This month, I happened to be invited to a sit down pasta/policy night with a well-known community leader. Around the table I was joined by five colleagues from the LGBT media.

Yes, we are all individual and no we don’t all like Madonna, musicals or muscles, but there has to be something more than just the love of a certain type of genitalia that unites gay people. What about shared experience? Surely there’s a common understanding of what it feels to feel slightly out of the ‘norm’. We will never be the ‘norm’ just from a statistical point of view, we’ll always be a minority, doesn’t that imply a certain unity?

Or what about the fear of coming out. Show me someone who has never feared coming out to anyone, and I’ll show you a liar.

Haven’t we all watched a Hollywood movie with the perfectly presented heteronormative narrative and thought – “wow this does not apply to me in any shape or form?”

But being gay does go deeper than willies and vaginas. Isn’t it about who we want to fall in love with? Isn’t love greater than that? Isn’t it about with whom we see ourselves growing old with? Isn’t it deeper than the sum of our parts?

I find comfort in being and feeling part of something. A collective. A unified voice. That’s why pride parades can feel so incredible. All those voices – an incredibly powerful voice with an incredibly powerful message.

We need to be a clear and strong community, to ensure our voices are still heard and that they continue to be heard. We may have almost legal equality, but there’s still a fight for acceptance and societal equality to be had.

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