Category: Love And Sex
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What’s Cuffing Season? – here’s a dating term you need to know
New dating terms are happening all the time and apparently, it’s “cuffing season” but what does it mean?
(C) BIGSTOCK Seventy Thirty‘s team looked at today’s dating terms and let us know what cuffing is and who’s doing it.
Cuffing season; refers to the winter months, when people who are usually happily single start to seek a committed relationship.
With the days getting shorter and the nights longer, the temperature dropping and the trees becoming bare, it’s the perfect time for cosy nights in with your loved one, building a relationship. It is the optimal time of year for past partners to creep up on you, too.
Be on the look out for your single exes!
rawpixel / Pixabay Will you on be on your ex’s booty call list? If an ex-partner is single, they might try to come back you to spend these cosy nights in with you.
Clinical psychologist Seth Meyers explains that “our energy levels are lower during the colder weather and we are moodier’” so we have less motivation to organise interesting dates.
This, coupled with poor winter weather, means we have fewer places to go and things to do. This makes us seek out an easier option, such as a past partner.
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This is the thing that’s ruining your sex life
A poll of 2,000 adults found the cold and dark winter months result in an increase in illnesses, a lower mood and an overall lack of motivation.
But millions also see their sex life suffer with almost one in twenty saying their libido nosedives during the winter.
Others also have less energy, struggle to wake up, have sore and achy joints and muscles and are more likely to consume unhealthy or sugary foods than in the summer months.
Dr Meg Arroll, a psychologist on behalf of wellbeing brand Healthspan, which commissioned the research, said: “This shows that many of us do feel down in the dumps when the weather turns colder and days get shorter.
“Some of this may be due to the lack of daylight and perceived unpleasantness of being out and about in the wind and rain.
“And of course, there are more coughs and colds during winter months which affect both how we feel physically and our mood.
“But the heartening aspect of this survey is that over a quarter of respondents state they take active steps to protect their health and wellbeing in winter.
“This is the key to good health as we may not be able to control the weather, but we can control how we think and feel and take action to improve our overall outlook.”
Can’t face the cold
Free-Photos / Pixabay The study also found 46 per cent of Brits think winter is bad for their health and it really impacts on their appearance.
Forty-one per cent stated they are more affected by colds and flu during the winter months, while 31 per cent believe they suffer more from dry skin.
Three in 10 have less energy and feel more tired while 22 per cent believe they are more likely to gain weight than they are in the summer.
Almost six in 10 say their mood is generally lower in winter than at any other time of the year, with 66 per cent blaming the dark morning and evenings.
Another 64 percent put their bad mood down to the cold weather while 17 per cent say it’s because they always feel ill.
It also emerged the nation’s health takes a hit in the winter with half saying they are more likely to be ill during the season than any other time of year with around two colds and two days off work from September to February.
To add to this, 47 percent of Brits feel more motivated to exercise in the summer months, spending an average of four hours and 29 minutes in the gym. This drops to 3 hours and 20 minutes in the winter.
It’s all the diet
CREDIT: mythja-bigstock Researchers from OnePoll also found 52 per cent see their diet change as they mover into the winter months.
Almost two-thirds turn to comfort food as the temperature drops, while 56 per cent eat less salad and 35 per cent consume more sugary treats. Others eat more fast food, less fruit and vegetables and drink less water.
But 27 per cent do take extra steps to safeguard their health and appearance during the winter months.
Half of those polled 50 per cent take health supplements and use extra moisturiser to combat dry skin, 33 per cent go to bed earlier, and 23 per cent try to improve their diet.
Dr Sarah Brewer, Healthspan Medical Director, said: “Diet should always come first, so focus on obtaining at least five-a-day fruit and veg for immune boosting vitamin C, plus two servings of oily fish per week for omega-3 and vitamin D.
“Clinical trials show that sucking zinc acetate lozenges significantly reduces symptoms of the common cold compared with placebo.
“Zinc acetate lozenges shortened the duration of nasal congestion by 37 per cent, scratchy throat by 33 per cent, hoarseness by 43 per cent and cough by 46 per cent.
“Sucking zinc acetate lozenges also shortened the duration of muscle aching by 54 per cent.
“Taking Zinc and Vitamin C tablets to prevent colds is also a popular strategy during winter months.”
Top 20 ways Brits suffer more in the winter than in the summer
1. Flu/colds
2. Dry skin
3. Have less energy
4. More likely to be ill
5. Feeling demotivated
6. Struggle to wake up
7. Increased appetite for unhealthy foods
8. Weight gain
9. Feeling sad
10. Sore joints
11. Watch too much TV/screen time
12. Aching muscles
13. Feeling pale
14. Feeling unfit
15. Generally poor health
16. Poor sleep
17. A bad mood
18. Feeling lonely
19. Dry eyes
20. Dry hairTop 10 reasons for a lower mood in winter
1. It’s dark
2. It’s cold
3. The days feel shorter
4. I can’t go outside for as long
5. I feel unfit
6. I feel ill
7. I’m always hungry
8. I struggle to sleep
9. I have less of a social life
10. I have bad skin -
The rimming sex toy is cheaper today thanks to Black Friday
If you liked getting rimmed and you’re looking to save money, your day is about to get even better.
(C) BIGSTOCK Thanks for Black Friday the Lelo Ora 2 has a mega 25 per cent off the retail price today, meaning you can give your bum hole a great seeing to for less.
Does your boyfriend have 10 pleasure settings and the stamina to go for an hour – with a 90 day standby time? If he does we want to meet him. If he doesn’t or you don’t have a BF then we’d like you to meet ORA (2). The oral sex – sex toy.
If you’re not entirely sure what rimming is, then we got this article, which explains the 10 things you need to know about rimming.
The toy, which is from the upmarket Swedish intimate toy manufacturer LELO, describes the toy as “better than real” and “thrilling”. We’re interested – very interested.
Although the website describes it as perfect for “clitoral stimulation” we’re betting this will feel just as good on your boy booty bean.
So now you don’t need a man to give you a good licking. You can even give the BF the night off while you go to town on yourself.
It’s currently on Black Friday for just £108.75!
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Bleeding after anal sex: What you should do about it
Bleeding after anal sex can be just ‘one of those things’ and can happen on your first go round or your 100th – so to put your mind and butt at rest, here’s why it happens.
(C) BIGSTOCK Anal sex can be an integral part of a sexual relationship, but not all couples do it – however, there’s a lot of wrong information out there about bottoming.
Tiny rips happen
Your rectum is not self-lubricating, so unless you’re using lube, you’re going to be creating a lot of friction, which can cause the lining of the rectum to tear or rip a little, if this sounds hideous, it might be worth noting that most of these rips are tiny – and can actually happen outside of sex as well. These rips can cause bleeds – and most probably you’ve had bleeds but never realised it.
It happens because the lining of your rectum is not as strong as your normal skin.
Also, anal sex could also be causing what are known as anal fissures – which are tiny rips that can happen both on the inside and on and around your actual hole – especially if you’re not relaxed or have not loosened yourself up before the main event. These can heal all by themselves within a few weeks.
The P Word…
Another issue is the dreaded P word – yes piles.Bleeds may be caused by popping a pile or if we’re going to be medical about it, haemorrhoids. Piles are completely normal and are the enlargement of a blood vessel that already exists inside your butt. You might not even know you have one until it pops during sex.
Some people have visible piles on the outside of the anus, whilst some have them on the inside.
There’s no evidence to show that having anal sex causes piles but it can inflame the issue.
Jose Perez de la Cruz from THT told us, “So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.
“So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.
If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.
When should go to the doctor about anal bleeding?
If you are experiencing a lot of pain or prolonged aching after sex you might need to seek medical help. It is normal for there to be some discomfort for a day after, especially after your first time. However, if pain continues you should go and see your GP or book yourself into a sexual health clinic.
If there is a lot of blood (think steady drip rather than a bit of spotting on your toilet paper) you should go and see your doc ASAP.
Dr Shawn Khodadadian, a board-certified gastroenterologist in Manhattan, is cautioning people against ignoring rectal bleeding. He warns that rectal bleeding could be a sign of other, far more serious illness such as colorectal or colon cancer. He said,
“as there are many possible causes and getting an early diagnosis is particularly important. This is because although rectal bleeding can be a symptom of haemorrhoids, colitis or anal fissures, it can also be a sign of a far more serious illness for example colorectal or colon cancer. These types of cancers can often be completely cured when detected early.”
Your gonna need lube and lots of it
So the best way to stop the friction is to use lube a lot of it. You can find out about the different types of lube here. If you’re having a long session – they don’t forget to keep reapplying the lube or use a silicon-based lube, which should last a lot longer.
Remember, despite what you see in gay porn, you can just ram it in. You need to take your time, use lube and go an inch at a time!
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This is how we’re now saying, “I Love You” in 2018
Emojis, texts and WhatsApp are among the most popular ways to say ‘I love you’, according to a study.
TheHilaryClark / Pixabay Researchers who polled 2,000 UK adults found millions are turning to their mobile phones to express these sentiments to friends and family rather than in person.
Other common ways of saying ‘I love you’ include using Skype, Facebook and Instagram.
Further to this, just three in 10 ALWAYS say ‘I love you’ face-to-face – with a fifth unable to do so because their loved ones live in another city or country.
The research was commissioned by Thorntons to mark the launch of its ‘Continental Journeys’ competition [https://www.thorntons.co.uk/continental/journeys.html] where they will reunite families who can’t be together over the festive period.
Spokesman Ian Tweedale said, “It’s not about what’s under the Christmas tree, but about who’s around it.
“Our Continental Journeys competition is helping families to ‘Pass The Love On’ this Christmas, by bringing together loved ones who, for whatever reason, can’t be together during the holiday season.
“We’re also proud to be passing the love on to the charity SSAFA, which supports our servicemen and women, veterans and their families.”
The research also identified the ‘true’ meaning of love – including accepting someone’s imperfections (47 percent) and being comfortable when sat in silence together (36 percent).
Travelling long distances to see one another (13 percent) is another indicator of genuine love, as is saving the last chocolate (7 percent) and warming up the bed (six percent).
Being quiet in the morning as you leave the house (five per cent) is also a sign of true affection.
Only 44 percent of people say I Love You to their partner every day
It also emerged 44 percent of Brits say ‘I love you’ to their partners every day.
And four in 10 also tell their pets they love them on a daily basis.
In contrast, just 12 percent say those special words to their mum each and every day.
Instead, 30 per cent say the ‘L word’ to their parents once a week and 27 percent say it to their friends at least once a month.
The research, carried out through OnePoll, also found saying ‘I love you’ too much devalues its meaning – according to four in 10 adults.
TOP 10 – TRUE MEANING OF LOVE:
- Accepting a person’s imperfections
- Being comfortable sat in silence with each other
- Travelling long distances to see each other
- Calling/messaging when you say you will
- Saving your loved one the last chocolate from the box
- Taking your partner out for a meal
- Surprising your partner with a holiday / trip away
- Warming up the bed for you
- Buying gifts
- Being quiet in the morning as you leave
WORDS: Rob Knight
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What are the most annoying things guys do during sex?
“be on their phone looking for the next guy to hook up with”
CREDIT ©-dnf-style-Depositphotos Some guys, honestly.
Okay, we get it, no one guy is perfect, but some of us take the soggy biscuit too far as evidenced in a recent thread on Reddit when some gay guys shared what the most annoying things guys did to them during sex.
There was everything from checking phones during the act to sexy talk that just wasn’t that sexy.
Boy Pussy. Apparently calling your butt hole a “boy pussy” or bussy, is a definite no-no. [via]
God’s gift? Acting like a jerk is never sexy, this one user said, “Acting like they’re a gift to you, not reciprocating in foreplay, pounding like a rabbit and busting in 2 minutes asking you if it was good” is also annoying. [via]
Size isn’t everything… but apparently, if you’re not blessed with a huge package but repeatedly ask the question, “do you like my big cock” along with other references to how big you are, is annoying. But interestingly it works the other way around too. [via]
If you’re not well-endowed and the bottom partner goes on and on about how big you are, is truly annoying. [via]
(C) BIGSTOCK Can you handle my size??? Look who’s talking “Talking too much. Either about sex or more annoyingly about something else entirely. I’m happy to chat before/after sex but I don’t wanna hear about your sister’s new boyfriend or that your dog is at the vets… stop.” [via]
Noisey sexer, also: “Two days ago I had a guy snorting while he was fucking me. Like, making pig noises. No thanks” [via]
Devil Kissing “Kissing me with a pointed tongue, it feels hard and not comfortable to rub my tongue across it, relax your tongue muscles!” [via]
Also on the block is sloppy kissers… “Some men are all drool and it’s just a mess. I love French kissing, but not with someone who drools like a Bassett hound” [via]
Play that tune… When you spend all that time creating a sex playlist on Spotify… DAMN YOU [via]
What are the most annoying things that have happened to you during sex?
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What are these zits on my balls?
Is it normal to have zits, spots or whiteheads on your scrotum?
We asked Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori from Pharmacy2U whether finding little spots or zits on your ball bag is something to be concerned about.
Dr Nitin told us, “You can get rashes on your testicles as you can any other part of your skin” and they are often caused by anything from blocked pores to allergies or heat irritation.
“If anything, this area is a bit more sensitive so treat it with care,” Dr Nitin adds.
Apparently, shaving can often cause spot like symptoms as could using a new body wash or new washing powder for your laundry – so if you have a break-out see if either of these could factors.
Also, when the weather turns humid this can cause rashes through sweating.
Dr Nitin says, “You need to ensure you wash regularly and properly dry yourself before dressing as rashes love moist, damp places! If you shave you need to keep the area clean afterwards”.
But rashes can also be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease warns Dr Nitin, “if it (the zits) don’t clear up, do go and see your GP or local GUM clinic just to make sure. The majority of STDs can be treated quickly and efficiently the earlier they are diagnosed.
“You can also get an STD testing kit online if you just want to put your mind at rest and rule that out”
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE
Got a problem you’d like advice on?
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Got an American lover? here’s probably what turns him on
Neck kisses, nibbling and eye contact- new research reveals America’s 20 biggest turn-ons.
(C) BIGSTOCK The new survey of 2,000 Americans saw kisses on the neck voted as officially the biggest turn-on, followed by your partner saying just three little words…
According to the findings, a partner simply saying the words “I like that” in bed ranked the second most-appealing way to ramp up the mood.
The study, conducted by sex toy retailer EdenFantasys.com, sought to uncover Americans’ biggest turn-ons and turn-offs and found that 76 percent of respondents like their partner giving them a little verbal reassurance in bed.
A little nibbling on the ear was another high scorer on the turn-ons list, while eye-contact during sex was something that really got many a respondent going.
Another saucy 46 percent of Americans say the presence of sex toys in bed is a total turn-on.
The survey also split the results of the list by gender, which is where it gets really fascinating.
For instance, it appears men get a lot more out of going down on their partner than women, with 76 percent of men reporting that going down on their partner is a turn-on for them compared to only 56 percent of women.
In fact, nearly one in four (23 percent) of women reported that going down on their partner was a turn-off for them.
Anal sex was another polarizing act — very polarizing. Over half of men (52 percent) called it a turn-on, compared to 19 percent of women. An incredible 57 percent of women actually consider it a complete turn-off.
Being teased during sex was one thing women did like, however, and interestingly enough, it was the only thing that women said they liked more than men, with 52 percent of women calling it a turn-on compared to 49 percent of men.
Not all turns ons have to be sexy
But who said being turned on has to be a sexual act? The survey found a bevvy of inherently non-sexual things that are turn-ons.
For instance, just smelling good was voted as the biggest non-sexual turn on, with 69 percent of the respondents labelling it as such.
Simply being affectionate was the second biggest (64 percent), and making somebody feel appreciated rounded out the top three with 61 percent listing it as a turn on.
“The study showed that non-physical affections are the biggest turn-ons for everyone, said Fred Petrenko of EdenFantasys.com. “‘All we need is love’ is as true today as it’s always been.”
The survey also pinpointed 37 as the age when Americans are at their kinkiest overall.
Being turned on isn’t such a rarity, either, with Americans saying they’re noticeably turned on three times every day, with one in five (19 percent) saying it’s actually more times than that.
And it’s not necessarily in the evening when we feel this way, with the average American saying they’re most likely to be turned on at 2:46 p.m. As The Starland Vocal Band once famously sang: “Skyrockets in flight…”
“Not surprisingly, sex toys are one of the major turn-ons for many couples,” continue Petrenko. “We encourage people to experiment more in the bedroom for a happier and sexier life.”
AMERICA’S 20 BIGGEST TURN-ONS
• Neck kisses
• My partner telling me ‘I like that’
• My partner undressing me
• My partner going down on me
• Undressing my partner
• Nibbling my ear
• Lingerie
• Eye contact during sex
• Going down on my partner
• Being teased
• Sex toys
• Dirty talk in English
• Partner doing a striptease
• Being dominated
• Partner being rough
• My partner spanking me
• My partner pulling my hair
• Biting
• Having to be quiet and sneaky (‘don’t wake the roommate’ etc.)
Role-playingAMERICA’S 20 BIGGEST TURN-OFFS
• Poor hygiene
• Being mean • Being rude to waitstaff
• Eating with mouth open
• Being flirty with other people
• Talking about exes
• Being cocky
• Talking too much/not listening
• Dressing poorly
• Baby talk
• Insecurity
• Long fingernails
• Wearing too much cologne/perfume
• Being cheap
• Lack of confidence
• Body hair
• Being too ‘handsy’ in public
• Bad driver
• Poor taste in shoes
• Calling me pet names in publicTOP 5 TURN-ONS IN BED FOR MEN
My partner telling me “I like that” 78%
My partner going down on me 78%
Undressing my partner 78%
Going down on my partner 76%
Neck kisses 76%TOP 5 TURN-ONS IN BED FOR WOMEN
Neck kisses 82%
My partner telling me ‘I like that’ 74%
My partner undressing me 68%
My partner going down on me 67%
Undressing my partner 63%TOP 10 NON-SEXUAL TURN-ONS
Smelling good 69%
Being affectionate 64%
Making me feel appreciated 61%
Dressing nice 46%
Intelligence 45%
Confidence 43%
Generosity 39%
Active listening 39%
Playing with my hair 34%
Being taller than me 28% -
Tops: Have you been guilty of “Nugget Shaming”?
Have you heard about nugget shaming? Well, boys, it’s about time we talked about it.
The terminology might be new but it’s something most bottoms will know. That feeling of dread as your top pulls his dick out of your butt and your lower colon has left a little “gift”, the nugget if you will.
You see, sometimes we forget, both tops and bottoms, that our booties have more than one use. It’s not just a sexy plaything it’s actually the place were our bodies evacuate the waste from our bodies and it can’t be expected to be 100 percent clean 100 percent of the time – because our bodies are constantly making new poops. It’s nature’s miracle. It’s natural and you can’t stop it, nor should you want to.
Let’s examine this. Porn tells us, and let’s face it, that’s where we get most of our sex education, thanks to a woefully inadequate sex ed policy, that bottoms must ready 100. At a moment’s notice a bottom might be expected to be able to take a 10 incher immediately, for a 20 to 30-minute pounding and at the end must not expel wind or have any trace of the substance that usually comes out… lest it ruins the atmosphere. That expectation isn’t necessarily disposed upon us by toxic tops, nope, sometimes that expectation is all us – and why wouldn’t it be, in the absence of education, expectation is sometimes all we have.
Of course, bottoms will have their tricks – half an hour of douching, Immodium, fibre supplements, yes, even the rhythm methods can be used, I’ve even heard of some porn stars eating nothing but fruit and ice for up to two days before a shoot, but ultimately we can never be sure that when you pull your d out of our a’s that it’s not doing to produce a little nugget for you – and maybe we need to be okay with that.
After all, that’s why we have wipes, towels and showers isn’t it?
So give your partner a break and don’t shame him if an accident happens.
We recently asked some tops what they thought of poop incidents, on the whole (pun intended), guys were supportive, but for some, it was a deal breaker.
Shame really.
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Is it common for gay guys to have open relationships?
Is it unusual for gay and bi guys who are in relationships to open it up?
(C) BELAMI Sometimes what we do in our own community might seem strange to those outside it, like this straight-identified man who took to Reddit to ask whether it was normal for gay guys to have open relationships after his gay friend confided in him that he was getting bored of married life after just one year and decided to have a threesome.
Reddit gays were on hand to let him know that it’s not that uncommon that gay couples, but not always, to open up their relationships – to differing degrees.
So what are those degrees of an open relationship?
The door has a keyhole
Where a couple might talk or fantasise about having a threesome or a four-way with another couple. It’s on the table, the discussion is happening, maybe they even watch threesome porn together, but they’re not physically committed yet.
The door is open a crack
There’s the casual threeway, where you both agree on the same person, set up a date and go for it.
The screen door
This is where a couple regularly has three ways, four ways or even attend orgies. They are okay with their partner having sex with other people and don’t necessarily have to be involved, as long as they are in the same room or building or event.
The stable door
Both parties of a relationship are “allowed” to go play with other people, but it’s strictly “don’t ask don’t tell” and “not in our bed”.
The door is wide open
This is where the couple is open and honest about having sex with other people. There still may be rules attached to the sex, like condoms only, but generally, both parties in the relationship are happy about their partner having sex with someone else. The line would be drawn at creating an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship.
The Truple (the swing door??)
I can’t take the door analogy any further but the truple is where a couple decides to open their relationship in all senses, sexually and emotionally and allow a third to become part of the family.
(C) BIGSTOCK So, is it common?
So going back to the Reddit guy – what was he asking? Well, he asked the AskGayMen community whether it was more common for amongst gay, married men to have threesomes, get bored of their relationships or play away dates with other guys.
Here’s what Reddit had to say on the matter of open relationships amongst gay men.
Really quite common
It’s actually way more common for gay men to have open relationships than it is for straight couples. [VIA]
Gay people are just, in general, more open about it with each other, whereas straight people often just cheat on each other.
I think the gay way of doing things is a lot better. Pure sexual monogamy clearly doesn’t work for many people, and it’s nice to be able to be honest about it with my partner instead of lying to each other and destroying each others’ trust. [VIA]
Maybe not about being bored
I can’t speak for every gay man but for me I know I would love a threesome or even more. I think more context is needed around the “bored” part. Is he bored in general or just bored in the bedroom? [VIA]
Open doors
Most of the gay couples I know have open / semi-open relationships. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and are mostly monogamous but allow each other to have rare, limited things on the side. [VIA]
Not a red flag
The threeway isn’t a red flag. Pretty common. The “bored” comment is a red flag. After more than ten years, I’m still more entertained by six hours of silence in a car next to my spouse than I am by five minutes alone. [VIA]
Our own rules
Don’t worry about it – gays have their own rules. [VIA]
So what do you think? Are you open to an open relationship?
