THEGAYUK

Category: In The Know

  • Is it safe to use a cucumber for sex without a condom?

    Is it safe to use a cucumber for sex without a condom?

    Some veggies can make for great and super cheap sex toys…

    If you are using a piece of veg and you’re by yourself, it is most likely to be safe without using a condom, with a few provisos.

    Make sure you wash that thing (let’s call it a vegtoy) good and proper. You don’t want to be putting whatever is on the skin of your vegtoy – like insecticides, bacteria from other people’s hands who have touched it first and well, general dirt from the ground that might be left on the veg.

    Once you’ve washed it you’re good to go, after you check that there are no hard edges or pieces that likely to come off.

    NjoyHarmony / Pixabay

    However, if you’re using it with another person – and you’re sharing the vegtoy, then you should, as with any insertable toy you use in anal play, use a condom. One, it helps protect you from sharing any infections the other person may have but, two, it also helps with keeping the toy clean from, well, let’s face it poop if you’re anally inserting.

    Much bigger than you think

    zhivko / Pixabay

    Just remember veggies are often much harder and bigger than you think. In all likelihood If you actually saw a penis the size of a Sainsbury’s organic cucumber, you might run from the room screaming, (although we do like a challenge).

    So take it slow and use lube.

    Another thing to consider is that as certain veg warms up (with your body warmth), a cucumber and definitely a banana will become a bit mushy. If it breaks apart you might have trouble retrieving parts from inside you. If this happens, don’t stress. Smaller parts will eventually come out if you let nature take its course.

    A word of warning: Extreme caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle, a flared base or gives good grip. Many people have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot lodged in their rectums. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated.

    We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

    Most if not all dildos come with a flared base. If you’re looking for an inexpensive dildo, check out the range of dildos at THEGAYSHOP.

    It’s best to use implements that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators.

    If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. Oh did I say use lots of lube…   There are a few types, Water-based, Silicone and even numbing.

    Using food for sex

    vanessaives / Pixabay

    Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

    Have you ever tried “the peach” as made famous in Call Me By Your Name? We’ve put together seven sex scenes from the movies you can try at home.

    Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

    Oh did I say use lots of lube…   

    If you’re looking to insert food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt. Use the ones that you can make yourself with a plastic stick. Store-bought lollipops might have a wood stick, which could leave splinters inside you. Ouch!

    Whatever you’re doing, be creative and have fun!

  • Does numbing lube actually work for anal sex?

    Does numbing lube actually work for anal sex?

    There are a number of products on the market that promise to numb your booty before anal sex… but do they work?

    In a way, yes they do. Well, at least the one I road-tested did!

    I recently tried a numbing lube. As it turns out, it does numb, but is that a good thing?

    There are many reasons why someone might want to try out using a numbing lube. Perhaps you’re scared about your first time, perhaps you just find anal sex too painful, maybe the guy you’re with is packing something extra big, maybe you’re going to be using an extra-large toy.

    Before going down the numbing lube path, you might want to take heed from Doctor Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical who gave a warning against the use of numbing gels or lubes – especially if you’re planning to take something huge up your ass. He said the problem with the numbing lube is that if you’re doing damage to yourself, you might not feel it.

    He said, “A lot of people are using numbing lubricants or poppers or other to relax, and the reality of that, is that it leads to injury because a lot of people don’t feel the trauma happening”.

    But as long as you’re aware of this factor, you should be okay.

    So how to proceed?

    Whats the best numbing lube?
    (C) BIGSTOCK

    I don’t know about you, but I like to warm up first so to speak. Maybe a little toy play by myself before allowing a real-life dick in. I do this so when we get down to it the actual penetration doesn’t take so long – or having that horrendous sharp stabbing pain that you can get if you’re not completely relaxed – it’s a complete mood killer.

    The first time I tried the numbing lube I used it on my fingers first before putting it on the toy, I normally use to get myself ready. It’s worth noting that numbing lube takes a little while to anesthetise the area, around about five to 10 minutes. When I went to put in the toy, I didn’t really feel anything. In fact, it just seemed to slide all the way in.

    The actual sex? Well, it was rougher and I could take it for much longer than usual. All good in my books!

    So do you actually still get pleasure?

    Yes, strangely you do. The G-spot doesn’t seem to be affected by the application of the lube, I guess because it’s not actually exposed to the lube.

    Any downside?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    However, it was afterwards that was most uncomfortable for me. When the numbing wore off. I felt like I had been well and truly rammed by a traffic cone and it lasted for quite a while, whereas normally after anal sex, I don’t get any ache or pain.

    I put this down to the fact that I really hadn’t warmed myself up before. Normally I take things slowly to make sure the muscles are all relaxed.

    So my advice is, to warm yourself up with just normal lube first, then when you feel comfortable, insert the numbing lube up inside you as far as you can get it. You could even try a lube syringe or a lube launcher, which will help place the lube right where it needs to be. You can then also put some on and around your hole to help with getting past the first ring!

    You may want to try and minimise the contact with your top’s penis, however, because if it numbs your ass, it will also numb his dick, so be sure to wear a condom, or first put a layer of non-numbing lube on his dick first before he enters you.

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  • Is it normal to have darkened skin around your anus?

    Is it normal to have darkened skin around your anus?

    But the guys in porn have “perfect” unblemished butts…

    Is it normal to have darkened skin around your asshole
    (C) BIGSTOCK

    In this day and age, where people are airbrushing everything into a smooth paste aren’t we forgetting that natural is beautiful?

    One of the problems with watching porn is that it can give you unrealistic expectations of your own body. Some guys in the porn industry have their bum holes bleached, which is an option if the brown skin around your anus is really bothering you. Also, don’t forget that bright lights can also help even out uneven skin tones.

    Also, there’s a case where some people maybe be embarrassed by the colour of their holes that they don’t actually take the plunge and appear in porn.

    It is completely normal for the skin around your asshole and in the perineum area to be darker, it doesn’t mean that the area isn’t clean and shouldn’t be thought of as shitty or dirty.

    In fact, many guys will find that their scrotum is a slightly different colour to the other parts of their body, it can be darker, lighter or redder than the skin around that area.

    Again this is completely normal.

    So what can you do about it?

    Well, firstly you don’t need to do anything about it. It’s natural… But if it’s really bothering you there a number of options. You can go down the root of anal bleaching.

    There are “at home” offerings although people but also there are saloons and beauty clinics that offer skin bleaching.

  • Where can I buy poppers in London?

    Where can I buy poppers in London?

    If you’re out and about and looking to buy poppers in central London, you can buy from a number of outlets, here’s where.

    CREDIT: TheGayUK

    In central London, particularly in Soho, many of the sex or adult shops sell poppers. If you’re looking for a gay shop to specifically buy poppers from then Prowler, which is located 5-7 Brewer Street and Prowler Red and CloneZone, both of which are on Old Compton Street all stock various brands of poppers.

    It is completely legal to consume and sell poppers in the UK, in 2017 poppers were proven to not be a psychoactive substance and so the government made a U-turn on their decision to outlaw the liquid. If you’re wondering whether poppers are safe to use, then read our advice on them here.

    Of course, you can always buy Poppers online, THEGAYUK’s partner shop sells a variety of brands which can be delivered anywhere in the UK.

  • Are poppers legal to use in the UK?

    Are poppers legal to use in the UK?

    In 2016, the legality of poppers and their use was debated in the UK’s parliament and they nearly became illegal as part of the government’s crackdown on so-called legal highs.

    CREDIT: TheGayUK

    However, Poppers were proven to not be a psychoactive substance and so the government made a u-turn on their decision to outlaw the liquid, meaning it is legal to buy and consume poppers in the UK.

    The psychoactive substance bill which came into affect in April 2018 means that anyone supplying any drugs that provide a psychoactive reaction, unless they’ve been sanctioned, like alcohol and cigarettes by the government, could face some serious jail time – up to 7 years. Poppers were found not to be psychoactive.

    The u-turn came when the government’s own advisory board on drugs issued a report saying that Poppers were not a psychoactive substance.

    Poppers have a long history in the lives of gay men. They are often used during sex and when inhaled can create a head rush, like a “high” and the feeling of muscle relaxation.

  • What’s the best haemorrhoid treatment?

    If you’ve found yourself with haemorrhoids more commonly known as piles here’s the best way to treat them.

    What's the best haemorrhoid treatment?

    Suffering from piles when you’re a bottom or even a power bottom could spell disaster for your sex life. But even if you don’t have anal sex, then piles can be a real pain in the arse (pun unfortunately intended). The fact is that piles or haemorrhoids are a fact of life for many people.

    Piles are caused by swollen veins in the anus. They can be caused by straining when going to the toilet (number two), mainly during constipation or sitting on the loo for too long.

    Many people don’t even know they have them – because they can occur inside your rectum – where you can’t see them.

    When they come out your bottom, that’s when they can become a bit of a problem.

    What's the best haemorrhoid treatment?

    Does anal sex cause piles?

    But before we go on, let’s clear one thing up, they aren’t caused by having anal sex.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz, a Public Health Practitioner at the Terrence Higgins Trust told us, “anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time of intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex”.

    What’s the best way to cure haemorrhoids?

    If you’ve got piles, here are some tips on how to get rid of them.

    Sex

    Firstly, you should probably take a break from receptive anal sex if you’ve got piles. Firstly, depending on how bad your haemorrhoids are, they may burst and cause bloody sheets and lost of blood and could be quite painful. Secondly, if you’re not using condoms and you are not on PrEP, you might be opening yourself up to blood-borne infections and viruses.

    Creams

    The NHS suggests that piles can often clear up by themselves, but there are several treatments that help with discomfort and itching. There are creams and suppositories, which are manually inserted into your arse – which can relieve swelling.

    Jose continues, “I would recommend using Preparation H (under a fiver) or Germoloids (over a fiver) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex, it is also important that you use a good water-based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple people or high-frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused.”

    Jose also suggests if the piles don’t clear up after a while that you book an appointment with your doctor to talk options.

    Diet

    Your diet can play a bit role in helping you clear your piles, particularly if you have constipation. The NHS suggests you should increase fibre in your diet. You should also increase the amount of water you’re consuming and avoid caffeine. If you are constipated your GP may prescribe laxatives to help you poop.

    There are also more intrusive medical ways to rid yourself of haemorrhoids and you can read about them on the NHS website.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to ask your question

  • What is a side? Guys who just who aren’t into bottoming or topping?

    What is a side? Guys who just who aren’t into bottoming or topping?

    Not into topping. Not into bottoming

    What does side mean with gay men
    (C) BIGSTOCK

    There’s a relatively new term for guys who don’t like having anal sex. Yep, guys who aren’t into topping or bottoming. Some are identifying themselves as “sides”.

    Although the term itself is not getting the love it might deserve. As the LGBT+ community expands and adds more identities shouldn’t Sides be getting the recognition they warrant?

    There’s a lot of emphases on anal sex in the gay, bi and curious community. Editor of THEGAYUK.com, Jake Hook says, “We are in a world where we’re expected to make instant proclamations on what we’re into. There’s a lot of pressure to define yourself as one or the other and the assumption that sex has to end up with penetration. Where does that assumption come from?

    “First on the list is gay porn. All scenes tend to end up in anal sex. It’s become the standard.

    “Secondly, the apps we used often ask us to pigeonhole ourselves into tribes including whether we’re tops, bottoms or vers.

    “Thirdly, penetration is the world’s goto sex act – and it’s pretty heteronormative. In media we constantly see people going at it. One moment they are kissing the next he’s whipping off his trousers and she’s hitching her skirt. Straight to the penetration, without too much discussion about the other types of sex you can have.”

    So who or what is a side?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    It’s a guy who’s not into anal sex of any type instead he’ll be into kissing, hugging, oral and other types of sexual activity. Also, guys who cannot have anal sex might be considered a side. For instance, those who have had prostate surgery may not be able to have penetrative sex. It doesn’t mean that sex stops. It changes as prostate cancer campaigner Martin Wells told us.

    So what are the other types of sex you can have without penetration?

    There’s a whole world of sex that doesn’t end up with P in A action. Mutual masturbation, cock2cock frot, frottage, scissoring, oral, rimming, digital penetration, tantric, toy play, role play. Take your pick. All of those can end up with one or both of you climaxing, without the need to put a dick in an ass.

    Where does the term “side” come from?

    It appears that the term “side” was coined by Joe Kort Ph D in an article written for Huffington Post. Unfortunately, the author doesn’t explain the reason behind the word.

    Defining Sideism he said, “Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so”.

  • Can you catch syphilis from oral?

    Can you catch syphilis from oral?

    Syphilis can be spread through all manner of sexual encounters and oral sex is one of them.

    Can you catch syphilis from oral sex
    Bru-nO / Pixabay

    Startling statistics from 2016 show that gay and bisexual men make up 90 percent of new syphilis infections in London and that London’s rate is three times higher than the rest of England – so syphilis is clearly a very infectious disease.

    Syphilis can be spread by vaginal, oral and anal sex or genital contact with an infected person. Most cases of syphilis are treatable with antibiotics and it is preventable through safer sex practices which include using condoms, regularly being tested and avoiding overlapping sexual relationships.

    Speaking to THEGAYUK.com Doctor Rick Viney said, “It’s very easy to contract syphilis in this way (through oral) It will present with an obvious ulcer on a mucosal surface in the mouth but will be painless”.

    How do you know that you have syphilis?

    There are no specific symptoms for syphilis. There will be the presence of one or more painless but highly infectious sores (primary infection) which appear at the site of infection. These sores disappear within two to six weeks in the absence of treatment.

    Secondary symptoms may develop six weeks to six months after the initial sores. Later symptoms are highly variable, but may include a rash on the palms or soles.

    Late syphilis occurs four or more years after an untreated primary infection. Complications may occur in the mucocutaneous tissue, heart, respiratory tract or central nervous system.

    How is syphilis diagnosed?

    Syphilis can be diagnosed via a simple blood test, which can be provided at a sexual health clinic.

    How can you protect against syphilis?

    Syphilis is preventable with the use of condoms when having sex – vaginal, anal and oral. You can use dental dams for oral sex. Regular sexual health screening will also help combat the spread.

     

     

  • Do gay men need to wear tampons?

    Do gay men need to wear tampons?

    There are so many questions that people have, especially when their information comes through the grapevine. So rather than letting myth turn to fact, we’ll answer them for you.

    Do gay men need to wear tampons or adult diapers? Where to begin. Do you mean receptive gay men? I.e. Bottoms? Because you know it’s not just gay men who bottom. Ever heard of pegging?

    So the question is more likely to be: “Do people who have anal sex need to wear tampons?” And the answer is nope. Not if you’re doing it right. Yes, there is a right and a wrong way of having anal sex. Misinformation and myths like this can lead to the idea that you can tell if a guy is straight or gay by giving him an anal examination. This sometimes happens in countries where homosexuality is illegal.

    We’ve all heard the story of the guy that had anal sex so much that he couldn’t control his bowels and so he needed to wear a tampon to stop the poop. Whether this guy actually existed we’ll never know, maybe he did. But guys who are having regular receptive sex shouldn’t have any issues in controlling their bodily functions.

    What is regular anal sex?

    do gay men have to wear tampons after anal sex

    So what is “regular anal sex”, well it’s important to know two things about up-the-butt sex. Time and Lube are your friends. In fact, they’re best buds.

    One of the most important muscles is your external sphincter. It like the main ring. It’s a powerful muscle that stops stuff from getting out (and in) but like any muscle, it can be damaged (and even better strengthened).

    This and the lining of the rectum are delicate and if you’re too rough or haven’t prepared yourself properly, well you can cause yourself damage, which is why it’s important to communicate how you’re feeling with your “top”.

    Doctor Rick Viney, a consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, told us that “Rapidly and forcefully overstretching the anus can tear the anal sphincter which can result in the need for surgical repair. The sphincter can be gently dilated over a short period of time using devices like a plug or a gradual increase in the number of fingers inserted.”

    The butt, will after dilation return to its normal size shortly after sex. If you’ve done something more extreme, like fisting, it may take a longer time to go back to normal.

    But what if you have lots and lots of anal sex.

    Well, regularly having anal sex isn’t really enough for you to need you to wear a tampon. Naturally, if you’re having a lot of sex, you might find your hole does become looser, but you shouldn’t lose control altogether.

    If you do find yourself or feel that you’ve become looser, there are exercises that can help you retain a tight ring. The NHS recommends a series of exercises. In one they suggest engaging your muscles like you are trying to stop a fart. They write,

    “Try squeezing and lifting that muscle as tightly as you can, as if you are worried that you are about to leak. Your buttocks, tummy and legs should not move much at all. You should be aware of the skin around the back passage tightening and being pulled up and away from the chair. Really try to feel this. You are now exercising your anal sphincter”.

    There’s a way of holding that feeling for as long as you can. Like imaging that your sphincter muscle is a lift and that you’re taking it to the fourth floor and holding it while the passengers get out and then back down again.

    If you can’t go to the fourth, try the 2nd!

    You get the idea.

    The best thing about exercising these muscles is that you don’t need an expensive gym membership or even proper work out clothes. You can do them in your car at the traffic lights or on your way to work on the train. No one will know. Unless you turn to your fellow passenger and tell them. We suggest you don’t do this. It might freak them the F out.

  • What is ghosting and why does it happen?

    What is ghosting and why does it happen?

    This brave new world of ours is full of terms and acronyms, but what does Ghosting mean?

    In a world where there’s an acronym or term for everything, Ghosting is where a guy you’ve been chatting to on an app, or even have hooked up with, simply doesn’t return your messages or calls. Not even a tag…

    That’s right, you’ve put in the time, even gone to dinner and then, without explanation he’s gone into the night, like a ghost. Never to be heard of again.

    Bastard.

    What is ghosting? what does ghosting mean?
    pedrofigueras / Pixabay What is ghosting?

    Why does ghosting happen?

    There could be a number of reasons why a guy might suddenly stop messaging you. Perhaps he wasn’t totally up front with you about his personal circumstances, he could be married or in another relationship.

    [totalpoll id=”126850″]

    It could be something you said that really offended him or it could be that he said something that totally embarrassed him, and he’s too ashamed to speak to you again.

    Where can ghosting happen?

    The crazy thing about ghosting is that it can happen IRL and virtually. You can be ghosted on dating apps or on social media. On Grindr, we’ve found that ghosting is quite common. In a recent survey, we found that 88% of Grindr users had said that they had been ghosted on the app.

    Why does ghosting happen?
    StockSnap / Pixabay

    If he’s gone off social media or his dating profile is no longer active, then something even more final could have happened. The problem is that you’ll never know.

    [totalpoll id=”126852″]

    The best thing is to be happy for the time you had together and move on. Don’t live in the past, look to the future.

    Is Ghosting the same as Zombie-ing?

    What is Zombie-ing

    Although they are linked, Ghosting and Zombie-ing are different. Zombie-ing is where your ghost, the one that you thought you’d never hear from again, suddenly comes back to life and starts wanting to hang out again. Let’s face it Zombie’s and Ghosts should be ignored and your attention should be focused on the land of the living.

  • 50+ dating terms every gay guy needs to know

    50+ dating terms every gay guy needs to know

    You’re checking out his dating profile and suddenly you come across an acronym you’ve not heard before… we’re here to help you navigate the shorthand world of gay hookups.

    420

    This is all about pot and the smoking thereof. This guy is probably into smoking weed. So if you see someone who has 420 written in their profile this is what it means!

    Alevels

    A-Levels. This all about anal sex… and the willingness to do it. Don

    Age Play

    Age Play is about the guys who like to age up or age down. Guys who take part in age play might like to wear nappies/diapers – or go the other extreme and use Zimmer frames

    ASL

    Before pictures and GPS on apps, it was common to start a chat conversation with ASL, which means Age, Sex Location. Thanks to smartphones and gay dating apps, location and sex are pretty much-taken care of, however, you might still need to ask his age, if that kind of thing is important to you.

    ATM

    Ass to mouth. Yep, penis in butt and then in your mouth. Nothing to do with cash machines.

    BTM / BOTTOM

    You might be asked whether you’re a top or Bottom. “Bottoms” or “Vers bottoms” are guys who generally take or receive the D. They are the ones who get penetrated. Tops or Vers Tops are the ones who do the penetrating. Vers are those guys who like it both ways. Guys who don’t like penetrative sex are called “sides”.

    BDSM

    BDSM is the broader term for bondage, dominance, discipline, submission, sadism and masochism. He likes whips, chains and all sorts of sub and dom play.

    BB / Bareback

    This is anal sex without the use of condoms. Previously Bareback / BB sex was seen as extremely risky, however, due to the invention and availability of PrEP, bareback sex is safer from an HIV point of view, however, BB sex can lead to other sexually transmitted diseases, such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis.

    BBC

    Potentially offensive, so use with caution, but it derives from porn which has black men with big cocks.

    Bear

    Bears are guys who are generally thicker and hairier – a bit like a bear. There’s a whole community and they even have their own flag. How well do you know your pride flags? Take our quiz here.

    Bondage

    Part of the BDSM world. This is about being tied up – and not in an officey, phone-call type of “tied up”. Actual ropes or straps can be used – or failing that his tie or even electric cords. It’s all good.

    Boy Next Door, BND

    BNDs are younger guys who are a typical build, height and looks. They may be geeky or they may be jocky. Check out their pictures for more details.

    BS

    As in not into bullshit.

    Candle Play

    Some guys love the feel of candle wax dripping on their nipples/chest/stomach/cock.

    CBT

    Cock and Ball Torture. Some guys are into having their junk tortured and there’s a whole host of toys out there to help you out if that is your thing. They could include chastity devices, which makes it impossible to touch your D or even ejaculate.

    Chemsex

    Chemsex is where drugs and sex come together, which isn’t always a good idea, especially as some drugs can make a person take risks that they wouldn’t normally take sober.

    Cut / Uncut

    Cut is for those guys who don’t have a foreskin, whilst uncut is for guys who are still intact. Across Europe, most guys are still intact, whereas in North America many guys are circumcised. Of course, some religious people are circumcised such as Jewish and Muslim men.

    Chastity

    Chastity is abstaining from sex and sexual contact.

    Daddy

    Where to start, some guys love the daddy mantle some guys HATE IT, so be careful before you ascribe “Daddy” to someone. Generally, guys over the age of 40 could be considered “daddies”.

    Discreet

    This guy might not be out or maybe in a relationship with another person so therefore discretion is everything to him. Usually you’ll see something like “DL” in his profile.

    Dirty

    This guy goes beyond the dirty mind. He likes actual dirt, like urine or poop. This isn’t for everyone. Guys who like watersports might use WS to indicate their preference on dating apps.

    Dom / Dominant

    This doesn’t have to mean topping during anal sex, a bottom can be dominant too. It means that this guy is one who likes to take charge.

    DP

    Double penetration. Yes, that’s two cocks up your bum. Not for the faint-hearted and probably only for someone who is experienced. He’ll probably need quite a bit of prep time.

    Edging

    Edging is where you play with your dick but then stop just before you bust a load. Some guys can do this for hours. Ultimately leaves you very horny – and potentially giving you a crazy big money shot.

    E play/ Stim / Electrical Play

    Plugin and plug up. This guy likes electrocution, but don’t be licking any plug sockets. This will be low-voltage play.

    FF

    This is all about Fisting. Either just run of mill fisting or fist fucking. You can let guys know whether you’re active (the one doing the fisting) or passive (the one being fisted).

    Flogging

    Whips do it for this guy. He likes to be flogged – which means whipped.

    FWB

    Friends with benefits. It’s when you don’t go the whole hog and become boyfriends, but buddies who suck each other off… now and then… or all the time.

    Hanky Code

    Back in the olden days, guys used to display their sexual preference with hankies hanging out the back of their pockets. There was an entire colour-coded system which let people know what you were into, from Vanilla to full-on fisting. Check out the list here.

    HMU

    This simply means, Hit Me Up – as in give him a call or a message.

    HNH.

    The first H stands for Horny, the second stands for High – so this is probably a guy who likes to have sex whilst high on pot.

    GGG

    Good Giving and Game. This is for sexually evolved guys who know that being a good lay means that everyone is happy.

    GPS

    Some apps use GPS to display your location and how far other guys are from you. Grindr became known as the first gay dating app which successfully used GPS locating, bringing local guy after local guy to your yard. Modern technology huh!

    JO

    Means Jerk off, not a typical British English way of saying, wanking or masturbation – mutual or otherwise.

    Limits

    Do you know yours? This about knowing what your sexual limits are and communicating them to your potential partner.

    MMF

    Basically a bisexual threesome, with two guys and one gal.

    Neg on PrEP

    This means that since his last test, this guy is HIV negative and is on PrEP meaning that you can have bareback sex with a greatly reduced risk of contracting HIV.

    NSA

    No strings attached, not the National Security Agency.

    Poz / Positive and undetectable

    This guy is letting you know that he has HIV but is on anti-HIV medication. People living with HIV who are on treatment for 6 months and with an undetectable viral load can’t pass on HIV to an unprotected partner.

    Otter

    A guy who is hairy, but slimmer than a bear or a cub. He may have the appearance of an otter when wet… apparently.

    S&M also written S/M 

    Sadomasochism This guy gets pleasure from giving or receiving pain or humiliation.

    PnP

    This stands for Party and Play – generally speaking drugs play a part in this guy’s sexual activity. Sometimes also referred to as chemsex. Make sure you keep safe during PnP often drugs can make people take risks with their sexual health, due to lowered inhibitions.

    Piss

    This guy is into watersports and not the sort that you can do on the ocean. He’ll be into guys pissing on him or him pissing on you. Either way, if you’re not into the urine thing, you might want to make this known at the start. This is part of the “dirty” community who like to play with body fluids that aren’t salvia or cum.

    S2R

    Send to receive. He’s basically saying you got send some picture his way if you want some of his. Could be face, cock or ass pics. You might need to be specific.

    Side

    Guys who don’t like or do anal sex are sometimes referred to as “sides“. If he has this in his profile he probably doesn’t identify as a top or a bottom.

    Sub / Submissive

    This doesn’t have to mean bottoming or anything to do with penetrative sex, it’s guys who like to be dominated during sex.

    Switch

    A Switch is one who likes both being dom and sub and switching it up.

    SSC

    Safe, Sane and Consensual

    Slave / Master

    This guy is looking for you to fill a role, the slave (submissive) or the master (dominant). Which will you go you for?

    Safeword

    When things are getting a bit freaky in the bedroom it’s good to know there’s a “safe word” that one of you can use to make sure whatever is happening comes to a full stop.

    Top

    This is the guy who does the penetrating, i.e. puts his dick in the other guy’s butt. Guys who don’t like being tops or bottoms are called “sides”. They’re into BJs (blow jobs), mutual masturbation and frottage (rubbing yourself against others).

    Twink

    This is a type of guy defined by his lack of body and facial hair, slim body and youthful appearance – think Bel Ami porn boys and that’s pretty much a Twink.

    UEqualsU

    Undetectable Equals Untransferable. It means that a guy with HIV who has an undetectable viral load cannot transfer the HIV virus to you. Being undetectable happens when someone is managing their HIV with antiretroviral drugs.

    Vers

    A vers guy is a versatile guy, this means that he likes anal sex both ways, topping and bottoming. Although he might have an overall preference, like Ver Top or Ver Bottom. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

    WS / Watersports

    This guy is into pissing on you or having you piss on him. This is part of the “dirty” community who like to play with body fluids that aren’t salvia or cum.

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    Have we missed any out? Let us know in the comments below.

    ** This article has been amended from its original to update information on PrEP.