagonists ache for a transcendent escape, and time and again, mundane necessity intervenes.

    But forget clichéd preconceptions of blowsy, theatrical transvestism, of Tennessee ventriloquising unresolved angst and frantic, female denials of time and lost desirability via his leading ladies. The real Tennessee, as acclaimed director Robert Chevara’s astonishing revival makes clear, is as savagely modernist as uncompromising, enfant terrible Sarah Kane. Especially, post-1957 and a chance, street-walking meeting with gay maverick author Yukio Mishima, Williams’ language became a forensic instrument of lethal brevity. Or, more probably, the meeting simply reactivated a pre-existing precision; Williams’ first play, Not About Nightingales, has a demotic bite worthy of Harold Pinter.

    So forget Blanche Dubois’ ‘kindness of strangers’; this set-up’s as brutal as a gangland massacre, with no baroque, hothouse excess in speech or decor. A ravishingly raked, minimalist set comprises a full-length bar back-stopped with disquieting, lava-lamp patterns in queasy motion. It’s an aptly sinister, imminent emotional killing field for William’s cast, celebrity artist Mark and viciously embittered wife, Miriam.

    Appropriately – given William’s lifelong adoration of feminine beguilement – Miriam’s given the bloodiest share of the verbal meat, which, quite meticulously, she tears to vindictive shreds. Bored, and blatantly sexually promiscuous, she’s superbly played by vintage Stephen Berkoff muse Linda Marlowe, as severely, facially elegant as an Egon Schiele sketch.

     

     

    ALSO READ: THEATRE REVIEW | In A Bar In A Tokyo Hotel

     

     

    But crucially, the full potency of Williams’ witches’ brew only fully gels with one truculent ingredient – Mark. Played with bedraggled magnificence by David Whitworth in a suit spattered with kinetic, Jackson Pollack-style paint splashes, he’s an alcoholic void howling for impossible sublimity. Hopelessly shipwrecked on the shores of his own, hugely self-denigrated talent, vain, manic and despairing, he completes tonight’s savagely theatrical autopsy.

    It’s uncomfortable viewing, of course; almost hateful, even, as a dead, but co-dependent marriage fuels impotent speech drained of love, life or hope. All shot-gun, gnomic haikus, Mark and Miriam are plainly the warring sides of Williams’ psyche, his most shockingly direct self-portrait yet. But never remotely predictable – even in his least assured work – Williams suddenly extends this brutal marriage, implicating audiences lounging imperiously smug offstage. Shockingly, we’re immediately complicit in a vile, incest ménage of pointless sex, vapid euphoria and maddeningly absent, inner meaning.

    Still – to quote two infamous, patron saints of mediocrity – we’ve only just begun. For Williams, a Marquis de Sade of self-recrimination, this is barely entry-level abuse. If the semantic violence, so far, has lashed like a frenzied, sexually-crazed serial killer, the tone, the comportment, has been impeccably restrained. Almost, it’s old-world depravity, as seductive as Truman Capote elisions, a constant slippage of imminent catastrophe between word and action tautly drawn throughout. Then – with no prior warning – the directorial gloves slip off with the shattering force of a guillotine decapitation.

    Mark, in cardiac arrest, dies onstage, and Miriam, her fixed rock irretrievably gone, instantly collapses inside herself. Stark, brutal and visceral, it’s an ejected, projectile pregnancy moment, all possible futures splashed bloody and impotent wall to emotional wall. In one indelible, theatrical moment for the ages – Miriam, utterly vacant, declaring ‘I have no plans and nowhere to go’ – director Robert Chevara creates a harrowing tour-de force worthy of Samuel Beckett at his bleakest. Intriguingly, however, one suspects Chevara’s barely begun to hit his interpretive stride, and the best – wherever it may lead – is surely yet to come.

     

    by Fraulein Sasha de Suinn | @MsSashaDarling

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Music Festivals… Where Are All The Women?

    Music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel…do what?

    Politics. Equality. Sexism. The relentless back and forth of politically correct bitching.
    Petitions. Laws. Rights. Non stop nagging to get us all involved and care.

    Old Minorities. New minorities. Cultural appropriation. The jaded activist’s burnout, versus
    the relative innocence of maturing in a culture with previously hard won rights.

    Do you ever hear: ‘Women got the vote didn’t they? It’s female priests AND Bishops nowadays, right?. Gays can marry. If you shout ‘faggot’ it’s a hate crime. No one has to sit at the back of the bus. Give it all a rest!’

    Where do you stand? Do you care? Are you tired of being made to care? What is the the actual state of affairs regarding what has been achieved compared to what we feel about those achievements? How much do we all agree about where the new battle lines are to be drawn?

    Well, regardless of one’s apathy or militancy, we are actually doing well – in terms of the acquisition of rights, the enshrining of them in law and, perhaps more importantly, how we all think about these things.

    Few members of the public would tolerate the once familiar ‘No Blacks, Dogs or Irish’ signs in a news agent’s window, and, signally, they cannot be replaced with a modern ‘No Syrians, Muslims or Intersex’ sign either; notwithstanding the threat of terrorism, general ignorance, or the wide appeal of UKIP.

    We have the incredible luxury of campaigning for our quality of life rather than struggling for life itself. So, should we still be campaigning for those inequalities that yet exist or rather leave it all to an embittered vanguard of old warriors?

    Maybe. However, aside from the hand wringing of middle-class guilt, what can we, in these politically fatigued, media saturated times, actually do? When we turn to the funded mechanisms of social change all we seem to see is corruption and in-fighting.

    Well it seems to me that Stonewall gave us the gift of fun to go with our freedom fighting… and fun is a pivotal part of any Pride. We can now, sometimes, change the world with a light hearted touch and have a good time doing it.

    Right then: festivals and charity shops: The modern answer is to… Have fun, chill out and change the world through music. Enjoy consumerism, spend less and look good.

    Turn up the volume. No sarcasm here: the contributions that have been made by raising awareness and generating finance from these sources is undeniable.

    However, apparently there is an ‘elephant in the room’. An ugly fact, we’re told, regarding live music events…

    ‘In 2015 the major festivals displayed a massive gender imbalance. Of the 87 acts that were announced, 78 were all male, 3 were female and 6 were mixed groups. That was an 89.8% all male line up’.

    We were all too busy having fun to notice. This misrepresentation does need to change. Or do we think the great pop divas: Lady Gaga, Madonna, et al, are the only examples of prime female musicianship out there? Maybe women just can’t cut the musical mustard when it comes to ‘serious’ rock? Somehow I doubt that, but the numbers are telling us that something strange is going on.
    Well, someone has come up with a controversial response to this state of affairs:

    Pandorafest.

    In July 2016, Pandorafest will be ‘the UK’s first music festival to ‘focus on celebrating women artists and female musicianship across all genres’. Touted as LGBTQI friendly, it is a ‘one day, world class, live music event featuring female singer/songwriters, women musicians and female fronted bands playing across two stages’.

    Male artists are welcome as band members but the focus is definitely on the ladies. Announced as family friendly and LGBTI friendly. It is NOT a women only attendance event, but rather ‘a traditional festival that simply redresses the imbalance of represented performers, with men, women and every other shade of the spectator spectrum all welcome’.

    As all festivals should be.

    It will be located in Scotland. There will be music, stalls, food and drink; all the usual fun of a fest combined with the addictive joy of doing the right thing by supporting women musicians and celebrating female musicianship… Sounds great….

    Controversial, I’d said earlier. Well, if you don’t think it is, then fine, Pandorafest is for you.

    But it’s not so fluffy if you’re a struggling male artist or band. The festival scene is VERY competitive. There are guys out there that would sell their organs to get a shot at the mainstage of a decent event. For them it’s business, a chance to get some career changing publicity, to show the world what they can do.

    And there’s a brand new player in the ever growing British festival scene. But it doesn’t want them. However good they are. Whatever they have to say.

    Can we truly only combat discrimination by discriminating against the majority? If we’re drawing up new battle lines we should be careful,this time round.

    Perhaps Pandorafest will have a charity shop stall?

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Pass The Appropriation On The Left Hand Side…

    Returning from an excellent brunch at a nearby Sushi bar after an all night extravaganza spent dancing to a DJ mashup of Ska and Banghra, I kick off my Zulu ankle rattles, tie back my Dreads and adjust my Bindi to sit perfectly within the glorious symmetry of my Maori facial tattoo. I relax in my Kimono and whilst the Tibetan bowl based sounds of ‘Longplayer’ surround me, I gaze absentmindedly at the exquisite Sini Islamic calligraphy print on my wall and ponder my cultural heritage as: a denizen of planet earth.

    I am not living in a war-torn or disease and famine-ridden country. I can take fairly for granted that I am statistically unlikely, even under the invidious spread of Wahhabi based Islam, to die by violence. I am able, on the whole, to walk down the street holding the: (insert colour here) hand of my: (insert gender here) lover. Chances are slim that I will be killed by a drug cartel, in a pogrom, or by a follower of: (insert sacred patriarch here) due to my limited employment opportunities, or that I worship, suck or support: (insert – ah, you get the picture…)

    Even as I ponder the locational privilege accorded me through no personal merit, rather by some twist of birth, fate or geography, I am also aware that there are yet still globally fewer atrocities and hardships now than at most periods throughout human history. We make the mistake of believing because every genocide and gang rape can be instantly disseminated across the ether, that our planet-wide average experience is appalling and worsening all the time. It is not true.

    It is true that we are yet a primate ruled by primal urges: a territorial monkey mainly concerned with breeding status within the tribe and who has the most bananas, although we wrap it up as speed dating and new cars. Our tentative foray into consciousness is only a few thousand years old. We still think within the analogous confines of Plato’s ‘shadows on the cave wall.‘  The result is that we navigate using emotion rather than logic and in our sophistication use convincing concepts to justify ugly motives.

    I firmly feel the current judgemental hysteria regarding cultural appropriation is itself an ugly expression of disguised racism and to a lesser extent, self-righteous oneupmanship. It is itself both a conceptual form of white privilege and also ‘black’ separatism, respectively disguised as politically correct concern and identity pride. All are expressions of primate politics.

    Racism is not a white versus black thang. It is race versus race – whatever that race may be. Tribe against tribe: one group demanding separation and defining another group as lesser. Our definition of a tribal group is flexible. Its range includes the greater to the lesser: from country, colour, and creed across to sexuality, sports team or street.

    Restricting expression according to appropriateness actually results in oppression. But this consequence and its very nature is harder to define than those we have struggled with in the past during the heady days of simple racism, sexism and homophobia where we could all define what we stood against.

    Now we oppress someone though a choice of clothing, hairstyle or music video location. Coldplay has become the vanguard of white privilege and ‘western hegemony’ perpetuating India’s ‘internal conflict stemming from Hindu nationalism’. And poor Beyonce: a Black woman dressing as an Indian woman, whose shared beauty standard is a White woman. No longer a sista, now an ‘oppressa’.

    We have to truly examine our motives and be aware of the negative endpoint of good intent. Pocahontas is the perfect costume to express horror at Halloween. Banning it doesn’t result in equality and respect. Understanding her history and wearing it as an expression of horror would make it completely appropriate. (By the way, speaking as a Pagan, y’all seem to have appropriated my celebration. Do I digress? I think not)

    To reject the melting pot of cultural osmosis and sanctify an untouchability of cultures other than your ‘own’ is bad for the health and growth of the human race group mind. To do so is postmodernist thinking, which itself is a thought cult of religious guilt in pseudo-rational garb masquerading as a philosophy and politically correct movement. Too much of it results in the popularity of the likes of Farage and Trump, and then we all lose.

    Playing devil’s advocate for the moment, if we are going to deal with cultural appropriation, shall we do it inclusively right across the conceptual board? Perhaps we need a convenient sliding scale of validity with the most victimised having appropriation rights over the lesser sufferers? Let’s get a few things straight here, although this is not an inclusive list…

     

    • No more Japanese style full body tattoos for anyone except the Japanese.
    • All dark skinned people may not bleach their hair blonde.
    • You may only follow the religion or spiritual system of your postcode. No imports. No exceptions.
    • The kilt shall not be worn by any male except for genetically tested Scotland living Scots. (If you want to counter with the idea that most kilt wearers are white and as such, members of the privileged unoppressed white race, feel free to do so. The Scottish can have a fairly verbose and violent reaction to accusations of a cushy history. However, we may have to refer to the sliding scale of victimhood mentioned earlier to see who can and cannot be trumped)
    • No-one celebrates St Patrick’s day except the Irish in Ireland. The wearing of green in the USA on this date is to be only allowed by those who can prove they have immediate Irish peat soil under their nails. No third generation emigrant, regardless of the motivating potato famine factor may imbibe a Guinness upon that Sacred Day… ‘You are American by culture‘.
    • Finally, (and this is only fair, but may result in the formation of the largest, loudest and most colourful protest group) there will be absolutely NO gender appropriation either. All drag queens are to get their gender appropriate pants back on and their makeup off. And Nichola Adams is to drop the boxing gloves, get back in the kitchen where she belongs and stop appropriating Olympic medals.

     

    We can honour the beauty and inventiveness of other cultures. Enjoying others than our official own can be done without it being intrinsically patronising.

     

    ALSO READ: Gay Male Students – Told to “Stop Appropriating Black Women” – it’s policy

    ALSO READ: Mykki Blanco Slams Gay Media For Not Reflecting The Whole LGBT Community.

     

    We only have one planet, so can we aim a little higher, away from emotion and toward rational thought, toward the creation of meta cultures espousing critical thinking rather than unthinking criticism? The more cosmopolitan the entire world becomes the more equal we all become. Stop apologising, cherish all, and everybody expresses themselves through the infinite varieties of pancultural humanity.

    Let us also be a little clearer when reviewing history: colonial expansion brought good as well as bad, often the countries and tribes that bent under the enforced will of conquerors or Empire did also often oppress their own people or surrounding cultures. To state and accept seemingly contradictory Truths is not a justification of bad behaviour, just a start of progressive thinking and a sign of the evolution of civilisation toward ‘Humanist‘ concepts.

    Did I mention Islamic State? Civilisation comes unequally to us all. React against bombers, not bellydancers.

     

    The opinions expressed in this comment piece may not reflect those of the management or editorial of THEGAYUK. If you’d like to write a comment or column for THEGAYUK click here.

     

  • COMMENT | Why everyone should understand Stonewall

    Why everyone should understand Stonewall

    CREDIT: © evgeshag Depositphotos
    CREDIT: © evgeshag Depositphotos

    To some people Stonewall is just an organisation for LGBT people, for others they have no clue what the word “Stonewall” actually means, and this is concerning. For something that happened less than 50 years ago, it’s not good that there are some gay people who have absolutely no clue what Stonewall represents to a community they are part of, and that without they wouldn’t be where they are today.

    So… a little history lesson.

    In the early 20th century, the world for LGBT people was still a horrifying place, jobs were refused, and legally they had very little protection from the law. They were vilified and shunned and violence was common, and even the FBI has a list of known homosexuals and their frequented places and would regularly conduct operations to “clean up” the areas and either arrest homosexuals or ship them off the mental institutions, but by the early 60s small establishments (mostly organised crime run) were starting to appear, providing a safe haven for homosexuals to go to, despite the poor quality of alcohol and unsanitary conditions. The crime syndicates who owned the venues would pay off the police to keep the raids less frequent. By the late 60s especially in New York, the venues were starting to get larger and were some of the few places that allowed LGBT people to dance together.

    But what was Stonewall, and why is it so defining in LGBT history? In 1967 in New York City, The Stonewall Inn was (after much renovation) opened as a gay bar and space for the much maligned LGBT community in New York, and was one of the largest in the US at the time. Over the upcoming turbulent 2 years, the bar was raided at least monthly by the police, but due to mafia payoffs these raids were forewarned to the business and patrons and were conducted in the early evening before business really got going and the night would continue after the police left.

    By 1969, the payoffs from the Mafia were starting to have less and less effect on the police, and the raids were coming later in the evening, and were becoming more violent, with more arrests. By June that year the Mafia was starting to exploit the wealthier patrons of the bar, especially those from the Wall Street business district and were not using this money to pay the police. This started to come to a head on June 24th 1969 with one of the usual raids at The Stonewall Inn where several drag queens were arrested or forced to leave the bar, the atmosphere was starting to become dangerous, and the police, who were no longer being placated with bribes decided to shut the inn down by force. And with a spurious reason from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms who were allegedly searching for bootlegged liquor, in the early hours of the Saturday June 28th, four plain clothes police officers who had been in the bar all evening making visual observations made their presence known by loudly announcing “Police! We’re taking the place!” The music was turned off, and the main lights turned up. Several of the 205 people in the inn that night made a run for the doors, and the windows in the toilets, but were stopped from leaving. The usual tip-off about a raid had never come, and now all the patrons who were thought to be cross-dressing were separated, as per standard procedure, in order to identify the gender of those dressed in female attire, but unlike before, the patrons started to refuse to produce identification and a sense of disquiet spread quickly amongst the patrons who objected to the treatment of the lesbians present by the rough handed male police officers.

    Those not being arrested were forced out of the inn by the police but were not leaving the immediate area, and this attracted other bystanders who came to watch what was going on. As the stories of the police treatment from inside began to filter into the steadily growing crowd, the sense of unrest was becoming obvious. Due to a delay in the patrol wagons that were meant to transport the alcohol and anyone who had been arrested, the crowd had swelled to nearly 150 people standing outside. And once the first trickle of officers and their detainees had begun to leave the bar, the hostility was as boiling point. One officer shoved an African American drag queen (rumoured to be Marsha P Johnson) out of the way who responded by hitting him on the head with her handbag. To the sound of the crowd booing the police and singing “We Shall Overcome” a lesbian was seen battling with the police who had allegedly already struck her for complaining her handcuffs were too tight. And as she was about to be hauled into the back of the waiting wagon, it took one small sentence to change everything. She stared at the crowd and shouted “Why don’t you guys do something?”

    And the crowd that that now swelled to 500 took her to her word and fought back, breaking the police line and fighting their way towards the arrested patrons to try and release them from police custody. There was no organised group, just the final straw of feelings from a group of people who had finally had enough of the treatment that they had been dealing with for years.

    For the next 3 hours the police and crowd battled each other causing thousands of dollars worth of damage to the inn, until both groups retreated from the scene. Although not the first backlash against the police treatment against the community, Stonewall the first time the LGBT community had taken a more concerted stand and the police hated it, They’d never had that kind of reaction from the gays before and during the daylight hours of June 28th the unrest continued, and many of the protestors from the previous riot were in the area of The Stonewall along with curious bystanders came to stare at the now burnt and blackened inn. The protestors took the opportunity to entertain and enlighten the crowd to their cause.

    The following night another riot broke out, which lasted until after 4:00am again with more violent clashes amongst the protesters and police and over the coming six days various scuffles and smaller scale riots were reported, but by now it was already too late for the police to stop the movement that had started, and less than 2 weeks after the first riot, the usual quiet and meek annual protestations by LGBT empowerment group The Mattachine Society were changing and The Gay Liberation Front was formed, a more vocal and out there group.

    Over the next 12 months the very first Pride style event was organised along the street the Stonewall Inn had been on (Christopher Street) which took place a year to the day after the riots, and the following year 7 more cities worldwide, including London held pride marches and events and in 1972, 8 more cities were added to the list of locations and it has grown ever since, with there now being hundreds of pride events around the world.

    So as you go to your local gay club, or attend one of the many gay pride events this year, stop and think for a second of the brave men and women in 1969 who shouted back to give you the right to do these things.

    @AndyEG1982

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | Militant Left Wing LGBT Student Extremists Are Destroying Free Speech

    How Militant Left Wing LGBT Student Extremists Are Destroying Free Speech, Freedom of Expression and the LGBT Movement

    There’s a situation that has been brewing for some time. Something dark, nasty, and disturbing that is threatening free speech and the LGBT movement. It’s a movement that genuinely concerns me as someone who has dedicated my life to equality campaigning.

    This worrying militant left wing LGBT student extremist crusade ruining free speech, freedom of expression and the LGBT movement first caught my eye when the National Union of Students (NUS) banned gay men from behaving like black women and dragging up in case it offends people of colour and trans people. After that it was the news that Edinburgh University has banned cross dressing and camp costumes at Halloween in case such costumes offend people. Thirdly, we move on to the rising prevalence of universities no-platforming speakers who hold views that some could deem offensive.

    Two such examples of this are Germaine Greer and Milo Yiannopoulos. Personally, I do not agree with Greer or Yiannopoulos’ views on trans people. I feel their views are outdated and offensive. However, I do not believe that they should be silenced due to their views. As long as they are not inciting violence or hatred of trans people, their right to free speech should be maintained. Attempting to silence people because their views do not align with yours is not the way to go about things. Surely it is better to allow those people a platform and challenge them with reasoned debate than to behave in a way that infringes on the precious free speech that many of these militant left wing LGBT student extremists claim they want to have and preserve.

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    I’ve been on the receiving end of it myself in recent times. As leader of an LGBT charity and director of Warwickshire Pride, I’m used to enduring a bit of trolling online from time to time. However, nothing had prepared me for the torrent of harassment and abuse I received from Warwick University students at the tail end of last year.

    In response to a rise in hate crimes against LGBT people in my local area, I organised the Leamington Spa Equality Rally. Its purpose was to highlight the issue of hate crime, the problem of hate crime under-reporting, and to bring the community together. Local politicians and the Police were invited along to support the rally, which they did. It was well attended by local people and achieved what it set out to do.

    Unfortunately, there were a number of local university students who objected to the police being allowed to attend the rally. They claimed that the police actively murder trans people and aggressively insisted that I ban the police from all local LGBT events.

    My belief is that it’s important for police to have an active, engaging presence at Pride festivals and LGBT events. Rather than it being about policing the events and harassing the LGBT community, it’s actually about positive community engagement and solidarity with LGBT people.

    Sadly, that’s not something the university students were willing to accept and they embarked on a hate campaign against me. The campaign included many untruths about me written online and a statement released on their university LGBT society website that claimed I am not fit to run an LGBT organisation because I am white and not trans. The statement came with a list of demands, but unfortunately for them I do not bow to demands and do not negotiate with extremists. Reasoned debate is more my thing.

    Another individual who has recently had difficulties with extremists is legendary human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell. He believes in free speech, even when people’s views oppose his own. Like me, he feels that it is better to challenge people with debate rather than act to silence them. Due to Peter Tatchell’s views, the NUS’ LGBT representative, Fran Cowling, refused to attend an event unless Peter Tatchell was banned.

    She claimed that Tatchell is racist and transphobic. Having met Peter and being well aware of his work, I don’t believe for a second that is true. Looking at his record of campaigning will tell you all you need to know about him. Sadly, Tatchell did not speak at the event and said that it was an example of “a witch hunting, accusatory atmosphere” that is indicative of a decrease in “open debate on some university campuses”.

    I entirely agree.

    So what’s the solution? I really don’t know. Seeking to silence the militant left wing LGBT student extremist movement is not the answer, but it is a cause for concern and I sincerely hope that the NUS begins to see sense at some point in the near future. Freedom of speech and expression must be protected and cherished.

     

    @MrDanielBrowne

     

    The opinions expressed in this comment piece may not reflect those of the management or editorial of THEGAYUK. If you’d like to write a comment or column for THEGAYUK click here.

  • JOURNEY TO FATHERHOOD 4 | Legal and Ethical issues

    Legal and ethical issues are the less exciting, but a very important part of surrogacy. I thought this would be a very dry article until my recent experience. Despite my research I was in for a surprise.

    ‘Legals’ as they are known, underpin any surrogacy process and UK law is restrictive. They cover everything from the payment of money to birth certificate names and legal rights. Implications can include a criminal record. At one end of the scale of ‘success’ you will find: a gay celebrity who has found a friendly lesbian, a clinic and co-parenting arrangements which seem very snug. At the other end are horror stories such as an everyday gay man having no access rights and having to pay maintenance for a child they will never see. This makes surrogacy in the UK decidedly unreliable. When dealing with bringing a child into this world, not to mention the money involved, for me, the more certainty the better.

    So the ‘legals’ are important. It also brings into stark contrast where to look outside the UK: Ukraine is still a country with a subdued war zone, Thailand has just banned gay couples using surrogacy, Mexico has poor regulation, and places such as Russia and Georgia have very grey areas legally. The question isn’t so much what’s written in law, as what can be enforced and by whom?

    People’s actions are governed by the perceived consequences of their actions, rather than what is written in law.

    A second issue that is closely linked is ethics. So often it will be a culture’s ethical perceptions which are then interpreted into law. For example, who is ‘mum’ and if/what role does ‘mum’ play in a child’s upbringing? How important is it to have a female involved in child care? At one end of the childcare scale, you can point to studies which show that actually childcare is about time and attention given. Two men can be more capable than a heterosexual couple because they may give more time and attention to the child(ren). At the other end of the scale are the views of an everyday person based on their own experience (dad worked and mum raised the kids). We are all still influenced by our cultural history as this forms part of our identity. To break this is to go against the cultural mould, that is, to be an outsider. In the UK out gay men are used to being outsiders, but this takes it to a whole new level. This type of ‘outside’ is also where casual bigotry and sexism creep in.

    A gay couple I know went to a children’s party with their kids. A friendly mum was chatting to one and then said hello to the other. She began by asking dad #2 who he was. He said he was dad as well. Embarrassed silence followed when she realised what the situation was. (This was a kid’s party in trendy south-east London. Imagine what it’s like somewhere a little less cosmopolitan?) In this respect for me, there is some relief, as I won’t have to explain who I am. ‘Mum’ will forever be, ‘in America’.

    Further ethical considerations include the implications for the surrogate. Emotional attachment has long been an issue. For example, a cardinal rule is not to let the surrogate breast feed directly. Breast feeding releases a hormone which binds a child to the milk giver. As a result because of this and similar issues, if you want to have a female who is both surrogate and egg donor you have to go to remote locations. The stark realisation that there are two females involved in surrogacy seemed surprising to the gay friends I’ve told. This means that ‘mum’ will be two people, a genetic mother and a birth mother. It makes it more clinical and easier to handle emotionally, but then you start to question the motivations of those involved. It usually links back to money and once money is involved, then it is legal enforcement, not what is written that is so important. Find yourself in a clinic in Russia where a genetic surrogate wants to keep the baby and disappears, and you can imagine the implications.

    For this reason, evidence of lengthy ongoing practice (say over five or ten years) plus a legal framework which has been tried and tested in a culture which is sympathetic is very important. If you perform this ‘test’, it should be applied to both the culture, its regulatory framework and also to the fertility clinic, surrogacy agency and law firm. Remember, it only matters if enforcement has to be taken, but who will have your back and how, if enforcement is taken?

    As a result I opted for the United States. It is the most expensive choice, but has a strong and experienced regulatory framework in the states of California and Nevada. Despite this, there are still issues. The concern is no longer ethical issues, but enforcement issues.

    When I bought my legals, I bought an ‘unlimited’ package from a law firm in the United States, as part of my overall deal. This provided advice and a legally enforceable contract, not pro-active negotiation or litigation. This came to be significant, eight months after signing up to the surrogacy deal. We were at the stage of drawing up the surrogate’s contract, based on agreed terms. It was adjusted by me and sent to my surrogate. A week before the deadline, the contract returned. My surrogate, the lovely lady I met in the states, wanted more money.

    Another agency had approached her, offering more. A recent scandal saw a surrogacy agency go under taking their surrogates’ money.

    My surrogate wanted more money plus a buffer of $10,000 in the escrow account. Suddenly my bill had increased by $20,000, just a week before we were due to exchange contracts.

    My law firm effectively washed their hands and said ‘just accept it’. There was no attempt to fight my corner. If at this stage, they weren’t fighting my corner, then what happens if we get into contract enforcement? All of the surrogacy agency’s talk of ‘doing it for a good cause’ washed away.

    I questioned if I could trust my surrogate. Also, as my father said, “you understand a law firm once the going gets tough” -and mine couldn’t run fast enough. In the end I negotiated with my surrogate. I agreed to some increases, and we signed a contract. To really add to my issues, my law firm got my surrogate to sign a different copy of the contract to the one I had notarised. We have yet to resolve this. I now have two surrogate contracts each with different signed parties. Enforcement could be an issue.

    The US maybe more regulated but the issues are subtler. Good strong communication by all parties is needed.

    Next time I’ll look at: how you choose the agencies involved, the egg donor, and surrogate. Who do you pick and why? Please also help me to raise funds, any contribution is gratefully received: http://www.gofundme.com/simonhill

     

  • COMMENT | Truly Madly Deeply

    Roses are red violets are blue if you’re not sane and sorted no one’s gonna f*ck you!

    Maybe I was blissfully unaware, growing up as a teen in the 90s, but the only ‘type’ of gays I was aware of – were lesbians, gays, bisexuals and non-gays/straight. It never occurred to me to categorize them with regards to their age, weight, bodily hair or lack of it.

    I see it as open minded, others may say I’m a whore but I was never really interested in a particular type. My preference was creative guys with nice eyes, who laughed a lot and kissed well. That’s a pretty wide spectrum.

    Current tribes and trends – daddies, twinks, bears, cubs and otters etc. do make me chuckle especially considering I was once a beaver at scout group!

    Just as I have got my head around these new labels bam! Along comes sane and sorted.

    What does it mean to declare yourself sane and sorted?

    I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I am far from sane and a long way off sorted. Although gay men, especially, seem to be afraid to admit this.

    So much is expected of us based upon stereotype – we are the funny ones, the ones who are flamboyant, the ones with disposable incomes, creative types, the best friend a girl could have and of course we are but also we are so much more. To me to – be gay is to be courageous and brave.

    It is easy to forget that less than 50 years ago it was illegal to be gay in this country. It still is in places around the World. At some point in our lives there is going to be a time that we realise we feel differently to our families and friends and need the process of ‘coming out’ which can significantly impact our mental health.

    It’s still so difficult to be gay. You’d think that you would automatically find encouragement and support from other gay men but instead we find ourselves standing alongside these Spartans chanting “No Fems” “Non Scene” “straight acting” trying to take us down in a spiral of their internalised homophobia. To me they are an unlabelled trend, emerging as self-confessed superior gays.

    You may not find effeminate guys to be attractive but it is ok for guys to be camp. You may not enjoy going to gay bars or clubs but those that do should not be made to feel there is something wrong with socialising in these places. What ‘sort’ of person discredits another by how much more they are/have/earn in comparison?

    The statistics show that the LGBTQ community are more likely to suffer with mental health issues. As if our lives aren’t hard enough sometimes.

    I suffer with mental illness. I have done for years and until last year I never really accepted that or sought proper help until it was too late and I had no choice but to face it head on.

    This had severe, damaging consequences on my relationships solely because I was in denial and tried to, for too long, hold it together.

    Ultimately my relationships suffered because I didn’t take care of myself mentally. I was dishonest and scared because I thought that by admitting I had issues, there would be implications on my love life but it was by not acknowledging them that caused wreckage.

    Pre ‘coming out’ with mental illness, I was a hopeless romantic. Post mental illness I’m slightly pessimistic and think cupid’s arrows are prejudice towards me and fellow mad hatters. I do worry whether I will be able to find love again purely down to the fact that I have ownership of a clinical mental health diagnosis.

    I’d like to think that being open about my struggles reinforces my eligibility to ultimately find a relationship because it’s not a skeleton in the closet waiting to pop out but I do understand it’s not a great selling point. Buy one box of crazy frogs get another free!

    Initially I really struggled with being a gay man who didn’t live up to the expectations of sane and sorted but It’s very clear that mental health is potentially more destructive if it’s kept a secret and untreated. So making people feel inadequate if they do have issues is only going to promote suppressive behaviour.

    There’s still so much stigma around mental health.

    Once upon a time I was one of those guys who wouldn’t have necessarily considered dating someone with known mental health issues. Now the shoe is on the other foot and I’m looking for the other right one to complete the ‘pair.’ Hopefully for a happier ever after.

    A proudly not so sane and not sorted Gaz Goulding.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COMMENT | False Gay Icons: Good, bad or Katie Hopkins?

    Amongst the gay community (us gays) we like to have icons. Over the years we have called out quite a few. Ranging from Madonna & Kylie back in the day to more modern icons like Barack Obama, Lady Gaga or Stephen Fry.

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