Looking for the best advice on how to bottom - especially for the first time? We asked adult star Kit to give us some insider tips on how to eff like a pro.

We get requests at THEGAYUK about all manner of things, one that is asked a lot is how to bottom.

Well, we’ve enlisted the help of top porn star Kit Wilde to give us some tips on how to make sure you put your best bottom forward and be a bottoming king.

Advice on these sort of subjects is difficult, for the simple reason that sex, like most things, is subjective. I could have sex with a one night stand and think it was pretty average and the following week you could have sex with the same person and think it’s mind-blowing.

There are however a few tips and hints on how to make bottoming easier and more pleasurable, again bare in mind that this is subjective so what works for me might not work for you. The key is to listen to your body!


A douche or an anal enema is a bulb-like product used to clean the anal passage from waste. The enema is used to push water into your anal passage which you then expel repeating until the water being expelled runs completely clean.

You can get a douche for most adult stores (check out THEGAYSHOP) and most of them stock them in various sizes all pretty cheaply enough and if ordering online most stores offer discreet packaging.

Most anal enemas come with directions for use, please read them carefully before use, but generally, these 6 steps should help.


  • Clean the douche well before use with warm soapy water, any muck or grime on it can increase the likelihood of contracting an infection, ensure the douche is clean of any soap as well before use.


  • Fill the device with lukewarm water. Do not use scolding hot water or water with soap in it. Just plain old warm water, test it first, remember this water is going inside you, let’s try and not have a trip to A&E because you’ve scolded your rectum.


  • Lubricate the douche and the anal cavity (that’s your bum hole), this makes it easier to insert, as a side note, your rectal cavity tears easily, so don’t just go shoving it inside you. If you’re struggling to get the flute inside your anus, take your time, relax, reapply more lubrication and try again. Need some lube, check out our selection of lubes.


  • Before you insert the douche, squeeze the bulb to release the air so the water fills the flute, this stops you pushing air into your body and means you won’t end up with trapped wind. Squeeze the bulb with ease allowing the water to fill you.


  • Remove the douche, keeping your grip on it whilst holding the water inside you. DO NOT release your grip on the douche as it’ll suck the water back into the douche. Only when the douche is fully removed from your body relax and release the water (it’s easier and less messy to do this on the toilet).


  • Continue the process until the water remains clear and free from any waste.

Although the use of an anal enema is very helpful in planned situations it’s not very helpful for those spontaneous sexual moments when you just let the mood take you. In times like these, you need to use something you can not buy from a shop.

You need communication, you might think it’s embarrassing to talk about but believe me, it’s far less embarrassing to say “do you know what? I might not be clean” than for your sexual partner to find that out the hard way.

If you’re in doubt take some time and go to the toilet, remember that while the anus and rectum do not usually store faeces, there may be remnants left behind so make sure to thoroughly clean the area around your butt, I’ve found that moist towelettes (baby wipes) really help with this or if you have a little more time maybe try a quick shower.

Now, this is the bit that may make a few people feel gross, but, trust me it’s far less embarrassing you finding something than your sexual partner.

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The Finger Check

You can use your finger to check and see if you feel any remnants inside you, which can be removed pretty quickly. Yes I’m aware I am literally suggesting you pull your poo out with your finger but if you really want to have sex and don’t want your sexual partner to end with a messy penis, cleaning is necessary.

If you do clean yourself out with your fingers though, be sure to wash your hands very thoroughly. I am very aware that the process of cleaning out your ass is embarrassing, but please for the love of Cher talk to your partner about it.

Spontaneous or long-term partner, communication is important as it helps both (or more) of you understand what, if any preparations are needed to be made beforehand, it also lets everyone prepare for any potential accidents that may occur. Be aware that if they do occur, it’s ok, these things do happen just bear in mind that next time you might want to allow for more time to prepare.

Listen to your body

As a final note, remember it’s your body, take your time and enjoy yourself. If you’re not enjoying yourself listen to your body, change position or go a little slower.

Do not be afraid to tell your partner no, or ask them to slow down or even stop. You’re not letting anyone down and you should never feel guilty for having to stop.

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Sometimes your body isn’t ready for sex regardless of the amount of preparation you do, and forcing your body to do it could end very messily. Long-term partner or a one-night fling safe sex is always key, whether you choose to wear a condom or go bareback, make sure you get your sexual health checked on a regular basis and know your status.

Be open and honest with the guy you’re having sex with. Hope this little guide helps. Have fun

by Kit Wilde | @KitWildeXXX

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