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  • NEWS: Naked Rowers Show Cheek For Charity Calendar Against Homophobia

    Well it’s Thursday afternoon and a press release about NAKED rowers from Warwick University hits the newsdesk; of course, we’re going to share them with you.

    Gok’s tweeted about it, Boy George is on the team so to speak and Stephen Fry is a fan. This fearless rowing team from Warwick University have launched a crowdfunding campaign to produce a naked calendar to raise funds for their outreach program to tackle prejudice, bullying and homophobia throughout schools.

    Bravo boys!

    They are looking to raise £5000, it’s all for a good cause… dig deep readers

  • Moldova gets its own “It Gets Better” partner

    Worldwide campaign It Gets Better Project announces its very first eastern European affiliate in Moldova to celebrate IDAHO.

    To mark the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia the pro-gay and awareness campaign,It Gets Better Project, aimed at inspiring young people who are at risk of taking their own lives due to bullying because of their sexual orientation have announced a new partnership in the European country of Moldova.
    Seth Levy, Chairman of the Board of Directors told TheGayUK,
    ‘The It Gets Better Project works globally to share message of hope with LGBT youth and to make things better for them The Project has already had great success through its international efforts in the Americas, Australia, Western Europe and the Caribbean We are now beginning to work in more regions where, at times, the circumstances for LGBT youth are especially challenging and LGBT-focused resources are scarce. Moldova has historically been such a place. We are very excited to have partnered with our local affiliate, Egali, to help improve things for LGBT youth in Moldova.’
    The ILGA-Europe Rainbow Map, which reflects the national legal and policy human rights situation in each European country rated Moldova at just 10% just ahead of Armenia and Russia.
    Same-sex sexual activity has been legal since 1995, but does not have specific law to protect people from discrimination based on sexual orientation.
    Moldova is bordered between Ukraine and Romania.
    The UK topped the Rainbow Map with 77% towards the respect of human rights and full equality.
    Visit the It Gets Better Project at: www.itgetsbetter.org

  • Six quotes that made Harvey Milk Great

    Six quotes that made Harvey Milk Great

    Harvey Milk would have been 83 years old if Dan White hadn’t killed him in 1978. Today Harvey Milk Day is celebrated to remind us all how incredible his achievements were and to give all LGBT people around the world Hope.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    “It takes no compromise to give people their rights…it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression.” – Harvey Milk

    “If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.” – Harvey Milk

    From a tape recording he made when he predicted his assassination:

    “All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.” – Harvey Milk

    On the rights of the young:

    “Hope will never be silent.” – Harvey Milk

    “The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us’es, the us’es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone.” – Harvey Milk

    Tape recorded, said in the last year of his life.

    “All men are created equal. No matter how hard they try, they can never erase those words. That is what America is about.” – Harvey Milk

  • HARVEY MILK | A gay icon who changed the face of gay politics

    HARVEY MILK | A gay icon who changed the face of gay politics

    American politics was filled with a sea of heterosexual faces, sometimes fiercely homophobic, but mostly irreverent towards the gay community, that was until Harvey Milk entered the political arena.

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    Harvey Bernard Milk was born in the cold and wet winter of 1930, his birthplace was Woodmere, a small, hard-working, middle class, close-knit hamlet in Nassau County in the state of New York. After graduating in 1951, Milk joined the United States’ Navy, during the Korean War, he served aboard a rescue submarine, the USS Kittiwake – and later transferred to San Diego to serve as a diving instructor. He was discharged from the Navy in 1955.

    Harvey Milk could be described as one of life’s wanderers until he moved to San Francisco he was a teacher, an actuarial statistician, a researcher, and a presidential campaigner, he worked in investments and for a theatre company.

    He was a drifter, moving from California to Texas to New York and back again, without a steady job; eventually, Milk with his then-partner Scott Smith opened a camera shop on Castro Street in San Francisco with their last $1,000.

    He moved from New York City to San Francisco in 1972, amid a mass migration of gay men to the Castro District. The gay’s growing political and economic power ensured that people like Milk could take advance to promote their interests.

    Initial political aspirations

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    Milk ‘s initial reception by the already installed gay political establishment could be described as cold, Jim Foster who had been active in gay politics for ten years resented Milk asking him for endorsement to becoming a City Supervisor, Foster told Milk,

    “There’s an old saying in the Democratic Party. You don’t get to dance unless you put up the chairs. I’ve never seen you put up the chairs.”

    Undeterred Milk won the support and endorsement of local gay bars and business owners, who had become disillusioned by the slow-moving pace of the already visible gay political movement.

    Milk had an inimitable political style; his exuberant speeches and his astute media skills earned him significant press during the 1973 election, however, he failed to win.

    Although Milk was a newcomer he had shown flair for leadership, he was starting to be taken seriously as a candidate and decided to run again as a City Supervisor and started using his camera store as a centre of activity in the Castro neighbour. The community rallied around Milk and voluntarily helped run his campaigns for him.

    This time round Milk came 7th in the election, just one place away from earning a Supervisor seat.

    First openly gay commissioner in the US

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    Milk became the first openly gay commissioner in the United States after the newly elected Mayor George Moscone appointed him to the Board of Permit Appeals in 1976 where he worked just 5 weeks in the job before running for the California State Assembly.

    Milk was described as a man of mixed temperament and of disorganisation. His campaign volunteer database comprised of just scraps of paper and his campaign manager’s assistant was an 11-year-old girl.

    His accounting was erratic, reportedly grabbing fistfuls of cash from his store’s cash register. He was prone to amazing outburst of momentary temper before shouting excitedly about something else. Described as manic, one could not fault the man for his dedication and general good humour.

    In 1977 his last campaign to become a City Supervisor, Milk’s showboating, handshaking and manic campaigning tactics won him a position, but with his victory came the distinct threat of assassination. He began to record his thoughts for preservation in case he was killed, stating, “If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door”.

    Headliner

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    As the first openly gay, non-incumbent man in US history his swearing in as City Supervisor made national headlines, giving the gay community a positive visibility that it hadn’t enjoyed before. He started in office sponsoring a civil rights bill that outlawed discrimination based on sexual orientation, it was met with no opposition apart from Dan White, who Milk had increasingly bad relations with after Milk switched his vote in supporting a health facility for troubled adolescents be placed in White’s District.

    His personal life at the time was one filled with sadness; he had long split with Smith and had begun a relationship with a man 18 years his senior; Jack Lira who hanged himself after being consumed with sadness with the anti-gay campaigns of Anita Bryant and John Brigg.

    The John Briggs Initiative known as Proposition 6 would have made the firing of any gay teacher or public school employee who supported gay rights mandatory. Brigg’s stated that gay teachers wanted to recruit and molest children; Milk refuted this with statistics compiled by law enforcement that most paedophiles were identified as heterosexuals.

    Brigg’s campaign came off the back of singer Anita Bryant’s “Save Our Children” campaign in Florida which repealed a law which ended discrimination based on sexual orientation.

    During the summer of 1978, gay pride marches found their attendance level rise, with over 250,000 people attending San Francisco’s Gay Freedom Day Parade. This is where Milk gave an impassioned ‘Hope Speech’

    “On this anniversary of Stonewall, I ask my gay sisters and brothers to make the commitment to fight. For themselves, for their freedom, for their country … We will not win our rights by staying quietly in our closets … We are coming out to fight the lies, the myths, the distortions. We are coming out to tell the truths about gays, for I am tired of the conspiracy of silence, so I’m going to talk about it. And I want you to talk about it. You must come out. Come out to your parents, your relatives.”

    Even though Anita Bryant’s campaign had been successful in Florida, Brigg’s initiative failed by more than a million votes. In San Francisco alone 75% voted against the proposition.

    Who was Dan White?

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    On 10th November 1978, Dan White resigned stating that the yearly salary of $9600 was not sufficient to support his family, days later he asked Mayor Moscone for his resignation to be withdrawn, although the Mayor initially agreed, after further consideration and consultation with the other city supervisors, Moscone was persuaded to install someone who represented White’s district which was growing in ethnic diversity.

    On 27th November 1978, Harvey Milk would wake for the last time, in his beloved adopted town of Castro.

    Half an hour before the press conference in which Mayor Moscone was to announce White’s replacement, White entered City Hall with a gun undetected and made his way to the Mayor’s office. Witnesses recall hearing shouting, between the two men followed by four gunshots.

    White had shot Moscone once in the shoulder, once in the chest and twice in the head.

     

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    After reloading his gun, White intercepted Milk – an argument ensued, followed by more gunshots as he emptied 5 hollow-point bullets into Harvey Milk’s head and body.

    The President of the Board of Supervisors, Dianne Feinstein found Harvey Milk and identified both bodies.

    It was Feinstein, who announced to the press,

    ‘Today San Francisco has experienced a double tragedy of immense proportions. As President of the Board of Supervisors, it is my duty to inform you that both Mayor Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk have been shot and killed.”

    Milk was 48 and Moscone was 49.

    Milk’s legacy is still felt to this day, in the last year of his life, he empowered gay people to be more visible; to help themselves to end the discrimination and violence against them. In his final statement during the taped prediction of his assassination he said,

    ‘I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.

    Although his time in politics was relatively short, Milk’s untimely death at the hand of Dan White, ensured that Harvey Milk would forever be held up as one of the most powerful and iconic men of politics the world has ever seen.

  • 10 Fantastic Places for A Great Gay Date in London

    There are all the typical things to do in London; the bridge, the tower, the eye, and so on, but what if you want to network with other gays and meet people to take. Perhaps you want to take your friend to a new or different place. Here are 10 places you may not have thought of before.

     

    The Underground Club

    Located under Central Station you will find the Underground Club where the speciality of the day is the dark and mysterious. There is always a hopping party crowd and live DJ. One the weekends there is a light show to go with whatever the theme is. The Underground offers a fun place to go after you visit Central Station. So make a night out of this visit.

     

    Hampstead Heath Ponds

    Located in North London is the Hampstead Heath Ponds, three large freshwater swimming points that are popular for same sex and mixed couples alike. For centuries people have been coming to the ponds for a relaxing dip in the waters. Take your partner to the ponds and have some wet fun. Let your playful side come out while enjoying an athletic dip.

     

    Central Station, Kings Cross

    Known as one of the best pubs around, Central Station is known for Sweet Wednesday and diverse clientele that include transvestites and transsexuals. This is a wonderful place to take your partner for a little fun, exploration and ale. Events include cabaret and theme nights and can be found on Wharfdale Road in London.

     

    Gay Supper Club – The Hope, London

    At The Hope, a pop up restaurant, you and your date can attend the Gay Supper Club where you will enjoy a gourmet meal prepared by a world renowned Michelin star chef. This is an intimate setting designed for gay men to get to know each other, network, socialize and make new friends. The event is organised and supported by the Grub Club & Urban Connections group. The aim of this event which will be held on June 19th, 2013 is to bring individuals together to hopefully find their soul mate. This is not speed-dating, each course is taken at a slow comfortable pace but you will rotate thought the restaurant to meet multiple people and intermingle. There is no age limit of dress code, so put this night on your calendar and plan for an impromptu chance to meet your one.

     

    Vauxhall

    Within London is an inner city known as Vauxhall. This is where you come if you are gay and you want to party all night or through the weekend. This area is filled with bars, taverns, nightclubs, raves and parties. Get out into the night air, and dress up in your sexiest gear, you are bound to meet new likeminded friends at places like The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, The Hoist, Fire, and Barcode Vauxhall. Don’t stop there, there is so much to do in this area, you and your partner could party round the clock all weekend long.

     

    Soho London

    If you’re looking for the fun, hip, diverse center of activity and fun, look no further than Soho London for your date. The atmosphere in Soho is contagious, pleasurable, and a must-see for your date. With live entertainment, unique cuisine, a pulsing nightlife, and celebrations like Pride London, this is where you want to spend your time to meet and network with fellow gay Londoner’s and tourist

     

    London Gay Men’s Chorus

    Do you have a song in your heart? Then you should join up with the guys at the London Gay Men’s Chorus to express yourself inner Sir Elton John and meet new friends. The choir is one of the largest most active groups for gay men in Europe. The mission is to entertain, educate, and inspire others through music while challenging the preconceptions of homosexuality. If you cannot sing, then sign up for their newsletter and attend their events, you might meet your next date who has the voice of an angel.

     

    Hackney City Farm

    Not every date is required to take place at a club or bar. For a bit of variety during the sunlight hours stop by the Hackney City Farm with your special one. Take a minute to feed the goats and donkeys and watch your partner melt as he cuddles a little bunny in his strong arms. There are weekend courses, classes in pottery and mosaics, or you could become volunteers. This is a great place to honor your need for animals and outdoors and show your variety to your partner.

     

    Broadway Market

    Get out and go to the market. In almost every city around the world, there is an outdoor fresh market. In the London, this is the Broadway Market. Start your Saturday with a date at the market with all tastes and cultures that will satisfy any palate or shopping need. You will find the Market between Regent’s Canal and London Fields. There is everything from food, handcrafted items, and clothing. Bring your partner, take in the fresh air, and pick up fresh ingredients for a late picnic at London Fields and a candlelight dinner at home.

     

    A London Fields Picnic

    In East London, you will find the idyllic London Fields Park situated at the end of the Broadway Market. Historically a pasture, the park is not the hub of activity in East London. You will find a cricket pitch, BMX track, swimming pool, tennis courts, and more. Bring your date here, pack a picnic and plan an activity that you will both enjoy. You are bound to be able to plan a fun, relaxing day with your love interest.

     

    There you have it a fine selection of civil and naughty places to take your hot date in the capital city perhaps you seduced your partner on the web or indulging in gay chat with hot men by phone on a line heaven forbid just in the real world in the local bar. Well after your great effort on securing your sexy dates time make sure it goes with a real bang and hit up London.

  • Overwhelming support for same-sex marriage

    Landslide support for Same Sex Marriage Bill in House of Commons, with the Bill passing its third reading by 366 votes to 161.

    MPs have again voted overwhelmingly in favour of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill. Moments ago the Bill passed its Third Reading vote in the House of Commons by 366 votes to 161 – a majority of 205. The Bill will extend the legal form of marriage to lesbian, gay and bisexual people and permit religious denominations to celebrate such marriages should they wish. It now heads to the House of Lords for debate in June.

    In a statement Stonewall Chief Executive Ben Summerskill said,

    ‘This evening’s vote shows MPs are on the public’s side, as poll after poll shows a clear majority of people in Britain support equal marriage. Now that the Bill has cleared the Commons without any of the wrecking amendments tabled by opponents, we hope peers will show the same respect to public attitudes.

    ‘Sadly in recent weeks several peers have expressed deeply unpleasant views about gay people. Stonewall expects one of our toughest fights yet ahead of us. We’ll continue to work tirelessly every day to help secure this final modest measure of legislative equality.’

    The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill passed its Second Reading with a majority of 225 votes on 5 February. MPs rejected a wrecking amendment – by 375 votes to 70 – during the Bill’s Report Stage in the House of Commons on 20 May.

  • LGBT Helpline Scotland opens

    Brand new LGBT Helpline opens in Scotland.

    A brand new LGBT helpline, called LGBT Helpline Scotland, has opened in Edinburgh and is open every Tuesday and Wednesday from 12PM – 9PM and will offer help, information and support for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community across Scotland

    Stephen McCabe, the co-ordinator for the helpline said,

    ‘I am delighted to announce that LGBT Helpline Scotland – Scotland’s first ever national helpline for LGBT people and their families, friends and supporters – will open next week on May 7th.

    ‘For some time we have identified the need for a national Scottish LGBT helpline, and thanks to funding from the Scottish Government we now have a team of fully trained volunteers ready to take calls when we launch next Tuesday.

    ‘Our volunteers are trained to answers calls relating to sexuality, gender identity, isolation, sex and sexual health, coming out, hate crime (we are able to report crimes over the phone via our Third Party Reporting Service), amongst other needs that LGBT people in Scotland may have.’

    To speak to a volunteer call 0300 123 2523

  • Gay marriage wrecking amendments fail

    Wrecking Amendments fail in marathon parliamentary debate on Gay Marriage.

    MPs in the House of Commons rejected an amendment tabled by those opposed to marriage equality, which would have prolonged further voting on the forthcoming bill to legalise same-sex marriage in the UK

    The amendment tabled by former families minister Tim Lougton MP, would have extended the option of civil partnerships to straight couples, which many supporters of same-sex marriage fear would delay or scupper the same-sex marriage bill altogether.

    The amendment was rejected by 375 votes to 70.

    Ben Summerskill from Stonewalls wrote in a statement,

    ‘The amendment, tabled by vocal opponents of equality, would have resulted in significant delays to the Bill’s implementation. Tonight’s (20th May) success means that the Bill has survived all of the attempts made thus far to undermine it.

    ‘Tomorrow (2st May) the Bill will have its Third Reading in the Commons before it heads to the House of Lords where, as always, we expect a very tough fight.”

    Equal Marriage and #AggressiveHomosexuals began trending on Twitter last night during the parliamentary debate after Sir Gerald Howarth MP, stated that,

    ‘…I fear the playing field is not being levelled I believe the pendulum is swinging so far the other way, and there are plenty in the aggressive homosexual community who see this as but a stepping stone to something even further…’

    Sir Gerald did not elaborate on what further steps would be.

  • BARBRA STREISAND: A Vintage Gay Icon Who Defines Longevity

    If a tragically short life is one of the qualifications needed to become a gay icon, then Barbra Streisand fails miserably.

    71 this year she has lived, and is still living a richly fulfilling life, both privately and professionally. Only last year her latest movie, The Guilt Trip, was released and she is about to embark on another world tour, and she is still happily married to her husband of 15 years, James Brolin. Many icons (Judy Garland, Maria Callas, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean) tragically die young. Others (Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli) survive into old age, despite having disastrous private lives, but there are others (Cher and Madonna would be other examples) who somehow manage to take, and retain, control of their own lives. Maybe that is what makes them such icons.

    Born in 1942, Streisand’s rise to fame was positively meteoric. Still only 18, she started out singing at various nightclubs in Greenwich Village, and by the time of her final engagements at the Bon Soir in 1962, she already had amassed an enormous (mostly gay) following. Never one to stick to the rules, her set would be a mix of eclectic songs, ranging from Arlen’s “A Sleepin’ Bee” (often her unconventional opener) to her crazy version of “Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf”. She always considered herself an actress who sings, rather than the other way round, and in 1962 she made her Broadway debut in the musical “I Can Get It For You Wholesale” playing the minor role of Miss Marmelstein. Though the show flopped, she garnered great reviews, and around this time she was also signed to Columbia records, with whom she has remained ever since. Even back then Streisand, convinced she would be a star, was only going to be a star on her terms. Her recording contract, unbelievably for a newcomer, gave her complete artistic control over the material she recorded. Her first album gave her the first of her 15 Grammy awards!

    Never conventionally pretty, most would have thought her destined for a career in character roles, but she knew that she was leading lady material. Though she was advised to fix her nose, to change her name, she never did, and the only concession she made was dropping the second ‘a’ from her name. Barbara became Barbra. She had a reputation for being difficult even back then, but, it is no doubt her uncompromising belief in herself, that propelled her to stardom. She knew she was different and she was determined to stay different.

    In 1964 she appeared on Broadway as Fanny Brice in the musical “Funny Girl”, and the rest, as they say, is history. When the show became a movie, it was a foregone conclusion that Streisand would be its star, not often the case when a Broadway show becomes a movie. In between Broadway and Hollywood she had played Fanny Brice in the West End production of “Funny Girl”, made three TV specials, the first of which, “My Name is Barbra”, won five Emmy Awards, and even became a mother. (She had married her first husband, Elliott Gould, her co-star in “Wholesale”, in 1963). Inevitably, in 1969 she went on to win her first Oscar for “Funny Girl”. There was no stopping her.

    According to the Record Industry Association of America, Streisand holds the record for the most top-ten albums of any female recording artist – a total of 32 since 1963. Streisand has the widest span (48 years) between first and latest top-ten albums of any female recording artist. With her 2009 album, “Love Is The Answer”, she became one of the rare artists to achieve number-one albums in five consecutive decades. According to the RIAA, she has released 51 Gold albums, 30 Platinum albums, and 13 Multi-Platinum albums in the United States.

    At the height of her fame, Streisand was the highest grossing female star in Hollywood and the only woman in the top ten box office attractions. Her co-stars have included some of the biggest heart throbs in Hollywood, amongst them Robert Redford, Omar Sharif, Ryan O’Neal and James Caan. She was also the first woman ever to produce, direct, script and star in her own movie. Never one to suffer fools gladly, she acquired a reputation for being difficult, a bitch and a ball breaker, though she would always aver that, if she were a man, she would simply have been called tough. A perfectionist, she would go over a scene a hundred times if she thought it wasn’t right, and this no doubt contributed to that reputation, though many of her leading men found her a joy to work with.

    She and Elliott Gould split in 1971, and post her marriage, she was romantically linked with many high profile figures including the Canadian Prime Minister, Pierre Trudeau, Don Jonson and Andre Agassi, before finally settling down with James Brolin, to whom she has been married for the past 15 years. Her unconventional looks never seemed a barrier to her attracting some very attractive men.

    Stridently political, she is an outspoken supporter of equal civil rights, which include gay rights. In 2007 she helped raise funds in an unsuccessful attempt to defeat Proposition 8 in California. She also has publicly raised $25 million for various organisations, both political and charitable, through her live performances. Her only son, Jason Gould, is gay and she very publicly supported him when he came out. They evidently enjoy a close relationship and, in her most recent tour, he appears on stage with her, singing in duet.

    To understand what made so many gay men respond to Streisand in her early years, you really have to listen to some of those early records. Her recording career roughly breaks down into three different periods. In the early stuff, up to around 1969, she sings mostly standard repertoire, songs you might have heard sung by Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald or Julie London, but still puts her own inimitable stamp on them. With the Richard Perry produced “Stoney End” in 1971, she started to sing more contemporary music (she was, after all, only 29), and this change of musical direction broadened her appeal even further. Her most successful album, “Guilty” was a collaboration with Barry Gibb of The BeeGees. In 1985, she returned to her Broadway roots with “The Broadway Album”, which was another massive hit. That said, it marked another change in direction and, in my opinion, none of her subsequent albums has had the impact of her earlier work. They seem to have settled into a more comfortable, middle of the road, easy listening bracket. Her early records may well have been usually found in the “Easy Listening” section of a record store, but listening to Streisand at that time wasn’t always that” easy”. She demands attention. The bitterness with which she spits out the lyrics to such songs as “Free Again” or “Cry Me A River”, the pain and heartache enshrined in her rendition of “My Man”, at the end of the movie of “Funny Girl”, the vocal sparring with Donna Summer in the disco hit “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough”), the way she belts out the Laura Nyro classic “Stoney End”; if you only know Streisand from the stuff she has recorded from the 1990s onwards, then you really need to listen to these classics.

    You also need to see the film that made her a superstar, “Funny Girl”. Not far into the film, Streisand sings “I’m The Greatest star”, falteringly at first, then growing in confidence. Believe me, by the time she has finished singing you will have no doubts. Streisand was, still is, and no doubt will be long after she has left us, the greatest star.

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • COLUMN | The Anti-Social Network

    I have an ambivalent relationship with social networking. I love it and hate it in equal parts. Twitter irritates me. It seems to have a huge element of self promotion and bizarre grandiosity but more importantly, I can’t possibly say what I have to say in that small amount of letters. I’m too verbose to tweet. I need to rant and expound, not chirp a pithy one liner.

    The whole concept of social networking, for me, fits in with the whole “Only Connect” concept. Connection with others is what makes life bearable for lots of us. I’ve found out loads of stuff on Facebook which I wouldn’t otherwise have known. People I nod at in the corridor at work and have never managed to get to know, suddenly become more interesting when I find that we have something in common. I like the glimpse behind the curtains of people’s facades when they rant or rave about something.

    The bad things for me on Facebook are the boastfulness, the distasteful over sharing and the pleading attention seeking. You know the kind of thing. Here’s my guide:

    1) “Gail has had enough of it and can’t believe it has happened again.” This is purely meant to elicit curiosity, draw attention and so is best ignored. Do not under any circumstances type back “What’s up babes?” or “((hugs))”. Tough love is the answer. Ignore these people. Knock them off your news feed. Now! You’ll feel better for it.

    2) “Sheila can’t believe the cancer is back and she has to have her womb out tomorrow and may be dead on Thursday.” Really? You want to share that with the 300 people on your friend’s list including the woman from the Post office and that cleaner at work with the dodgy eye who you politely accepted a friend request from for fear of causing offence? Maybe it’s not so bad if you have a select list of close friends on Facebook but who does that? We all have lots of random people we nod to on there but wouldn’t know what to talk about if stuck in a lift together, don’t we? One ex-acquaintance updated her status that her mum had died (which was fine) but the status said “R.I.P. Mum who died at 1230am” and was posted at 12.31am. Phew. Speedy work on the laptop there and a small case of inappropriate priorities. One married couple I knew, publicly split up on Facebook. That was fun for everyone. Seriously, it was fun. I’m not being sarcastic. I love a bit of rancour and airing of dirty laundry. Some of their posts were like lines from “George and Mildred”

    3) Posting pictures of happy toddlers/dogs/husbands/bouquets of flowers or the nice tea you’re having. This is purely meant as an act of spite and is to rub single and miserable, dieting, pet-less people’s faces in your joy. Stop it.

    4) The “everyone” statements: e.g. “Everyone is proud to be British right now!” “Lovely weather for us all” Erm,..maybe but also maybe not. We’re not in a Fascist regime or a nation of Stepford wives. Get over your extremism and drop the generalisations.

    5) The “LOL”, the “ROFL” and the embarrassing “PMSL”.These people generally have bad grammar too. They’re strangers to the apostrophe and as for the their/there thing. They should be made to attend classes and also if they really are PMSLing then they need to get that checked out with their local practice nurse. It can be helped by simple bladder exercises and techniques.

    Trawl through my social networking accounts and I suspect you’ll also find me guilty as charged on a few of the above (but not the LOL, naturally).

    I did go on about my piles once and have often made remarks about my dodgy relationship break-ups too. When I used to drink to excess, I once also woke up on the kitchen floor after a session to find that I’d somehow written a poorly spelled comment to out a closeted ex. Thankfully a lovely friend saved my honour and sent me a text message suggesting it was an error to post that. That was lucky as I had no recollection of doing it, so thankfully it was only there for a few hours. I would have lost even more of the remaining self respect, which was rapidly ebbing away, had it been up longer. I hate that kind of behaviour too, especially in myself.

    I’ll redress the balance now with some truth telling of a different kind:

    Social Networking status: Had an amazing time at the nature reserve and saw herons, a weasel and fed the swans. Lovely day and great lunch.

    The truth: Yes, I did have a great time. My partner was there, we ate a lunch which was well presented on a balcony over-looking a pond and watched lots of interesting birds. To be honest though, there were only two non-meat options and I ended up with egg mayonnaise again which does get to be a bore. The sun was out and we laughed a lot. What I failed to mention is that I saw a weasel and was absolutely terrified and only just managed to contain my panic. It is after all, an elongated rat. I had a nervousness and protective instinct about my ankles the rest of the walk around the reserve. If I’d had some string I would have tied my trousers at the bottoms.

    I saw herons and swans but to be honest the swans were a bit mean faced and all had cuts and scars and were brawling with each other a lot which depressed me slightly. I went in a hut called “The Kingfisher Viewing Area” and saw no f***ing Kingfishers, just a sparrow or two. I wanted kingfishers. I didn’t get them. It was sunny but I was battered and tired after 7 shifts at work and it felt a bit stark at times. I sweated a lot. A man told me off for smoking too near the cafe and I almost pushed him off a bridge in rage and stuck my lighter up his arse (but contained myself). I brooded a little about this but not much. My partner’s back was sore and he was fretful about some work he’s got to do for University. Finally, I was bitten to pieces by insects and now have a swelling on my neck like a goitre. It itches like mad and makes me look like an inbred Derbyshire hill person from the 1700s.

    Happy now?

    I once declared a “truth day” on Facebook and people joined in with gusto, counterbalancing smug posts with reality bites. It’s amazing how many people admitted to being bored at home, having flatulence or sitting around in a baggy old tracksuit watching TV.

    So, next time you see a photo and posting about a loved up couple and their happy toddlers, just remember: one of them may well have cheated, one has a persistent fungal infection and they’re yet to find out where the toddler has hidden the turd. It’ll make you feel much happier.

    Disclaimer: If you’re still on my social networking lists then it’s not you I’m talking about. The above mentioned culprits have been removed and my news feed cleansed.

  • FILM REVIEW | The Year Dolly Parton Was My Mum

    ★★★★★ | The Year Dolly Parton Was My Mum

    I rarely gush, especially when sober, but fasten your seat belts – I’m about to.

    I’ve just been fortunate enough to spend 1 and 1/2 hours in the company of some of the most wonderful talents around, including Dolly Parton.

    The Year Dolly Parton Was My Mum is one of those rare things, a film that manages to be both funny and serious, mixing the genres of road movie and coming of age – with Dolly Parton added into the mix (did I mention that already?)

    The story is simple:

    Eleven year old Elizabeth has a solid, simple life. That is until a run-of-the-mill school assignment alters her life, and the lives of the people around her forever. She’s struggling to cope with the usual pre-teen issues – boobs and periods, mean girls and then suddenly added to this, the fact she was adopted.

    She puts 2 and 2 together to get 3, and sets off to meet what she assumes to be her real mom, Dolly Parton, at a concert over the border in the US.

    What follows is a cross country chase (although with Elizabeth on her Chopper bike, this isn’t Fast or Furious!) when her adoptive mother overcomes her issues about her perfect life to re-ignite her relationship with her daughter – genetic or not.

    The film perfectly captures the feel and colour of 1976, the music of Dolly is used throughout and although she doesn’t actually appear in this indie flick, her presence is everywhere, including new versions of old classics by the likes of Nelly Fertado and Martha Wainwright.

    I won’t spoil this any more for you, but treat yourself. Pour a Cinzano and lemonade, don your best flares and fly away collar shirt and treat yourself to some pure escapism.

    Director Tara Johns makes a brilliant first feature, having penned the film also. The film succeeds because it feels personal, it feels real, and, most of all, it engages you and makes you feel good.

    I’d give the film 6 out of 5 if it were possible.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy or Watch On iTunes