I’m going to get straight to the point here and say NO! I do not believe that there is such a thing as a gay community these days. I know that some will disagree with me here and say that there’s absolutely a gay community, but I disagree.

I think that these days there’s some confusion between a community and a group or clique. It’s my opinion that we now find ourselves in groups or cliques, with little essence of the community spirit that has existed in the past. I say this because the first image that popped into my head when thinking about the ‘gay community’ was one of the commercial scene. Although the scene is a small part of gay culture, it’s the most visible and I imagine it’s what most people would think about when discussing the gay community.

Although I indulge in the scene now and again, in general, I think it’s quite an unhealthy place and can be absolutely vile at times. I don’t believe that there’s any sense of community on the scene. It’s always come across as an extremely shallow place. Well to me anyway.

In the town where I live there are many gay people who typically fit into two groups.

The first is the guys who have all had sex with each other, then fall out and bitch about each other before making up and having sex again. Then they fall out and the cycle continues. They would probably see themselves as a gay community but I see it as more a circle of filth and drama.

The second group of gay guys in my town is very much a clique. It’s the very definition of a clique. The group is very exclusive and you will only be welcomed into their circle if you meet the standards that they have. It’s a materialistic clique that focuses on who has what, who has the biggest and best garden, and who has the best designer clothes. At their monthly Sunday lunches they all try to outdo each other and put on a more grand and expensive lunch than the previous host. This clique was once disgusted because someone who was sitting near them was wearing a shirt from Tesco. If it ain’t Dolce they don’t wanna know. One of the clique also openly said “these people are boring me” when friends of mine were trying to get acquainted with them. That kind of thing really annoys me and the word I would use to describe that way of living is ‘bollocks’. There’s no community there either. It’s just falseness and pretence.

The sense of community in gay culture may not be completely lost. There are pockets of communities working to make life better for gay people. Sadly, in my opinion, they are a minority. What I am finding more prevalent is solidarity between gay people and their allies. An example of this is a pride event that I am trying to set up at the moment.

Warwickshire is a quiet place and is lagging behind the rest of the country, but that is all set to change. I have started planning Warwickshire’s first gay pride event. The aim of Warwickshire Pride is to bring the community together to celebrate diversity. By community I mean the wider community; gay and straight people, and people of different races and religions, all coming together to celebrate diversity. All sorts of people from all walks of life are coming on board to help make this happen. It may be an LGBT pride but the straights are helping to make it happen too. There’s a real sense of community spirit with this process of putting on the event and that will be the purpose of occasion.

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I can’t see many of the gay people in my town being involved in the planning. There would be too much infighting and power games to get anything achieved. I think the same goes for gay guys on the commercial scene; there wouldn’t be a sense of community involved. It would be all about getting drunk, getting laid and making sure plenty of hot guys are there. The sense of community has definitely been lost over time. We’re no longer all in it together; we’re in it for ourselves.

Except I’m not. I don’t really fit into any gay clique or any group in general. I’m an individual and it’s my individuality that I cherish so much. I am part of a community though. But it’s not a gay community; it something better than that – a community containing a diverse range of people that has spirit. I’d take that over a ‘gay community’ any day.

 

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Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.