Slut, tramp, whore, slag, trollop, floozy, tart, Ho, skank, Loose, easy. All words that we use to describe someone of who is perceived as sexually promiscuous.

Except we are not describing we are judging. We are perceiving someone that has sex and labelling them.
Of course most times these descriptions were traditionally assigned to women. This is because a long time ago some men created a double standard. Men were allowed to enjoy sex, indeed virility was celebrated and seen as a positive thing.

Last year it was okay to be Robin Thicke but not Miley Cyrus It’s based on hypocrisy. Sadly this practice has carried through to present day with some cultures even still practising female circumcision. As we are still living in a heteronormative society, we all grew up here and learnt these rules early on, so of course we carried over the practice into the gay world. We are still men after all.

We need to stop the practice of slut-shaming.

Why does the number of sexual partners someone has make any difference? If we are all still men then why does the double standard still exist? I speak from a position of being single for a long time and people having that perception of me to being in a relationship in present day? Have I changed as a person? No my circumstances have. But because I have a partner, I am suddenly viewed as acceptable.

Do we slut shame because we perceive people as a threat? I mentioned the heteronormative world before, the acceptable thing for us to do is to grow up, find someone you love, settle down and have kids.

Obviously biologically we have to skip the last step naturally, does the fear come from someone that has chosen to live outside the mainstream? Is it the same prejudice that used to apply to us being gay 50 years ago? Is the threat of the single sexually confident man about the fact they may tempt and seduce our partners away? We have to act pre-emptivly and attack them and let them know their place.

We are deciding that they have loose morals and dismissing them. We have reduced them as to their sex life. We don’t care about them as a person. We disregard their hopes, dreams, career and more importantly we take away their voice. We assume that they simply live their lives that way because they are only interested in hedonism. For some people that may be true however for others it may be that they are doing it because they confuse sex with love. If a man will sleep with them they must desire them and love them on some level. This was certainly not my experience; sex is a basic human need and right. In this day and age nobody should care about your sex life as long as you respect your own body and health.

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The gay world we are subject to hyper-sexualised imagery. Bars are promoted by attractive men in their underwear and little else; the magazines we buy are filled with adverts for chat lines, saunas, escorts and porn. For most of our early lives we repressed our sexual desires only to come out and be told you can look but don’t touch. Slut shaming is not healthy, useful or productive for anyone. It feeds the fears of the people doing it and degrades the victim. As a minority that faces prejudice already we should know better.

 

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Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.