Tag: Bottoming

All the latest breaking news Bottoming. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on bottoming.

Does bottoming make you poop uncontrollably?
Here’s the thing. Your sphincter is a muscle and like any muscle it needs working out to remain healthy and strong.

The”sphincter” refers to a ring-like muscle that normally maintains constriction of a natural body passage or orifice and that can relax or contract as necessary. Sphincters are found throughout the body and play various roles in controlling the passage of substances. The one we’re talking about is in your anus – and stops you from pooing yourself.

It’s always in the back of your mind when you’re bottoming. I know you’re asking yourself, “Will the pounding I receive today, be the forever loosening of my butthole?” Yes, there are the jokes about being loose and there’s even *that* myth that gay men who bottom end up having to use tampons –

The answer is relatively simple.

Keep that booty in a healthy condition and no it won’t lead to a lifetime of pooping uncontrollably.

So how can you keep your booty in good working order?

Strengthening the sphincter muscles, particularly the pelvic floor muscles, can be important for various reasons, such as improving bladder or bowel control.

Here are some exercises that can help target and strengthen these muscles, especially if you enjoy anal sex.
1. Kegel Exercises:
  - Kegel exercises are a common way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which include the muscles around the anus.
  - To do Kegel exercises, contract the muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine. Hold the contraction for a few seconds and then release. Repeat this several times in a row.
2. Pelvic Floor Exercises:
  - Lie down on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
  - Tighten the muscles around your anus and urethra as if you are trying to lift them upwards.
  - Hold the contraction for a few seconds and then relax.
  - Repeat these contractions, gradually increasing the duration of the hold as your muscles become stronger.
3. Biofeedback:
  - Biofeedback therapy involves using electronic sensors to provide feedback on muscle activity. This can help you identify and isolate the muscles you want to target.
  - Working with a pelvic floor physical therapist can be beneficial for personalized biofeedback training.
4. Squats:
  - Squats can engage the muscles of the pelvic floor. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and lower your body into a squatting position. Keep your back straight and chest up.
5. Bridge Exercise:
  - Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
  - Lift your hips off the floor, creating a straight line from your shoulders to your knees.
  - Squeeze your glutes and engage your pelvic floor muscles during the lift.
6. Yoga and Pilates:
  - Certain yoga and Pilates exercises focus on core strength and can engage the pelvic floor muscles. Consider incorporating these into your fitness routine.
It’s important to note that these exercises should be done with proper form, and it’s advisable to start with a level of intensity that matches your current fitness level. If you have any concerns or existing health conditions, it’s recommended to consult with a healthcare professional or a pelvic floor physical therapist before starting a new exercise routine.

Consistency is key, and it may take some time to notice improvements. If you’re unsure about the best approach for your specific situation, seeking guidance from a healthcare professional is crucial.
18th December 2023
This guy wants all Bottoms to stop shaving their asses and the Internet has thoughts

One Twitter user has called upon all bottoms to stop shaving their asses; well, as you might imagine people have thoughts. The viral Tweet, has now been viewed nearly 500k times and has over 200 comments from those who agree with the sentiment and those who are appalled by the idea of not shaving their bums.

The Tweet reads, in all caps, “BOTTOMS PLEASE STOP SHAVING YOUR ASS”.

https://twitter.com/thatsantanico/status/1614347599984615425

One user noted that he waxed because it made him feel more confident, suggesting that having a tidy hole made bottoming easier and made them feel much more confident, while another added that he wasn’t shaving for no man.

Another user wanted bottoms to shave because he was afraid that “berries” might be lurking we suspect he’s talking about what we like to call “chumber nuts.” Yep, that’s when a person gets poop or toilet paper stuck in the hairs around their butthole.

Do tops actually like a hairy hole?

One man shared that he had never met anyone who liked his hairy butt and that he always gets asked to shave.

But one person, perhaps the voice of reason within this whole (pardon the pun) said, “Bottoms should do whatever they want to and not listen to tops.”

However, one Top, did suggest a compromise saying, “I like smooth. I like hairy. But if I can’t even see the skin of your crack because of the hair that’s too hairy for me. Trim it for me please? It’s also easy to keep yourself clean, doesn’t clog up my shower drain, and I don’t have to flush pubes out of my teeth.”

Of course, we had to get to the bottom (this time the pun was intentional) of this trixy question. Do tops want hairy or non-hairy butts. We obviously went full scientistic on this and conducted a Twitter survey.

Tops… do you prefer
— TheGayUK (@TheGayUK) January 16, 2023

You can see for yourself there’s a clear winner…

16th January 2023
Which is the best anal numbing lube to use?

There are loads of numbing lubes on the market, but which is the best and why might you use a numbing lube for anal sex?

Is anal sex a real pain in the ass – literally and figuratively? Then anal numbing lube might be the way forward for you as it can help with numbing your hole and the rectum, but it does come with a warning – as a numb bum doesn’t give you the full picture of what’s going on down there. So be warned.

So what’s numbing lube good for?

Well, as the name suggests numbing lube numbs any area of skin in which it comes in contact. It does this with specific ingredients. These ingredients help mask pain to some extent. This means that if you’re using a large toy or taking a cock, any pain that you usually experience would be dulled, in most cases. However, it doesn’t actually fix the issue of why stretching your hole out is painful. If you’re feeling pain it could be that you’re not relaxed, that there’s an actual medical issue or the toy you’re using is just too damn big.

It’s important to note that numbing lube doesn’t relax the muscles in and around your anus – and relaxation is the actual key to enjoyable anal sex and not causing considerable damage.

This is important because you don’t want to cause trauma to the area – like a rip or tear. Nobody wants to end up in ER or have to undergo surgery for a severely damaged ass.

What does numbing lube feel like?

Numbing lube can feel quite strange, however, it should successfully numb the ass. Some are more successful than others and they use a wide variety of numbing ingredients.

It all depends on the brand you use, some may leave a tingly or warming feeling, and some may leave a cold feeling around your glory hole. The numbing effect usually takes up to 10 minutes to work, so don’t start ramming (actually never start by ramming) anything up your hole until the area is nicely numbed.

Once you have the feeling that the area is dulled, start with a finger or a small toy to get your ass used to opening up a little, you can find out more advice on taking a big toy or dick here. Just because the skin has been numbed it doesn’t mean that the anal muscles are relaxed, so you should really spend some time on getting your ass ready and relaxed – then the ramming can begin!

After a while, you might feel a strange sensation, I would describe it as a heaviness inside. Perhaps it feels like you need the loo, but don’t actually have anything in there to pass.

Is using Numbing Lube safe?

A word to the wise before going down the numbing lube path, you might want to take heed from Doctor Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical who gave a warning against the use of numbing gels or lubes – especially if you’re planning to take something huge up your ass. He said the problem with the numbing lube is that if you’re doing damage to yourself, you might not feel it.

He said, “A lot of people are using numbing lubricants or poppers or other to relax, and the reality of that, is that it leads to injury because a lot of people don’t feel the trauma happening”.

But as long as you’re aware of this factor, you should be okay.

So what numbing lubes actually work?

Well, I’ve road-tested a few different types of numbing lubes in my time, the two that stick out for me are the Anal-Eze and Eros Fisting Gel. Anal-Eze contains the active ingredient Lidocaine, which is a topical analgesic. Eros uses Polidocanol which is another local anaesthetic. Numbing agents can have side effects so it’s best to always check which active anaesthetic ingredients are being used in your lubes.

I found Eros to be quite effective in numbing my ass. However, after an hour or so I did experience an uncomfortable feeling of needing to poop – despite being fully douched and nothing ‘up there.’ I see that other users of this brand have also complained about this slightly strange and unsettling feeling.

Anal-Eze also does a good job of numbing. It is a smaller tube, but a little goes a long way. It would be best to use this lube in conjunction with another lube – like a silicone lube.

There are quite a few types available for sale. Check out our own shop for our entire range of numbing lubes.

20th April 2022
What is the gay hanky code? And what do the colours mean?
Nowadays, finding out what a guy is into is pretty straight forward on dating or hookup apps like Grindr or Scruff. You simple type, “into” and you’ll most likely get a pre-written reply of kinks, preferences and needs – which can read like a shopping list, use this hack to save you a lot of time. But what about the days before the internet? Or indeed how do you disclose whether you’re a top or a bottom or a piss fiend when you’re out and about or at a gay sauna or a cruising ground? Well that’s where the hanky code comes in.

By a stroke of genius someone decided that by simply putting a colour coded hanky in your back pocket, that you could tell all the guys around you exactly what you were looking for.

Where was the hanky code invented?

The hanky code has been around for quite some time (get ready for a gay history lesson).

Sources put the hanky code as an invention originating from San Francisco, in or around the mid-to-late 70s. It started off in the gay community when being incognito about your sexuality was a must. After time it was also adopted by the BDSM community as a well to communitcate preferences.

In 1983 the hanky code was cemented when Larry Townsend‘s The Leatherman’s Handbook II described the code in detail.

By wearing a seemingly innocuous hanky in your back pocket you could tell anybody, in the know, that you were a top, or bottom, whether you were there for a fucking or just wanks. Pretty ingenious.

Depending on what side you wore your hanky would determine whether you were a top or bottom, dom or sub. Wearing your hanky in your left pocket means you’re top or dom and wearing your hanky in the right pocket means you’re bottom or sub.

What are the hanky code colours and what do they mean?

There are over 20 different colours to the hanky code. Here are the eight more popular.
- Black – BDSM. If you’re into BDSM then a black hanky is the way to go. If you’re dom then you’d wear it in your left pocket. If you take the submissive role then you’d pop it in your right pocket.
- White – Wanking/Cum. Say you’re in a bathouse, and you’re not there to fuck, but wanted to engage in mutual wanking or just wanna cum with someone, then a white hanky would be worn in either pocket, but again left if you’re slightly more dom, right if you’re more submissive.
- Grey – Bondage. Into some whipping and being tied up? Grey is colour for you. If you like being tied up then you’d wear it in your right pocket. if you’re looking to take control then a grey hanky in your left pocket lets everyone know you’re the boss.
- Yellow – Piss. Wanna be pissed on? Wear a yellow hanky in your right pocket. Wanna piss on someone wear it in your left pocket.
- Navy Blue – Anal Sex. There to be fucked and you’re a bottom? Wear a navy hanky in your right back pocket. You’re the top? Wear a navy hanky in your left back pocket.
- Orange – Anything Anytime. Are you the kinda guy who’s into everything or extremely open minded? The orange hanky is your friend.
- Light Pink – Dildos. For toy play the light pink hanky is the way to go. Just remember if you want the toys to be used on you to wear the hanky in your left pocket.
- Red – Fisting. Into fisting, then the Red hanky is your go to. Depending on whether you’re the fistee (right pocket) or the fister (left pocket) determines which pocket you pop your red hanky in.
So, what if you’re into more than one thing? Say you’re into piss and a bottom who’s looking for a fucking? Well, my friend, you get a Navy and a Yellow hanky and you stuff them both into your back right pocket.

Looking to buy some hankies? Well our partners over at THEGAYSHOP have these hankies. Go on, be a bit retro and keep this awesome piece of gay history alive and kicking.
1st April 2022
What does Bussy mean and is it offensive?

The word Bussy has one main meaning and it’s not offensive per se, but it all depends on who’s using the word and why they are using it.

What does bussy mean?

Bussy is the combination of Boy and Pussy – which is used to describe a bottom’s bottom. So really you’d only use it in a sexual context, to describe a body part of a guy, or a bottom himself would use Bussy to describe an area of his own body.

It’s essentially a slang word for a gay / bi guy’s butt hole. It shouldn’t be used to describe the vagina or front opening of a trans man – unless he uses those words. In this regard, it could cause offence.

Is Bussy offensive to say?

If you were to use the word outside of a sexual context it could be considered offensive – but again it’s all about context – who you’re saying it to, why you’re saying and the intention behind your words.

When was the word bussy invented?

(C) BIGSTOCK

This definition is also backed up by Urban Dictionary who have a many, many definitions for the word, one of which dates back to 2004, which suggests the “B” actually stands for butthole rather than “boy”.

The oldest definition of Bussy that we could find was in 2003, which read “Butt pussy; The occurrence of too much anal sex where the butthole is stretched out to form a vagina.” Which is a myth, that we discuss in this article.

Although the word has been in use for well over a decade, nearly two, it’s popularity has only just started to grow.

According to Urban Dictionary there was a peak in October 2017 for the word and then again in December 2020.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

10th December 2020
What does Mangina mean and is it offensive?

The word Mangina seemingly has a few meanings and its ability to cause offense depends on who is using the word, why they are using it and how. Or to put it simply, the context in which the word is used.

Is Mangina offensive to say?

According to Dictionary.com Mangina is actually an insult or slur against any man who is perceived to be effeminate or any guy who identifies as a feminist. It can also be used, according to the site, as an insult to the genitals of persons of all gender identities.

This definition is also backed up by Urban Dictionary who have a few definitions for the word.

(C) BIGSTOCK

However, within the gay community and particularly sexually active guys, Mangina can be used as a descriptor for a guy’s butt hole. It is a combination of the word man and vagina. In this context, it is not a slur or an insult especially when used by a guy about his own genitals or body or sexual preference.

One example of this was when Celebrity Big Brother star, Austin Armacost referred to his own “mangina” after a commentator wrote, “vagina” on a naked picture he posted.

Another word to describe a bottom’s bottom might be bussy which is a combination of the word boy and pussy.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

1st December 2020
I took psyllium husk to help with bottoming, here’s what happened

If you’re no stranger to bottoming then you’ll know the feeling of douching and the fear that what you’ve done is never enough. That whole process can be quite stressful and there can be times, when you think ‘how much more can there actually be’. This is particularly true if you over douche, which means that you unlodged your lunch, which probably wouldn’t have come out for another 12-24 hours. But poop is like a genie, once it’s been disturbed, you can’t just stuff it back in, which could mean another 20 minutes of douching.

It’s very time consuming.

So when I heard that there were pills and supplements out there that can help with ensuring you stay and remain “ready” with little or no preparation I was intrigued. After all who doesn’t want a quick fix, right?

There are numerous products out there that are aimed at gay men… but they are, in reality quite expensive and require a regime which needs you to remember to take multiple pills a day at various times. That’s just way too much effort for my liking.

So I did some reading and it turns out the main ingredient of these supplements is a totally natural foodstuff called psyllium husk. Which when bought in powder form is incredibly cheap.

Psyllium husk is a highly effective fibre source which acts a bit like a sponge, soaking up the water content in your gut and helping to bind all your poo together, making your poop more “together” (one lump or two?), but crucially softer making your bowel movements much easier and well-formed, in one or two larger more solid masses. It also has other health benefits as it’s prebiotic, helping to colonise your gut with probiotics.

The result

Well, after a week the difference was noticeable. Pooping was easier, felt good and solid and, without being too graphic, my butthole seemed pretty clean afterwards as wiping would reveal a tissue that, for the most part, clear of smears.

I bought Psyllium Husk by Bulk Powders, which is currently around £15.07 on Amazon (prices vary) and it’s very simple to use. Just one scoop a day in a glass of water. That’s it.

12th November 2020
How to perfect Double Penetration

For many, double penetration is the stuff of fantasy. Simply put Double Penetration, in a gay sex context is the insertion of two penises into one guy’s hole. It usually requires at least three of you, but it can be done with just the two of you if you have a dildo (or even one of you, yes there are double penetration dildos).

What you need to know is DP takes time and patience, so if you’re really up for trying double penetration, here’s how to go about it.

Before we start it’s probably fair to say, that there will be some guys, who just won’t be able to do it, from a bottoming point of view and if you feel too much pain, or it just doesn’t feel right then stop and tell your tops, to cool their jets. You don’t want to come out of this with a trip to A&E or create yourself long-lasting issues with your butthole.

If you’re a top and you want to find out the bit that involves you, click here… if you’re the bottom then read on…

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The warm-up, warm-up

The warm-up starts long before your tops arrive. It all starts with the douche and getting yourself ready down there.

I’d always recommend a shower douche if you’re going for DP, or extended arse play. Usually, a normal bulb douche would be fine for anal sex, but you want to be sure. Want to know more about douching click here.

Haven’t got a shower douche or bulb douche, check out our range.

Make sure the water is luke-warm and that the pressure from your shower is low. Take your time with the experience.

Once you’re ready and cleaned out, start prepping your hole with lube and maybe a dildo or prostate massager. I start with a numbing lube.

A lube launcher is a perfect way to get the lube deep inside you, or you can coat the top of your dildo with lube and work it in your body.

What you want to do is get your ass all lube up and warmed up ready for the main event.

The warm up

This is where you start to introduce other guys and the sex has begun. Hopefully, your tops have been true gents and gotten you all open and ready with rimming, possibly some fingering and now the penetration. It’s up to you, but I’d let both of them have sex with you for as long as they want… (and feels comfortable for you) this means that when it comes to the DP your butt hole muscle will be relaxed and ready for something bigger.

The DP

There are three main positions for DP, but we’ve posted four, in case you’re basically just extra.

The Double Stuff

IMAGE: Robert Flood

The Double Stuff is where the Btm lies on top, face down on Top 1 who enters the ass first, then from behind, kneeling between Top 1 and the Btm’s legs, Top 2 then inserts his dick. Slowly! In this position, Top 2 mostly controls the action. If Top 1 or the btm moves too much, both Tops will most likely fall out.

Tip: for this position whichever Top has the largest penis should be on the bottom and enter first.

The Laidback Cowboy DP

IMAGE: Robert Flood

This time the Btm faces up and lies on his back on the stomach of Top 1, who should again enter first. Top 2 then put his penis and because of his position gets the best view, but also, again gets to control the thrusting action more.

Tip: If your Btm is a heavier guy, then he’ll need to support his weight with his elbows or hands, meaning that both his hands will be occupied, so Top 2 can always jerk him off

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The King Of Clubs

IMAGE: Robert Flood

The King Of Club DP position is where the two Tops lie opposite each other with their butts, balls and penises meeting in the middle. Their legs outstretched past the shoulders of the other top. The two top’s legs will cross each at around the knee. The tops’ penises should meet in the middle and essentially create one dick for the Btm to lower himself on to. The Btm will need some good upper body strength for this as he lowers himself down and steadies himself on top of the two tops. However, this is the position where the Btm has most of the control over thrusting and how deep the penetration is.

Tip: Because this is essentially creating one large penis for the Btm to sit on it can actually be harder to do. First, a lot of foreplay and fucking needs to happen before you attempt this to really relax the muscles. You could also try raising one of the Top’s hips up with a pillow under the butt, making his penis stand higher than the other, meaning the Btm can insert one, then the other.

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The Frogs Legs

IMAGE: Robert Flood

Now this position requires quite a bit of flexibility from all concerned but has 10/10 marks for views for all and well, just the feeling of achievement alone. It’s almost the exact reverse of the King of Clubs DP.

The Btm lays on his back, with his butt in the air and his legs towards his chest or shoulders. Both Tops face away from each other, butts touching, whilst squatting over the Btm and straddling one of the Btm’s legs, creating a crisscross or the look of frog’s legs. Then pointing their dick’s down, enter the Btm. The fun thing about this position is that both Tops can control the trusting and slipping out is less of an issue.

Tip: This position needs the Tops to have some flexibility in their dicks to be able to bend downwards. The Btm’s back can be supported with a pillow under his lower back or butt.

Remember

If it hurts or there’s blood or you’ve just had enough, say STOP. End it when you need to. The ass is a delicate area. The rectum’s lining is quite thin and too much trauma will damage it. This is not the time to just power through the pain, you could be causing damage.

The key is to relax, a little discomfort might happen, but the more you can chill and relax, the better it will become… and I promise it’s like nothing you’ve felt before (for tops and btms!).

Things that might need…

Numbing lube

Douche

Double Penetration Dildo

Images by Robert Flood, inspired by scenes from Lucas Film and TimTales

5th November 2020
These guys share their best experience of bottoming

Whether you’re a pro power bottom 2.0 or a novice and just getting into the swing (metaphorical or otherwise) it’s always interesting to know what other guys’ experiences of bottoming are. These guys share their best experiences of bottoming.

Drunken and early morning

First, I had about 7 drinks and was drunk. My bf drilled me for about two hours and it felt great (I finished three times)

Second, was a few weeks ago my bf woke me up in the morning jerking me off which led to him fucking me doggy. I also took my time riding his cock to warm up. VIA

Changing Up The Position

The day I realized that trying a different position would make it so it wasn’t painful. VIA

Smaller tops

I haven’t had many good experiences personally…. I have IBS and a pretty sensitive ass so all of this isn’t great for bottoming… The best ever was by a Chinese guy who had a 4-inch thin dick. He was very controlling which I found very sexy, grabbed my hair and basically dominated me. Cos his penis was on the smaller side and my butt just happened to be cooperating with me that day (IBS is very temperamental) it felt so good. Reached round to force him in harder. VIA

My ex

My ex fucked me until I was a mumbling mess, it felt so good. I don’t know if I finished or not. VIA

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Woke already inside

Best ever was a guy I came home from the bar with one night in college. The night before was a blur, but I know we fucked for a while. But he woke me up in the morning already inside me, and I’ve never felt anything like it. Whenever I jerk off and don’t have any porn around, this gets me every time. VIA

My toxic ex

My only good experiences bottoming and topping were with my second ex. He was a toxic, alcoholic, drug addict, trash wanna be rich boy, cheating whore monger, but it was some of the best sex I ever had as a top and a bottom. We came at about the same time or shortly before or after each other. He was the only one who could make me cum that way, and cum as fast as I did and be that horny for sex whenever. He dick was bigger but I got used to it even though he did tear me once. He was still a good bang. Haven’t been able to match that since. VIA

Sling it from the rafters

It was in a sling hanging from the ceiling, had straps for my feet up in the air. It was so awesome. I got in and he just stood there and moved the sling back and forth toward him. It was the most relaxing sex I ever had. VIA

28th October 2020
How To Massage Your Prostate
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located at the top of the bladder in front of the rectum. It is responsible for producing a fluid that is present in semen, it helps to keep sexual function healthy and since it is located just around the urethra, it helps to control healthy bladder function, too.

Despite all of its crucial functions, many men are largely unaware of what the prostate does and as a result, they don’t do enough to keep it healthy, via techniques such as prostate massage.

Three key benefits of prostate massage
1. It increases blood flow to the prostate gland to keep cells healthy and help the prostate function normally.
2. It can release toxins from the prostate which otherwise tend to build up and lead to enlargement, pain and discomfort.
3. When performed regularly, it allows men to check for changes in the size of the prostate, which could be a sign of prostatitis (infection of the prostate) or cancer.
How to perform a prostate massage

Prostate massage can be a little daunting and feel very unusual, to begin with, but it needn’t be uncomfortable providing that it is done slowly. To begin with, it is important to clear the bowels, since prostate massage can stimulate the bowels and give the urge to go to the bathroom. After this, it is beneficial to take a warm bath or shower to ensure the anal area is very clean and help to relax the muscles in preparation for massage.

(C) BIGSTOCK

What finger should you use to massage someone’s prostate?

Prostate massage can be done with the middle finger provided that it is long enough, but many men prefer to use a purpose-built prostate massage r instead. Ensure the massager or the hands are clean; it may be beneficial to use a condom or latex gloves to protect against infection. Apply plenty of lubricant to the finger or massager, and slowly place the finger over the anus.

Very slowly and without using too much force, gently rub the finger over the anus, moving back and forth until it enters the body. Continue this motion as the finger moves deeper into the rectum. The prostate is located three to four inches inside the rectum towards the penis; the finger or massager should therefore point slightly upwards.

Gently rub the finger over the prostate whilst contracting and releasing your sphincter muscles. Continue this for as long as feels comfortable; 20 to 30 minutes is a good length of time for a prostate massage but it may be a case of building up to this over a number of weeks.

Prostate massage can be performed once a week to keep the prostate in good condition. With a little practice, it becomes less daunting and a more enjoyable experience.

This article was first published in May 2015 and has been updated with links.
16th October 2020
Here’s why you shouldn’t use those free packets of lube you get at a gay bar

Before you read on, we want you to know that although this isn’t a paid-for advert, this article does reference products sold in our shop… which helps pay to keep THEGAYUK online.

We shouldn’t be settling for those little sachets you get for free at your nearest gay bar.

Let me make it clear, I’m not knocking the free lube. I love a freebie and those packets with the condoms have probably saved countless guys from contracting one infection or another. But… while those little sachets are good for emergencies or a last-minute shag, they shouldn’t be your main go-to when it comes to your lube options.

First off they are all water-based, this is because it is the cheapest to create and all water-based lubes are condom safe. However away from water-based, there’s a treasure trove of options, from silicone to hybrid to oil-based and they all feel and act differently different from each other and you may find that one feels better on your sensitive parts than the others.

When it hurts and you have to stop, it might actually be your lube causing the issue

I recently found this out myself. I usually went with one very well known brand, but I noticed that it stung almost every time I had sex, to the point where I’d want to halt proceedings entirely after a few minutes. Annoying for my partner, annoying for me… Preparation is time-consuming and you want all that effort to be worth it, am I right?

So I moved to a lesser-known brand, which was still waterbased and that stinging wasn’t so bad… Which made me think that not all lubes are created equal.

I decided to treat my booty and bought a bottle of silicone-based lube and the difference was astounding, something I found out in one particularly long session (with a couple of guys, I know I’m a minx, what can I say). The whole session felt great if I’m honest and because silicone-based lube is generally longer-lasting you actually don’t need too much.

Plus it tends to feel less tacky on your hands.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Good lube is an investment

Of course, silicone isn’t going to be for everyone, but I really found that it worked for me. Lubes are a bit of trial and error. You need to take some time to find what works for you. The trouble is lube isn’t cheap. So I spoke to this with our partner shop THEGAYSHOP about putting together a trial bag that contains a number of different lubes, in smaller sizes, so you can try before investing in a larger bottle.

There’s the mixed bag, which contains, water-based, silicone and hybrid lubes and there’s the silicone only the water-based only and the hybrid only bags.

We all deserve to have good sex and for us to feel comfortable as much as possible during it too and lube might just be the answer to enjoying sex without discomfort.

13th October 2020