THEGAYUK

Category: Love And Sex

  • Can we use ginger as an insertable during sex?

    This week a reader asks whether he and his partner can use a ginger root as an insertable during sex.

    “Hey guys,

    My partner and I want to be adventurous, and try vegetable insertion, and have been told ginger is particularly good as it gives a burning sensation.”

    Anon

    Dear Anon

    Oh dear god don’t. Have you ever put a ginger directly on to your tongue? It burns. Now multiply that by many times over and that’s what, I imagine, putting a ginger up yer bum will most likely feel like.

    Like chillies, ginger has chemical compounds that cause a burn. In ginger, the chemical is called Gingerol which is very similar to capsaicin – the heat and taste creating chemical in a chilli.

    Now if you’re looking for something that gives off heat that is warming whilst putting something up your ass – then there are loads of lubes that will give you that sensation. For instance, Durex’s Warming lube will effectively warm up your hole, without making it a ring of fire.

    Plus, it’s condom compatible and safe to use internally.

    stux / Pixabay

    If you’re looking for a bobbly insertable, there are many butt plugs or dildos on the market, like these anal beads from Carvaka that will give you interesting and unexpected feelings, down there.

    As with anything that you might think about putting up your bum, a good rule of thumb is, if it burns on the tip of your tongue, it will feel even more intense elsewhere. Remember, the anus is much more difficult to wash out, at speed, than your mouth.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    To get your sexual health and emotional questions answered click here.

  • Here’s how porn stars stay hard for so long

    Here’s how porn stars stay hard for so long

    Shooting a film takes a long time, there are loads of things to think about… angles, lighting, press shots, pack shots for the DVD (who still buys porn DVDs?)). The lists go on, but the performers have to stay hard – sometimes for hours on end. So how do they do it?

    Firstly there are the oral meds that performers can take. Viagra for instance.

    Pornstar Michael McLachlan told us, “Yes, of course, we take pills to help us get hard and stay hard during filming. Some scenes can take 3 hours some can take 5 hours. We have to do all the still images and promotional images that day also for DVD covers etc. So yeah we need something to sustain an erection while taking photos and no sexual stimulation is happening. We aren’t magicians. Though some guys can fit a lot up their ‘sleeve’”.

    Injectables

    Some guys take it one step further and use injectables, directly into their penises, which can cause erections without arousal. An “anonymous” legal rep for a gay porn star told Quora users, “Liquid ED drugs are injected straight into the penis. It lasts for 6-8 hours.

    Fluffers?

    Remember the term “fluffers”, well apparently studios used to hire someone specifically to get the guy ready and up before the scene’s start.

    Our anon legal rep continues, “… and fluffers were used to keep male actors hard. Before you ask, a fluffer is a male or female who fellates the actor’s penis just long enough to keep it aroused. In the 70s and 80s were actually hired and regularly paid to be “at the ready”

    Pumps

    Then there are the pumps. Pumps aren’t used that often because overusing them can actually be dangerous, and could lead to a burst blood vessel in the peen. Not nice.

    The edit

    Then there’s always editing. You know a scene might last more than a day. The stars may actually cum quite early on in the day and then come back to it, later on, and do different angles and positions later on in the day.

    Mark Myers, a sexual health expert on Quora said, “Porn stars may last longer than the average man, but a lot of what you see in porn is not “real”. For example, directors shoot multiple takes and lots of footage just to create one 20 minute scene.

    “Still, it’s reasonable to assume that male porn stars train themselves to last longer by practising deep breathing, frequently changing positions (and sometimes exercising during sex), and of course, lots of practice.”

    PICTURES FROM MEN.com grab your subscription today!

  • What’s on your gay-sex bucket list

    We’re interested… What’s on your bucket list?

    We’ve all done the vanilla thing, perhaps we’ve done the dressing up thing, maybe we’ve even gone a bit kinkier and done some light BDSM, so we want to know what’s on your bucket list?

    Share your answers anonymously below and we’ll be writing an article about the nation’s secret gay sex bucket list!


    If you can’t see the form click here to answer.

  • What’s the best way to apply lube for anal?

    What’s the best way to apply lube for anal?

    Unless you’re a new breed of human, if you’re gonna have anal, you’re gonna need lube. And lot’s of it.

    You’re about to do the deed and your partner is just about to stick it in – what’s the best way of making sure you’re lubed and, more importantly, there’s enough of it?

    So how do you apply lube?

    Well, there’s two schools of thought.

    The PreLuber: As a bottom or the receptive partner you can take control of the lube situation, by maybe putting some lube on or up your own butthole before you begin, perhaps as you’re getting ready – if you’re douching this might be the perfect time to do this after you’re done. Otherwise, the water inside you will flush away any lube.

    Use your fingers to get some lube right up inside you and you’re sex ready!

    Or you can buy, yes what a day and age we live in, a lube depositor, or lube launchers. Yep, there’s a device which can get the lube deep inside you. There are a number of different types from different makers. Check out the range here

    The Mid-flow: During the action, you can get your partner to start to apply lube to your ass during the foreplay. If you’re using flavoured lube, then he can also have fun whilst rimming you. Then when you’re ready to receive, you can cover your partner’s dick (condomed or without) with lube as you blow him or jerk him off. Make sure, though, if he is wearing a condom, not to use oil-based lube. Only water or silicon.

    Once he’s in, you’ll probably need to get him out of you after a few strokes and use a little more.

    Or if you’re the topper, you can maybe play with your partner’s ass during foreplay and use your fingers to fully lubricate his ass. Either way, you’re going to want to make sure that you use enough – and don’t worry about stopping the action if you feel like you need more.

    Remember more is more in these situations and it’s best to try a variety of lubes to see which works best for you.

  • How to check your balls for lumps and bumps

    Take the matter into your own hand…

    How to check your balls for lumps and bumps

    Finding lumps on your balls can be worrying, but there’s lots of stuff going on down there. Jackie Hall, Health at Hand operations manager at AXA PPP healthcare gives us some insight on how to check our balls for cancer.

    Testicular cancer is a male cancer which should be checked for regularly, and just like other cancers, it can be easier to treat if detected early. By regularly examining yourself, you are more likely to notice if anything changes or feels unusual so it is best to make this a part of your usual daily routine.

    The best time to check your testicles is after a warm shower, as this is when the skin is most relaxed, by following the below guide:

     

    Contrast and compare

    Rest your testicles in the palms of your hands and compare one testicle with the other for equal heaviness. A lot of men have one testicle which is larger than the other, or one that hangs lower than the other, so don’t worry if this is the case

    Roll them balls

    Place your fingers behind the scrotum and gently roll your testicle between your thumb and fingers

    Hard lumps?

    You are looking out for any hard lump or swelling – or any particular changes in shape. Make sure you check each testicle individually

    Does it seem normal?

    A normal testicle is oval shaped and feels firm, but not hard

    Heavy balls?

    Most cases of testicular cancer start with a painless lump in the testicle; though sometimes there can be pain or discomfort or a heavy feeling in the scrotum. Make sure you consult your GP as soon as possible if you experience any of these sensations, or if you find a lump

     

    If you experience any of the above symptoms for testicular cancer, make an appointment with your GP.

  • Let’s face it, would you really want to join this Pro-Trump dating site anyway?

    Trump Dating Site Bans Gays, Invites Straight And Married People

    Supporters of President Donald Trump got another place to find love with the launch of a new website – Trump.dating. The website launched in February helps people find friends and partners. However, it allows only straight men. (more…)

  • Over half of gay and bi men cheat on their partners, research finds

    New research has found that the majority of gay and bi men cheat on their partners.

    A survey of gay and bisexual men has found that 52 percent had cheated on their boyfriends and nearly 60 percent said they had been cheated on by their partners.

    Despite over half of partners cheating on their lovers, only 45 percent of these men said that their partners had found out about their unfaithfulness.

    The research, conducted by FS Magazine asked 961 gay and bisexual men about the times they had cheated and been cheated upon.

    Here’s what they found out:

    • 58% of respondents said a partner has been unfaithful
    • 52% said they had been unfaithful
    • 45% of these men said that their partner never found out
    • 17% said that they’d got an STI from being unfaithful
    • 61% of these men did not inform their partner
    • 40% of people in an open relationship said that either they or their partner has broken the rules of that relationship.

    Ian Howley, Chief Executive of HERO – the Health Equality and Rights Organisation, notes that communication is a fundamental issue in the relationships of gay men, “What’s clear to us from the results of the survey and what gay men told us about their experiences is that some gay men are making the same mistakes regarding communication, trust and boundaries.

    “There’s huge issue of gay men not being able to talk to one another about what they want sexually. We grow up in a very heterosexual society where ‘cheating’ is enough to end relationships and long-standing marriages because that’s what society has told us to do. And it’s not shocking to find that these standards are also put on gay men.”

    Ian adds: “I’ve met lots of gay couples who are perfect for each, emotionally, but sexually they didn’t work, or it just fizzled out but rather than work together on this, one or both of them cheats on their partner leading to the eventual breakdown of their relationship.

    “Now ‘cheating’ may start with flirting with a stranger or sliding into someone’s DMs on Twitter, but it only takes a few conversation exchanges before thoughts are put into action and then you have an issue that might bring the end to your relationship.

    “Of course sex is important for any relationship to work but you cannot and never will be able to meet the needs of someone 100% of the time. And we are foolish to put that pressure on ourselves.

    “If you are lucky to find someone that does it for you, is there for you emotionally, physically and treats you with the respect you deserve, then you must work on the relationship. Letting a relationship die because of sex is silly. More often he will work with you and you can work together to explore options that will keep your relationship tight.”

    HERO are also recommending that gay men in relationships get tested for STIs and HIV regularly. Ian said, “17% of the gay men who admitted to cheating on their partner got an STI or HIV. We recommend that all sexually active gay men, whether in a relationship or not, gets tested for HIV and STI at least twice a year.”

    The new issue of FS magazine is now available to download on iOS and via Pocketmags.

  • Here’s the average age gay guys lose their virginity

    So how old were you?

    A recent survey revealed the average of losing virginity in the gay community. Most gay guys said that they blossomed at just under 18-years-old (17.9 years) which is older than most bisexual people, who apparently lose theirs at 16.2 years old. Straight people tended to lose theirs at 17.6 years old.

    The survey questioned 1000 people, 500 Americans and 500 Europeans. They asked the respondents to “consider their sexual journeys as existing on a scale from 1 (not yet started) to 100 (entirely completed) and to recall specific catalysts and educational resources along the way.”

    Gay people tended to have their sexual awakening before other demographics but the last to act on them, with bisexual and straight people having sex first.

    We did wonder whether this was anal sex or oral – because well, generally what sex means in the gay world can vastly differ to what heterosexual people class as sex.

    Also, there is a lot less education about gay sex than there is about peen in vagina sex, you know, what with it not being a topic of discussion in sex education in schools.

    However, interestingly, the gays tend to have their sexual awakening occur first – at the tender age of 13.8 years-old whereas straight people become sexually aware at 15-years-old. Bisexual people at 15.4 years old.

    So how old were you?

  • If you don’t think your dating “preferences” are racist, here’s a helpful explainer video for you

    You might not consider yourself racist, but if you’ve ever uttered something along lines “I’m just not into black guys” you might be suffering some structural racism.

    Just because we are a marginalised demographic, doesn’t mean we don’t also further marginalise other people within our own community.

    Let us explain… or in fact let Dylan Marron explain something to you.

    In a video posted on the MTV Decoded Facebook page, Marron spells out that perhaps your “preference” of not wanting to go out with an Asian/Black/Mixed race guy could be a product of structural racism – because, in the Western world, we’ve all been brought up to believe that white/blonde/blue-eyed/twink/hairless (etc etc etc) is the beauty standard.

    He explains,

    “We actually learn how to define what is attractive from those around us. And because we’re raised within a framework of Western beauty standards, society often characterises non-white features as ‘different’ or ‘unattractive.’”

    And if you’re wondering if why this happens, he explains,

    “This is where structural racism comes into play. Because preferences are actually shaped by learned values. When you’re judging a person based solely on their racial background, you’re acting on generalisations you’ve learned to associate with that person’s appearance or heritage. You can’t say it’s their personality because you shut them down before you even got to know them.”

    WATCH BELOW

     

     

  • Here’s what you should know if you’re planning to have anal sex (and have piles)

    You can have sex if you have piles… but go carefully.

    I Have Piles... Can I Still Have Sex?

    Suffering from piles when you’re a bottom or even a power bottom could spell disaster for your sex life. The fact is that piles or haemorrhoids are a fact of life for many people.

    Piles are caused by swollen veins in the anus. They can be caused by straining when going to the toilet (number two), mainly during constipation, and many people don’t even know they have them – because they can occur inside your rectum – where you can’t see them.

    When they come out your bottom, that’s when they can become a bit of a problem.

    Does anal sex cause piles?

    Does anal cause piles?

    But before we go on, let’s clear one thing up, they aren’t caused by having anal sex.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz, a Public Health Practitioner at the Terrence Higgins Trust told us, “anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time of intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex”.

    So should you take a break from anal sex if you’ve actively got piles going on? Jose continues, “I would recommend using Preparation H (under a fiver) or Germoloids (over a fiver) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex, it is also important that you use a good water-based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple people or high-frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused.”

    He also suggests that they are unlikely to burst during sex, but suggests if the piles don’t clear up after a while that you book an appointment with your doctor to talk options.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to ask your question

  • 6 Facts You Should Know About Gonorrhoea

    Gonorrhoea is one of the most common STIs in the UK – but many people are still misinformed about how the infection is contracted and what the symptoms are. The team at the STI Clinic gave us six key facts about gonorrhoea we should all know.

    6 Facts You Should Know About Gonorrhoea

    5 percent of men will have the infection and show no symptoms.

    Around 95 percent of men will develop the symptoms of gonorrhoea within 2-7 days. It can take up to 30 days for symptoms to appear, but it is unusual for the infection to take this long to show. Five percent of men do not show any symptoms at all when infected with gonorrhoea.

    There are many different symptoms

    Symptoms of gonorrhoea vary hugely – and some people don’t develop any symptoms at all. Men who are infected can have some or all of these symptoms, depending on which area of the body contains the infection:

    • Conjunctivitis
    • Sore throat
    • White, yellow or green discharge from the penis
    • Inflammation of the foreskin
    • Swollen testicles
    • Discharge from the urethra
    • Pain during urination
    • A burning sensation in the urethra.

    Gonorrhoea can infect the genitals, eyes, throat and rectum

    The genitals are the most common area to be infected – but it’s not the only place that the disease can be found. The infection can also reach your eyes, throat and anus. Some of the symptoms of these areas will include discharge and itching, a sore throat, or red and painful eyes.

    Gonorrhoea is spread through genital, oral and anal sex

    The gonorrhoea bacteria can grow in the urethra, mouth, throat and anus. It cannot be spread through normal contact, contrary to popular belief. The bacteria cannot live outside the body for very long – so it can’t be contracted through toilet seats, sharing eating utensils or swimming pools.

    It can be treated

    The usual treatment for gonorrhoea is an intramuscular injection of Cefraxone accompanied by a single oral 1000mg dose of Azithromycin. If an intramuscular injection is not possible, then an oral medication can be prescribed.

    If you find out that you are infected, any sexual partners should be treated at the same time and any past sexual partners should be notified. If you are avoiding doing this because you don’t want to have an awkward conversation with a past sexual partner – remember that many clinics have a service that can let you notify your past partners anonymously.

    A drug-resistant strain of “super gonorrhoea,” has emerged

    The number of cases of this rare, new strain of gonorrhoea is slowly increasing. This is very alarming, and doctors are concerned that this new strain might soon become untreatable. This new strain is resistant to antibiotics and drugs, which is why if you are infected it’s important to finish your course of prescribed drugs, get tested again 2 weeks after treatment, and avoid sex for at least 7 days after treatment.

    If you are in doubt as to whether you have gonorrhoea – visit a GP or GUM clinic to get tested. Alternatively, if you are busy and want to avoid having to go anywhere to get tested, it is now possible to be sent out a test package discreetly in the mail. Simply supply a sample and send it back to get quick and easy results – it’s never been easier to ensure you are STI free.

    Advice by Ajay Jadhav from The STI Clinic.