Category: In The Know

Is it normal to bleed after anal sex?

Myths persist – but here’s what you need to know if you’re bleeding after anal sex.

(C) BIGSTOCK / Depositphotos

Anal sex can be an integral part of a sexual relationship, but not all couples do it – however, there’s a lot of wrong information out there about bottoming.

Bleeding after anal sex can be just ‘one of those things’ and can happen on your first go round or your 100th – so to put your mind and butt at rest, here’s why it happens.

Tiny rips happen

Your rectum is not self-lubricating, so unless you’re using lube, you’re going to be creating a lot of friction, which can cause the lining of the rectum to tear or rip a little, if this sounds hideous, it might be worth noting that most of these rips are tiny – and can actually happen outside of sex as well. These rips can cause bleeds – and most probably you’ve had bleeds but never realised it.

It happens because the lining of your rectum is not as strong as your normal skin.

Also, anal sex could also be causing what is known as an anal fissure. Anal fissures are tiny rips that can happen both on the inside and on and around your actual hole – especially if you’re not relaxed or have not loosened yourself up before the main event. These can heal all by themselves within a few weeks.

The P Word…

Another issue is the dreaded P word – yes piles.

Bleeds may be caused by popping a pile or if we’re going to be medical about it, haemorrhoids. Piles are completely normal and are the enlargement of a blood vessel that already exists inside your butt. You might not even know you have one until it pops during sex.

Some people have visible piles on the outside of the anus, whilst some have them on the inside.

There’s no evidence to show that having anal sex causes piles but it can inflame the issue.

Jose Perez de la Cruz from THT told us, “So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.

“So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which is exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.

If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.

When should I seek help?

If you are experiencing a lot of pain or prolonged aching after sex you might need to seek medical help. It is normal for there to be some discomfort for a day after, especially after your first time. However, if pain continues you should go and see your GP or book yourself into a sexual health clinic.

If there is a lot of blood (think steady drip rather than a bit of spotting on your toilet paper) you should go and see your doc ASAP.

Dr Shawn Khodadadian, a board-certified gastroenterologist in Manhattan, is cautioning people against ignoring rectal bleeding. He warns that rectal bleeding could be a sign of other, far more serious illness such as colorectal or colon cancer. He said,

“as there are many possible causes and getting an early diagnosis is particularly important. This is because although rectal bleeding can be a symptom of haemorrhoids, colitis or anal fissures, it can also be a sign of a far more serious illness for example colorectal or colon cancer. These types of cancers can often be completely cured when detected early.”

You’re gonna need lube and lots of it

So the best way to stop the friction is to use lube a lot of it. You can find out about the different types of lube here. If you’re having a long session – they don’t forget to keep reapplying the lube or use a silicone-based lube, which should last a lot longer.

Remember, despite what you see in gay porn, you can just ram it in. You need to take your time, use lube and go an inch at a time!

Good luck and have fun!

30th August 2017
What is a bottom in gay sex?

So here we are: gay sex 101.

What or who is a Bottom in terms of gay sex?

Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub with in sex.

So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.

More recently, when Nurse Jackie star, Haaz Sleiman came out as gay he totally owned the bottom thing saying, “Not only am I a bottom, but I’m also a total bottom, which means I like it up you-know-where.”

Other wise you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)

Apparently, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached to being a bottom. A survey found sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren’t sure if there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex. Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

What is a Power Bottom?

Power Bottoms are those who dominate in sex but are those who enjoy receiving anal sex – or someone who can power through and take the *D* for a long time.

Those who like being both a top and the bottom are usually referred to as “vers” which means versatile. The terms tops, bottoms and vers have been around for a long time, but have become increasingly popular since the dawn of internet dating and apps.

Guys who like to bottom are usually great at keeping things clean and hygienic down there. Want to know more? You can read our tips on what to eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight or how to prep yourself like a porn star!

What are bottom myths?

Bottoms aren’t (necessarily)

Effeminate

Slutty

They want it all the time

Don’t feel the pain

Totally sub

So there you have it – got tips or something to add? Use the comment section below…

29th August 2017
What is a glory hole?

Have you heard the term glory hole but not sure what it is?

A glory hole is a slang term mostly used in the gay cruising world. A glory hole, simply put, is a hole in a wall, door or partition, usually in a public toilet, where a man could put his penis through in order to be relieved by whoever was the other side. Glory holes are usually to be found in men’s public toilets and comes from the days of cottaging, which is a term coined to describe anonymous sex between men in public toilets.

Most glory holes are rush made in the partitions between toilet stalls, most likely made with pen knives or another handy tool.

Both men, the giver and receiver of oral sex would be hidden from view from each other which adds anonymity to both parties, especially is one or neither are out as gay or bisexual.

A glory hole can also be used for anal penetration too.

The anonymity of glory holes to some, adds eroticism to the situation, but it does have its drawbacks especially when it comes to sexual health and personal safety. The use of condoms is advised to stop STIs such as herpes, HIV and Gonorrhea but not always acted upon.

The use of glory holes in not illegal in the UK, if the glory hole is in a private residence or a gay sauna/bathhouse. Sex in public toilets is illegal. You can find out more about the legal situation of cottaging in this article.

Local councils or public toilet operators do mend found holes, usually with a sheet of metal to cover the hole from both sides.

It is not known who created the first glory hole or in which country it first originated if you can help with this information please use the comment box below.

Have you ever used one? Use the comment box below to add your story.

19th July 2017
Who’s paid more in gay adult films? The Tops or bottoms?

We spoke with a number of adult stars who work in the adult film industry to ask the questions we were just burning to ask. One of those questions was whether bottoms earn more than tops in scenes

So, imagine if you will, you’re a bottom in a scene, you’ve got a lot more prep to do to make sure you’re ready for the scene and make extra special preparations so you don’t have an awkward accident mid-scene. We’ve been told that you have to be careful with your diet as well as keeping a healthy lifestyle. Mexican food is apparently the worst!

You’ve also got to be able to take a pounding for hours. One star told us that filming a scene could take up to five hours. Ouch.

So we put the question to those who identified as bottoms or versatile in the industry and asked whether they get paid more than their partners. Sebastian Evan who has worked for Blakemason and Brit Hard Lads, told us, “I always bottom and I ONLY bottom. And no, we do not get paid more”. Michael Lachlan agreed and added, “I don’t see why they would. The top has to put in a lot of effort and a lot of cardio into a sex scene it is actually very tiring”.

Edwin Skyes added that it was pretty much a “myth” in the industry that a bottom would get paid for a scene.

Jonny Kingdom, who has starred in films for Blakemason and GuysInSweatPants.com elaborated on the payment for scenes, he said, “Most of us are self- employed and model fees are different for everyone”. However unlike the other stars, he also revealed that he does get paid more for being a bottom.

So whilst most performers don’t get paid more for the role they take in the scene, it’s not unheard of that a star could get paid more for being a bottom.

5th July 2017
What’s it like to go to a gay sauna for the first time?

What’s it like to go to a sauna for the first time?

Well, it’s quite liberating if l am honest. Admittedly this wasn’t a sauna in the UK. It was one we found on a trip to Milan, Italy and Il have only every tried it the once.

If what had gone on was an indication of what Brexit would be to the UK then I can tell you we would have got f*cked by the Italians, fingered by the French and the British would have stood around talking.

However, at the time of the event, there was no such talk of Brexit.

During the evening I had done wonders for Britain in the EU. Let me explain. It’s quite daunting at first. I am/was at the time still quite naive.

It was the year 2000. I had only been out for about 4 years and was on a little paid for jolly by a well known UK pizza company with an ex-boyfriend and good friend, his partner and a friend who you could quite easily smother with a pillow because he made all sorts of random noises at night time.

Having spent the day at Alfa Romeo (I write about cars, give me a break) and lusting madly after the Alfasud, we headed to a sauna in the evening. You would think that the language barrier would have been difficult for a Brit who could order a Big Mac and fries in French and nothing in Italian. Well, think again.

The language of sex is simple. Point, pull and force. You point to the person within the area you are in. You pull them to a private room and you force them onto your cock. In this case, the young Italian man had the upper hand. He was cute, we spoke not one word of understandable language and we had sex.

He waved his erect penis at me in the private room that was no more than a toilet cubicle with a medical type examination couch in and we did the deed, hooded for safety. Later that evening I caught up with the Brits. In this case, the ex in the hot tub. He had suggested we start something off to get it rolling. I then stopped him to say I had already been involved in something. So off to the steam room we head.

A French man is standing nearby. His English isn’t too bad. In fact, it’s quite good, better English that any I have heard on the Jeremy Kyle show.

“I like to finger” in any accent is pretty much the same. Outside the steam room, he fingers and all of a sudden a strapping Italian man lifts up his towel and pushes my mouth over his hard cock.

I reciprocate and perform oral sex on the man of no name. The event comes to an end and we all go our separate ways home.

England, France and Italy. It was an event as you can see I still have fond memories 17 years later. I am yet to step into one again. I think it would be quite hard to match this. I did try a men-only club in London recently, however, it just wasn’t the same. I am (we hope) taking the Fiat X1/9 to Italy in October and passing through Turin.

Who knows but I’d quite like to revisit a foreign sauna again.

2nd April 2017
So what’s it actually like to work out naked in a room full of other naked guys?

Yeah, it’s a thing. Exercising and group training in the buff is a relatively new concept (no, those “squats” you’ve been doing do not count as training) and NKD Training’s founder Paul was kind enough to invite me along to try it out.

I’ll be honest, this whole endeavour started as an excuse to ogle hot guys working out veiled under the thin disguise of journalism. As the day of my naked group training drew closer I began to have some serious doubts. What if the group was full of creepy fat old men? Or worse, what if it was full of hot young men and that I would actually be the creepy fat old man?! As it turns out, there was a healthy mix of both. NKD Training is run at the Gym Clinic in West London, a small but well equipped (that’s what they say about me … sorry, too many penis jokes) gym not far from Gunnersbury tube station. The main entrance is closed off during naked training so you have to enter through the back door (not saying a word) into the clean and professional workout space. That just happens to be full of naked men exercising.

The session is divided into two parts: the first is an hour of free gym time in which you are invited to use the facilities as and how you want, dressed in as little as you want – as long as you’re wearing trainers. You can wear shorts during this time, as I did, but you will be silently yet harshly judged by the guys training in the altogether.

The second half of the session is similar to a circuit class, during which Paul takes you through a warm up – set to your favourite drag queen lip sync music – and then through a solid 45-minute workout. Newcomers are likely to feel strange and probably a bit uncomfortable when first stripping off, but after a while of lunging and crunching and curling, you almost forget that your dick is hanging out while you do it. Almost.

There were some aspects to naked training that were more complicated than I had anticipated. Running on a treadmill was obviously more uncomfortable than I’m used to, but trying to do squats without giving the guy behind you an eyeful of ass-crack, that was damn near impossible.

I can certainly see the appeal of naked training and, as Paul explains, the benefits of a personal trainer are significant. “As a trainer, there are a lot of benefits. I can see more of the muscles that are working and I can see if there’s an imbalance, say when they’re doing a chest press. You don’t just see the bar moving, you see the muscles that are working, the ones that aren’t and the ones that should be. And it builds a bond, being naked. I don’t know how to explain it.”

It was definitely a unique experience for me, but one that I really wanted try. Not so much to see hot naked guys (again, yes there are plenty of them there) but to come more to terms with my own nakedness. Gay men are often plagued with insecurities about our bodies and the act of stripping off completely in a bold attempt to better yourself takes balls and not just the ones on display.

For most of the men in that room, being naked was the most normal and natural thing in the world. It was the realisation that whether your body is perfect or not, it’s the only one that you’ve got. So learn to love it while you work to make it better. And go on, have a sneak peak at yourself training naked in the mirror. You may be more impressed than you thought.

NKD Training takes place every Sunday in West London and costs £15 per session.

You can also book naked personal training sessions either in your home or Paul’s.

Contact paul@nkdtraining.co.uk or visit nkdtraining.co.uk for more information and to book.

29th March 2017
Do bottoms get paid more than tops in gay porn?

We spoke with a number of adult stars who work in gay porn to ask the questions you were dying to know. One of those questions was whether bottoms earn more than tops in scenes.

So, imagine if you will, you’re a bottom in a scene, you’ve got a lot more prep to do to make sure you’re ready for the scene and make extra special preparations so you don’t have an awkward accident mid-scene. We’ve been told that you have to be careful with your diet as well as keeping a healthy lifestyle. Mexican food is apparently the worst!

You’ve also got to be able to take a pounding for hours. One star told us that filming a scene could take up to five hours. Ouch.

So we put the question to those who identified as bottoms or versatile in the industry and asked whether they get paid more than their partners. Sebastian Evan who has worked for Blakemason and Brit Hard Lads, told us, “I always bottom and I ONLY bottom. And no, we do not get paid more”. Michael Lachlan agreed and added, “I don’t see why they would. The top has to put in a lot of effort and a lot of cardio into a sex scene it is actually very tiring”.

Edwin Skyes added that it was pretty much a “myth” in the industry that a bottom would get paid for a scene.

Jonny Kingdom, who has starred in films for Blakemason and GuysInSweatPants.com elaborated on the payment for scenes, he said, “Most of us are self- employed and model fees are different for everyone”. However unlike the other stars, he also revealed that he does get paid more for being a bottom.

So whilst most performers don’t get paid more for the role they take in the scene, it’s not unheard of that a star could get paid more for being a bottom.

27th March 2017
What is a “Platinum Gay”

Ever heard the expression “he’s a platinum gay?”

No, he’s not a blonde bombshell.

Well, for those of you who have and are wondering what exactly a “Platinum Gay” is we’ve got the answer.

So according to one source, a “platinum gay” is a man who has never kissed, touched or had any sexual contact with a woman.

In fact, the Urban Dictionary goes as far as to suggest that a true “Platinum” is a guy who was born by caesarian section so has never had contact with any vagina.

However, some may find the term offensive as it could possibly denote that a man who hasn’t ever touched female genitalia is somehow better than someone who identifies with the same sexuality, which is clearly crazy talk. Your gayness is just as good as everybody elses!

We had no idea that we could be arranged by precious metals but there you go.

1st November 2016
Popular and Secret UK Nude Beaches

Looking for the best nudist beach in the UK?

When searching for a nudist beach, minds often wander to a warmer, more ‘European’ environment. Where banana hammocks are frequently discarded in favour of sunning those few parts that were left to the imagination. But you don’t have to travel that far to get some sun on your privates at a not-so-private locale, there are plenty of nude beaches right here in the UK.

We have nude beaches in the UK? Really? All I can think about is the amount of unflattering shrinkage that will be occurring. But for those of you who enjoy shedding your clothes and parking your posterior on pebbles WHATEVER the weather, there are a surprising number of nudist beaches right here in the UK for you to explore.

Just remember that not all nudist beaches are gay beaches, and not all gay nudist beaches are ok with other “activities”. A nudist beach is not always an excuse to go dogging.

Studland Bay, Dorset

Let’s start with the most (in)famous nudist beach in the UK. Studland Beach has the image of naked men baked right into the title. The popular beach is packed come summertime, whether or not the weather is hot, so this is not the beach to come to if you’re looking for peace and solitude. The shy nudists out there might be better off trying a different beach if you’re still precarious about stripping off.

Studland Bay has a dedicated gay section which, whether you like it or not, has unsurprisingly become a popular cruising ground. Many voyeurists take to the dunes for a little slap and tickle of the bait and tackle before taking a cheeky skinny dip in the sea.

Brighton Beach, Sussex

Originally opened in 1979, Brighton’s nudist beach is one of the most popular and most accessible nudist beaches in the UK. And since it’s Brighton and involves public nudity, the beach is hugely popular within the gay community. Despite the fact that the beach itself is one of shingle and pebbles, it remains one of the UK’s busiest naturist spots. So be sure to bring flip-flops and particularly comfortable towel if you’re planning on sunning your bits in Brighton.

Porthzennor Cove, Cornwall

If you’re looking for something more secluded, and perhaps a little more comfortable and beach-like, then it’s time to head to Cornwall. Britain’s best beaches are tucked away at its southernmost point, many of which are treacherously difficult to access. The rugged beauty of the West Cornwall coastline makes it ideal for naturists, populated with plenty of little coves and rocks that are perfect for sunbathing in your birthday suit. Though naturism is not officially recognised down there, you’ll be sure to come across many isolated coves whose seclusion makes them well-suited for nudists.

Porthzennor is one of the coastline’s secluded sandy coves that is difficult to get to but ensures that there won’t be any passers-by that will be shocked to see your white bits. The crashing cliffs cleave open to reveal several corners of private sand that make an ideal private beach for two (or more). Just be careful when swimming as there are often strong undertows, and the closest land from there is the USA.

St Osyth, Essex

Nude beaches in Essex just seems to be asking for trouble to me. I mean how many people try to tan in the land of fake tan? But low and behold St Osyth exists, not far from Clacton-on-sea, in the heart of good ole Essex beach country. The beach itself is a bugger to get to, taking about 20 minutes to walk to from the nearest car park. So while this makes access difficult for the more “mature naturist”, it also discourages snoopers.

The beach itself is about 2 miles long and isn’t overlooked, with about 1 or 2 miles of ground between it and the nearest road or track. St Osyth is unofficially divided into three different sections: one for straight naturists, one for men only, and then one populated by sand dunes. The latter part has been known to be something of a “swinging” area, but again that’s all just luck of the draw and who’s around on that day.

Morfa Ganol, Wales

Wales?! I know, first Essex now Wales, but hear me out. What the Welsh coast lacks in warmth, it makes up for with incredible landscapes to go with your manscapes (I’m running out of naked men jokes here). While you’ll need to pack a pair of walking boots to actually get to Morfa Ganol, you won’t need to wear anything else once you get there. The blissful beach is backed by the Snowdonia National Park, which means it’s pristine clear (albeit slightly chilly) waters are so clean they have earned the highest quality rating by European standards. Waters which are frequented by dolphins and the occasional German nudist. High praise from both.

Cleat’s Shore, Isle of Arran

So at this point in the list, we’ve all but abandoned the idea of a hot sandy beach in favour of whatever else UK beaches have to offer. So in for a penny, in for a pound, and let’s get naked on the brisk beaches of Scotland.

Cleat’s Shore is Scotland’s only official nude beach, and despite that impressive title, it is almost always empty. This makes it a great spot for our first time naturists. You’re far more likely to spend your time conversing with nature rather than other couples. But you won’t be the only nudists on the beach; seals are common in the area, so at least you’ll be skinnier than someone.

Throw in some rock pools, basking sharks and the occasional golden eagle, and Cleat’s Shore is a nude beach with a difference, which, let’s face it, is probably a good thing.

So don’t write off the UK as a great place to strip off. Yes the water may be colder, but the experience may be all the richer because of it. Have you been to any secret or beautiful nude beaches in the UK? Let us know all about them in the comments section below.

Thanks for reading!

26th October 2016
What’s it like getting a Back, Sack and Crack wax by a perfect stranger

We sent brave Aaron Holloway to get waxed. Firstly we wanted to know how much it hurt and secondly we wanted to know what it was like to have a perfect stranger fiddle about with your junk.

CREDIT: Dmytro-Sidelnikov-bigstock (FILE PHOTO)

Looking for that “perfect” no hair look – then a professional wax might just be the ticket.

It was a surprisingly sunny morning in London when I arrived at the Chelsea office of Wax in the City.

The front desk assistant was especially friendly, helping me with a place to store my many bags since I had just arrived from the airport. Wax in the City has a drop-in style service, so you don’t need to bother with an appointment, and the wait time was short when I arrived.

I had just enough time to catch my breath and have a nice cold, albeit super wanky lemonade at a local café (where I was later informed the real housewives of Chelsea – apparently that’s a thing – meet for brunch or whatever) before I was called in to see my expert ‘Depiladora’ (Wax in the City’s own word for their hair removal experts).

My Depiladora was a very friendly young lady, who made me feel very comfortable before leaving the room so I could undress and lie on the table. I was there to have my back waxed, so I wasn’t expecting it to be too painful. The process used by Wax in the City was different to my previous experience with waxing strips. Here they use a larger patch of hardening wax, which is removed after a few minutes of cooling. This process allows for larger areas to be waxed than cloth strips, and this means less time, and less pain overall. I was informed that they use different waxes for different areas, so if you have a more sensitive region done, you may have another type of wax applied.

During the process we chatted about what she was doing to me, and how long she’s be working there. I got the feeling that I was the only chatty-Cathy because there seemed to be a lot of silence coming from the other booths in the salon. Perhaps we were alone, or maybe women just don’t like to chat while they’re having hair ripped out of their naughty-bits. Who knows.

After only about 30 minutes my back was ready to go and I was brushed off and given a few care tips to look after my newly bare back.

Waxing offers a few benefits over shaving in that the regrowth is much longer coming in, and is also softer than shaving stubble. I did notice a slight amount of itching about 3-4 weeks later as the hair began reappearing on my back, but this soon passed and was not as irritable as shaving stubble. The other obvious benefits are that the waxed area is hairless for much longer than shaving, and never has the feeling of dry sand when running your hand over the regrowth when it does come in. The pain is minimal, and worth the results.

Wax in the City in London can be found at 370 King’s Road in Chelsea, SW3 5UZ, and is close to transport stops. They are open every day from 10am to 8pm, except Sundays when they are open from 12 – 5pm.

Not so brave but want to try waxing at home – we’ve got some advice for waxing your bum and your sack.

25th October 2016
ADVICE | How to Wax Your Sack

If you’re hoping for a hairless look around your balls you might want to opt for a waxing…

So if you normally shave your pubic area but you’re wanting a more long-term result you might want to try waxing. There are plenty of salons where you can get a professional to perform a back, sack and crack wax, however, these can tend to be a little expensive. Also, many men might feel intimidated or embarrassed to reveal all to a total stranger, so we asked waxing expert, Fardad Moayeri, the CEO of Parissa, for some top tips on waxing your ball sack in the comfort of your own home.

SPREAD YOUR LEGS

Unless you’ve had anti-wrinkle plastic surgery on your sack, the skin on and around your sack can be quite loose. Waxing loose skin can be painful so the key is to keep the skin extremely taught during hair removal. One of the best ways to do this is to lie on the back and spread your legs open (like a frog laying on it’s back). This will stretch the skin around your sack.

FROM THE OUTSIDE IN

Start waxing from the outside and work your way in. move your sack out of the way of the side you’re working on and flip it over when working on the other side.

AND STRETCH

Hold and flip your sac up for getting the hairs under the sack. When waxing your sack, make sure you’re stretching the skin as much as possible. Try holding your marbles and pulling the skin to one side or the other, this will help keep the skin tight. The tighter the skin… the less the pain!

LIFT AND PART

Hold and flip your sac up for getting the hairs under the sack. When waxing your sack, make sure you’re stretching the skin as much as possible. Try holding your marbles and pulling the skin to one side or the other, this will help keep the skin tight. The tighter the skin… the less the pain!

BLOOD?

Don’t panic if you see pinpoints of blood where your hair has been removed. Pubic hair is coarse and deep rooted. However, if you’re bleeding heavily, go see your doctor.

©-artofphoto-Depositphotos

THREE THINGS TO REMEMBER

1) The key point that makes all the difference: press-on strips IN DIRECTION of hair growth. Zip-off in the OPPOSITE direction of hair growth.

2) The quicker the strip is removed the better the results.

3) If you’ve got long hairs…trim them to about 0.5cm.

We recommend Parissa’s wax strips, which you can buy from Amazon.

8th October 2016