THEGAYUK

Tag: Sexual Health

The latest news from the world of sexual health. Everything you needed to know about gay sexual health. If you’ve got a question don’t forget to ask our experts.

  • ADVICE | I Was Drunk And He Barebacked Me Can I Get PEP?

    In our latest letter to our online clinic, one reader asks about getting PEP or Post-exposure prophylaxis after having bareback sex.

    I Was Drunk And He Barebacked Me Can I Get PEP?

    Dear TGUK,
    I recently hooked up with a guy I know to be promiscuous, we got drunk and he ended up f**king me bareback and I had some blood down there the next day. I’m desperate to get PrEP, as even though he says he’s HIV negative, how can I be sure? I don’t normally take risks, but this time I slipped up.
    Please help!
    Sam (name changed)

     

    Hi Sam,

    If you’re worried about your status you should visit a sexual health clinic right away or an A&E department, who also can prescribe the Post-exposure prophylaxis drugs (PEP). It is a course of drugs which lasts up to 28 days. It is effective at stopping the HIV virus up 72 hours after exposure.

    You will need to explain to the doctors why you think you need the treatment and they will assess the likelihood of your exposure to the virus.

    Bareback sex carries high risk to HIV exposure, but also to a variety of other infections, which can all be very nasty and may not show symptoms. You say that the guy said that he was HIV negative, but when was the last time he was tested and was he telling the truth? You can never be sure, which is why it’s important for you to take responsibility for your own health. If he’s had unprotected sex with you and you say he’s known for being promiscuous the likelihood of him having unprotected sex with others is very high.

    Make sure you ask your doctor or sexual health professional about the side-effects of PEP.

    As for the blood you mentioned, the anus is filled with veins and delicate capillaries, which can get damaged during sex. You may want to check that you don’t have piles and if you do there are many over the counter remedies for these. If you’re worried or concerned see your GP.

    Remember unless you 100% trust someone wrap it up.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

    ALSO READ: Why does my foreskin smell?

    ALSO READ: Do I wank too much?

     

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

     

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • ADVICE | I Had An Unprotected Blowjob: Can I get HIV?

    ADVICE | I Had An Unprotected Blowjob: Can I get HIV?

    A young reader asks if he can catch HIV from a quick blowjob from an ex.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK
    Me and a former boyfriend had partial sex several months ago. We performed hand jobs on one another and he gave me a blowjob. The blowjob wasn’t long (only four sucks) and I didn’t cum. However, as a hypochondriac I’m concerned about HIV. Prior to sex I asked him if he had sex before. He had sex only once in the past and it was only mutual masturbation and fellatio. My parents won’t let me take a test because it would worsen my health anxiety. But should I be worried?

    Joe 16,

    Hello Joe

    Thank you for writing to us with your worries, it sounds as though you had a very low-risk encounter with your ex. Oral sex is considered a low-risk activity for catching HIV, especially if you’re on the receiving end of the BJ. However it’s not just HIV that you have to consider here. Other nasties like Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be passed on by both receiver and giver, and might not even show symptoms, however all these infections can be treated effectively, if caught soon enough.

    If you are worried you should make an appointment to go to a clinic, or just pop along to a walk-in clinic. There are some amazing services – and now, there’s even an online clinic called S24, where you can take tests at home and have the results sent to your mobile phone, Google it.

    If your parents are standing in your way of getting a health check maybe you need to have a conversation with them about your worries, however at 16 you can go to a clinic by yourself you have the right to be treated confidentially.

    Hand-jobs and mutual masturbation are very safe activities, as long as you keep bodily fluids such as semen away from open cuts or sores. If you’re worried in future you can use condoms during oral, and there are even flavoured ones to try.

    Visiting a sex health clinic is an important part of life, taking responsibility for your health and for others you’re having sex with. Making regular visits every six months to once a year is suggested if you’re sexually active.

    So don’t delay and more importantly try not to worry yourself too much.

    Did you know you can order an at-home HIV test online? Click here to buy one

     

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    The advice given in this article is for guidance only and you should always seek your own independent, professional medical advice from your own GP if you are concerned about your health.  

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • New, Free 24-Hour Sexual Health Service With Results By Text Is Now Live

    A unique new online sexual health service allows people to test themselves for STIs in the privacy of their own home and get results by text message within seven days.

    (more…)

  • ADVICE | Can We Use Fruit And Veg In Bed?

    ADVICE | Can We Use Fruit And Veg In Bed?

    My boyfriend and I are quite adventurous when it comes to the bedroom and we’re wondering whether we could use fruit and veg and other foods as part of our activities? Is it dangerous to insert things like cucumbers and carrots?

    Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

    Alternatively you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint. To answer your question about carrots and cucumbers, extreme caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or give good grip.

    Many people have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot lodged in their rectums. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

    Oh did I say use lots of lube…

    If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

    It’s best to use implements that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.

    If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. Oh did I say use lots of lube…

  • This Not A Lecture About Safe Sex

    It would be easy to preach.

    At the time of writing this (late November 2014), I’m a man in my early 40’s and as of my last test roughly 3 months ago, I’m HIV negative. So well done me. Do please bear with while I heartily congratulate myself and launch into an impassioned yet slightly smug sermon about the benefits of practicing protected sex.

    Except doing that would make me a hypocrite.

    Because can I say in total honesty that every single time I’ve had penetrative sex in my life it’s always been safe? Nope, I can’t. And this includes one incident that was relatively recent. I like to think I’m well informed, God knows I know the risks and still it happened. Of course ask right now and I will say that it would be a deal breaker for me. I’ve had enough conversations insisting on condoms with potential partners in the past. Plus I seem to recall writing ”safe only” often enough on various hook up site profiles. Which is as close as one can get to going on the record.

    Hell, I even once promoted a men only club night in a straight venue and insisted on safer sex packs because I felt strongly that we should be seen to be being responsible when taking guys 5 quid entry fee on the door. One million social conscious brownie points for me right there.

    So taking that all into account, how come it still happened? Placing the blame on too much alcohol is lazy and frankly not even half the story. So why? Truth be told, we were naked and saying “Stop” to have the condom conversation felt like it would kill the moment dead. And that voice in the back of my head said that it would be okay. Just this once…

    Like I say, it would be easy to lecture. But I would be awfully naive to believe that anyone is going to go away and rethink their sexual behaviour based on anything I write here in a relatively short opinion piece. I’m no saint and certainly no expert on public health. So I am going to speak solely for myself.

    This is what I think now; I hated the fact I put myself in that position. I hated the ”Oh Sh**” feeling the next day and that heightened sense of uncertainty waiting at the drop-in clinic. Most of all I hated the fact I betrayed the memories of the friends I’ve lost, the friends we’ve all lost, through being too drunk and too needy one night. Like I’d learnt nothing.

    To repeat, I speak for no one but myself. We all have our own reasons for marking World Aids Day. For some it is a moment to mourn absent friends and lovers taken too soon. For others it is anger and activism that drives them. We have all read plenty this past year of how there remain far too many parts of the world where the basic human rights of the LGBT community are being eroded to a point of non existence. In the case of our brothers and sisters who are HIV positive, the situation is even more desperate.

    Hell, you can even make a case that a few show up at the vigils to check out cute boys looking sad.

    But whatever the reason, we are there every 1st December in our thousands. And I know why I’m there. It’s a show of love, grief and respect for those that walked before me and fell along the way. And for those who still live every day with the shadow of HIV hovering just in sight.

    And after a couple of moments of stupidity, relief. Pure, simple, selfish, relief.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • STIs, HIV and AIDS To Be Discussed In Secondary Education

    This will help make it clear to schools that every pupil must leave secondary school equipped with knowledge about STIs and specifically about HIV and AIDS.

    However, the Sex Education Forum warns that learning about STIs must not be left to the final years of secondary school, and will only be effective if it builds on earlier learning about how our bodies work, and crucially about relationships. Having sex and relationships education (SRE) in every year of school helps children build up the understanding needed for good sexual health, and ensures that children learn about stigma and challenging prejudice as well as the biological aspects of the transmission, prevention and treatment of STIs including HIV.

    The Sex Education Forum is the national authority on sex and relationships education (SRE).

    The Chair of the Sex Education Forum, Jane Lees said, ‘The curriculum for Key Stage 4 science proposed earlier this year had no reference to sexual health, HIV or AIDS. It is very encouraging that calls from the Sex Education Forum and others have been heeded and the Department for Education has made this important change. Our survey with young people showed that 1 in 4 had not learnt anything about this topic at school. There is an urgent need to remedy this situation and this move by the Department for Education will help. We will continue to campaign for action to make the broader subject of SRE statutory in all schools’.

    Last week, Human rights activist Peter Tatchell called for LGBTI-inclusive sex & relationship education to be statutory in all schools. Saying that sex and relationship education SRE should be made compulsory in all schools.
    One in three gay men diagnosed with HIV in 2012 were in their teens or early twenties, yet 85% of gay and bisexual men receive no information about same-sex relationships in school.

    If you’ve got sexual health questions visit our no excuse project http://www.noexcuse.thegayuk.com or you can call the London Lesbian And Gay Switchboard on 0300 330 0630.

  • ADVICE | How To Last Longer In Bed

    ADVICE | How To Last Longer In Bed

    It’s happened to the best of us. At the worst of times.

    You’re halfway through your performance with a totally hot guy you just met, when without warning your little Mister calls time. Yes, you’ve spaffed your load without warning. The little swimmers are taking a curtain call as you mutter “I’m so sorry, i.. i…” (I mean, what do you say as he’s riving in agony with man juice in his eye….. ‘It Burrrrrnnnns’)

    Here are our top tips to making sure you last longer in the sack.

    1) Homework

    The best part of this lesson is that you get to do homework and as much of it as you like. A wank is a key element to why many men prematurely blow their loads. Why? Well if you train yourself to cum quite quickly when you’re alone, the chances are that you will do exactly the same when you’re with a partner. So next time your palm is dating your dick, work your way up to 15 minutes, 20 minutes and for those who have cocks of rock try 30 minutes.

    How to last longer in bed?
    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Try bringing yourself to the point of no return and stopping. Giving yourself a moment to relax and start again.

    NEXT >>> (go for a second round)

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  • OPINION | Cost The Reason HPV Vaccinations Aren’t Offered To Boys?

    Extending the HPV vaccine to gay men could help the fight against cancer.

    Dr Gillian Prue, lecturer of chronic illness at Queen’s University of Belfast, recently published in the British Medical Journal, that the current girl-only vaccination programme leaves men who have sex with men (MSM) at risk of infection from the human papilloma viruses (HPV).

    HPV is a common virus that has more than a 100 different strains. Some of them being common and relatively harmless with most people having some form of the virus during their lifetime. For most people, it will cause no symptoms and goes away on its own.

    But there are some strains of HPV that can cause changes in the cells of the lining of the mouth and throat as well as the penis and anus, known as high-risk HPVs. These changed cells have an increased risk of becoming cancerous.

    There are also strains of HPV that cause warts and verrucas, most commonly found on the hands, feet, genital area and anus. But can also be found elsewhere on the body.

    The danger with HPV is that it can be easily spread through skin contact, open mouth kissing and certain sexual acts. Infection is common in men and reports of infection have increased in the past two decades with HPV causing 5% of all human cancers.

    In September 2008, a free vaccination has been readily available for young girls aged between 12-13 in the UK with a catch-up programme for girls up to 18. Heterosexual men gain protection from the virus via vaccinated women but gay and bisexual men have no such protection and are therefore at a higher risk of infection.

    But by introducing the vaccination to men, vaccinated men would be protected against non-vaccinated girls and other men.

    Many countries have already introduced the HPV vaccination to boys such as Canada, Australia and the US. Studies have shown that vaccinating boys will produce both health and economic benefits, reducing the incidences of HPV-related genital warts and cancerous cells developing.

    And although gay and bisexual men are at a higher risk of infections, a programme targeted solely at the gay and bisexual men in the UK would be limited because many gay and bisexual men acquire HPV as teenagers and many have already been exposed to HPV already according to Prue. It has also been criticised that such a programme would appear to discriminate against young heterosexual men who are also susceptible to the risk of HPV.

    Last November the Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation agreed to begin work on the possibility of offering the HPV vaccination to adolescent boys and MSM. No doubt the main deterrent for introducing the vaccination will be the cost of the vaccination, estimated to around £24,000,000.

    The most beneficial response to this would be a gender neutral vaccination strategy in schools. Anything else would simply be discriminatory. With the cost of the vaccination paling in comparison to the cost of cancer treatment caused by HPV, it seems like the next logical step in the fight against cancer.

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • OPINION | “Always Wear A Condom” Isn’t Enough

    It’s some thirty years since the AIDS pandemic began to decimate the gay community. Anyone who survived that time, or, like me, watched on in fear, will never forget the very simple message disseminated at the time: Always Wear A Condom.

    How is it then, with such a simple rule to follow, HIV acquisition rates, especially among young gay men, are rising, not falling? Something’s not quite connecting and this was something I wanted to address in This Book Is Gay, the first guide to sex and relationships for young, modern LGBT people.

    It’s my job, I believe, to not sugar-coat or pretty-up sex for young adults. I don’t think that’s helping. So here’s the truth no-one dares utter: Sex feels better without a condom. A contact describes sex with a condom as ‘like wearing a raincoat in the shower’ and he has a point. The new question becomes ‘is sex so much better without a condom, it’s worth gambling your health?’ Of course the answer is NO, but we can’t rule out this most basic of reasons why some gay and bi men choose to eschew condoms.

    That’s not the whole story. The post-pandemic generation was sufficiently scared into condom-compliance regardless of how much better sex might feel. I’d argue poor education is chiefly to blame, and is certainly the impetus behind This Book Is Gay. By this, I mean both school-based sex education and general health messages. Now that there are effective treatments for managing HIV perhaps emphasis has slipped as a public health issue.

    I interviewed a young man who wished to remain anonymous as part of my research. A pupil at a Catholic school, he received very little sex education at all and didn’t feel able to talk to his parents about sex. As such, with little media awareness, he truly believed AIDS was something that affected women in Africa. He tested HIV positive through unprotected sex aged nineteen.

    I don’t know if pornography is to blame, but it certainly doesn’t help. Post AIDS, nearly all gay porn depicted condom use (even if the condom does magically appear, hands-free, seconds before penetration). However, with a little time, bareback fetishism crept into pornography and you don’t have to look far at all to view condom-free porn. And let’s not even get into ‘bug chasing’ – that’s a whole other issue.

    The problem with porn is that it isn’t sex education. If sex education isn’t robust, young people will turn to the internet for advice, and porn provides only fantasy.

    So what can we do to reduce infection rates? I think while we must continue with the Always Wear A Condom mantra – as this is by far the most effective way to halt the spread of any STI and prevention is better than no-actual-cure – we need a second layer of education. Namely: Get Tested A Lot.

    Knowledge is power, and, HIV carriers are at their most infectious when they don’t know they’re carrying the virus. Once a patient is receiving medication, the viral load (the amount of HIV in their system) can be reduced to ‘undetectable’ levels. Basically, they are lot less infectious. If everyone knew their HIV status every time they had sex, I think we could reduce infection rates greatly.

    Guidelines suggest that sexually active gay and bi men (a high risk demographic) should be tested approximately every six months. I would suggest this should be a minimum. A finger-prick HIV test takes five minutes, you can do them yourself at home or at a sexual health clinic. It’s pain-free and the results are instant. When writing This Book Is Gay, the only reason I heard to not get tested was from a man who was simply terrified of the result.

    The next step is likely to be PrEP – Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. High-risk groups in the US are now being given a truncated version of HIV treatment to prevent converting to HIV positive. It’s not a vaccine, however, and it’s only effective if taken routinely. Trials are still underway in this country, but it seems likely to be made available on a voluntary basis soon.

    It’s my hope that This Book Is Gay will help drag HIV into the 21st Century. Young people must be made aware of HIV, the risks, and taught the lessons we learned in the nineties but also how to approach HIV without fear and stigma, but knowledge and protection. As HIV campaigner Kristian Johns so eloquently said: ‘HIV is no longer a death sentence, but it’s one hell of a life sentence.’

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Safer Sex Message Urged Ahead Of Belfast Pride

    Sexual health experts are supporting Belfast Pride, to make sure that everyone taking part in this year’s festival; ‘plays safe and stays safe’. Gay and bisexual men are at particular risk of sexually transmitted infections; latest available statistics from the department of health reveal that rates of gonorrhoea and syphilis in Northern Ireland’s MSM continue to soar.

    To tackle the problem, Belfast Pride has teamed up with Confidante, who have developed the world’s only home test, to detect 10 common STIs. Stephen Henderson, Manager at Confidante, says partnering with Belfast Pride, is about, encouraging men who have sex with men to take action:

    “One of the reasons that men who have sex with men, have such high STI transmission rates, is because they don’t get tested; perhaps they’ve had a bad experience previously; or perhaps they aren’t showing any symptoms – even though they are infected; many STIs are asymptomatic. We are encouraging MSM and everyone taking part in Belfast Pride to be proud of their sexual health, protect both their partner and themselves and to get tested.”

    Seán Ó Néill, Chair of Belfast Pride Festival, is supporting this focus on Sexual Health:

    “This year’s festival is about celebrating Diversity and calling for Equality – and this equality is needed within healthcare services for all citizens including LGBTQ people. We are pleased Confidante is coming on board as a partner of the festival and offering more choice in Sexual Health testing and we are working with them to get the message across to the MSM community in Northern Ireland, in particular, to play safe and stay safe”.

    The safe sexual health message comes ahead of today’s Belfast Pride Parade, 30 thousand people are expected into the city centre to take part in the event.

  • Not Cumming Out – Delayed Ejaculation

    Guys have it hard. Or at least when sex isn’t explosive life can get a bit challenging. Physical intimacy, including penetration, is so enjoyable but when something goes wrong then it can really go wrong.

    You cum too quickly. You can’t get it up. You get it up but it goes down again. You meet a guy you fancy but can’t figure out if he is top or bottom. Then it turns out that you both want the same and neither are prepared to try the other position. He wants to do something you haven’t heard of much less tried.

    But all of the above are more or less well known about. And you’d probably be able to find a mate to talk about it. But there is one sexual issue that remains in the closet – delayed ejaculation (DE). DE is exactly what it says on the label. You have great difficulty in cumming. But why on earth is that a problem? It must be great to be able to shag for hours and not cum. To be able to take on one guy after another. Actually, it’s not all that it’s cut out to be.

    Our fundamental sexual desire is to ejaculate – to spread our seeds. If we don’t achieve that or it takes too long to do so we can get depressed. If we’re in and out of a hole for too long both our cock and partner will get sore. And the likelihood is that he has already cum, maybe even twice. If that’s the case he may begin to feel that there is something wrong with him. Or you begin to think that there is something fundamentally wrong with your techniques and wonder why you can never cum with a guy who really turns you on. In fact DE can cause considerable anxiety, distress and loss of sexual confidence.

    It is estimated that between 2 to 10 percent of men can suffer DE at some time of their lives and there seems to be a trend of it happening more as you get older. It has also been recently observed in men who watch a lot of porn. This could be because you are used to the stimulation that your hand gives or it may be because you are ‘trained’ to react to screen pictures. Because this isn’t a common disorder there is little research on the issue and so practitioners struggle to understand the issues and to help those affected.

    There are believed to be a number of potential causes. Some men have always suffered from DE from puberty. This can mean that they think it normal until they come upon a partner who questions their sexual abilities. DE may be tied in with a strict upbringing, a family who didn’t talk about sex and men who control their lives for a number of reasons but there could be an issue around sexuality acceptance.

    The second type of DE is situation induced. You can be happy squirting your spunk everywhere and then you suddenly find you can’t. There could be a number of reasons. For example how a partner makes you feel; stress at work; fear of penetrating either the anus or a mouth or something happened to you while you were having sex.

    Can it be cured? That depends. In general yes it can be helped but it could mean that you have to retrain your sexual techniques. You may even have to abstain from sex for a period of time including wanking off. The best thing to do is talk either to your GP if you think you have a problem or a counsellor.

    But whatever you do don’t suffer alone. Finding out that you are not the only one with delayed ejaculation is the first step. Accepting that you have a problem is the next. And doing something about it could change your life. Don’t worry GPs and therapists know about delayed ejaculation – you are not alone. Cum out and tell someone.

     

    by Owen Redahan

     

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