THEGAYUK

Tag: Sex Advice

The last word in sex advice for the gay community. If you’ve got a sexual or emotional problem our team of experts are on hand to help you out.

  • Can the Python Sex Position be adapted for gay men?

    Can the Python Sex Position be adapted for gay men?

    As with most sex positions in the Karma Sutra, the python can be adapted for a gay male couple. For straight couples the python is described as such:

    How a straight couple would do the python sex position

    The male partner lies flat on his back; while the woman straddles him and lower herself onto his penis. Then slowly the woman stretches out so she’s lying straight on top of him, aligned arm to arm, leg to leg. She then holds his hands, extends her arms out to her sides and lifts her torso like a snake ready to strike.

    He keeps his feet flexed so you can push against them with your toes for leverage.

    This position won’t work particularly well for two men, but with a slight adjustment it will work – all you have to do is simply reverse the person on top as explained below.

    Here’s how to adapt the Python Sex Position for two men

    Have your partner recline flat on his back, legs together, and arms resting by his sides.

    The bottom should astride the top, on his knees, facing away as though he’s about to do the reverse cowboy, and lower himself onto the top’s penis or strap-on dildo. 

    Once the bottom has fully accommodated the top, he should gently lay back, maybe using his arms to take some of his weight. Eventually, you should be able to lie flat on top of the top. You should try and get your limbs aligned. Ultimately the easiest way to think of this position is hugging your bottom from behind, but lying down. 

    A word to the wise, if you’re not both weight matched and your bottom is heavier than your top, you may need to use your arms to support his weight. 

    Basically at this point both bodies should be alligned together looking sort of like a snake(!) but of course not really. 

    This position is great for tight spaces and for an unexperienced bottom to control the top’s movement and thrusting power.

    Want more gay sex positions? Check out our very own gay Karma Sutra

  • How to give a perfect Blow Job, 8 tips on giving good head

    How to give a perfect Blow Job, 8 tips on giving good head

    If you’re looking to give the perfect blow job or become a master in good oral sex, then read on.

    *This article contains images that might not be suitable for work*

    Going down, blow job, giving head, oral sex, whatever you call it, it’s one of the pure joys of being gay/bi or just cock loving, let’s face it. Aside from bum fun, it’s one of the most gay-defining sex acts – putting another man’s penis in your mouth – it doesn’t get gayer than that!

    But what constitutes a good blow job?

    It’s not quite the advice that can be passed down from your father (but maybe from your Daddy) but most of us learn about blow jobs via porn and well, trial and error.

    The problem with trial and error is that it often requires us to be confident to tell our partner what we’re feeling – and that can be harder than you might think, for fear of offending.

    So when guys were recently asked on THEGAYUK community, what advice they’d give, guys did not hold back with their amazing little tidbits on giving love to the purple-headed love monster.

    inspiration from Cocky Boys

    Practice makes perfect

    Practice on a banana. Use lots of saliva and use your lips. Enjoy it like you were sucking on a tall ice cream that’s melting quickly. VIA

    Use tongue, not teeth

    Move your head up and down even side to side if you please. This might seems like common sense but you’d be surprised. Don’t suck too hard.. one guy gave me head took the word “suck” way too literally. He literally sucked it like a breath mint that was suppose to melt away. It was awkward to be stuck in that position the entire time. Don’t do that. VIA

    Put yourself in his shoes

    Inspiration from BEL AMI

    Imagine what feels good to you (if you’ve had head before at least) or when you’re jerking off… and do that to him… just go slow at first and get comfortable with it. You’ll soon learn what the other guy is liking and what he isn’t… Don’t forget to use your tongue. Lots! VIA

    The eyes

    lots of eye contact, if he’s into that. Most guys are. Whatever position you are in, see if you can look him in the eye has your have his cock head in your mouth. HOT AF. VIA

    Don’t be extra

    Don’t try and impress with your skills. Just do what comes naturally. VIA

    Don’t always go for the deep throat

    I’m not that huge a fan of deep throating. It’s not that comfortable for the receiver. especially if you can’t get the whole damn thing down your throat. It feels like it’s getting crushed and it kinda hurts. Plus I don’t know about anyone else, but the sound of a guy gagging makes me feel like I’m gonna gag. Really not sexy. VIA

    tips for giving a good blow job

    inspiration from Lucas Entertainment

    Enjoy every inch

    Take time every cm / inch of that cock. Maybe trying something new with each section. Thin tonguing for the pee hole, lips for the tip, teeth (lightly) on the shaft, flat tongue action on his balls, a lapping motion on his groin. VIA

    He’s the cure

    He’s the cure…

    Personally, it’s all about enthusiasm. You’ve got to act like you’ve been poisoned and the cure is in his cock. VIA

    How risky are Blow Jobs?

    Oral sex is a pretty low-risk activity when it comes to some STIs, such as HIV, but you can still catch a number of other infections from blow jobs. Speaking to us from the sexual health clinic, 56 Dean Street, Jake and Jenna told us, “Other nasties like Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be passed on by both receiver and giver, and might not even show symptoms, however, all these infections can be treated effectively if caught soon enough”.

    So you can reduce your risk of catching these by using condoms, flavoured condoms are the best for oral sex and won’t leave a nasty chemical taste in your mouth.

    With thanks to Cocky Boys, Lucas Entertainment and Bel Ami (ALL NSFW)

  • Here’s how spelling out your name during sex is a genius move

    Here’s how spelling out your name during sex is a genius move

    This little trick is a stroke of genius and will help you with your staying power, according to one sexpert.

    Premature Ejaculation affects lots of guys. Almost every guy has suffered at least one moment of “oh dammit” before spirting their load way before they actually wanted to.

    However, there is a quick fix that requires no medicine, no trips to a doctor or psych evaluation. Nope, it’s something you can do, by yourself and nobody even has to know you’re doing it.

    Sexpert and sex worker, Jack Devon, told us, “Despite what we see in porn, sex can be over pretty quickly and that’s completely normal… in fact, a study for the NHS, involving 500 couples showed that sex usually lasts around 5 and a half minutes, which is a long way off that 20-minute scene you’re enjoying on PornHub, but it can be incredibly annoying and frustrating, particularly for the guy that climaxes first, if they didn’t mean to…”

    Spell out your name (or theirs)

    So there’s a quick exercise to do before reaching out for medical intervention. Try spelling out your name.

    Jack told us, “When you’re concentrating on something else, like spelling out your name even for a minute it can take you out of the moment and allow you to reset things, without stopping the action altogether. If you’ve only got a short name, try spelling out your entire name and then spell it backwards. Do this a few times until you feel your urge to climax subside.

    According to Pharmacist Phil Day even taking some deep breaths can help as it “briefly shuts down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs)”

    Cheap (actually it’s free)

    yellow green and pink plastic toy
    Photo by Alina Blumberg on Pexels.com

    The best thing about this move is that it’s completely free to try, so you’ve nothing to lose by trying it out.

    Jack added, “Do it in your mind. Don’t actually speak it out loud, that’s not a great look, particularly if the guy is dirty talking to you and start spelling your name out loud.”

  • Bops for Bottoms – 5 songs to get things moving in the bedroom

    Bops for Bottoms – 5 songs to get things moving in the bedroom

    I love a good playlist; I’ve got one for every occasion. Whether I want to get hot and sweaty in the gym or need something to get me through the commute to the office. My favourite, and most exciting, is the one I’ve got going on for the bedroom. Either your gonna be turned off right now, or incredibly turned on.

    Does your bone-ing session really need to be soundtracked? No, but it can help. There have been various studies that prove that sex and music really do go well together, and surprisingly it has a lot to do with science. Neurophysiologist Dr Rhonda Freeman says that “music is likely to affect three regions of the brain – the reward or pleasure system, the social affliction or bonding system, and the limbic system (which processes emotions)”.

    So now we understand and are on the same page; here are my five essential picks to include in your next bedroom gymnastics session.

    Britney Spears – “Breathe on Me”

    This ‘In the Zone‘ deep cut is the perfect place to start. By 2003, Britney was becoming a full-on sexual seductress; and “Breathe on Me” is the perfect place to start. Turn the lights down low, let the pulsating beat take over and let your imagination run wild. This is the ideal song to get things hot and sweaty, foreplay is the place to start and with this little piece of pop-heaven, you’re guaranteed to get your man ready to bone within seconds. Listen to the lyrics and Britney will tell you exactly what to do; it’s as easy as riding a bike; “Monogamy is the way to go / Just put your lips together and blow”.

    Kylie Minogue – “Slow”

    “Read my body language” indeed. This synth-led sex bop is another great song to get you and your partner in the mood. This song gives you a little bit of time to breathe before the boning really gets going. Continue on with the foreplay and let the music guide you and your partner into the bedroom, slowly undressing as you make yourselves comfortable. Maybe use this to give your partner a sexy dance to help him get in the mood? Allow each other to explore your bodies. For the ultimate experience, I would opt for the Extended Mix which is bound to get you all hot under the collar.

    Beyonce – “Crazy in Love”

    We’re talking about the “Fifty Shades of Grey” version here. Although, if your in the mood to power bottom you could try the original version. This sultry reinterpretation of the dancefloor classic is going to get things moving a bit quicker, it’s the ideal song to experiment and get down and dirty too, whilst still giving a sensual edge. This is on my playlist a couple of times, because it just gets me going everytime.

    Ariana Grande – “Side to Side”

    Now we’re into balls to the wall, bone-ing territory. There are many Ariana Grande songs that you could use, but I always find “Side to Side” to be the one. Use the beat to get yourselves going and relax into it. it’s always best when both parties are relaxed, and things can progress naturally, the increase in tempo during the Minaj-Rap is perfect to intensify things, and any good bottom will be able to use moan those adlibs.

    Josef Salvat – “in the afternoon”

    This isn’t an obvious choice for many, but Salvat’s dulcet tones do many things to me. It’s the perfect post bonk comedown track. When your both depleted, it’s relaxing track which you can snuggle together and mellow in. “in the afternoon” is a bop and a half, that can spur on round two if you’re feeling that way inclined.

    Obviously, these are just a selection of songs that you can use on your playlist, and there are many others. If you’re going to do this, then don’t just use a Spotify playlist that’s already been done, take some time to create your own and find stuff that you are into or your partner is into. It doesn’t have to be a marathon 10-hour playlist, 10/15 tracks that get you going is just fine, and don’t be afraid to experiment.

    Remember, the best sex is where both parties are enjoying themselves, some people don’t enjoy sex to music, but it’s a conversation worth having and maybe you could create it together.

    Happy bone-ing!

  • How To Massage Your Prostate

    The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located at the top of the bladder in front of the rectum. It is responsible for producing a fluid that is present in semen, it helps to keep sexual function healthy and since it is located just around the urethra, it helps to control healthy bladder function, too.

    Despite all of its crucial functions, many men are largely unaware of what the prostate does and as a result, they don’t do enough to keep it healthy, via techniques such as prostate massage.

    Three key benefits of prostate massage

    1.  It increases blood flow to the prostate gland to keep cells healthy and help the prostate function normally.
    2.  It can release toxins from the prostate which otherwise tend to build up and lead to enlargement, pain and discomfort.
    3. When performed regularly, it allows men to check for changes in the size of the prostate, which could be a sign of prostatitis (infection of the prostate) or cancer.

    How to perform a prostate massage

    Prostate massage can be a little daunting and feel very unusual, to begin with, but it needn’t be uncomfortable providing that it is done slowly. To begin with, it is important to clear the bowels, since prostate massage can stimulate the bowels and give the urge to go to the bathroom. After this, it is beneficial to take a warm bath or shower to ensure the anal area is very clean and help to relax the muscles in preparation for massage.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    What finger should you use to massage someone’s prostate?

    Prostate massage can be done with the middle finger provided that it is long enough, but many men prefer to use a purpose-built prostate massager instead. Ensure the massager or the hands are clean; it may be beneficial to use a condom or latex gloves to protect against infection. Apply plenty of lubricant to the finger or massager, and slowly place the finger over the anus.

    Very slowly and without using too much force, gently rub the finger over the anus, moving back and forth until it enters the body. Continue this motion as the finger moves deeper into the rectum. The prostate is located three to four inches inside the rectum towards the penis; the finger or massager should therefore point slightly upwards.

    Gently rub the finger over the prostate whilst contracting and releasing your sphincter muscles. Continue this for as long as feels comfortable; 20 to 30 minutes is a good length of time for a prostate massage but it may be a case of building up to this over a number of weeks.

    Prostate massage can be performed once a week to keep the prostate in good condition. With a little practice, it becomes less daunting and a more enjoyable experience.

    This article was first published in May 2015 and has been updated with links.

  • Do I need to use lube for anal sex?

    Do I need to use lube for anal sex?

    When it comes to anal sex, lube is always best and usually, just like bottles of booze at a party – the more the merrier. You really shouldn’t try the Brokeback Mountain spit and shove. You’re likely to hurt yourself and cause damage to your anus or rectum.

    You really can’t go wrong with using lubes and there are so many types, brands and bases to try. Some are best if you’re going bareback (that’s sex without a condom) whilst other work best if you’re rubbering up. Some are even recommended for fisting… but maybe that’s a different article altogether.

    So what’s the best lube for the job?

    Lubes for sex with a condom?

    If you’re going for a standard, rubbered up sesh, then a silicone or water-based lube is the best. We recommend lubes like the Liquid Silk or the specially designed anal lube from Lubido. These work best with condom usage. You can also use them in bareback sex as well. Water-based lubes are the easiest to wash and wipe off and don’t stain the bedsheets.

    A note to the wise, when using condoms, you may want to use a little more lube than you think you should. It can feel a little drier than without a condom and you should never use oil-based lubes for condom play – it could destroy the integrity of the johnny.

    Also never lube up your penis before putting on a condom. The condom is really likely to slip off if you do this. Only lube up the outside of the condom.

    Silicon-based lubes tend to last longer than water-based, but not as long as petroleum-based lubes. They are also a little stickier than water-based ones.

    What’s the best lube for bareback sex?

    For bareback sex you can use water, silicone, oil or petroleum-based lubes. Oil or petroleum-based lubes are more likely to stain your sheets with oil marks, however.

    We absolutely recommend ID Millennium for bareback sex. It last longer and a little goes a long way.

    More buttery or oily lubes are better for other types of ass play – like fisting. Brands such as Crisco are famous in the gay community for their lubricating abilities.

    So how do you apply lube?

    A lube launcher can really help you get lube exactly where you need it.

    Well, there’s two schools of thought.

    As a bottom or the receptive partner you can take control of the lube situation, by maybe putting some lube on your own butthole before you begin, perhaps as you’re getting ready. Use your fingers to get some lube right up inside you. Or you can use a lube launcher, which puts the lube right where you need it!

    During the action, you can cover your partner’s dick (condomed or without) with lube as you blow him or jerk him off.

    Or if you’re the topper, you can maybe play with your partner’s ass during foreplay and use your fingers to fully lubricate the area. Either way, you’re going to want to make sure that you use enough – and don’t worry about stopping the action if you feel like you need more.

    Remember more is more in these situations and it’s best to try a variety of lubes to see which works best for you.

  • Is there a safer way to bone during the COVID-era?

    Is there a safer way to bone during the COVID-era?

    We all know about condoms, right? Well, what counts as safer sex in the COVID pandemic?

    With hundreds of new confirmed cases of COVID-19 still being diagnosed in the UK, it’s not advised to have sex with anyone, but, you know it’s still going to happen, so how can you reduce your risk of infection, if you decide to hook up with someone?

    Well, it’s pretty simple in reality. Wearing a face mask and not kissing, are just two things you can do, which will eliminate some of the risks, and just sex is thought to be safer than kissing. But, please don’t mistake, you are still at risk.

    Two ways of reducing your COVID-19 risk

    Matthew Hodson, the Executive Director of AIDSMAP, recently tweeted this advice, “Ways to reduce risk of getting #COVID19 during sex include: Wear a mask. Have sex by yourself.

    Meanwhile, in the US, Doctor Demetre Daskalakis said that having sex in a mask was a “great strategy” in reducing the risk of passing on the Coronavirus. He also suggested that you could also try creating physical barriers which prevent face to face interaction but still allows sexual contact.

    So, gloryholes it is people!

    Speaking on 60 Minutes Doctor Demetre said, “the most efficient mechanism for transmitting COVID-19 is through droplets. So, if you’re going to pant and have heavy breathing, throw on a mask. It’s called ‘source control’.

    “We’re still not going to give you a big green light for kissing. I wish I could. That’s probably a higher risk of exposure than sex.”

    Is COVID-19 sexual transmitted?

    There is some data that shows that coronavirus is present in semen, and earlier on in the pandemic, it was thought that it could also be transmitted through rimming. However, more research needs to take place.

    It’s not been found in vaginal secretions or fluids.

    Main picture by NEXTDOORSTUDIOS – get your subscription here

  • 9 foods you shouldn’t eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight

    9 foods you shouldn’t eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight

    A lot of people think that if you’re planning to bottom for a guy that you’ll only be able to eat ice cubes on your date, but that really isn’t true. It actually takes hours or even days for the food you eat to turn to poop and for it to be ready to leave your body.

    So, rather than worry about the food you’re eating that night, it might be worth looking at the foods to avoid in the morning or even the night before a big session.

    Of course, if you’re very concerned about debris in your system or you’re a complete, white-glove bottom then douching is pretty much your best option for making sure no accidents happen during anal sex.

    Here are a few of the biggest bottom no-nos!

    1. Hummus.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Sorry guys but unless you wanna be farting all night it’s best to stay clear from the Chickpea favourite. Nothing kills the moment than a back end blow out!

    2. Chickpeas.

    CREDT: Pixabay
    CREDT: Pixabay

    In fact stay clear from these all together. Chickpeas – the main ingredient in Hummus is the culprit.

    3. Beans.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    You know the rhyme – Beans beans good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart…

    4. Fizzy drinks.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Carbonated drinks will blow up your intestine like a balloon . So if you’re out drinking it’s best to stay clear from fizzy sodas for your mixers as well as beers and ales. Perhaps stick with the wine or fruit juices for your mixers. So if you don’t want a carbonated cheeky squeak – lay of the colas.

    5. Green veg.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Cruciferous vegs like Cauliflower, Brussels, and Kale are known to cause the digestion system to become gassy as it can take longer for your body to digest.

    6. Oats not so good.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Although oats are generally good for your digestion they are know to cause flatulence.

    7. Meats.

    moreharmony / Pixabay

    So here’s the thing meats, particular red meat sit in the stomach and intestines for ages. They take a really long time to digest – this can lead to bloating and well gas…

    8. Meds.

    Some medications can cause diarrhea. Make sure that your the pills you’re taking don’t cause the runs. Speak to your GP if you’re on prescribed meds that might cause you probs downstairs. Don’t stop taking any medications that you’ve been prescribed without talking to medical professional first.

    9. Coffee.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Forget that after dinner coffee. Too much of the stuff could send you running to the loo with the runs.

    Despite what you might think, the food that you eat directly before a hot session in the bedroom, probably won’t affect your ability to bottom. However a large meal will probably make you sleepy, just think about sleepy you feel after Christmas dinner!

    So if you’re planning an all-nighter it’s best to lay off any food that will make you tired.

    Main picture by BELAMI – get your subscription here

  • How to have a successful gay orgy

    How to have a successful gay orgy

    When it comes to party planning, preparation is key… whether that party is a candlelit soiree or a full on f**kfest!

    Location Location Location

    Location is everything, so choose your orgy venue wisely. Usually, it will be at someone’s house or apartment, so make sure that your walls are thick enough not to annoy the neighbours with the groans of your guests (although you could use a gag… if that’s your thing).

    You don’t want to be halfway through your activities when your neighbours start hollering for you to STFU.

    Pick a playlist

    Music is key to setting the right atmos. Something with a good beat, around 120 bpm will keep the pace and the heart rate up. You kind of want it bland enough that it mixes into the background and doesn’t distract from what’s going on. I.e. don’t put Britney’s “Toxic” or Kylie’s “Your Disco Needs You” into the playlist, unless you suddenly want people to start doing routines.

    Also, make the playlist a few hours long. You don’t want the music stopping halfway through. That silence will really screw up the mood.

    Good mix of tops and bottoms

    You want to make sure there’s a good mix of tops, bottoms and vers guys. You don’t want there to be too many tops – the bottoms will get tired of the pounding if there are 10 guys waiting in line.

    It may well be many a bottom’s fantasy to have guys lining around the corner ready to take their turn, but fantasy and reality are two very different mistresses.

    Too many bottoms and you’ll have bored top lads waiting for the fun to come to them. A good mix could be one strict top and a vers guy to every strict bottom. That should keep things flowing nicely.

    If you’re planning to bottom at an orgy, you might want to consider how you’re gonna clean out properly. Check out our advice on douching.

    Let everyone know what everyone else is into

    It’s good to have a group huddle before things get started in order to lay down some ground rules, to let everyone know what people are up for – whose bottoming, topping and who’s up for anything.

    You could use a sharpie or felt tip to let guys know which position they are taking. For instance, you could use a ↑ mark for tops and ⚬ mark for bottoms and ⇿ for vers guys.

    It might also be a good time to sort out a safe word – that everyone knows and can adhere to.

    Create a group chat the day before

    If you know everyone’s number you could add them all to a WhatsApp group or on Grindr there’s the ability to create a private group chat. Get everyone joined up and let the conversations flow. Guys can share what they’re looking for and share pictures. A great way to get the horniess levels rising.

    Leave history at the door

    It best to try and find guys who have no history with each other or malice towards each other. Getting two exes in the same room is going to really kill the mood, especially if there are unresolved issues.

    So try and find guys who don’t know each other.

    Tests

    Test and test again. Before you have some group play everyone ideally should get their sexual health in order. That way you can all relax a little more without the worry of passing on infections to each other. You can currently get a free HIV test from the charity, Saving Lives if you use the promo code GAYUK20 Just click here to order your HIV Self Test Kit today.

    Be PrePared

    edf

    Condoms are sometimes the default, but more and more guys are getting into PrEP because they are interested in bareback or breeding. If you’re not on PrEP yet, ask your sexual health practitioner for more details about whether its right for you.

    Lube and then so more lube

    Can’t be stressed how important lube is, especially if you’re going to be taking the D from a number of guys or if the orgy lasts for hours. Silicone-based lube tends to last longer, but if you’re wanting something ultra long-lasting you might wanna try out a fisting lube or evening a numbing lube.

    Lead picture by NoirMale. Get your subscription to NoirMale here.

  • DILEMMA | I want to dress up as a woman when I have sex. Am I normal?

    DILEMMA | I want to dress up as a woman when I have sex. Am I normal?

    A reader asks our agony uncle whether he’s normal for wanting to dress up in women’s clothing when he has sex.

    Dear Uncle

    I’m a man who likes the idea of dressing up in women’s clothes during sex. I’m not trans and I’m happy with my body, but the idea of wearing feminine clothes whilst having sex with another guy a turn on. Do you have any advice on cross-dressing for fun? Is it normal?

    Mike, 28

    Dear Mike,

    The question isn’t really whether it’s normal – if it’s what you want to do and you’re with someone else who’s digging it then who gives a flying monkey if it’s “normal”?

    There are plenty of guys out there who want to crossdress and there’s also plenty of guys out there who are into that as well – you’re not alone.

    Get an online profile

    First off set up a profile on your hook up app/website of choice setting out your preferences and the parameters of what you’re looking for. Are you just looking for NSA sex or are you wanting a relationship?

    Are you looking for guys to only see you in your feminine attire or do you want people to know you as a whole?

    Maybe add a photo and some details about what you’re looking for and offering.

    I would say that it’s best to let people know what you’re into first rather than spring it on them after a number of dates.

    Just like any pre-meet chat, it’s pretty typical and good to be kept informed on what they want and expect and, of course, visa versa. Dropping into the conversation that you want to try cross-dressing will mean that others can decide whether they’re into it as well, that way they’ll be no crossed wires.

    Be sure to check out our Hook Up and Dating App safety article.

    Another suggestion is the dating site https://tvchix.com/ , which welcomes, “all TV’s, CD’s, TG’s, admirers, their partners and friends”

    Real-world experience

    You could also check your local gay sauna to see if they have any cross-dressing or trans / CD nights where you can dress up however you want. Some venues offer this service so it’s worth checking them out.

    And then, of course, you could also seek the services of a professional. Sir Dave, one of the UK’s foremost Fetish specialists told us, “Over the years I have had many clients with an interest in cross-dressing visit me. Many have never dressed in front of anyone before and it is so important to me that they feel comfortable and respected and given a safe space in which to explore their interests and fetishes. Cross-dressing is done for so many different reasons, some times just to explore the feeling.

    “Whatever their reason for it, I provide a safe, discreet space for them to enjoy and build their confidence.”

    Have you got a dilemma you want to share? Click here and let us know what’s going on with you.

  • 12 ways to spice up your sex life this Christmas

    12 ways to spice up your sex life this Christmas

    With the winter nights drawing in and the cold wind blowing outside, we’ve got some tips to keep your Christmas sex hot, whether you’re in hook up mode or in a long-term relationship.

    Apparently, we Brits have more sex at Christmas time than at any other time of the year. Sex brand LELO conducted research which showed that all that time off (apparently people have time off during the holidays) 23 per cent of us are more encouraged to get jiggy between the sheets.

    So what can you do to really ramp up your sex life.

    Do something for you

    Pexels / Pixabay

    Whether it’s buying yourself some new sexy undies, like a jockstrap, losing a bit of weight, or taking up a yoga class – doing something for you can make you feel very sexy and ready to play.

    Games

    Why not get naughty with a game. There are a number of sexy board games available – whether it’s for just the two of you or more. It could be a really interesting way to get your party swinging. Also if the imagination is low or you find it hard to ask for what you want, then try the sex dice! You and your partner will end up doing every position – every which way the whole night! Every throw is a winner.

    A gift

    CREDIT: Pixababy

    Rachael McCoy is an award-winning sex and relationship coach suggests taking it in turns to surprise the other person with a gift or experience that they really enjoy. Although Christmas is a bit of gift-giving time, while not surprise your partner before the big day…. A great tip on how to do this is to listen when your partner says things they like. Make a note in your phone and when they are least expecting it, spring it on them. They’ll be so grateful that you remembered.

    Turn off

    rawpixel / Pixabay

    Have at least one night a month where you promise to turn all tech and outside distractions off and just spend time together. In this modern day we all have tablets, phones and other forms of gadgets that distract us away from quality time together.

    Be Thankful

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    In long term relationships it’s easy to forget to say the little things like ‘Thank you’ ‘I love this about you’ or ‘I’m so grateful for’. This mainly happens because we’ve said it so many times before and we just expect the other person to know. But it is imperative that you always remember to tell your husband/ wife these things regularly. It will make all the difference to your marriage and help ensure that it’s a long and happy one.

    De-Stress

    CREDIT: Wavebreak Media Ltd bigstock

    There’s a reason why De-Stress sounds like distress. You’ve got to take time to take some of the stress out of your life. There’s nothing like a bit of stress to become a complete boner killer.

    Erotic massage

    Body-n-Care / Pixabay

    Massage or even tantric massage is a great treat that never gets old. When you know your bf has been having a stressful time, greet them one day after work with some massage oil, a candle lit (warm) room and work your magic to massage their stress away. Check out our tip on how to make your man melt with your magic touch.

    Get the food just right

    CREDIT: mythja-bigstock

    Getting food right is so important. Don’t go out for a big meal and then expect to feel all sexy at the end of the night. Chances are you’ll feel bloated and very very sleepy.

    Also if you’re bottoming – having a full meal might lead to anxiety about having anal sex. So choose lighter meals – and stay clear from these foods.

    However, some of the best advice we’ve ever heard was from Dan Savage – who always suggest that you “fuck first” then go out and have a slap up meal.

    Get a red light bulb

    fetcaldu / Pixabay

    Rachael suggests swapping your normal bulb with a red bulb saying, “It completely changes the look and atmosphere in the room, instantly making it feel very seductive and naughty”.

    Going out with friends

    CREDIT: Rawpixel.com-bigstock

    While hanging out with may not seem romantic at the time but socialising and ‘representing’ as a couple with friends is a really fun thing to do. In other people’s presence we tend to be more playful. It will give you lots of things to talk about and it’s something you can both enjoy together.

    A quicky blowjob when he’s not expecting it

    CREDIT: kirza-bigstock

    A quick blow job is probably always a welcome distraction for your partner. Catch them when they are nice and clean but not expecting your sexy treat. Make the effort to spend a decent amount of time working their ‘goodies’ with your lips and tongue.

    Alone time

    CREDIT: GaudiLab/bigstock

    It may seem the opposite of romantic but actually it’s a very healthy thing to do in marriages (and relationships in general). As much as you love each other, living in each other’s pockets can become suffocating and predictable.

    Doing hobbies separately creates desire and interest into the other person, giving you both some great conversation too.