Category: Trending

Should you be taking Viagra and poppers together?

“…a significant drop in the blood pressure that can lead to collapse and death”

CREDIT: TheGayUK

Those are the words of a doctor who is warning users that mixing Viagra and poppers together could cause some real damage to health, after a new study revealed that over half (55 percent) of people who use Viagra have also used poppers alongside them. Over half of those said they had no idea of the dangers of mixing.

In the survey by AssuredPharmacy over 1400 people were questioned about their popper usage, 80 percent admitted to using poppers and over half admitted to using poppers regularly.

Aside from a headache, potential skin burns and fainting, poppers are known to cause a drop in blood pressure, and mixing with Viagra according to one doctor, could be very dangerous.

Speaking to THEGAYUK.com Dr. Roisin McHugh BSc, MBBS, MRCGP, DRCOG, DCH, DGM, DPD said, “Alkyl nitrites, commonly known as poppers, if taken in combination with sildenafil (Viagra) can have a dangerous effect. The combination will cause a drop in blood pressure, this can be a significant drop in the blood pressure that can lead to collapse and death”

Are poppers safe?

Many gay and bisexual men use poppers and don’t suffer any issues, however, their usage does come with warnings. For instance, they can cause death if swallowed. Also, people who have heart problems should stay away from using them – especially when combined with other medications, such as Viagra. They can cause a person’s blood pressure to drop incredibly low.

Doctor McHugh also warned about skin burns, saying, “Poppers cause chemical burns if you get the liquid on your skin and don’t wash it off with water quickly enough. In rare cases, there are also some reports that poppers can cause impaired vision or sight loss, although this may be reversible if you stop using them. If you abuse them heavily you can experience crusty yellow facial skin lesions around the lips, nose and mouth”.

In 2014 optometrists warned about vision loss in those who habitually use poppers. There have been reports of temporary and permanent vision loss. It is referred to as “poppers maculopathy”.

If you experience any issues with your eyesight you should seek medical advice.

19th September 2018
What is a side? Guys who just who aren’t into bottoming or topping?

Not into topping. Not into bottoming

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There’s a relatively new term for guys who don’t like having anal sex. Yep, guys who aren’t into topping or bottoming. Some are identifying themselves as “sides”.

Although the term itself is not getting the love it might deserve. As the LGBT+ community expands and adds more identities shouldn’t Sides be getting the recognition they warrant?

There’s a lot of emphases on anal sex in the gay, bi and curious community. Editor of THEGAYUK.com, Jake Hook says, “We are in a world where we’re expected to make instant proclamations on what we’re into. There’s a lot of pressure to define yourself as one or the other and the assumption that sex has to end up with penetration. Where does that assumption come from?

“First on the list is gay porn. All scenes tend to end up in anal sex. It’s become the standard.

“Secondly, the apps we used often ask us to pigeonhole ourselves into tribes including whether we’re tops, bottoms or vers.

“Thirdly, penetration is the world’s goto sex act – and it’s pretty heteronormative. In media we constantly see people going at it. One moment they are kissing the next he’s whipping off his trousers and she’s hitching her skirt. Straight to the penetration, without too much discussion about the other types of sex you can have.”

So who or what is a side?

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It’s a guy who’s not into anal sex of any type instead he’ll be into kissing, hugging, oral and other types of sexual activity. Also, guys who cannot have anal sex might be considered a side. For instance, those who have had prostate surgery may not be able to have penetrative sex. It doesn’t mean that sex stops. It changes as prostate cancer campaigner Martin Wells told us.

So what are the other types of sex you can have without penetration?

There’s a whole world of sex that doesn’t end up with P in A action. Mutual masturbation, cock2cock frot, frottage, scissoring, oral, rimming, digital penetration, tantric, toy play, role play. Take your pick. All of those can end up with one or both of you climaxing, without the need to put a dick in an ass.

Where does the term “side” come from?

It appears that the term “side” was coined by Joe Kort Ph D in an article written for Huffington Post. Unfortunately, the author doesn’t explain the reason behind the word.

Defining Sideism he said, “Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so”.

18th September 2018
Is addiction really a problem in the gay community?

Leading Psychotherapist and Founder of Natural supplement brand Eudaemon Jane Barnfield Jukes reveals what you can do to step towards an addiction-free life.

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The comedienne, Hannah Gadby in one of her sketches asks “Why is it that from birth men and women are assigned to opposing teams? Pink and blue.”

The societal norms created around sexuality are simply not fit for purpose. If you don’t belong to either team, the path of discovery you find yourself on can be full of cracks and potholes. Tripping over these obstacles can result in feelings of deep insecurity, anxiety and conflict. People struggle with “not knowing.” Until society addresses and accepts the diversity inherent in the population, people will experience the suffering associated with “Who am I?” and “Where do I fit?” When caught in this struggle it can be quite tempting to turn to drugs and alcohol to help ease the strain.

Over the years research has led to the creation of certain beliefs around substance misuse and addiction. Some believe that it plays a role in our “life script.” Others feel that is used as a crutch to numb the pain and anxiety they feel. More recently others state that it can be viewed as an attachment issue – we become attached to the substance as it can never leave and will always be there for us.

Whatever the reasons they are certainly complex and are personal to each us.

What we, as therapists, have noticed when working with members of the LGBT community is that aspects of this environment can present our clients with even more of a challenge on their road to recovery.

Some say the LGBT community has a more hedonistic culture with less clearly defined boundaries. Less restraints may lead to more risk-taking behaviour in turn leading to shame and regret, often turning to substances to help alleviate the discord this conflict brings. Once addicted the prevalence of drugs and alcohol in the LGBT community can make kicking the habit very difficult. In addition, it can be hard to find the willpower to refrain from substance misuse as often the strongest attachments and bonds are with people who have the same exposure to this vibrant environment.

Famous sociologist, Helen Fischer, suggests that some drugs mimic the same reaction in the brain as being in love – a strong attachment in and of itself. Some substances certainly take away our inhibitions and help us feel like we are more “ourselves.”

A widely used term these days is self-medicating. A more positive view of this might be that people are merely searching, trying to help themselves find relief.

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Here are some helpful tips to help you help yourself

You might want to find an experienced therapist familiar with addiction issues who, in a non-judgemental environment, will help you work out what is going on with you, help you to take responsibility and encourage you to be honest with yourself. You may find your conscious mind may very much want to change your addictive behaviours, but your unconscious mind might have very different ideas. Psychologists call this the paradoxical injunction. Therapeutic intervention may help you place your conscious mind in the driver’s seat and enable you to take control.

Set realistic goals for yourself defined by you and not society.

Delegate to the page – keep a diary that way you can recognise triggers and helpful, as well as hindering, behaviours. You might find it helpful to keep and a detailed and honest drink diary.

Try engaging in groups that refrain from substance misuse.

Developing a bank of poems, mantras and mindfulness techniques that you can turn to in stressful times can be helpful.

Find a substance abuse group.

Engage in meaningful activities – make a difference.

Most importantly when trying to abstain or cut down on substances should a slip or relapse occur be kind to yourself. Don’t engage in catastrophic thinking – we would encourage you to reframe it as a slip or bump in the road on your path to a healthier way of being.

By Jane Barnfield Jukes from www.eudeamon.com and Daniel Avital,  www.thepractice.co.uk

10th September 2018
How to give a really good handjob

Not every sexual encounter needs to end up in P in A or even a blowjob, behold the simple handjob.

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It’s super quick and easy, and what’s more, you really don’t need any preparation to give each other a handy shandy. What’s more, it’s one of the safest forms of sexual activity.

Technique. What feels good to you, might not feel good to the other person. So listen for signs that it’s all going well. If in doubt ask. You don’t have to be silent during sex.

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Position. You know what, jerking someone else off can be a tiring experience, especially if they take a while to climax. So if you’re lying side by side, make sure the person receiving is on your dominant side, so right-hand side if you’re right-handed, or left-hand side if you’re left-handed. But why not forgo the side by side action and slip in behind them and reach around to their front. This position can be done standing, sitting or kneeling behind the person. To add a little more intensity add a bit of reach around kissing. Hot AF.

Face to Face. To add extra intensity, stand, knee or sit face to face and look into each other’s eyes as you beat the jerky. Having a front view can give you all the telltale signs that someone’s close to orgasm and you get to look at goodies. Win-win really.

Out and about? Half the fun is that the handjob can take place almost anywhere. Now we’re not advocating anything illegal, but maybe a surprise handjob the next time you’re out for a ramble on the moors – might just be the ticket.

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Double-handed. This goes hand in hand with technique really. Placing both hands over someone’s genitals can add double the pleasure and give a different feeling to the fist on helmet action. Plus if the person you’re with has bollocks, then cradle those bad boys, and give ’em a stroke.

Change the routine You know, not every handjob has to be a fist around a cock. Have you tried simple head rubbing? Take your thumb and rub in circular motions on the back of the head of the penis (not on the helmet). It’s a great way of slowing things down and changing the tempo. He’ll be squirming with joy.

Different equipment requires different technique. If your subject hasn’t got a foreskin, or the foreskin happens to go right back when he’s erect, you’ll need to adjust your technique. Spit can make for a makeshift lube if you’re out and about, but it’s probably good to make sure there’s lube nearby.

While we’re on the subject of lube, why not true some warming lube or tingling lube for extra sensations. It’s not for everyone, but worth a punt.

Here’s the rub, you’re probably never going to be as good at giving a handjob as the person receiving does it to themselves, after all, they’ve probably been practising on themselves forever. So give yourself a break – and just enjoy the intimacy the interaction can create.

Have you got tips? Use the comments below to let us know what your favourite technique is.

31st August 2018
What if you’re straight, but feel a desire for gay sex?

Is Sex different from Sexuality?

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When one straight identifying guy on Reddit said that the thought of having sex with another man gave him “butterflies in his stomach” but didn’t he was “gay enough” to do it, people were there to guide him.

Society problems?

So what’s really holding guys back from experimenting with someone of the same sex? This poster wrote that he had an image of him as a “straight guy loving girls” but his feelings go the opposite way – despite not having a specific crush on a guy.

He wrote,

“…I got an image of myself as a straight guy loving girls and my feelings go in the opposite direction. I love masculinity and want to be a submissive guy. I hate being dominant while/and having sex with girls. But I never thought of going in bed with a specific guy, I never had a crush on a guy. This is “not gay enough”.

So is he in love with the idea of being straight, but his heart is telling he’s gay, bi or curious? He wrote that he once tried a blowjob but felt deeply ashamed afterwards.

Society’s push?

This user suggested that society had its role in defining our sexuality and what is right and wrong, saying,

“That’s just society that has shoved that idea in your head.
“I felt guilty AF after I gave my first blowjob to the point where I ran away from my boyfriend (at the time)’s apartment and cried and threw up a bunch.

“You can get over that and become comfortable with yourself. I sure did, and it didn’t take too long.”

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Get stuck in

Another poster was a little more upfront with his suggestion

“suck some dick and see what happens”

What’s “Gay Enough” mean?

Another suggested,

“If you’re a man and you want to have sex with another man, that makes you gay enough. You could be anyone from the most macho muscleman to the most femmy twink, and it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you want to have sex with another man. That’s all it takes to be “gay enough”.

“What’s wrong with you is that you’re holding yourself back from doing something you want to do. What you should do is have sex with another man.

Another chipped in

I’d recommend you just start experimenting. Take it slow, though, and make it clear that you’re new at this.

Bisexual? Pansexual?

This user pointed out that the OP might not be homosexual, but rather someone who is sexually attracted to all sexes and genders,

“Your [sic] probably bi or pan and have inner-homophobia from religion, family, culture, whatever. Go out, or on an app, be honest on those apps and guys, have some condoms and lube handy and have sex with men. Good luck, have fun.

30th August 2018
Is it safe to use a carrot in the bedroom?

It might seem like a wise move – after all carrots are phallically shaped and are cheap as chips but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.

The problem is that they don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out – wide end first. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.

What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.

Sex and Fruit

Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

Oh did I say use lots of lube…

Alternatives?

If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.

If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must.

9th August 2018
ADVICE | If I can’t handle a finger, how will I manage a dick?

A reader asks advice on whether he’ll ever be able to have anal sex, especially as he finds it uncomfortable fingering himself.

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Dear TGUK

I find it quite uncomfortable when fingering myself and i get sore from it. I actually want to try being a bottom but since I can’t handle fingering I don’t think I could do it with another person, what do you think I should do?

Ty, 18

Dear Ty

Everyone’s ass is different and so is its ability to take various sized objects. Barring any medical reason, like anal fissures or piles it sounds as though you just need time and practice. As you’re quite young, the odds of you having fissures or piles is quite slim, but not impossible. If in any doubt you should definitely book to see your GP or visit to a sexual health clinic, who will be able to give you a sexual health check and you can discuss any issues you have.

In your letter, you didn’t mention whether you use lubrication when you try and finger yourself. If not, you should invest in some lube – but if you’re not in a situation where you can buy lube there are alternatives. There are, however, some liquids you shouldn’t use as a lubricant – these include body lotions and shampoo as these will irritate and potentially make your insides feel like the gates of hell.

If you can’t get hold of proper lube, it’s best to use a natural, unperfumed oily liquid. When you’re just by yourself there are a number of lube substitutes around the home that you can use, like olive oil, coconut oil, vaseline and aloe vera gel – none of these are good to use during sex with a condom. They will destroy the integrity of the condom. Always use a lube designed for condom usage.

Also, make sure you cut your nails and smooth them off. It’s important not to have jagged nails as you could catch your insides and cause a tear or rip internally.

Time is your friend

The trick with taking anything larger than a finger is time and patience and you should communicate that with anyone you have sex with. Don’t feel rushed into taking the D before you’re ready.

A word to the wise, it probably will hurt the first time you bottom for someone – and the chances are that you won’t be able to take it for very long either, but with time and practice (either by yourself or with a partner) you will be able to take it for longer and longer.

Most guys can’t bottom for that long – even though porn can make it seem that they’re taking dick for hours at a time. It’s just one of those unrealistic expectations that gay porn has given us! Most guys cum within minutes of starting penetrative sex, a study found that men can last anywhere from 1 minute to 10 minutes, so you don’t need to be an ass athlete. You can always ask your topper to stop as well. Your body your rules.

Practice Makes Perfect

By yourself, after one finger, there are two fingers. Some people may want to try experimenting with various fruits and vegs, but there are some issues with using anything that doesn’t have a flared end. Without the splayed bottom it could disappear up inside you and that’s where problems can really begin. Ideally, you should try and buy a dildo or butt plug designed for ass play.

Take your time

There’s no rush – and when it comes to the actual sex take your time. If you’ve got time to prepare, you might want to douche (where you use water to get rid of poop in your anal canal and rectum) and lots of foreplay. Yes, get your guy to rim you and play and finger your butt.

The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

Have you got a sexual or emotional dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here to send us a message.

7th August 2018
Did you know that homosexuality is found in over 1500 species on earth?

Same-sex attraction has been found in 1,500 species of animals through behaviour observation research studies. There are probably many more species if you consider that the number only accounts for the animals that have been studied. Here’s ten animals were gay liaisons or relationships exist:

1. Lions

CREDIT ©-nicunickie1-Depositphotos

Male lions in Africa have been observed disregarding available lionesses to form their own same-sex prides. These same males have also been seen mounting one another and doing other actions commonly associated with male to female mating interactions.

NEXT >>> Cheetahs

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26th July 2018
5 things you should definitely not use as lube

Whatever you do, don’t ever, ever ever use shampoo

Lube is the fountain from which great sex happens. Whether it’s for anal sex or just cuddly wanks, never start without it! Here are a few things that aren’t wise to use as a lubricant. Most, will at best, not provide enough wetness and at worst leave you open to STIs or tears or great discomfort during anal sex (for both the top and bottom).

Baby Oil

Baby oil is fine if you’re going bareback, but is a total no-go if you are using condoms. It will, like all lubes, which aren’t water or silicon-based, destroy the condom’s integrity.

You might also find that baby oil is a little too thin for proper lubrication – especially if you’re planning to take something bigger than a finger up your ass.

Plus have you tried getting oil out of bed sheets? It’s a nightmare.

Plus if you’re going to be doing any ass to mouth, the ingredients may be toxic – and if not toxic will taste gross AF.

Shampoo

bijutoha / Pixabay

If you’re having a quicky in the shower don’t forget to take your lube with you. Don’t use shampoo it will sting like buggery. It’s best not to put liquids up your ass that aren’t designed to be up there. This user on Yahoo Answers shared a horror story of serious pain when shampoo got in their urethra.

Same again with the A to Mouth stuff. Look out for poisonous ingredients.

NEXT >>> PAGE 2/2

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25th July 2018
4 totally legitimate reasons why you don’t have to swallow

To swallow or not to swallow that is the question.

Some guys are totally into the guzzling (we see you) but some guys just aren’t into it, and if you’re not that’s cool too. After all, it’s your body, and you’re in charge of what is going in and out of it.

So what exactly is in cum? Well apart from your little swimmers, semen is made up of fructose, which makes up about 70 per cent of the liquid. Then there’s the prostatic secretion, which is the whitish/clear liquid. That contains, enzymes, citric acid, acid phosphatase and lipids. Per 100 MLS – it has about 28 mg of calcium, 5 mg of protein and 300 mg of sodium!

So here are four totally legitimate reasons for not wanting to swallow.

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I Just Don’t Want To

Not wanting to is probably the most important one. It’s your body, your choice and if you’re not feeling the man mayo, then that’s your call. So don’t be afraid to say to your partner, “no cumming in my mouth”. Make it clear that when he’s ready to blow his load to tell you.

You Just Brushed Your Teeth

When you brush your teeth, you can cause little ruptures in the skin or cause gum bleeding, especially true if you also floss. Getting semen into open wounds could potentially, although the risk is lower than anal sex, mean that you open yourself up to infection if the guy you’re with has an STI. GMFA suggests, that it is possible to get HIV from sucking dick, “but the likelihood of this occurring is low. No one knows exactly how risky sucking cock is, partly because most men who suck cock will also fuck or get fucked as well and it is impossible to know which sexual act is responsible for the transmission of HIV. Very few men whose only reported risk is from oral sex have caught HIV, which leads us to believe that the risk is relatively low”.

You’re Actually Semen Intolerant

Yep, there are people in this world who have an intolerance of the boy juice. It is a rare condition, but it does exist. Symptoms can include swelling, trouble breathing or anaphylaxis.

It can take up to 30 minutes for symptoms to start to take effect.

You Don’t Like The Taste

Nobody is saying that you have to eat cum if you don’t like the taste. No one would force you to eat something that actually makes you want to heave – well except Brussell Sprouts at the dinner table when you were a kid. So, if you don’t like the taste don’t feel you have to. You’re not going to offend – after all you’re giving him a damn BJ!.

Do you like to swallow?

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16th July 2018
5 ways to nail your job interview

You only get one chance to make a first impression, so when it comes to that all-important job interview, it’s crucial you get it right.

It’s not about luck – it’s about attention to detail, doing your homework and lots of practice with plenty of time to spare. As the old saying goes, fail to prepare and prepare to fail.

At Forward Role, we’ve placed thousands of people in jobs across the UK and we’re always on hand to offer our candidates interview advice on the best ways to impress an employer. So, whether you’re looking to get your foot on the career ladder for the first time, hoping for a promotion, or planning to start a fresh challenge somewhere new, here are five of our top tips to help you grab the opportunity with both hands.

Do your research

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It seems simple, but far too many people don’t do enough homework before walking into the interview room. Those that take the time to really get to know the company they want to work for, as well as the people working for it, always stand head and shoulders above the rest in the eyes of a recruiter.

Before your interview, make sure you have a look at the company’s website and try to get a feel for the things they’re involved in. What are their key services, who are they trying to appeal to, and how do they try to portray themselves?

The company’s online newsroom is a great place to look for clues. There could be new products, investments or community activity that give you a much better grasp of the what they’re all about, so take the time to familiarise yourself with as much of that as possible. The overwhelming majority of brands are on some form of social media too, so have a scroll through their latest feeds to see what they’ve been talking about recently.

Body language

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Your body language is an enormous part of that first impression. A study in America by UCLA found that 93 percent of how people form first impressions has nothing to do with words. It was more about facial expressions, appearance, the level of interest they showed and their vocal tone.

I always tell people to focus on three key things which are smiling, a good amount of eye contact and a firm handshake. Switch on as soon as you leave the house and make sure you’re positive in every conversation you have – that includes the receptionists or other people you might meet in the waiting room. People talk – especially in an office environment – and sometimes what you do outside of the interview room is just as important as what you do in it.

Practice, practice, practice

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It might feel awkward, but actually practicing the interview, perhaps with a friend or family member, is a great way to refine your answers. Really think through the kind of questions you’re likely to get asked and have a suite of answers ready to go. Wherever you can, draw upon experiences that relate to the question, so you can demonstrate your capability to do the job. If you’ve only got a limited amount of experience, try to think about things that you’ve done outside of a work environment that might resonate.

More and more we’re seeing employers ask competency-based questions, especially for entry-level or graduate positions. These are where the interviewers really want to know whether you have the right skills to take the position on. The questions will often require you to give an example of something, and the things the business will be looking for can usually be found within the company values on their website; such as teamwork, problem-solving, responsibility or communication skills. Try to think of a good response on these types of areas before you go in and practice the art of telling them in a way that has impact.

Be yourself

This is probably my biggest tip and it might go against what some other recruitment companies say but being true to who you are is always the best approach in my opinion. Your personality and your interests should shine through during an interview and you should never pretend to be someone you’re not. Of course, you want to put the best version of yourself forward. But don’t fake interests or experience because the chances are, the person on the other side of the interview table will see right through it. You obviously need to look the part too – walking into an interview completely under-dressed or looking scruffy will make it really difficult to land the job, no matter how good your personality is.

I’m a big believer in self-selection. Sometimes, no matter what you may think the job just isn’t right for you and if you don’t get it, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. Learn from the experience and take that into your next interview. The job of your dreams could be just around the corner.

Ask questions

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The vast majority of interviewers like candidates to ask questions. It shows that you’ve really put some thought into the interview and the company and are keen to know more.

You can cover simple things like “when are you hoping to make a decision” but do try to think a little deeper. Put the interviewer on the spot and ask them what their favourite things are about working for that company. Or if they’re a founder or director, why not ask what motivated them to start-up the business in the first place. You’ll be amazed how well received those types of questions can be.

If you’re feeling particularly confident, you could even go one step further and ask the interviewer at the end if they think there’s any reason you wouldn’t be a good fit for the role. It gives you an opportunity to tackle any final doubts they may have in their head before you leave the room.

Tread carefully with this one though and only use it if it feels appropriate. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance and you never want to overstep the mark!

Forward Role is a leading Marketing, Analytics, Digital, Creative and Tech recruitment consultancy based out of Manchester and London. Visit www.forwardrolerecruitment.co.uk for more information.

9th July 2018