THEGAYUK

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  • OPINION | Why the EU is important for the LGBT Community

    With the rise of extremist parties in the UK and the challenges that face conventional political parties, one of the most contentious battles is over membership of the European Union. The United Kingdom became a member of the EU on the first of January 1973, and have since enjoyed the privileges of a single internal market, a standardised system of laws that apply in all member states and of course human rights.

    But why is the EU so important to the LGBT community?

    LGBT rights are protected under a range of EU treaties and laws that decriminalises homosexuality across all member states. But more than this under EU law there are provisions that combat discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation, which have been legally binding across Europe since the 1990s. The EU had single-handedly managed to create a framework for equal treatment in employment and occupation for our community.

    In practice, the law protects every person who identifies with the LGBT from being discriminated against in the work place. This includes refusal of a job, being dismissed and even harassment during work.

    But this is not all the EU has done for our community. In 2009, Lithuania was a battleground of gay rights and abuse. The European Commission made it a point to tone down the homophobic language and abused used freely in the country and even went as far to support the gay pride parade under threat of banning.

    Since then the Council of the European Union have created a binding guideline that instructs EU diplomats around the world to defend the rights of the LGBT community. This is a global effort on behalf of the EU to protect the rights we have fought so hard to gain.

    The legalisation of same-sex marriage in the UK has also been strongly influenced by the EU. Although the EU does allow some level of discretion in the implementation of the EU wide laws, some countries have abused this discretion to prevent same sex marriage. However the views of the EU are clear. It can be seen through the case law of the EU Court of Justice that same sex partners must be treated the same as those who are married.

    The EU has ensured that Europe is most progressive continent in the world for recognising LGBT rights. Legalising same sex activity, marriage and slowly the right for couples to adopt. As well as providing a frame work of anti discrimination laws in the work place and allowing gays to openly serve in the military.

    There is no doubt that the EU has made the world a safer and more accepting place for us. If the UK were to remove its self from the EU then it would also remove all EU wide law that protects our rights. Although we would have domestic law that to some extent offers similar protection, membership to the EU provides safeguards that force even the government to protect our rights.

    No matter your views or opinion on the EU, we can all agree that they have significantly contributed to the protection of our community and without their support, it is highly unlikely that we would have come as far as we have in the struggle for equality.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | The Rise Of (Hot) Gay Geek

    In ‘The Standard’ newspaper earlier this week (1st July) there is a lovely article on how the “gay geek is the most sought after worker in London” in which Benjamin Cohen (not the hot rugby one unfortunately) talks about how big tech firms are jumping on the gay rights bandwagon and engaging in recruitment and events that attract up and coming gay men.

    Did you know that up and coming technical whizz gay men where hot property these days? No, neither did I.

    All either have that geek look about them, or are a big part of the so-called “geek world” and yet retain a level of attraction. It could just be me and my view of the world having said that, but my what a view…
    So I say to that inner geek in you, break out! Be free! And whatever your “geekyness”, remember that it makes you hot… (Especially if you’re Zachary Quinto).

    Mr Cohen goes on in his article to claim that earlier this year a study by the University of California found 46% of the gay US workforce has at least one degree, compared with less than a third of the straight workforce. Similar studies in the UK have found gay men on average earn more than a straight man in the same profession.

    Being a gay professional who seems to fall into that bucket myself I found this fascinating and it got me thinking… us Gay Geeks really are hot property (if I don’t say so myself). Both in a business sense (as it would appear) but also from a rise in the “Hot Gay Geek” look or celebrity.
    But where have these quietly confident hot geeks come from? Have they always been there, lurking in the background at parties being the cute man we all dream for or is this something new? A new craze or fad that has appeared and made the tradition unwelcome geek the cool one at the party? Since the huge success of The Big Bang Theory and the introduction of Zachary Quinto as Spock in the revitalised Star Trek movies, the concept of geek and hot have very much become a “thing”. Don’t we all just want a 3 way with Leonard and Spock??

    Growing up, I was very much a geek (not the modern cool kind) and it’s something that I’ve not really grown out of. From technology & gadgets through to being a card carrying Trekkie, Geek is very much me and very much part of my life. But has this ever been hot? I wouldn’t have thought so, don’t get me wrong geeks find other geeks attractive (it’s less fuss that way) but has this attracted the jock type, or other ‘cool’ or ‘hot’ guys?
    I bet that the moment I say to you “Trekkie” you either don’t know what this means (a Star Trek fan) or if you do know what it means you have a picture of a pale skinned, greasy haired person that has never ‘been’ with another human being let alone met an alien life form (or maybe they have, in which case I have no comment). But you would be so wrong! Geeks are much more than that and this rise to the limelight highlights that. Everyone has a little geek inside them, this latest trend has just brought it all out into the limelight for the world to see.

  • OPINION | Selective Love

    2014 has been remarkably record-breaking for the LGBT+ community. However, our strength unsettles certain masses. These seem to be the oldest offenders… The Religious. Are they clutching at straws in order to try and demonise homosexual presence?

    The huge advantage of the, almost, daily technology advancement in the world, is that we witness the most outrageous stories and news that forces us to stop our phone screens, dead in their tracks. In between a ‘Tag a mate’ photo and a funny-as-hell ‘eGreeting’, you will observe, for instance, extremist pastors unashamedly brainwashing communities, whose kids are forced to hold placards that write: “God Hates Fag Enablers”; “Homosexuality is Sin. Christ Can Set You Free”; or the eerie: “Fags Die God Laughs”.

    Are some churches or religious collectives scared that their foundations are crumbling; which are leading them to extreme actions having to justify their own existence?

    If we travel down to Uganda, pastor Martin Ssempa goes so far as corrupting citizens minds, again particularly with children, on how gay men have sex. He destroys the image of two men being able to love one another and replaces it with the illustration of content that ignorantly suggests gay men have sex via way of “Eat Da Poo Poo”, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjnrLt3VuSM,

    According to this monster, gay men ‘lick poo like ice cream’, and they need to take drugs in order to be able to endure the agony of performing the act of ‘fisting’. It is anger-summoning as well as pitiful, that men like these are lurking in schools and community halls, spreading such innocuous untruths.

    These extremists are polluting the mind of children, at an early age, planting the seed of gay hate. Sometimes the harshest culprits are parents, whose ignorance destroys lives of children.

    Fortunately, in America, there is a heart-warming story of a boy named Zach who, bravely came out, on Facebook, to his friends. His mother saw it and wrote the most touching letter:

    “Zach,
    I was surprised by your Facebook post where you came out. I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. I love you with my actions, not just my words. I’m so proud of you. You are the bravest person I know. I’ll fight for you always. Your sexual orientation does not define you. You are still the boy who forever won my heart. The only thing that concerns me is the number of empty soda cups and tea bottles in your room. Throw them away before ants come inside.

    I love you always –
    Mom”
    (http://www.upworthy.com/a-boy-came-out-on-facebook-his-mother-found-out-and-decided-to-write-him-this-letter)

    Zach needs not to worry any longer with such unconditional love and support being shown in his home. In fact, the only worry he has is getting ‘ants in his pants’, it appears.

    Bringing it back to some sadder news: Some of these bigots are going as far as travelling to other countries/continents to spread this hate. However, this is where our strength is surely noticed.

    There is an American pastor called Lou Engle, whose infamy for anti-gay campaigns echoes the globe. His religious ideology is so extremist; it elevates Uganda’s atrocious homosexuality view on to a high pedestal. He believes that the Ugandan Church is a Divine prophesy that should be worshipped and forced upon.

    Engle had plans to fly from America to Geneva to attend an event called TheCall which aimed at titling Geneva as the ‘city of righteous influence’, via way of fasting, prayer and purification of the mind, as this, he claims, is what God wants for humanity; this is, of course, another way of brainwashing people in to adopting his controversial beliefs. He wanted to spread his repressive idealism to this city. I use the past tense for a reason.

    Thanks to AllOut and the LGBT+ supporters coming together and protesting, Lou Engle pulled out of the event, and cancelled the visit, altogether. We are acquiring a relentless strength and courage, as well as shaking ancient pedagogies by standing up and fighting back.

    There may be fewer of us, but together our love and compassion will overthrow hate. Religious preaching is guilty of the biggest irony of them all.

    Selective Love.

    By this I mean, humans can let themselves be influenced by ideologies, such as the need for love and acceptance for one another, yet to these same people it appears normal to stone, imprison, humiliate or kill a person for loving someone of the same sex?

    Correct me if I am wrong, but does it not say in the Bible: Mark 12:31: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself”?

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | what’s wrong with being Mr Average

    Pride season is well and truly underway, and we have many reasons to celebrate this year but why do I feel increasingly isolated from my community?

    As a gay community we were supposed to be inclusive and non-judgemental of other people but these days there really is no truth to that anymore. As a homosexual in his late 30s I’m practically already dead, over the hill etc etc, and as stupid and wrong as that is, it is only the tip of the iceberg of the problems that are currently infecting the gay community all over the world.

    SOCIAL MEDIA
    One of the biggest issues I have today is Gay / Social media and the constant in your face pictures of “muscle men” as being the ONLY form of male that is apparently attractive, it’s so constant and aggressive that I think the younger generation have developed a skewed perception of what makes an attractive man.

    Every single day on my friends’ timelines and news feeds, anytime a picture is posted of an “attractive” man (famous or a cheeky pic of someone on the train) you can absolutely guarantee it’s somebody muscles or a digitally enhanced six pack, yes it’s lovely to look at a nice body, but it’s also incredibly tiresome when you see picture after picture, day after day of men with bodies that look exactly the same as each other.

    It all has a ripple effect and that’s never more apparent when you’re using a gay dating app. The amount of times I have been asked for a “body pic” and when I say no, it’s either usually no more reply or “is it cos you’re fat?” and by “fat” it now generally means you don’t have a toned or muscled body. I find that incredibly sad and worrying.

    There are plenty of attractive men out there that don’t have 6-day-a-week-gym-bodies but you wouldn’t know they existed, and you won’t see them on the cover of magazines or in silly “Top 10 Hunks” columns.

    We have been wiped out in terms of media, we don’t exist anymore, we are dead.

    Perhaps it’s time for the gay media to take some responsibility and start including people who don’t have those “desirable” muscles and bodies in their photo-shoots, imagine how incredible that would be, how liberating the positive long-term effects it would have.

    In the 21st century we are finally starting to be awarded the equal rights that any human being should have, but what good is equality when a large part of the community is increasingly being isolated or forgotten about by gay / social media.

    Most gay men don’t have the perfect body, or the perfect job with a jet-setting lifestyle that all gay men apparently seem to have and if we don’t we are constantly trying to be sold that lifestyle whether you like it or not.

    There is nothing wrong with being “Mr Average” with a perfectly normal non-gym body.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Stonewall got it wrong Again

    By now I’m sure many of you will have heard about the new anti-gay laws coming into effect in Brunei, the subsequent condemnation around the world and boycott of hotels owned by the Sultan of Brunei, and then Stonewall’s refusal to back such a boycott. I must say I was hugely disappointed with Stonewall… And I still am.

    Acting CEO of Stonewall, Ruth Hunt, has now released a statement saying that the organisation will no longer be using the Dorchester hotel for events and she has apologised for their initial position on this issue. Although I think that Stonewall are now doing the right thing, I feel that it shouldn’t have come after outrage from their supporters. Stonewall is meant to be the leading LGBT charity in the UK, but it has become clear from this incident that they may not necessarily be best placed to be that leading charity. In fact it is my opinion that they have followed where others have led on this issue.

    Stonewall have been holding events at the Dorchester for some time now and that is something that has always bothered me, before the disagreement over boycotting Sultan of Brunei owned hotels. Firstly because only people with a large income can afford to attend anything at the Dorchester, but also because I feel it’s inappropriate for a charity to put on events at such costly venues in the first place. I run my own LGBTQ charity, Push Projects, and would never consider putting on an event at such a place.

    Everything is done at a low cost and takes place at affordable venues. The expense of putting on an event at such pricey places would be better spent directly helping the people the charity exists to represent. But I digress…

    I believe the boycott of hotels owned by the Sultan of Brunei is a positive thing. Although I am all for conversation and working things out by talking, I also feel that boycotts can send powerful messages. This particular boycott is not on a small scale; it is a worldwide campaign that many high profile people and organisations are supporting. With so much backing for a boycott, Stonewall got it completely wrong by stating they would not support it. It demonstrates that they do not represent the majority or LGBT people and their allies. It shows that they are out of touch. The superior tone of Ruth Hunt’s article in the Telegraph certainly gave that impression.

    Today’s announcement that Stonewall will no longer be using the Dorchester hotel is a case of too little, too late. It feels more like damage limitation rather than a sincere gesture. Something appears to be wrong at Stonewall and it’s clear they need to take a hard look at themselves and how they represent the LGBT community. Perhaps a change at the top is in order. They claim to be listening. Will they listen to this?

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Rise Like A Mockingjay

    Has Austria given the world a new symbol of hope? Like, I don’t know, Katniss Everdeen? I too felt like raising my three middle fingers in support of Conchita Wurst.

    Like most of the world, I am sure you were in awe at Austria’s entry of the Eurovision Song Contest. It sent shivers as well as butterflies through one’s body. The powerful voice of Conchita filled our ears with delicious harmony, as well as lyrically astounding us.

    There is one thing about her journey that struck me sideways. Despite criticism and idiocy from close-minded bigots, Conchita triggers thoughts of a familiar struggle that, at one point in every gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender’s life, they have gone through and therefore can relate to. For those Hunger Games fanatics and acquaintances, this struggle resonates Katniss’s turmoil when defending her own kind who had been, for seventy five years, ostracised, marginalised and made to live their lives as sacrificial, by the Capitol. The Capitol has a lot to answer for, as they do not want to change, in fact what they want to do is to boycott and silence these protests.

    Is that ringing any bells?

    What were Russia, Belarus and Ukraine trying to do during the Eurovision week?

    I will leave that rhetorical. As I can hear the pennies dropping in your minds.

    Watching the Final was mesmerising and ethereal. I was expecting Conchita’s dress to turn in to ‘Flame’ and her nodding to, a Cinna like person, in the audience as confirmation of the rebellious movement. What really got me were the fire-like wings behind her, on the screen, as Conchita Wurst beautifully bursts in to the last Rise Like A Phoenix chorus.

    The victory was not just about the song and the artist, but it was another triumph for LGBT community’s voice being heard and expressed. It makes me wonder if this same song was played five years ago, would it have had the same effect? Or was it the fact that the world’s views have strengthened in relation to LGBT rights?

    2014 has been a year of so many firsts:
    29th March: Gay Weddings, making it a live broadcast for all to see and celebrate with the happy couple. United Nations advances its stand on Gay Rights with Bollywood style music video depicting a welcoming of a homosexual couple to one’s family.
    Conchita Wurst creates a storm within East Europe and the World with her sheer confidence and ambition. Where to end? This is the beginning.

    As many countries such as Uganda, Nigeria, Kenya, have views that are eerily intensifying, there is a pleasing air of acceptance around the communities in the Western Culture where it feels okay to hold a hand or kiss someone of the same sex, or even to tell your Mum or Dad who you really are.

    Thank you Conchita Wurst for the emancipation of LGBT presence. We all raise our three fingers to you.

    Keep that Bird Rising!

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | RuPaul is Right – The Gay Movement Will Eat Itself From The Inside Out

    RuPaul appears to have been at the centre of a storm in a big gay teacup lately.

    With her show ‘Drag Race’ no longer having the term “She-Mail” included in it and the annoyance of some within the LGBT community at her casual use of the word ‘tranny’, RuPaul has been biting back. I have to say that I agree with her.

    I’ve never seen RuPaul’s Drag Race, but I am aware of the show and its content. I wonder how many people getting annoyed at the use of the term ‘She-Mail’ and the word ‘tranny’ have actually watched it and seen the context in which those words are used. The word tranny has long been used to describe transvestites and Drag Queens; it is not a word that is exclusive to transgender people or even used by transgender people. This is something that those getting annoyed at its use in RuPaul’s show should keep in mind. RuPaul describes herself as a tranny and it is quite apparent that her use of that word and of the term ‘She-Mail’ relates to herself and other Drag Queens, rather than being a slur towards to the transgender community.

    Something that has been bothering me for some time is the way the LGBT community are so quick to turn on each other. Whether it’s the above issue of getting precious over certain words and terms or gay men criticising other gays for the way they look, it’s clear to me that the gay movement is becoming its own worst enemy.

    There are so many horrific things happening around the world, such as the anti-gay regimes in Russia, the new laws in Brunei, and the ongoing persecution of LGBT people in some African countries. Even in our own country there’s still great injustices and the threat from the outside still exists. Rather than infighting we should be focused on what we can achieve together to eliminate that threat.

    Coming back to the policing of words (and it is policing), I really believe that some LGBT people need to lighten up and consider the context that words are used in. I’ll give you an example…

    I was once called a “f**king disgusting queer” by a homophobic man who wanted to beat me up just for being gay. Those words used in that context are offensive and completely unacceptable. However, I have also been called a “queer dear” by one of my friends. The word ‘queer’ is used in both of those examples, but only one is offensive and that is because of the context it is used in.

    I’ve spoken to transgender friends of mine about this and the feeling among them is that the word tranny doesn’t apply to them and they are not offended when somebody uses the word in reference to Drag Queens or transvestites. It is only when they are called trannies that it becomes offensive. Again it comes back to the context in which words are used.

    I truly believe in people being able to identify in any way they want and use any words they choose as long as it’s in a positive and empowering context. Just because some in the transgender community don’t like the word ‘tranny’ or the term ‘She-Mail’ being used towards them it shouldn’t mean that RuPaul or anyone else isn’t allowed to apply those words to themselves or others who identify with it.

    There are more shocking and pressing matters in the world that we should be focusing on instead of policing the words that others in our LGBT community use. Otherwise there is a real risk of the ‘gay movement’ eating itself from the inside. RuPaul, I salute you for speaking the truth.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Are we to quick to slut shame?

    Slut, tramp, whore, slag, trollop, floozy, tart, Ho, skank, Loose, easy. All words that we use to describe someone of who is perceived as sexually promiscuous.

    Except we are not describing we are judging. We are perceiving someone that has sex and labelling them.
    Of course most times these descriptions were traditionally assigned to women. This is because a long time ago some men created a double standard. Men were allowed to enjoy sex, indeed virility was celebrated and seen as a positive thing.

    Last year it was okay to be Robin Thicke but not Miley Cyrus It’s based on hypocrisy. Sadly this practice has carried through to present day with some cultures even still practising female circumcision. As we are still living in a heteronormative society, we all grew up here and learnt these rules early on, so of course we carried over the practice into the gay world. We are still men after all.

    We need to stop the practice of slut-shaming.

    Why does the number of sexual partners someone has make any difference? If we are all still men then why does the double standard still exist? I speak from a position of being single for a long time and people having that perception of me to being in a relationship in present day? Have I changed as a person? No my circumstances have. But because I have a partner, I am suddenly viewed as acceptable.

    Do we slut shame because we perceive people as a threat? I mentioned the heteronormative world before, the acceptable thing for us to do is to grow up, find someone you love, settle down and have kids.

    Obviously biologically we have to skip the last step naturally, does the fear come from someone that has chosen to live outside the mainstream? Is it the same prejudice that used to apply to us being gay 50 years ago? Is the threat of the single sexually confident man about the fact they may tempt and seduce our partners away? We have to act pre-emptivly and attack them and let them know their place.

    We are deciding that they have loose morals and dismissing them. We have reduced them as to their sex life. We don’t care about them as a person. We disregard their hopes, dreams, career and more importantly we take away their voice. We assume that they simply live their lives that way because they are only interested in hedonism. For some people that may be true however for others it may be that they are doing it because they confuse sex with love. If a man will sleep with them they must desire them and love them on some level. This was certainly not my experience; sex is a basic human need and right. In this day and age nobody should care about your sex life as long as you respect your own body and health.

    The gay world we are subject to hyper-sexualised imagery. Bars are promoted by attractive men in their underwear and little else; the magazines we buy are filled with adverts for chat lines, saunas, escorts and porn. For most of our early lives we repressed our sexual desires only to come out and be told you can look but don’t touch. Slut shaming is not healthy, useful or productive for anyone. It feeds the fears of the people doing it and degrades the victim. As a minority that faces prejudice already we should know better.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | It’s time to have gay sex ed at school

    At my school, we hardly received a decent sexual education. The meagre things we were taught – were all about reproduction. You know the story; when a man and a woman love each-other very much etc. At one point they had a group of people come in to teach us all about the many many joys of celibacy (I know, I know)

    This was at a catholic school however, and I can’t say the same of all schools, some of you might have been wonderfully informed about the delicious details of sex.

    Even so, I found that when indeed we did speak about sex in school, it was all about sex between a man and a woman (Quite often married).

    There was nothing that I could remember about intercourse that takes place between two men, or even two women for that matter.

    Believe it or not, when the celibacy buffs asked my classmates why people had sex, the only answer they got was: “To make babies”.

    I mean, really!?

    While this did provide us with the most basic knowledge of the mechanics of sex, there was little else for us to go on. It was almost as if the teachers were just sticking their fingers in their ears and singing.

    There was little explained about STIs, condoms, rape or unplanned pregnancies (Though being gay, I can’t say I cared about the fourth).

    This leads me onto another point; young gay people are not just realising that they’re gay at the age of 22.

    People are coming out young and they’re so ill informed about sex, it’s staggering. Luckily, I had older friends, and was rather well informed by them, and so I knew about using condoms, avoiding STIs and where to go if indeed I did think I’d contracted something from someone, however, this is sadly not always the case.

    For reasons unexplained, there was next to nothing told to us on the reasons for sex, such as love, lust, revenge on an ex or just plain old self esteem issues. It seems that young people were just having sex purely because their friends claimed they were all doing it. There was very little said on how we value ourselves and whether we were only having sex because we wanted to prove that we were likeable, which I think is quite upsetting.

    In a society that allows young people to be exposed to sexual images in the time it takes to click a mouse, and where persons on television and magazines are almost exclusively all bronze, buff gods and goddesses, is it truly wise to not teach young people to value themselves as an individual as well as in relationships?

    Thankfully, I had the nouse to look for this information myself, and grew to love and accept myself as an individual and have sex for the right reasons. Sadly though, many young gay men and women are not so well informed, and they can often go on to contract diseases, get raped, and in extreme cases die because of needless ignorance.

    Sexually transmitted diseases are not about to just go away, and nor will gay people. It is about time some changes were made to arm young gay people against the dangers of unsafe sex, and some care given to them so that they learn to love themselves before they consider engaging in intercourse. While the good people in the labs are working night and day to better be able to deal with disease, I think it’s high time the classroom started talking about gay sex.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | Our Gay Wedding: The Musical – A Cringey Cliché Too Far?

    OMG… OMG! From the first utterance of those words at the beginning of Our Gay Wedding: The Musical, I knew that it was going to be just as awful as I was expecting it to be. Featuring the marriage of Ben and Nathan, I feared that showing something like this on television would reinforce stereotypes and not do our cause any good. Sadly I feel I have been proven correct.

    It’s the reinforcement of stereotypes that is my biggest bug bear with the show. For so long there has been a struggle for acceptance, both socially and legally. Barriers have been broken down through those struggles. We have gone from being considered illegal to now being able to marry. There are now more positive and realistic representations of gay people in the public eye instead of the usual camp clichés of yesteryear and that has gone some way in changing the public’s perception of homosexuals. I see that as a massive step in the right direction.

    I recently wrote about the battle for social equality now that we pretty much have full legal equality. I feel that battle is not going to be won with shows like this taking place. All this wedding will do is show gay people to be fabulous, camp stereotypes. That really isn’t the case. We are not all fabulous and most of us are not that camp.

    While I will always defend someone’s right to live in the way they choose, I have to question why Ben and Nathan chose to conduct their wedding in this way. I would be interested to know whether they considered the bigger picture and how it could lead to gay people being perceived in a negative way.

    My opinion is that Our Gay Wedding: The Musical has done us no favours whatsoever, but part of me also has to admire Ben and Nathan. A lot of hard work and effort clearly went into the show. To write, produce and co-ordinate something like this would take meticulous planning and I can only applaud the happy couple on that front. I also thought it was a good call to have a section on gay history and the journey to where we are now. However, despite those positives, the show really wasn’t my thing. It made me cringe. I’m already receiving messages from straight people I know saying how fabulous it was and how the now married couple are so cute, as if objects rather than people.

    I do wish Ben and Nathan all the happiness in the world, though. In the same way that I wish every gay couple getting married all the happiness they deserve. As the happy couple put it themselves, love is everyone. It’s a sentiment I entirely agree with.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION: Cure Me I’m Gay – A Reflection

    Channel Four aired “Cure me, I’m gay” in which Dr Christian Jessen went undercover to see what gay conversion therapies are offered.

    Over the course of the programme we saw him vomiting over himself, using self-help techniques, attend an exorcism and colour in a brain with wax crayons to show where his same sex desires lay. Predictably the explanations offered were around that all gay men have a distant father or were abused as a child. By the end of the programme, the good doctor retook a test to see where his sexual attraction was. He was still 100% gay.

    Conversion therapy has been around in many forms and for as long as therapy itself. Previously electro shock therapy and aversion therapy were the most well-known forms. It speaks volumes that the American Psychiatric Association, UK council for psychotherapy and the BACP have all spoken out against the so called “reparative” therapies in the past.

    In 2012 the British association of Counsellors and psychotherapist’s chose to write directly to its members to advise that it now opposes ‘any psychological treatment such as ‘reparative’ or ‘conversion’ therapy which are based upon the assumption that homosexuality is a mental disorder, or based on the premise that the client/patient should change his/her sexuality.’

    As this is the largest professional body of psychotherapists it was an important move and showed that as an industry, therapists were opposed to any kind of therapy that does not respect and support sexual orientation.

    In the past there have been some pretty horrific examples of conversion therapy:

    • In 2012, GP Marc Craddock, a doctor in Sydney Australia was struck off for prescribing a chemical castration drug for use as a gay cure to an 18 year old man.
    • In 2012, Lesley Pilkington, a Christian psychotherapist appealed against a BACP ruling that she was negligent for offering to change a client’s sexuality.
    • Dr Paul Miller would encourage clients to become sexually aroused in therapy sessions and believed that all homosexuality stemmed from the lack of a father figure. He previously ran the Abeo umbrella organisation for therapists looking to practise gay conversion therapy
    • During an undercover investigation back in 2010 for the Independent, reporter Patrick Studwick was told that it was “very Likely” that he had been abused as child and this had caused his homosexuality, oh and AIDS can be cured by prayer.
    These are the types of people that say that I’m mentally ill or under a prolonged psychosis.

    I think it is worth revisiting Freud at this point. Sigmund Freud is of course the founding father of psychiatry. In 1935, a mother wrote to him asking him to cure her son’s sexuality. Freud’s response was:

    “Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation; it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function, produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. Many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them. (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime –and a cruelty, too.”

    As a therapist myself I find it abhorrent that in 2014 reparative therapy is still offered. To think that clients who are clearly suffering from a huge amount of shame and guilt over their sexuality that they would go to a therapist is heart-breaking.

    To think they are delivered to a therapist who would not help and support them in their journey towards self-acceptance but instead strengthen the belief that something is wrong angers me more than I can ever express. The programme certainly offered some good discussion but all in all just highlighted that conversion therapy is flawed and shows no evidence of being effective, helpful or of any value to those undertaking it.

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