I used to hear the generations who were older than me talking about the way young women dress. They used to say “Is it any surprise if they get attacked or raped? Going out like that; they are asking for it!”

Now as an older gay man who has spent many years as a publican, I look around and have similar thoughts. Not for women but for young gay men.

Their conduct, which so often overtly displays their sexuality like a badge of office or some cheap jewellery screams “victim here.”

So many gay venues are now gay-friendly. Once these places were a haven of safety where we could behave with each other in a manner that was consistent with the law without the fear of some bloke beating the crap out of us when we left. Not anymore; now they’re sometimes a testosterone and alcohol-fueled environment where men are trying to impress women. Gay men can be such easy prey.

It is our own fault (well, us and technology). The price of getting your rocks off and finding cock is so cheap now. Every gay man is Grindrered up or has some other app. The bars and clubs that were once our seedy sanctuary are now shared. No longer is it safe to cast a gaze around a room from the dance floor whilst snorting Poppers and sipping Babysham. Chances are some hairy arsed ‘erbert is going to ask “You looking at me?”

The young are so idealistic and think gay rights are a shield of steel that will protect them. Of course, they are not. Gay rights means if you gain consciousness, report the offence to the police and go through the process then some thug may have to answer.

It’s hard to stand up to someone who battered you unrecognisable last night, someone who has friends, especially when there is a limit to the number of places you go. We don’t all have the choice afforded by big cities.

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About the author: Tom Driver

Disillusioned and back in the closet man who likes other men.

Strongly opinionated, possibly outdated. Genuine, cynical, candid and consider I have a humourous outlook.

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Older than acceptable in Gay circles, larger of frame than is fashionably desirable.

Looking for a platform to share my views and listen to others