THEGAYUK

Tag: Coming Out

Read the latest news and advice on Coming Out as LGBT+.

  • Celebrities who have come out in 2017

    A number of celebrities have come out as LGBT in 2017. Singers, actors and sports stars have ventured out of the closet. We applaud them all.

    January 2017

    Coronation Street actor Rob Mallard came out on the 31st January

    February 2017

    Britain’s first high profile racing driver, Danny Watts came out as gay on the 20th February.

    March 2017

    Princess Diana’s former butler Paul Burrell came out on 7th March

    Walking Dead actor, Daniel Newman came out on the 31st March

    April 2017

    Singer and songwriter Barry Manilow finally revealed that he was married to a man, a story that originally ran two years previously.

     

    We will continue to update this list as it develops.

     

  • Barry Manilow finally comes out as gay

    Barry Manilow has come out as gay, nearly 40 years after striking up a relationship with his male manager.

    Barry Manilow comes out as gay
    CREDIT: S Buckey (C) Depositphotos

    Singer-songwriter, Barry Manilow has come out as gay at the age of 73, two years after it was reported that he married his longtime partner, Garry. The pair reportedly married in 2014, in Palm Springs, however, at the time, the “Mandy” singer’s publicist refused to answer speculation on the reports.

    The singer, who made his name along with Bette Midler in the gay bathhouses of New York City, has never spoken about his sexuality before, but he did tell The Daily Telegraph in 2012, that he wasn’t dating anyone and that he was happily single, despite the fact he was actually with his boyfriend manager.

    It seems as though he’s actually been with his partner for nearly 40 years after they met in 1978, whom he describes as “the smartest person” he’s ever met and “a great guy”. Garry is also Barry’s manager.

    He said that he kept his sexuality secret for so many years for fear of disappointing his fans, although as the People Magazine article notes, it was an “open secret to some in his long-devoted, mostly female fan base”.

    Anyway, THEGAYUK wishes Barry a Happy Coming Out day!

     

     

  • Paul Burrell, Princess Diana’s former butler comes out as gay

    Paul Burrell, Princess Diana’s former butler comes out as gay

    The former Butler for Princess Diana has come out as gay and plans to marry his partner.

    Paul Burrell
    CREDIT: Channel 5

    The UK’s most famous butler turned reality star and tell-all author, Paul Burrell has come out as gay and revealed plans to marry his boyfriend, lawyer Graham Cooper.

    He recently divorced his wife of 32 years and they have two sons together, Alexander and Nicholas.

    Paul is most famous for being the butler of Princess Diana at the time of her death in 1997. He has released a number of books of his time as a staff member for the royals and has sold over 2 million books. He has also appeared on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and Celebrity Big Brother.

    A spokesperson for the couple told The Sun, “I can confirm their forthcoming marriage.”

    Both men are aged 58.

  • How and when to come out to homophobic parents

    It’s pretty sobering that in 2017 there are gay people who are still fearing homophobic reactions from their parents.

    when should i come out to my homophobic parents
    CREDIT: bigstock-soupstock

    One questioner took to Quora to ask the internet how and when they should come out to their homophobic parents.

    Miles Hirson, writing on the forum said that they should wait until they are no longer financially dependent on them. This echoes the thoughts and advice of sex expert, Dan Savage, who often advises LGBT people on his weekly podcast to wait until they are able to afford their own rent, finish their education and fend for themselves without having to rely on their anti-gay parents.

    Miles said,

    “Don’t listen to what the liberal media tells you, use your head. Do you really need to tell your parents that you’re gay more than you need to finish school with a place to live and food to eat?

    “The people on TV telling you to come out aren’t gonna be at your front door to take care of you when your family kicks you out. be rational and get real,”

    It’s worth noting that in the UK, one-quarter of homeless people, on the street, are part of the LGBT+ community who have been chucked out by homophobic parents.

    ALSO READ:

     

    Ethan Reilly Browder seconded the sobering advice, adding,

    “If coming out to someone can lead to your discomfort or can lead to you not being safe, don’t do it”.

    If you’ve been thrown out by homophobic parents don’t forget you can always contact the Albert Kennedy Trust.

     

  • Britain’s first high profile racing driver, Danny Watts comes out as gay

    Britain’s first high profile racing driver, Danny Watts comes out as gay

    Danny Watts, an award-winning, high profile racing driver has come out as gay and is believed to be the first in the sport.

    CREDIT: Danny Watts/ with Permission / @jacobebrey

    Danny Watts, 37,  is believed to be first high-profile racing driving to come out in Europe. Speaking to THEGAYUK.com he said it was “such a good feeling” to be out.

    He came out in an interview with Autosport.com in which he revealed that he felt he had to hide his sexuality within his industry because “it’s a very masculine sport”.

    He told them,

    “There was something burning inside that said ‘right, you can’t hide it anymore, you’ve got to be free and be true to yourself and let it go out there’.

    “I told close family members and friends. There was obviously shock to start with but people were also very supportive, which was nice.

    “So I thought if they’re cool with it, let’s go with it.”

    Danny ended his driving career after Le Mans last year to focus on driver coaching. He admitted that he was “concerned” about coming out before he retired from racing, about how sponsors and team members might have reacted to the news about his sexuality.

    Speaking about how he feels since coming out and advice for others considering coming out, Danny said,

    “So what’s the best solution?

    “Just come out and just do it. If it’s out there and everyone knows about it then they can think what they want, whether it’s good or bad or ugly.

    “At least I can get into bed at night not having to think about it and know that it’s out in the open and I can live life a lot happier.”

    Danny joins just a handful of out professional sportsmen and women in the UK.

  • DILEMMA | I’m not sure if I’m gay – I play football and go on lads’ holidays

    This week a reader asks Dr Dannii Cohen whether he’s really gay, because he likes football and goes on lads’ holidays to Ibiza.

    Can I be gay? I like football and lad's holidays

     

    Dear Dannii,

    Up until recently I only dated girls, but I’m starting to see guys as quite attractive. My friends would consider me one of the lads – I play football and go on lads’ holidays to Ibiza… I don’t really do stuff that’s usually considered “gay” so I’m not sure. Also, I’m worried that my mates will disown me if I come out. I don’t fancy any of them, but they may think I do and that I’ve been hiding my feelings for them. I know they aren’t particularly gay-friendly. It’s been cause for a bit of banter in the past.

    Stephen, Portsmouth

     

    Dear Stephen,

    Thank you for writing in.
    From what you have told me it looks like you could very well be bisexual but focused only on girls in the past because that is ‘the norm’.
    Before you come out, try to see if your feelings go beyond just being attracted: go to a gay bar and dance with someone, go on dates, kiss a guy. No reason to come out if you don’t know how far your feelings go.

    What do you think those special things that are considered ‘gay’ actually are? There is no reason why someone gay or bi could not be ‘one of the lads’ as gay men come in all shapes and forms, but your friends may, of course, have a stereotypical image in their head.

    I am not going to lie: it’s hard coming out inside the kind of group you are in, though there have been some surprising success stories over the years.

    Do you have a close friend in the group that you trust and feel you can confide in? Or maybe one of them has an open-minded girlfriend you can talk to? Either of them could have your back during a coming out.

    If you take the step try to explain that this changes nothing: you’re still the same footballing lad you always were. Try to stay calm and answer any questions as good as you can.

    There is no guarantee that everyone will accept you immediately but you will never know if you don’t try. Try doing it on a night when the atmos is great, after a good tryout match for example. If people feel good they are more positively open. Also, try to come out in a safe public space where people are known to intervene if something goes wrong.

    Whatever you do: please discover your true feelings before starting a process that’s difficult to reverse. The moment you are secure about who you are is the moment you feel stronger when coming out.

    Always with love,
    Dannii

    Got an issue you’d like us to explore fill in the form below.

    ← Back

    Thank you for your response. ✨

    Your sexuality(required)
    My issue is:(required)

  • Dear Innocent-Me… What warnings, or advice, would you give your past self on the delightful world of gay dating apps?

    Dear Innocent-Me… What warnings, or advice, would you give your past self on the delightful world of gay dating apps?

    Embed from Getty Images

    Dear Innocent Me,

    I’m going to jump right into this one, partly because I have a word-count to stick to, but also because it’s a pretty important point that I need to discuss with you this time. One of the best parts of having a big gay time machine to contact my younger self through is knowing that I can potentially stop you from making some big mistakes. One way you’re going to make mistakes in the near future is through the fabulous world of mobile dating apps, so listen up, kiddo – it’s about to get real.

    Firstly, even at the age of 25 I’m still somehow

    the naive gay who sees them as Dating Apps – maybe it’s all the musicals, or Julia Roberts movies I’ve seen, that have convinced me love comes first and always wins in the end. However, here’s the truth, a lot of -and perhaps most – guys don’t view or use these apps in this way. For a lot of guys these apps are more about hooking up than they are about dating, and they’re more about sex than they are about love. This will cause some confusion, and a fair bit of wasted time, in conversations you have with guys you envisage as possible suiters. Yes, there will be those guys who are upfront about it from the get go; they’ll ask for pics, or they’ll send pics, or you’ll be greeted with the stunningly eloquent opening question that is, “top or bttm?” You’ll get used to these guys, and you will even get used to explaining that you’re after a little more than they are. It’s the others that really breed confusion – the ones who talk like they want more, staying full Dr Jeckyll until the night hits and Mr Hyde emerges. Let’s cut to the chase, don’t fall for these guys.

    Secondly, remember to always put safety first. Of course, this comes into play just as much in the bedroom as it does on the apps, but I’m referring to the latter now. Avoid being too open and vulnerable on these Apps, maybe even to the extent of not showing your face in your profile picture – it will definitely help to avoid unplanned chance meetings, after all. Other than that it’s all the usual points, no addresses, of course no banking information, and no deep dark confessions to that faceless torso with glistening abs.

    When it gets to the real world part, which it will on more than a few occasions, listen to what your parents have always told you. Strangers = Dangers. Meet in a public, well lit place – and make sure there are people who know your exact plans, that you keep them updated on all the while, of course. There are going to be couple times you don’t follow these rules and you’re pretty lucky nothing bad actually happens, but just FYI they’re super awkward encounters and not worth all of the risk and worry at all.

    Finally, don’t fall for anyone before actually meeting them – this even goes for the good ones you might find. You’re going to do it, and you’re going to feel stupid. At the end of the day dating apps are like Facebook or any other kind of social media, people show what they want you to see, and hide what they don’t. You can’t fall for a concept of a man.

    Yours sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old (Somewhat Regretful) You

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Coronation Street actor comes out as gay

    Coronation Street actor Rob Mallard has opened up publicly about his sexuality, revealing that he is gay.

    Is Rob Mallard gay?

    Rob Mallard has spoken out about his sexuality for the first time in a revealing interview with Gay Times. He said that he didn’t want to hide who he is, despite being out to his family and friends since he was 17.

    Speaking to GT the actor said that he never planned to keep his sexuality secret, but was fearful that if fans of the show knew that he was gay, they might have trouble believing in his character.

    He said,

    “I never planned to keep it quiet that I was gay. The only concern I had at first was if I’m with a female character, will an audience who knows I’m gay in real life believe it? But that was just my own fears because I do believe they will.”

    The actor revealed that he came out to his family at the age of 17 and he says they immediately accepted him and showed their support.

    The actor plays the son of Ken Barlow in ITV’s long-running soap. He joined the soap last year.

    Coronation Street airs Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights

  • 10 of the best Coming Out films

    10 of the best Coming Out films

    This is a regular subject matter for gay films these days and we have chosen these 10 from right across the spectrum.

    the best coming out as gay films
    CREDIT: Edge of Seventeen / YouTube

    BEGINNERS

    Christopher Plummer’s Oscar-winning turn as newly widowed 75-year-old Hal who declares to Oliver his son (Ewan McGregor) that he is now gay and is determined to make the most of the time he has left. Sweet and very funny.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy On iTunes

    EDGE OF SEVENTEEN

    This sentimental story set in small town America in 1984 teaches High School student Eric that love and sex are not the same things and he almost goes back into the closet. Great period piece, well acted and a neat happy ending.

    Buy On Amazon

    OUT IN THE DARK

    A heartstring-tugging story of forbidden love between an Israeli and a Palestinian in Tel Aviv where the latter risks his life if he comes out to his family. It’s all the more remarkable that after all the horrors the pair goes through, that the overwhelming feeling that one comes away with from this film, is of hope.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy On iTunes

    IN THE NAME OF

    A remarkable and unpredictable drama that deals with a repressed Polish Catholic priest’s personal struggle with his homosexuality. Brave, controversial and extremely moving: it worn a prestigious Teddy Award for best LGBT film at Berlinale.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy On iTunes

    MIXED KEBAB

    Bram a good looking Belgian/Turkish 20-year-old gets thrown out of his family home in Antwerp when he comes out, although his father is happy to house his other sons who are crooks, which is far better than being gay. An intelligent drama that becomes an entertaining romance.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy On iTunes

    WHITE FROG

    Nick, the youngest son of a wealthy Chinese/American family tries to put the pieces together of his older brother’s life after he was tragically killed in a car crash and discovers that he had wanted to ‘come out’ to him before he had died. Very endearing.

    Buy On Amazon

    FREE FALL

    In this hot and steamy German tale, one straight trainee policeman discovers that probably shouldn’t be getting married to his pregnant girlfriend after all, when he has a very physical relationship with one of his colleagues. Very well written, and beautifully acted.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy On iTunes

    CIRCUMSTANCE

     

    This coming-of-age story tells of two teenage girls, who are best friends, dealing with all the restrictions of growing up in Iran today. The girls are exploring their emerging sexuality as they become part of Tehran’s underground party scene. Superb, if not scary, look at some of the conflicts and struggles in contemporary Iran.

    Buy On Amazon | Buy On iTunes

    BEAUTIFUL THING

    From 1996 this wonderful British film version of Jonathan Harvey’s hit play about two gay teenagers finding themselves and each other in a Council Estate in London.

    Buy On Amazon

    THE WAY HE LOOKS

    An award-winning Brazilian film about a blind school boy and his virginal innocent friend who are slow to realise their feelings for each other. Tender, with some neat touches of humour … We predict that you will so fall in love with this one when you see it.

    Buy On Amazon

    List compiled by Roger Walker-Dack in July 2014.

  • Dear Closeted-Me… What would you tell your closeted self before you came out?

    What would you tell your closeted self before you came out if you had the chance?

    However you decided to come out… “It will all be okay in the end”

    Dear Closeted-Me,

    This is a difficult letter to write; not because I don’t know what to say – future you always knows what to say – rather because I know how scared and lost you are feeling right now. At the moment you’re at the very end of a long and dark tunnel, the light is just ahead of you, tauntingly close, yet terrifyingly far. Yet, I’m here, surrounded by many LGBT brothers and sisters who have been exactly where you are right now, and Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres, and I, would like to chorus you with another message of “It will all be okay in the end”.

    The fact of the matter is that you’ve already been through the hardest part of this journey. You’ve done all the leg-work – figuring out who you are, hiding who you are, and accepting who you are, all being key steps along the way. Now you’re finding yourself at the final step, and it’s potentially the biggest, the Neil Armstrong of steps if you will.

    Coming Out can feel terrifying. It’s like there’s a bomb formed of glitter, and rainbows, and pride waiting to go off inside of you. As fun as that bomb might sound, you’re probably going to struggle to get past the fact that it’s still a bomb in its truest form – and bombs have a fairly sturdy reputation of ruining things. You’re going to be scared that this truth is going to destroy well-formed friendships and tear apart your family, I mean, we’ve all heard the unfortunate stories, after all.

    Thankfully those stories seem fewer and further between one another nowadays, it is 2016 after all, so anyone who does have an issue with absolutely anyone coming out can jump right back up into their own arsehole where that opinion belongs – and you can feel free to send them my way if you want me to tell them that myself.

    Still, it’s a worrisome, tiring, and anxiety-filled time for you so let’s get right back to the point that there is nothing to be afraid of. A big point of advice, stop fretting so much about how you do it. Trust me, you’re the only one who thinks it will matter if people get the News through a letter, an open status, or a big gay rainbow cake. Just find a way that enables you to remain comfortable and in control, and go for it.

    Sure, you might not want to take advice from someone who came out via a very subtle post-it note, but that’s your decision.

    I found the least scary way to do it for myself and I did it because that is exactly where I was at that point. Also, never forget that this is all for you. This is your truth, and your life, so it is up to you entirely how you do it, when you do it, and how many people you do it to (pun intended).

    You might come out to everyone at once, or a few people at a time, hell, there might even be some people you never come out to.

    Remember, however, you want to do it, it’s fine – and it really will all be okay in the end.

    Welcome to the team, kid.

    Sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old You, Ellen, and Neil
    (But really just you.)

  • Dear 13-year-old me… What would you say to your 13-year-old self?

    What would you say to your 13-year-old self if you had the chance?

    CREDIT: bigstock-soupstock
    CREDIT: bigstock-soupstock

    Dear Thirteen-Year-Old Me,

    There is potentially never a more shaping time in ones life than the torturous years of teenagehood. If 80’s movies have taught me anything it’s that everyone deserves their very own coming of age story. Ideally we’d all get our own Molly Ringwald moments as a teenager – we’d kiss over cake, or bond through detention, or maybe we’d own our very own collection of questionably embellished bowler hats. However, being Molly Ringwald isn’t as easy as it seems, in fact for most of us – especially when we identify as part of the LGBT community – we rarely happen to get the teenage coming of age story we truly deserve.

    I understand you are currently struggling through your very own version of hell on earth – minus all of the actual flames, of course. You’re struggling with your sexuality like so many have before you, and I am writing to warn you of what is to come. You’ll soon be entering the second stage of your senior school career. The first stage was realising that you might, actually, possibly, be kind of gay. Next you are going to spend a long time hoping – and literally praying – that you aren’t, a fairly wasted effort when everyone else already seems so certain that you are. Then, for an even longer time, you are going to play one of the least convincing roles ever, the role of a straight boy. Seriously, the time that you played Mayor’s Assistant #1 in your year six production of Rocky Horror was more convincing – and that wasn’t even a real role.

    Throughout all of these stages one thing will remain present and consistent all the way, and that is how alone and isolated you will feel. You’ll believe that no one else has ever felt, or worried, or been bullied the same way ever before, and this is most definitely not the case.

    Hindsight is honestly 20/20, much like it’s a cold-hearted bitch, but I’ve learnt a lot since my teenage years, so allow me to bestow some wisdom onto you – you awkward and quiet baby gay.

    Firstly, It gets better, you’ll no doubt hear this a million times throughout your life, but that makes it no less true. Year on year since coming out I have personally found life has kept getting better for me, so by no means assume that where you are now is where you’ll be forever. I don’t want to fall into the rhythm of a long-winded and overtly rambled speech on the importance of being oneself – especially when it can all too often feel like the entire world is pushing against you to be someone else. However, please try to be you. Closed-minded people will always find issues with change and difference – and while we may know that whom we love makes absolutely no difference to who we are as people, those kinds of bigots will always struggle to understand that. Trust me, in the long run you’re going to regret pretending to be someone else much more than you could ever regret being true to yourself.

    When it comes to the actual bullies I’m going to borrow a few words from the founder of TheGayUK, Jake Hook, have “the bravery to confront them,” know “that when you push back that bullies rarely know how to respond and once you’ve taken away the power of their words they get bored and move on.”

    I think he, like many other members of the LGBT community, would agree with me when I say, “Screw the haters, be proud and be brave”.

    One final thing, remember you’re not alone. You are a part of a huge, loud and supportive community that all know exactly what you’re going through because most of them have already been there themselves.

    You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. You’ll be grand. You’ll be gay.

    Sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old You