THEGAYUK

Author: Agony Uncle

  • Your gay horoscopes for March 2023

    Your gay horoscopes for March 2023

    Wondering what the stars hold for you? Check out your gay horoscopes for March 2023.

    Gay Horoscopes March 2023

    Aries

    As a gay Aries, you are known for your boldness, passion, and adventurous spirit. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you exciting new opportunities for personal and professional growth.

    This may involve taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone, but trust that you have the courage and determination to handle whatever challenges come your way.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly passionate and intense. You may be drawn to fiery and dynamic partners who share your love for adventure and excitement. However, it’s important to remember that communication and respect are key to any successful relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to put yourself out there and meet new people. Your confident and outgoing nature is sure to attract many admirers. But be sure to take the time to really get to know someone before diving into a serious commitment.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to keep the spark alive by trying new things and exploring new experiences together. This could mean planning a romantic getaway or taking up a new hobby as a couple.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential and possibility for you, dear Aries. Trust in yourself and your instincts, and don’t be afraid to take the lead and blaze your own trail. The universe is cheering you on!

    Taurus

    Dear Taurus,

    As a gay Taurus, you are known for your love of beauty, comfort, and stability. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for growth and success, both personally and professionally.

    You may find yourself drawn to creative endeavors or artistic pursuits, as the planets are highlighting your innate talents and aesthetic sensibilities. This could be a great time to explore new hobbies or take on a new project that allows you to express yourself in a meaningful way.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly sensual and affectionate. You value physical intimacy and may be drawn to partners who share your love of pleasure and comfort. However, it’s important to remember that communication and trust are key to any successful relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on self-care and self-love. Treat yourself to a spa day or indulge in your favorite hobbies and interests. This will not only boost your confidence and self-esteem, but also attract others who appreciate your unique qualities.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you appreciate them. This could mean planning a romantic date or surprising them with a thoughtful gift.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential and possibility for you, dear Taurus. Trust in your intuition and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is conspiring to bring you all the love, beauty, and abundance you deserve.

    Gemini

    Dear Gemini,

    As a gay Gemini, you are known for your quick wit, versatility, and love of communication. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for growth and exploration in all areas of your life.

    You may find yourself drawn to intellectual pursuits or engaging in stimulating conversations with others. This could be a great time to broaden your horizons and expand your knowledge through travel, education, or new experiences.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly flirtatious and social. You enjoy the thrill of the chase and may be drawn to partners who are witty and charming. However, it’s important to remember that honesty and trust are key to any successful relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to put yourself out there and meet new people. Your charm and charisma are sure to attract many admirers. But be sure to take the time to really get to know someone before jumping into a serious commitment.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize clear communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you value their thoughts and opinions. This could mean planning a romantic date or surprising them with a thoughtful gift.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential and possibility for you, dear Gemini. Trust in your natural curiosity and adaptability, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is cheering you on as you explore the world and all it has to offer.

    Cancer

    Dear Cancer,

    As a gay Cancer, you are known for your sensitivity, nurturing nature, and love of home and family. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for emotional growth and connection.

    You may find yourself drawn to nurturing others, whether it be through volunteer work, caregiving, or simply being there for your loved ones. This could be a great time to deepen your emotional connections and strengthen your bonds with those who matter most to you.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly emotional and intuitive. You value emotional intimacy and may be drawn to partners who share your deep emotional connection. However, it’s important to remember to take care of your own emotional needs as well.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on self-care and healing. Spend time doing things that bring you comfort and joy, whether it be cooking a favorite meal or curling up with a good book. This will not only boost your own emotional well-being, but also attract others who appreciate your nurturing nature.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you appreciate their emotional support. This could mean planning a cozy night in or surprising them with a heartfelt gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for emotional growth and connection for you, dear Cancer. Trust in your intuition and be open to vulnerability and emotional intimacy. The universe is guiding you towards deeper connections and greater emotional fulfillment.

    Leo

    Dear Leo,

    As a gay Leo, you are known for your confidence, charisma, and love of attention. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for creativity, self-expression, and personal growth.

    You may find yourself drawn to creative endeavors or performance arts, as the planets are highlighting your innate talents and love of self-expression. This could be a great time to explore new hobbies or take on a new project that allows you to showcase your unique gifts.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly passionate and expressive. You value romance and may be drawn to partners who share your love of grand gestures and public displays of affection. However, it’s important to remember to balance your need for attention with your partner’s needs and desires.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to put yourself out there and show off your best qualities. Your confidence and charisma are sure to attract many admirers. But be sure to take the time to really get to know someone before jumping into a serious commitment.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize clear communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you appreciate them. This could mean planning a romantic weekend getaway or surprising them with a thoughtful gift.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential and possibility for you, dear Leo. Trust in your natural creativity and self-expression, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is cheering you on as you shine your light and share your gifts with the world.

    Virgo

    Dear Virgo,

    As a gay Virgo, you are known for your analytical mind, attention to detail, and love of organization. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement.

    You may find yourself drawn to new learning opportunities or self-improvement techniques, as the planets are highlighting your love of personal development. This could be a great time to focus on your health, both physical and mental, as well as honing your skills and knowledge in a particular area.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly practical and detail-oriented. You value stability and may be drawn to partners who share your love of planning and organization. However, it’s important to remember to balance your practicality with your emotional needs and desires.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on personal growth and self-care. Take the time to really focus on your own needs and desires, and don’t be afraid to put yourself first. This will not only boost your own well-being, but also attract others who appreciate your self-awareness and confidence.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize clear communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you appreciate their support. This could mean planning a relaxing weekend getaway or surprising them with a thoughtful gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for personal growth and self-improvement for you, dear Virgo. Trust in your natural analytical skills and attention to detail, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is guiding you towards greater self-awareness and emotional fulfilment.

    Libra

    Dear Libra,

    As a gay Libra, you are known for your charm, diplomacy, and love of beauty. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for balance, harmony, and connection.

    You may find yourself drawn to new social opportunities or creative endeavors, as the planets are highlighting your love of beauty and connection. This could be a great time to surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you, as well as explore new artistic pursuits or hobbies.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly romantic and idealistic. You value partnership and may be drawn to partners who share your love of balance and harmony. However, it’s important to remember to prioritize your own needs and desires in any relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on cultivating new connections and building relationships with those who share your values and interests. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and make new friends. This will not only boost your social life, but also attract potential romantic partners who appreciate your charm and warmth.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you appreciate their support. This could mean planning a romantic date night or surprising them with a thoughtful gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for balance, harmony, and connection for you, dear Libra. Trust in your natural charm and diplomacy, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is guiding you towards greater emotional fulfillment and personal growth.

    Scorpio

    Dear Scorpio,

    As a gay Scorpio, you are known for your intense passion, deep emotions, and magnetic energy. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for transformation, growth, and connection.

    You may find yourself drawn to exploring your deeper emotions and desires, as the planets are highlighting your natural intensity and passion. This could be a great time to delve into your inner world and work through any emotional blocks or challenges you may be facing.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly passionate and magnetic. You value deep connections and may be drawn to partners who share your intensity and emotional depth. However, it’s important to remember to prioritize clear communication and boundaries in any relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on self-discovery and healing. Take the time to explore your own desires and needs, and don’t be afraid to seek support from friends or a therapist if needed. This will not only boost your own emotional well-being, but also attract potential partners who appreciate your depth and authenticity.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual trust. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you value their support. This could mean planning a romantic getaway or surprising them with a thoughtful gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for transformation, growth, and connection for you, dear Scorpio. Trust in your natural intensity and passion, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is guiding you towards greater emotional fulfillment and personal power.

    Sagittarius

    Dear Sagittarius,

    As a gay Sagittarius, you are known for your love of adventure, spontaneity, and optimism. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for growth, expansion, and freedom.

    You may find yourself drawn to exploring new horizons or pursuing your passions, as the planets are highlighting your natural sense of adventure and curiosity. This could be a great time to travel, take up a new hobby, or embark on a new career path.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly optimistic and free-spirited. You value independence and may be drawn to partners who share your love of exploration and adventure. However, it’s important to remember to prioritize clear communication and mutual respect in any relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on self-discovery and pursuing your passions. Take the time to explore your own interests and desires, and don’t be afraid to try new things. This will not only boost your own sense of fulfillment, but also attract potential partners who appreciate your sense of adventure and spontaneity.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you value their support. This could mean planning a spontaneous adventure together or surprising them with a thoughtful gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for growth, expansion, and freedom for you, dear Sagittarius. Trust in your natural sense of adventure and curiosity, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is guiding you towards greater personal and emotional fulfillment.

    Capricorn

    As a gay Capricorn, you are known for your ambitious and disciplined nature. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to help you achieve your career goals and aspirations. This may involve taking risks and making bold moves, but trust that your hard work and determination will pay off in the end.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling a bit guarded and cautious. This is understandable, as you value stability and security in your relationships. However, don’t be afraid to open yourself up to new experiences and possibilities. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to put yourself out there and meet new people. Joining a club or group related to your interests could lead to a meaningful connection. If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open and be willing to compromise.

    Overall, this is a time of growth and transformation for you, dear Capricorn. Trust in your abilities and keep pushing forward towards your dreams. The universe has big things in store for you.

    Aquarius

    Dear Aquarius,

    As a gay Aquarius, you are known for your independent spirit, innovative ideas, and love of intellectual pursuits. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for creativity, connection, and personal growth.

    You may find yourself drawn to exploring new ideas or pursuing your passions, as the planets are highlighting your natural creativity and originality. This could be a great time to dive into a new project or collaborate with others on a shared vision.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly open-minded and curious. You value intellectual stimulation and may be drawn to partners who share your love of innovation and creativity. However, it’s important to remember to prioritize clear communication and mutual respect in any relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on self-discovery and exploring new ideas. Take the time to explore your own passions and interests, and don’t be afraid to connect with others who share your intellectual curiosity. This will not only boost your own personal growth, but also attract potential partners who appreciate your unique perspective and originality.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual understanding. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you value their support. This could mean planning a creative project together or surprising them with a thoughtful gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for creativity, connection, and personal growth for you, dear Aquarius. Trust in your natural independence and innovative spirit, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is guiding you towards greater emotional fulfillment and intellectual stimulation.

    Pisces

    Dear Pisces,

    As a gay Pisces, you are known for your compassionate nature, emotional depth, and intuitive gifts. In the month ahead, the stars are aligning to bring you new opportunities for healing, growth, and spiritual connection.

    You may find yourself drawn to exploring your inner world or engaging in spiritual practices, as the planets are highlighting your natural sensitivity and intuition. This could be a great time to work through any emotional blocks or challenges you may be facing and connect with your inner wisdom.

    In your romantic life, the planets suggest that you may be feeling particularly empathetic and intuitive. You value deep emotional connections and may be drawn to partners who share your sensitivity and compassion. However, it’s important to remember to prioritize clear communication and healthy boundaries in any relationship.

    If you’re single, this could be a great time to focus on self-care and healing. Take the time to explore your own emotions and needs, and don’t be afraid to seek support from friends or a therapist if needed. This will not only boost your own emotional well-being, but also attract potential partners who appreciate your compassionate nature and intuitive gifts.

    If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Take the time to really listen to your partner and show them how much you value their support. This could mean planning a romantic evening or surprise them with a thoughtful gesture.

    Overall, this is a time of great potential for healing, growth, and spiritual connection for you, dear Pisces. Trust in your natural sensitivity and intuition, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. The universe is guiding you towards greater emotional fulfillment and spiritual alignment.

  • DILEMMA | It’s been a year and I still can’t get over my ex

    DILEMMA | It’s been a year and I still can’t get over my ex

    Dear Uncle,

    It’s been a year since me and my first boyfriend broke up and I’m still can’t get over him. We were together for 2 years and unfortunately, it really didn’t end too well. One day he just said it wasn’t working and that he wanted to move on. Up until that point, I thought that we and our relationship was doing well. I did notice in the last month that he seemed more distance and we weren’t having as much sex as we were in the beginning, but I just put that down to being together for 2 years.

    The break up came out of the blue and he moved out almost immediately. I was really shocked by it. I begged him and pleaded with him to come back and talk to me. He actually ended up blocking me after a month or so and I’ve been left here, feeling like complete shit.

    I feel broken by the experience and very alone. I feel like I’ve alienated myself from my friends and I’m sure they are done with my talking about him. They say I should move on. But I feel completely stuck.

    I have met with other guys, had a few dates, but nothing sticks because I keep thinking about him.

    Is it normal to not be over an ex after a year?

    Tomas

    Dear Tomas,

    I feel your pain. Breakups are never easy, whether you’re the breaker or the breakee and without a doubt, your ex did a horrible thing to you, by not explaining his actions. I really do feel that if you’re going to break up with someone, you have to be completely honest with them. I think it helps with closure.

    By not telling you, he’s still in control of you, because it’s led you, understandably down a path of fixation, wondering and abandonment and by blocking you, without engaging with your questions, he’s still controlling the narrative. Which you can, and will change.

    Let me say, it’s completely normal to not be over someone you’ve loved after any period of time and the time it takes for someone to get over an ex, will be different for everyone, you just have to trust that over time your pain will subside and there’s no schedule to follow.

    He has scarred you and scars stay with us for life, but will diminish slowly over time and fade, but if we’re wise we can use that scar to remind us that everything eventually heals and what you’re left with is fresh, new skin, which is stronger than what it replaced. Healing is truly remarkable, but you have to let it happen and stop picking at the scar, no matter how itchy or tempting it is to reveal the renewed skin underneath. You have to let the process happen and one day the scab will fall away.

    Dealing with heartbreak is just the same. Give yourself time, don’t beat yourself up and reach out to people and talk. If you think your friends have had enough ex chat then why not try an LGBT+ helpline like Switchboard.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like answered? Check out our dilemmas page and let us know what’s going on.

  • Here’s why you shouldn’t use those free packets of lube you get at a gay bar

    Here’s why you shouldn’t use those free packets of lube you get at a gay bar

    Before you read on, we want you to know that although this isn’t a paid-for advert, this article does reference products sold in our shop… which helps pay to keep THEGAYUK online.

    We shouldn’t be settling for those little sachets you get for free at your nearest gay bar.

    Let me make it clear, I’m not knocking the free lube. I love a freebie and those packets with the condoms have probably saved countless guys from contracting one infection or another. But… while those little sachets are good for emergencies or a last-minute shag, they shouldn’t be your main go-to when it comes to your lube options.

    First off they are all water-based, this is because it is the cheapest to create and all water-based lubes are condom safe. However away from water-based, there’s a treasure trove of options, from silicone to hybrid to oil-based and they all feel and act differently different from each other and you may find that one feels better on your sensitive parts than the others.

    When it hurts and you have to stop, it might actually be your lube causing the issue

    I recently found this out myself. I usually went with one very well known brand, but I noticed that it stung almost every time I had sex, to the point where I’d want to halt proceedings entirely after a few minutes. Annoying for my partner, annoying for me… Preparation is time-consuming and you want all that effort to be worth it, am I right?

    So I moved to a lesser-known brand, which was still waterbased and that stinging wasn’t so bad… Which made me think that not all lubes are created equal.

    I decided to treat my booty and bought a bottle of silicone-based lube and the difference was astounding, something I found out in one particularly long session (with a couple of guys, I know I’m a minx, what can I say). The whole session felt great if I’m honest and because silicone-based lube is generally longer-lasting you actually don’t need too much.

    Plus it tends to feel less tacky on your hands.

    two men kissing
    Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

    Good lube is an investment

    Of course, silicone isn’t going to be for everyone, but I really found that it worked for me. Lubes are a bit of trial and error. You need to take some time to find what works for you. The trouble is lube isn’t cheap. So I spoke to this with our partner shop THEGAYSHOP about putting together a trial bag that contains a number of different lubes, in smaller sizes, so you can try before investing in a larger bottle.

    There’s the mixed bag, which contains, water-based, silicone and hybrid lubes and there’s the silicone only the water-based only and the hybrid only bags.

    We all deserve to have good sex and for us to feel comfortable as much as possible during it too and lube might just be the answer to enjoying sex without discomfort.

  • 11 ways to reduce stress in your life

    11 ways to reduce stress in your life

    Handy for anyone getting pre-Uni jitters, going to a job interview or wanting an excuse to have more sex!

    1) Breathing

    It sounds silly as we do it automatically every few seconds of every day. I guess because if we didn’t then we wouldn’t have any stresses at all to worry about! Though I still often hear the phrase, “don’t forget to breath” and why because when we panic we take short little breaths which can make us feel tight and agitated. So when you find yourself in a stressful situation do two things for me. One – Close your eyes. Two – Take in a deep breath to at least the count of six or seven, then control your out-breath to a count of ten or eleven. Then repeat. IF YOU START TO FEEL DIZZY STOP! The closed eyes will allow you to focus on your breath and your breathing will help slow and calm the body allowing you to regroup to tackle any problems.

    2) Go for a walk

    If you’re in the office then leave your desk and take a walk around the office, be it to the coffee machine or to the toilets. If you’re on a lunch break then try to leave the building. Fresh air and a different surrounding will really help to take away any work-related stresses. Even if you have a deadline approaching a quick five mins walk can help save more time in the long run when you come back refreshed.

    3) Hot Bath & Candles

    Sounds like a cliché but really can do the trick. I love a hot bath filled with your favourite bath oil or soak. Light a couple of tee lights and turn the lights off. Breath in for six and out for ten, let your mind be free to wander. Breathing. In and out. Stresses of work, relationships, family will try to take over your clearing head as you breathe in and out. In and out. The best advice I was ever given was, when a thought enters your head don’t worry about it appearing, just let it drift away as it drifted in. Breath in and out. Let your thoughts evaporate into the steam of the bath. In and out. You have no worries. You have no stresses. You are enjoying the simplicity of life. Enjoy.

    4) Ditch the phone

    Mimzy / Pixabay

    Having yourself available for contact 24hrs a day is not good for your health. You need ‘you time’. Switch off the phone for an hour in the evenings and treat yourself to spending some time with yourself or a loved one. When a phone is switched off you don’t have to worry about life outside of you. If it’s important they can leave a message. I also urge to ditch the phone whilst sleeping. Turn it off and leave in another room, or if it’s your alarm clock then put it as far away from you in the room. Give the brain some time to relax from the positive energies of the phone that still engulf a room when not in use.

    5) Drink

    Most of us like a good drink now and then. If anything we all think we may drink a bit too much. I know I do, yet I try to convince myself it’s to help me unwind, to help me relax. True, in moderation! If you’re drinking a bottle of wine a night then it’s likely you won’t be getting a good nights sleep and feel groggy in the morning. Tonight why not ditch the bottle and have a peppermint tea instead? It has no caffeine so won’t keep you awake!

    6) Sex

    gay men having sex, gay couple
    CREDIT: ©-Lopolo-Depositphotos

    Yes, it can be a great relaxant. A good steamy session or even some quality alone time can help muscles to relax and relieve some tension from the body. However please be careful as sex can also cause a lot of stress to your life if you’re having it unprotected and with people you don’t know. A trip to the GUM clinic is not going to help you achieve a more relaxed you!

    7) Chocolate

    Yes I know I said chocolate and fizzy drinks are bad, but only if they are replacements for your main meals. A little nibble of chocolate (though for me if it’s open, it’s gone!) can give you a little life buzz. It’s these little buzzes that help us to enjoy life.

    8) Smiling

    It’s true! If you smile you instantly feel better. Go on try it now and prove me wrong. Think of anything that makes you smile. For me there’s a whole bank of ‘smile moments’ in my life, mostly at the expense of family members, sometimes at myself, such as the time I walked into a glass door whilst trying to enter a bar in NY. I may have had a bit to drink and missed the sign that said push but nose-first I left an imprint like an owl does when it’s hit a window at night. My eyes were certainly as wide!

    9) Massage

    CREDIT: Wavebreakmedia-Depositphotos

    Having someone else rub oils all over your body and rub all the built-up tension dirt from inside your muscles away is fantastic. I love it. Then again I just like being touched and It can sometimes be a great lead up to tension-busting tip number 6. However not everyone is as free with their bodies, so if you hate the idea of someone else’s sweaty palms prodding you all over then try this. Take a tennis ball and place it on the back of a chair and roll your back over it. This also works for rolling your feet over it to relieve any foot stresses.

    10) Eating

    CREDIT: mythja-bigstock

    What are you eating and when? Try not to skip meals like breakfast or lunch. Starving the body means it will fight for your attention and when you have a boss fighting for your attention also you don’t need the extra stress of a flagging body! When you do eat try to have something balanced. A good bowl of fruit and cereal for breakfast then a pasta lunch will do you wonders. Don’t replace meals with fizzy drinks or chocolate snacks as they’ll give you a five-minute rush then you’ll feel more tired than you started.

    11) Self Love

    silhouette photo of man leaning on heart shaped tree
    Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

    If you can’t have sex with someone else, or that just isn’t yourself then turn to masturbation. There’s a lot of research to show that having a handy shandy can relieve a variety of ailments because it boosts endorphins, reduces stress, improves sleep, improves immune system functioning, and can help with menopausal symptoms.

    UK sex therapist Kate Moyle, for LELO told us,  “The function of pleasure is to make us feel good; and self-pleasure and masturbation can have positive benefits for our health in a variety of ways, including the release of the hormone oxytocin which can lower cortisol levels, getting to know our bodies better, and building sexual self-confidence.

  • Here’s how you can simulate anal sex, when you’re not, you know, ready to bottom

    Here’s how you can simulate anal sex, when you’re not, you know, ready to bottom

    Well, the party doesn’t have to stop and you can still simulate anal sex for your partner, without actually taking the D inside you.

    This article discusses sexual matter.

    The spoon

    This has the added element of a natural sexual position. Lying in a spoon position, with the top lying behind the bottom, who spreads his legs slightly allowing the top to place his dick in between the bottom’s thighs, just below his butthole.

    The bottom/person at the front then closes their legs, creating a tight crevice for the person behind. Add lube, to make it more comfortable for the both of you. Silicone lube is best for this position as you won’t need a lot and it’s very long-lasting. This position can also be achieved in doggie style.

    Doggie Style

    The same technique as the spoon, except the bottom, is on all fours and the top “enters” from behind by placing his dick into the groin gap between the bottom’s thigh and scrotum.

    What’s cool about this position, is that both of you get a pleasurable experience, there are lots of nerve endings around the groin area so it will feel good. The top also has a wider range of movement for thrusting – so it will feel good for them too!

    Plus for the cumming situ, there’s the added bonus that the top can blow his load all over his partner’s butt!

    The armpit

    If you’re both up for something a little bit different you could try shoulder f*cking. Yep, you read that right.

    Essentially what happens here is the “top” puts his dick in the armpit gap created by the “bottom”‘s arm against his torso.

    This position is great for couples who like to face each other when having sex and also those who like to think outside the box when it comes to positions.

    If you like mixing laughter with f*cking, this is a great position because you’re very likely to burst out laughing at some point.

    The cumming situ is also good here, as the top can spurt in various places, including the face or the torso. Win-win for all those cum lovers out there.

    Apart from anything else, these positions offer an almost STI-free way of having sex. However, because there is skin on skin contact, you could still contract skin to skin STIs.

    As always, it’s good to add sexual health testing to your healthcare regime. If you’re having sex regularly with the same or multiple partners, experts suggest getting a check-up every three to six months.

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  • DILEMMA | No one is ever going to love me, my life is spiralling out of control

    DILEMMA | No one is ever going to love me, my life is spiralling out of control

    Dear Uncle,

    My life has been spiralling down the drain. I hate the way I look, I don’t like my attitude or my mood swings. I’m not doing very well in college and I think I’m going to fail my course. I want to move aboard, but doubt this will be able to happen as I’ve no money and no qualifications.

    On top of all that, I’ve not had a boyfriend and really can’t see it happening for me. Who’d want to go out with someone like me?

    I feel like such a loser and I feel like I’m at the end of my tether.

    Brandon, 21

    Dear Brandon.

    I want to thank you for reaching out to me.

    Recognising that you’re unhappy or that you’re reaching the end of your tether is so powerful. It’s so seemingly simple yet can feel like the most difficult thing in the world to admit.

    First off, some practical things you can do for yourself. Booking an appointment with your doctor / GP, is something you should seriously consider doing. You may have some underlying depression which they can help you with. When the doc asks you why you’re there to see them, don’t hold back. Tell them everything you’ve mentioned here today.

    Secondly, talk to your course leaders. They can help you and go through some of your options with you particularly important if you think you’re going to fail.

    I am very, very sure they’ll be understanding. Also while we’re on the subject of college or Uni, book to see the campus counsellor. Believe me, they are a beacon of light. When I had issues when I was at uni, my counsellor really helped me work stuff out. Something I will never forget and something I will be eternally grateful for. Those 45 minutes with her were, at my lowest, the most treasured 45 minutes of my week.

    Thirdly and I know this sounds weird, but make sure you’ve got food in your fridge (it doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive) or fruit in your fruit bowl. Make your bed every morning and carry a pen and paper everywhere you go, to write down notes and make lists.

    Sometimes, especially at the moment because of Coronavirus and all the mounting pressures on us all, life can creep up on us and unless we’re dealing with problems or issues right away, they can feel like massive mountains that we can’t climb. A tidy bed, a good meal and a place to organise your thoughts could really help iron out some of the bumps you’re feeling right now.

    Loving yourself

    As for love and the possibility of someone ever loving you. It’s such a cliché but you got to love yourself first and the next step to loving yourself is making sure you’re still with us.

    You may feel dark right now, but even the longest night must eventually give way to the morning.

    Who knows what the future holds, but I really hope you’re around to experience it.

    Please reach out to the Samaritans if you need to talk to someone. They are available online 24/7 or calling 116 123.

    Also, you can reach out to TheMix who specialise in supporting people under the age of 25.

    Got a dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here

  • DILEMMA | Piles ruined my wedding night… What can I do?

    DILEMMA | Piles ruined my wedding night… What can I do?

    Dear Uncle,

    I’m a newly married man. I’m suffering from piles. Can I have sex with piles? If yes how many times in a week I can have sex with piles?

    Concerned, 33

    Dear Concerned, 33

    Yikes, that’s a lot of butt sex questions. Piles are a pain in the ass, quite literally and I would recommend if you’re in pain or bleeding from your butt not having penetrative sex until they’ve all healed up. This doesn’t mean that you have to forgo sex altogether. There are a few ways to simulate anal sex for your partner, read about them here – and let’s not forget our friends the BJ and the humble handjob.

    We asked Public Health Practitioner Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth his thoughts on whether it’s safe to have sex whilst you have haemorrhoids and he told us,

    “Anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex.

    “If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though, this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely.

    “I would recommend using Preparation H or Germoloids (all available on Amazon) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling.

    Embed from Getty Images

    So, get yourself a good haemorrhoids cream and go to town on those bad boys, when they’ve healed up or disappeared from view then you can start reintroducing anal sex back into your life – but go slow and use lots and lots of lube. If you get a sharp painful feeling or see blood, stop.

    If the piles don’t go away after a couple of weeks, book an appointment with your doctor to see what they maybe able to do to help.

  • This guy says he finds it hard to top, asks internet for inspo

    This guy says he finds it hard to top, asks internet for inspo

    One guy recently admitted on Reddit, that he liked the idea of topping but after his first attempt during a hook up his dick wasn’t playing ball and it just wouldn’t “stay in his ass”.

    He said that it wasn’t an enjoyable experience for him or his hook up, so he turned to the Internet on advice on how to stay hard during sex.

    The mood passed?

    User inlarry said that during a hook up a lot of guys “psyched themselves out” before an encounter, only to find that mood has passed. Suggesting that the issue is probably 90 per cent more mental than physical.

    Erection Dysfunction

    Then there was the suggestion about ED (erectile dysfunction) by whatthefuckpare, who added, “Some people maintain an erection for jacking off just fine but have mental barriers against being able to penetrate well”.

    There is loads of information about ED here. If you’re very concerned you should book an appointment with your doctor.

    And ED can affect any penis at any age.

    User jjaekkak said, “Common misconception and unnecessary stigma! No shame in the game. Some people need glasses. Some people have ADD. Some people’s erections need some help. None of it makes anyone any less human/worthy/sexy.”

    Cockrings?

    Of course, there are some devices that can help you stay erect, once you’ve managed to get it up. A cockring is one such tool. It works by slowing down the rate at which the blood leaves the penis – while still allowing blood to flood into your member – meaning that you’ll most likely stay hard and larger for longer. Check out the cockring pictured above here.

    Attraction

    What if the person you’ve hooked up with doesn’t do it for you in the flesh? The trouble with apps like Grindr is that you can fall for the guy in a picture rather than his reality – and that’s okay. Attraction is a totally subjective thing.

    Make a polite excuse or be totally honest (still polite) and leave.

    It’s hard being at the top

    Especially the first time you top. There’s a lot of stress and performance anxiety for top and a lot of that comes from the porn we consume. Porn’s tops tend to be large, vigorous and have the stamina of a mountain goat. Most guys just aren’t that way. So try not to compare. Be in the moment.

    Maybe an issue with your condom size.

    One guy suggested trying a larger size condom. He found that he was losing his erection and when he spoke to a health care professional about it, they suggested trying a larger sized condom, “Game changer regular sized condoms were cutting the blood supply from my above regular dick! Also the best day of my life… Try the big condoms … Validation!”

    Maybe you’re a side

    Maybe, just maybe, you’re not into anal. There are guys who much prefer to do everything else but the butt stuff – many call themselves, “sides“.

    Change positions

    CREDIT: © dnf style| Depositphotos

    Some positions work, some don’t. Try out different positions and see which one works for you.

    Sobering Up

    Another erection killer is drugs and alcohol. Brewer droop is a thing. Also, it’s worth noting it’s not just non-prescription drugs that can affect your ability to perform, prescribed meds can also have an effect. Speaking to THEGAYUK, Dr Nitin Shori said, “It’s important that you treat your depression and tackle the underlying factors that might be causing it.

    “If you speak to your GP they may be able to change your medication to one that has less of an effect on your libido or consider whether your depression itself is the cause”.

  • DILEMMA| My boyfriend really wants me to rim him, I’m not so keen

    DILEMMA| My boyfriend really wants me to rim him, I’m not so keen

    Dear Uncle,

    My bf and I have been together for about a year and we’re really starting to explore what kinds of sexual activities we’re into – and he told me that he really likes being rimmed. Problem is, I’ve never done it and I’m just not that keen on licking his hole, in case it’s dirty.

    I want to make him happy, so what’s your advice?

    Toby, 20

    >>> READ THE ANSWER: NSFW >>>

    Pages: 1 2

  • DILEMMA | I’ve never had gay sex

    DILEMMA | I’ve never had gay sex

    Dear Uncle,

    I’m still a virgin. I’m 18 and this worries me. I have never had sex in my life and I think it is important to have sex all the time

    What should I do?

    Addy

    READ THE ANSWER

    Pages: 1 2

  • DILEMMA | I’m concerned about coronavirus, should I stop hooking up?

    DILEMMA | I’m concerned about coronavirus, should I stop hooking up?

    A reader asks whether he should stop hooking up with guys from dating apps, during the coronavirus outbreak.

    Dear Uncle,

    I’m really concerned about the spread of coronavirus and wondering whether hooking up with random guys off grindr is safe.

    What do you suggest?

    Matthew

    This article has been updated read the new response here.

    Dear Matthew,

    You ask a good question and one that could be applied to any number of viruses or infections that we face every time we make the decision to hook up with someone random off an app.

    Every time we decide to hook up with someone we haven’t received an entire up-to-date health scan from (read: basically every time) you are at some risk, but overall we make the call that the risk is worth the play.

    So should Coronavirus be any different?

    An agent for change?

    CREDIT: ©-Vadymvdrobot-Depositphotos

    I think coronavirus could be a good engine for change or adaptation for our community. It might invite us to start talking more openly about our sexual health, testing and well-being in general and there’s no harm in having a conversation with someone about their health before you hook up.

    The more we talk about these things, hopefully, the less stigma there is attached to our health.

    Is coronavirus overhyped?

    Despite the massive media attention given to coronavirus, it’s worth acknowledging that every year the human race battles flu, colds and other infections. The LA Times notes that this flu season alone 32 million Americans were infected with influenza, which resulted in 18,000 deaths.

    But with that said, it would be prudent to take some precautions.

    You could ask the person you’re planning to meet with whether they’re likely to have come into contact with the virus – i.e. have they travelled from one of the places hardest hit with the virus – like China, Iran, Italy or South Korea.

    However, given that the incubation period for this virus is assumed to be around two weeks, even someone who isn’t showing any symptoms may actually be carrying the virus.

    Be wary of your own heath – do you have underlying health conditions that could lead to complications should you become infected with the coronavirus.

    Keep the NHS website in your bookmarks for updates from the medical professionals and make your decisions based on their advice.

    Matthew, in the end, it’s up to you. I wouldn’t stop having fun at this stage, but I’d urge you and others to self isolate if you think you’ve started to get symptoms and not just with Corona – don’t hook up with guys if you’ve got a cold, flu or if you’re in treatment for an STI.

    Let’s not spread infections around.

    We’re a community that needs to protect each other.

    While I’m at it, why not go for a sexual health check-up – ask about PrEP, the HPV and Hepatitis vaccines.

    Got a dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here