5) Write your name with your dick.
Ok, so you’re nearly at the point of no return but it’s only been two minutes! Think about something else. Writing your name in his arse will still give the movements of involved f**king, but will momentarily take you away from the action, meaning you’ll have a few more minutes of humping.
Obviously don’t start mouthing the letters as you scrawl your signature. He may get concerned.