Category: Love And Sex

7 stretches you NEED to do before you bone

Like any physical activity, sex is going to take a toll on your body, and whether you’re a top, a bottom, or a flip-flopping vers, there’s going to be a certain amount of work involved.

Pexels / Pixabay

This is why it’s important to be as limber and flexible beforehand in order to be ready for action. And so that you don’t cramp up halfway through your all-night-fuck-fest, here are seven of the best stretches before sex:

Note: Be sure to warm up.

It’s important that you’re not stretching cold muscles, as they’re more likely to cramp, or worse, snap. If you’re boning at the end of the day, your muscles will have had some activity and are probably fairly warm. Power walking home from work or running up and down the stairs will be enough to get your muscles switched on.

1. Rag Doll

You’ll probably notice that you’re especially stiff first thing in the morning… and not in a good way. So start with a simple forward fold to wake up your lower back and your hamstrings. Start with soft knees, not straight, and simply fold down as far as you can go. First thing in the morning that’s not likely to be far.

Support your weight by placing your hands on your thighs or shins if you can’t reach the floor. Round and soften your back and just let yourself hang there like a ragdoll (hence the name). Roll the spine up and repeat a few times.

2. Downward dog

Keifit / Pixabay

You could even use this one during your boning session ?

Downward dog is the king of all stretches as it works multiple muscle groups and requires you to be active while you stretch. From a forward fold, place your hands on the ground and step both feet back a comfortable distance.

Think about sending your tailbone up to the sky, sticking your butt out like a slut dog. Again, keep the knees soft, and spread your fingers and press your hands into the ground. The guy above is super flexible, so don’t worry about getting your heels on the ground straight away.

3. Low lunge

Pexels / Pixabay

Step out into a lunge, drop your back knee down to the ground and untuck your back toes. This will really help to open your hip flexors, vastly increasing your ability to thrust. Think about sending the front hip backwards, and the back hip forwards, keeping your hips nice and square to the front.

Sink down into the stretch as much as you can without collapsing onto the front hip, and make sure your front knee doesn’t extend past your toes.

4. Deep squat

Veex / Pixabay

It’s as simple as squatting down like you were taking a poop in the desert. Legs nice and wide (giggity), sink your bum down as far as it can go. Put your arms out in front of you for balance if you need it. If that’s easy, bring your hands together into prayer and press your elbows into your knees to open the hips further and deepen the stretch.

5. Lying deep gluteal stretch

If you’ve ever had a butt cramp during sex, then you’ll know it’s a real mood killer. So be sure to wake up and stretch those glutes before you get into it. Lying down on your back, bend your knees and rest your feet on the ground. Cross your right leg over your left knee, then grab the back of your left thigh and gently pull your legs towards you.

Keep your legs bent as your focus should be feeling the stretch in your butt rather than your hamstrings. Repeat on the other side.

6. Frog stretch

This one is a killer, but great if you really want to up your game in the bedroom. Not just for power bottoms, the frog stretch is an intensive hip opener. Improved flexibility there will mean you’re able to open your legs wider, but you’ll also have greater range of motion and stability when topping. Hard work, but worth it.

Start on hands and knees, bringing your knees as far apart as is comfortable. Rock back and forth in that position. Keep the balls of your feet on the ground, with toes pointed outward. Don’t feel like you should be flat on the ground, even ballet dancers can’t always get that deep.

7. Straddle stretch

I love a good straddle ?

This one feels like a throwback to 1980s aerobics classes (for those of you who are old enough to remember the golden age of Lycra and leg-warmers).

Sit on the floor with your legs spread apart as wide as possible without hurting yourself. Lean forward toward the floor with your arms extended, dropping your head and neck slightly. Don’t hunch over in order to reach the floor, keep your back fairly straight (pointing your toes makes it easier and a little gayer… in a good way). Try not to tense up and keep your body as relaxed as possible. Hold for 15-30 seconds, increasing each time.

18th June 2018
Here’s why numbing lube might not be so good for you

If you’ve ever thought about using numbing lube for anal sex, here’s maybe why it’s not such a good idea.

© Ongap | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

There are a number of numbing lubes out there for those who might be having problems with bottoming or trying out fisting, but there’s a downside which ultimate could cause more harm than good.

Speaking on the Talk About Gay Sex podcast, gay-sex positive doctor, Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical was warning against the use of numbing gels or lubes – especially if you’re planning to take something huge up your ass.

The problem with the numbing lube is that if you’re doing damage to yourself, you might not feel it.

Speaking with the two hosts Steve Rodriguez and Steve Carpenter, Dr Goldsten revealed, “A lot of people are using numbing lubricants or poppers or other to relax, and the reality of that, is that, it leads to injury because a lot of people don’t feel the trauma happening”.

Host Rodriguez answered, “Really numbing is a negative word, we should never be numbing ourselves of anything, emotionally, physically, because we’re just sort of masking it”.

Carpenter added, “There’s also a lot of nerves which can be pleasure nerves. If you’re numbing that you’re taking that pleasure away”.

Goldstein finished by saying that he was all for poppers or whatever gets you off, but you should only use that stuff when you’ve achieved full openness – rather than using them to get you opened up in the first place – so that you are more aware of what is happening with your body.

Sounds like good advice to us!

Listen to the show here.

17th June 2018
ADVICE | I have eczema on my penis, is there anything I can do to clear it up?

Eczema can happen all over the body, but what if you get it on your penis?

We asked the health experts at AXA PPP healthcare to shed some light on the issue and find out what you can do about it.

There are a number of skin conditions that can affect the penis, including atopic eczema (or atopic dermatitis) – the most common form of eczema. Unfortunately, there is no cure for eczema. It is a matter of discovering and avoiding allergens and preventing the skin from becoming dry by using medical moisturisers.

During a flare-up of eczema, the skin becomes red, inflamed and itchy, which can lead to swelling of the skin and tiny blisters which can then rupture. Infected skin can ooze clear or yellowish pus. Sometimes inflamed skin can become infected especially if it is around the penis, where there are more folds and creases.

In addition, there is increased exposure to bacteria from urine and faeces which can thrive in a warm environment. Eczema can be aggravated by temperature, irritants such as sweat and soap, stress, allergens and friction from tight clothing so it’s important to work out if any of these are aggravating your condition.

Make sure that you clean and wash your penis every day -instead of using soap, use an emulsifying ointment. efes / Pixabay

The penis needs to be washed once or twice a day, after fully retracting the foreskin. Instead of using soap, washing with a cream such as an emulsifying ointment, sometimes with the addition of an antiseptic ingredient, can be helpful. Ironically, after washing it is important to dry yourself thoroughly before applying any medical moisturizer. These emollients, together with applying creams on the normal skin areas, will help to repair damage to the skin’s natural barrier and reduce redness, swelling and itching.

Taking an antihistamine tablet will also help to stop the itching and reduce the urge to scratch. When you scratch the skin it becomes irritated, increasing your risk of infection and making the eczema worse.

Steroid creams, such as Hydrocortisone or Eumovate can also help during a flare-up to reduce the inflammation. As with all health problems, it’s important to see your GP for a detailed assessment.

14th June 2018
Is it rude to stare at a body part of someone you fancy?

“It’s normal to check people out. That’s attraction. Just don’t be creepy about it.”

luxstorm / Pixabay

We’ve all found ourselves there right? A guy who is unbelievably hot and you catch yourself staring. But what if you have a particular fixation on one part of the body – like his legs. This guy asked the internet whether it was rude to stare at some guy’s legs. He asked whether it was the equivalent of straight guys staring at boobs. Here’s what the Internet had to say.

composita / Pixabay

It’s rude, to stare. Glances are ok. Just drink plenty of water. (VIA)

Honestly, I’d be more flattered if I caught you staring at my butt. (VIA)

<

form id=”form-t1_dzuvthg9rx” class=”usertext warn-on-unload” action=”https://www.reddit.com/r/gay/comments/8ndn73/is_it_rude_to_look_at_guys_legs/#”>

<

div class=”usertext-body may-blank-within md-container “>

<

div class=”md”>

The difference between boobs and legs is that no one would really think anything weird if you’re caught looking at someone’s legs vs boobs. Especially a guy looking at another guys leg. (VIA)

<

div class=”usertext-body may-blank-within md-container “>

<

div class=”md”>

It’s normal to check people out. That’s attraction. Just don’t be creepy about it. (VIA)

I’ve found that I could do it pretty subtlety. And the fact that is was not something you would normally look at on a guy especially as a guy would give me a few extra seconds to look. (VIA)

A stealthy glance is the way to go. I just avoid the temptation to follow with eye contact, cause then it would be like I was screaming obvious. (VIA)

31st May 2018
Do gay men need to wear tampons?

There are so many questions that people have, especially when their information comes through the grapevine. So rather than letting myth turn to fact, we’ll answer them for you.

Do gay men need to wear tampons or adult diapers? Where to begin. Do you mean receptive gay men? I.e. Bottoms? Because you know it’s not just gay men who bottom. Ever heard of pegging?

So the question is more likely to be: “Do people who have anal sex need to wear tampons?” And the answer is nope. Not if you’re doing it right. Yes, there is a right and a wrong way of having anal sex. Misinformation and myths like this can lead to the idea that you can tell if a guy is straight or gay by giving him an anal examination. This sometimes happens in countries where homosexuality is illegal.

We’ve all heard the story of the guy that had anal sex so much that he couldn’t control his bowels and so he needed to wear a tampon to stop the poop. Whether this guy actually existed we’ll never know, maybe he did. But guys who are having regular receptive sex shouldn’t have any issues in controlling their bodily functions.

What is regular anal sex?

So what is “regular anal sex”, well it’s important to know two things about up-the-butt sex. Time and Lube are your friends. In fact, they’re best buds.

One of the most important muscles is your external sphincter. It like the main ring. It’s a powerful muscle that stops stuff from getting out (and in) but like any muscle, it can be damaged (and even better strengthened).

This and the lining of the rectum are delicate and if you’re too rough or haven’t prepared yourself properly, well you can cause yourself damage, which is why it’s important to communicate how you’re feeling with your “top”.

Doctor Rick Viney, a consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, told us that “Rapidly and forcefully overstretching the anus can tear the anal sphincter which can result in the need for surgical repair. The sphincter can be gently dilated over a short period of time using devices like a plug or a gradual increase in the number of fingers inserted.”

The butt, will after dilation return to its normal size shortly after sex. If you’ve done something more extreme, like fisting, it may take a longer time to go back to normal.

But what if you have lots and lots of anal sex.

Well, regularly having anal sex isn’t really enough for you to need you to wear a tampon. Naturally, if you’re having a lot of sex, you might find your hole does become looser, but you shouldn’t lose control altogether.

If you do find yourself or feel that you’ve become looser, there are exercises that can help you retain a tight ring. The NHS recommends a series of exercises. In one they suggest engaging your muscles like you are trying to stop a fart. They write,

“Try squeezing and lifting that muscle as tightly as you can, as if you are worried that you are about to leak. Your buttocks, tummy and legs should not move much at all. You should be aware of the skin around the back passage tightening and being pulled up and away from the chair. Really try to feel this. You are now exercising your anal sphincter”.

There’s a way of holding that feeling for as long as you can. Like imaging that your sphincter muscle is a lift and that you’re taking it to the fourth floor and holding it while the passengers get out and then back down again.

If you can’t go to the fourth, try the 2nd!

You get the idea.

The best thing about exercising these muscles is that you don’t need an expensive gym membership or even proper work out clothes. You can do them in your car at the traffic lights or on your way to work on the train. No one will know. Unless you turn to your fellow passenger and tell them. We suggest you don’t do this. It might freak them the F out.

31st May 2018
This is why it could be taking some guys an age to climax

No two of us are the same and that’s never more so true when it comes to our pink bits and all of it works.

Why does it take some guys so long to explode? calibra / Pixabay

No doubt you’ve encountered a guy that takes an age to cum, or maybe, you are that guy, well, we’ve been chatting to a doctor to find out why it might take some guys so long to climax and why it might not always be a bad thing.

Okay, it might be a bad thing if you’re the bottom and you’re waiting for your guy to finish up, after all, there’s only so much you can take of the D before it all becomes too much (amirite?)

But don’t forget climax doesn’t have to happen in anyone’s butt. It can happen anywhere. His chest/your chest/his face/ your mouth, the options are endless really. Just don’t forget to switch it up if it all gets too much.

But why does it take some guys so long to ejaculate?

But why does it take some guys so long to ejaculate? 4924546 / Pixabay

Well, Doctor Rick Viney consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham suggests that it’s mostly in the mind rather than physical. He tells us, “Being very aroused will see you cum quickly, being distracted can see you fail to get there all together”.

So is it all down to distraction? No, Viney goes on to suggest that some guys might be trying to actually delay their climax – a bit like edging, but for their partner’s benefit, but if this isn’t working for you, remember communication is the key to practically everything.

Dr Viney also suggests that delayed ejaculation could be happening as a side effect of certain drugs.

He explains, “If the guy is using Viagra (sildenafil) or Cialis this will make for great erections but can inhibit climax, making it much harder to cum. If you want staying power, this could be seen as an advantage”.

23rd May 2018
These guys share what they think when there’s a poop incident during sex

Rinse, Wash and Repeat

Does sex end when poop happens during anal sex?

Pooping is a fact of life when you’re dealing with the butt and anal sex. Yep, for the most part, the butt is where waste leaves your body – and to that end, nothing really to be ashamed about. We all do it.

If you’re bottoming, there are ways to minimise a poop event, by being careful of what you eat before sex and also taking time over your cleaning preparation. But, sometimes even the most careful of us, will have that moment of, “oh sht, that’s sht”.

Don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. There are some options for you. You can both jump in the shower and have a wash down, or if your partner is up for it, flip roles!

ALSO READ: What’s a white-glove bottom?

ALSO READ: 10 things you should know about rimming

Is it the end of play if poop happens during sex?

So what happens if you accidentally have a pooping incident during sex, these nine guys share what they think when the shiz hits the fan.

1) “Wash, rinse, repeat.” (VIA)

2) “If neither one can get by with a little poo then neither one should be having anal in the first place. Shit happens. It’s a butt – what’d you expect?” (VIA)

3) “Usually, I think that ends anal for the night. Hop in the shower, rinse off, resume oral/body contact/making out. I’ve never gone back to anal after an incident lol but that’s nbd”. (VIA)

4) “Clean up and proceed or flip roles if they happen to be clean. It’s really only a problem if you don’t have a place to wash up around.” (VIA)

5) “Take it to the shower, with silicone lube in hand. Ta-da.” (VIA)

6) “It’s an occupational hazard, like catching a pube when you’re giving a blowjob. Grow up, and towel off, I guess? Humanity is repulsive if you look at it with any seriousness. I find accepting that goes a long way.” (VIA)

7) “It’s the ass’ way of communicating. It says “I want more”” (VIA)

8) “Yeah, have to say I laugh at the tops who get all squeamish about guys ‘cleaning’ beforehand. You are putting your penis into an asshole. It’s where poop comes from”. (VIA)

9) “It’s just literally the male equivalent to a queef. If you’re pounding air into something it’s going to release. The bottom doesn’t even usually know it’s going to happen”. (VIA)

15th May 2018
What is ghosting and why does it happen?

This brave new world of ours is full of terms and acronyms, but what does Ghosting mean?

In a world where there’s an acronym or term for everything, Ghosting is where a guy you’ve been chatting to on an app, or even have hooked up with, simply doesn’t return your messages or calls. Not even a tag…

That’s right, you’ve put in the time, even gone to dinner and then, without explanation he’s gone into the night, like a ghost. Never to be heard of again.

Bastard.

pedrofigueras / Pixabay What is ghosting?

Why does ghosting happen?

There could be a number of reasons why a guy might suddenly stop messaging you. Perhaps he wasn’t totally up front with you about his personal circumstances, he could be married or in another relationship.

[totalpoll id=”126850″]

It could be something you said that really offended him or it could be that he said something that totally embarrassed him, and he’s too ashamed to speak to you again.

Where can ghosting happen?

The crazy thing about ghosting is that it can happen IRL and virtually. You can be ghosted on dating apps or on social media. On Grindr, we’ve found that ghosting is quite common. In a recent survey, we found that 88% of Grindr users had said that they had been ghosted on the app.

StockSnap / Pixabay

If he’s gone off social media or his dating profile is no longer active, then something even more final could have happened. The problem is that you’ll never know.

[totalpoll id=”126852″]

The best thing is to be happy for the time you had together and move on. Don’t live in the past, look to the future.

Is Ghosting the same as Zombie-ing?

Although they are linked, Ghosting and Zombie-ing are different. Zombie-ing is where your ghost, the one that you thought you’d never hear from again, suddenly comes back to life and starts wanting to hang out again. Let’s face it Zombie’s and Ghosts should be ignored and your attention should be focused on the land of the living.

15th May 2018
Will having anal sex cause anal cancer?

Nothing makes us happier than healthy bottoms… So here’s what you need to know about anal sex and what might cause it.

Healthy bottoms are happy bottoms

Anal cancer, although rare, is still a killer disease if it’s not caught in time, but the act of anal sex will not cause cancer, Dr Rick Viney, consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham told us.

In fact, less than 1200 people are diagnosed with anal cancer in the UK every year.

Apparently what you need to look out for is for the transmission of HPV, the virus responsible for genital warts. “The virus responsible for genital warts (HPV) can ultimately lead to the development of a type of anal, penile, cervical and oral cancers called squamous cancer, Rick warns.

HPV is the name for a group of viruses that affect the skin and moist membranes lining the body such as the cervix, anus, mouth and throat. HPV infections are highly contagious when transmitted sexually.

Some strains of the HPV virus can cause genital warts, and cancers of the anus, penis, mouth and throat. In some cases, it can also cause head and neck cancer.

In the UK, teenage girls are offered the HPV vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. There is no plan to vaccinate teenage boys. However, in 2016, 40,000 gay and bisexual men were offered the HPV vaccine to ward against contracting HPV.

What else can cause anal cancer? Well the NHS website suggests that smoking can be a cause and having a weakened immune system, for example, if you have HIV could also be a cause. For women, cancer history also plays a part. If you’ve had cervical, vaginal or vulval cancer could be cause for concern.

What are the symptoms of anal cancer?

Symptoms for anal cancer are very similar to other, less serious conditions. If you’re worried about your bottom’s health, go see a doctor.

Anal cancer can be symptomless and the symptoms that can occur can be similar to less serious conditions like piles and anal fissures.

According to the NHS website, these include: bleeding from the anus, an itchy or painful bottom, small lumps around the anus, a mucus discharge or loss of bowel control.

If you have any concerns, as always, we suggest you consult your doctor.

9th May 2018
Can I get PrEP on the NHS for free if I’m a gay man?

The PrEP drug has been a game changer in the field of HIV prevention, but is it available on the NHS for gay and bisexual men?

It all depends is the short answer. PrEP is not freely available on the NHS in most parts of the UK, but you can take part in a trial in which 10,000 gay and bisexual men (and other people at a higher risk of getting HIV) can get the drug for free. The trial began in 2017 and is called the IMPACT trial. You can find out which areas are taking part in the trial and whether they still have availability for men to join.

Many clinics outside London are still looking for participants.

In Scotland PrEP is available on the NHS.

Alternatively, you can get prescribed PrEP in London via the Dean Street sexual health clinic. You can also buy PrEP online, this company offers the drugs from £19 per month.

What is PrEP and does it stop you getting HIV?

Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, it is a drug treatment protocol using a prescription medicine called Truvada and has been shown in a recent trial to be highly effective in preventing HIV in gay and bisexual men, when taken daily and used in combination with other infection prevention measures.

Truvada contains two medicines (tenofovir and emtricitabine) and is already routinely used in combination with other medicines to treat existing HIV infection.

Does PrEP stop other STIs?

Pharmacy2U’s Clinical Governance Pharmacist Phil Day gave this warning however on why sometimes using a condom when having sex is best practice,

“While advances in medicine mean that most people living with HIV are now unlikely to contract AIDS, you should still always wear a condom. They also provide protection against a number of other Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and syphilis.

“In fact, there’s been a rise in sexually transmitted diseases for the first time in decades because many people are ignoring advice on wearing a condom.”

7th May 2018
These are the 9 things every gay man needs in his bedside drawer

What’s in your bedside drawer? Is it full of random stuff? You know, the kind of stuff that you just don’t know what to do with? Clear it all out and make sure you have these 9 essential items in your nightstand.

CREDIT: CC0 Public Domain / Pixabay / Unsplash

Condoms

There’s no point in having your condoms in the bathroom in a completely separate room from where all the action is happening. Make sure your condoms are right in grabbing distance. Even better so that you don’t ruin the flow of your night put them under your pillow. Also, don’t forget to stock some non-latex condoms. Some guys may have a negative reaction to latex.

Even if you’re in a long-term relationship and don’t use condoms anymore, it’s always good to have some in stock if you both decide to have a third/fourth or fifth around for some fun. Make sure any rubbers you have are still in date.

Lube

And don’t just have one type of lube. Have a variety. As they say, variety is the spice of life. Depending on what you’re doing you might need different lubes. If you’re using condoms make sure you’re using silicone or water based lubes, if you’re going bare you might prefer a more oil based or buttery lube. If toys are your thing you should use water-based lubes.

The gay man’s Kama Sutra

Want to up your bedroom game? Get this book to give you ideas and some insightful tips on new positions. Wow your partner with some new moves with the gay man’s Kuma Sutra.

Breath mint

Worried about morning breath? There’s nothing worse than breath can peel the wallpaper off from fifty feet. Pack some mints in your bedside drawers. Then pop one in first thing if you’re planning for a morning bonk.

Pad and pen

Ever wake up in the mid of night with the world’s most amazing idea and completely forget it by the morning? Keeping a pen and pad by your bed is key to collecting all those midnight memories. Also if you’re not sure you’ll remember the name of the person you’ve just gone to bed with you can always jot it down!

Glasses

If you need glasses keep a set by your bed, especially if you like reading or watching TV last thing at night. Also, comes in very handy if you need to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

Some toys

Sex toys deserve to be placed near to where the action is going to take place. That way you can seamlessly integrate them into your sex life.

Cum rag

Yep. When the business is done, don’t go searching high and low, have a rag on hand to clear up all the mess. Also can be great to have a cloth or scrap of material to place used toys or condoms on ready to clear up in the morning.

Bio Oil

I know this a random choice, but it’s a perfect night oil for your face. Wake with softer more youthful skin. This is a grooming product I absolutely swear by.

2nd May 2018