A reader asks our agony uncle whether he’s normal for wanting to dress up in women’s clothing when he has sex.

Dear Uncle

I’m a man who likes the idea of dressing up in women’s clothes during sex. I’m not trans and I’m happy with my body, but the idea of wearing feminine clothes whilst having sex with another guy a turn on. Do you have any advice on cross-dressing for fun? Is it normal?

Mike, 28

Dear Mike,

The question isn’t really whether it’s normal – if it’s what you want to do and you’re with someone else who’s digging it then who gives a flying monkey if it’s “normal”?

There are plenty of guys out there who want to crossdress and there’s also plenty of guys out there who are into that as well – you’re not alone.

Get an online profile

First off set up a profile on your hook up app/website of choice setting out your preferences and the parameters of what you’re looking for. Are you just looking for NSA sex or are you wanting a relationship?

Are you looking for guys to only see you in your feminine attire or do you want people to know you as a whole?

Maybe add a photo and some details about what you’re looking for and offering.

I would say that it’s best to let people know what you’re into first rather than spring it on them after a number of dates.

Just like any pre-meet chat, it’s pretty typical and good to be kept informed on what they want and expect and, of course, visa versa. Dropping into the conversation that you want to try cross-dressing will mean that others can decide whether they’re into it as well, that way they’ll be no crossed wires.

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Be sure to check out our Hook Up and Dating App safety article.

Another suggestion is the dating site https://tvchix.com/ , which welcomes, “all TV’s, CD’s, TG’s, admirers, their partners and friends”

Real-world experience

You could also check your local gay sauna to see if they have any cross-dressing or trans / CD nights where you can dress up however you want. Some venues offer this service so it’s worth checking them out.

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And then, of course, you could also seek the services of a professional. Sir Dave, one of the UK’s foremost Fetish specialists told us, “Over the years I have had many clients with an interest in cross-dressing visit me. Many have never dressed in front of anyone before and it is so important to me that they feel comfortable and respected and given a safe space in which to explore their interests and fetishes. Cross-dressing is done for so many different reasons, some times just to explore the feeling.

“Whatever their reason for it, I provide a safe, discreet space for them to enjoy and build their confidence.”

Have you got a dilemma you want to share? Click here and let us know what’s going on with you.

About the author: Agony Uncle
The resident Agony Uncle for THEGAYUK.com with over seven years of counselling experience with the LGBT+ community.