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Tag: Threeways

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  • This is how you can have a threeway and still be on lockdown

    How is your 3-way game? Stats show that most gay men and lots of gay couples have had a threesome at some point, and obviously, with lockdown restrictions hindering the hookup scene, we were interested to discover that you can actually still get the feel of a threeway, even when there’s just the two of you.

    Davey Wavey’s porn studio Himeros.TV recently released a scene between stars Dakota Payne, Taylor Reign and Calvin Bank’s realistic dildo… and we have to say it was hot AF.

    The premise is actually pretty simple, in the video, the couple uses Calvin’s realistic dong (although it could be any dildo, (check out the range from THEGAYSHOP) to simulate a spit roast scenario, with the real guy at the front and a dildo attached to a fuck machine at the back.

    Okay, okay, a fuck machine is the expensive but more realistic option – as the machine does the thrusting, much like a real person. However, if a machine like that is out of your price range, most dildos come with a suction pad on the base, so you can attach it to a wall or mirror if you want to get very kinky – and your bottom can do all the work – a pretty good work out too!

    Don’t forget if you’re using a sizable butt toy, (Calvin Banks’ dildo comes in at 7.75 inches) to use lots of lube. We’ve spoken before about how to play with big toys.

  • This Grindr guy felt the wrath after he criticised someone’s open relationship

    This Grindr guy felt the wrath after he criticised someone’s open relationship

    So, it’s no secret that many gay guys in relationships are also in open relationships or semi-open relationships and many of them use dating apps, such as Grindr to introduce a third/fourth/fifth into their love lives.

    CLICK TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

    Pages: 1 2

  • DILEMMA | My boyfriend wants me to sleep with other people and tell him all about it

    DILEMMA | My boyfriend wants me to sleep with other people and tell him all about it

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months and he has a fantasy he wants to fulfil. He wants me to have sex with someone else as it’s a turn on for him to hear about it or watch it if I film it.

    We are not open, I’m the top and he’s the bottom, but he wants me to have sex with someone else one-on-one without him present. We have had a threesome before together, which is fine because we were both there, but I’m not comfortable emotionally having sex with someone else one-on-one without him present.

    With the threesome it was a one-time thing, again he had a fantasy of me fucking someone in front of him, so we did that and it seems to have satisfied him until now. I’m not opposed to having sex with someone else per se, but he wants me to bottom for someone else which I haven’t done in 6+ months and I find that to be very intimate.

    Even though he says he has no desire to have sex with others, himself, I am also concerned that will change and he’ll use this as a reason if he wants to do it, himself. I am also worried about what this would mean for our relationship. I do not want to be open, I would consider this a one time experiment, but once you open Pandora’s Box, you don’t know what could happen.

    Can you advise if this is a healthy fantasy, what it means, and what you think would happen if I go through with it? Thanks!

    Dear Oliver

    I think you’re right about it being Pandora’s Box, once you’ve opened up your relationship it can be quite hard to close the lid – unless both of you are totally in agreement.

    It seems to me that you’re not both on the same page at this point. You’ve only been together for six months – understanding your partner’s wants and needs takes time and visa versa.

    As it stands, it seems he wants you to have sex with people outside of the relationship, effectively opening up your relationship, while you’re happy to have a little opening – but not a wide-open door. At the moment you’re both on a different scale on how open your relationship is.

    I would schedule some time to talk and get on the same page.

    You both need to make clear what your boundaries are and how far you’re willing to go and what your fears are. But remember that all relationships need a certain amount of compromise – the questions is – are the compromises that you offer each other the ones you’re willing to make?

    Of course, compromises should never be so extreme that you’re ultimately in danger or unhappy. Compromises surrounding sexual and mental health issues need to be taken off the table. You’re allowed to say “I’m not comfortable with that”.

    Compromises surrounding sexual and mental health issues need to be taken off the table. You’re allowed to say “I’m not comfortable with that”.

    You’ve also talked about how things are a “one time experiment” the trouble is that way of thinking can be very limiting. People change, tastes change, expectations change. You might find that you really enjoy doing a particular activity – should it only be a one-time thing, if you’re both into it?

    If you can, I’d go in with an open mind and with an open dialogue. Check-in with each other to see how you’re both doing.

    As for the fantasy element, almost all fantasies are healthy, but it’s how, when and why you act upon them, which can lead to something being amazing or very unhealthy.

    As long as you’re both open and honest with each other about the why’s, how’s and when’s then relax, have some fun.

    It’s your relationship, you both get to decide on the parameters – no one else.

    If it isn’t fun or safe, then stop.

    Remember if you’re opening up your relationship, or thinking about having sex without condoms, consider talking to your local sexual health clinic about PrEP, getting vaccinations for Hepatitis and HPV.

    Have you got a dilemma or sexual health question? Click here to ask our team.

  • How open is your relationship?

    How open is your relationship?

    It’s not really unusual for gay and bi guys to open up their relationships…

    (C) BELAMI

    Sometimes what we do in our own community might seem strange to those outside it, like this straight-identified man who took to Reddit to ask whether it was normal for gay guys to have open relationships after his gay friend confided in him that he was getting bored of married life after just one year and decided to have a threesome.

    Reddit gays were on hand to let him know that it’s not that uncommon that gay couples, but not always, to open up their relationships – to differing degrees.

    So what are those degrees of an open relationship?

    The door has a keyhole

    makamuki0 / Pixabay

    Where a couple might talk or fantasise about having a threesome or a four-way with another couple. It’s on the table, the discussion is happening, maybe they even watch threesome porn together, but they’re not physically committed yet.

    The door is open a crack

    neshom / Pixabay

    There’s the casual threeway, where you both agree on the same person and are both involved. The couple sets up a date and go for it together.

    The screen door

    http://gty.im/6262-000289

    This is where a couple regularly has three ways, four ways or even attend orgies. They are okay with their partner having sex with other people and don’t necessarily have to be involved, as long as they are in the same room or building or event and have both agreed to the sex that is happening outside the relationship.

    The stable door

    455992 / Pixabay

    Both parties of a relationship are “allowed” to go play with other people, but it’s strictly “don’t ask don’t tell” and “not in our bed”.

    The door is wide open

    Pexels / Pixabay

    This is where the couple is open and honest about having sex with other people. There still may be rules attached to the sex, like condoms only, but generally, both parties in the relationship are happy about their partner having sex with someone else. The line would be drawn at creating an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship.

    The Truple (the swing door??)

    I can’t take the door analogy any further but the truple is where a couple decides to open their relationship in all senses, sexually and emotionally and allow a third to become part of the family.

    So what do you think? Are you open to an open relationship?

  • Is it common for gay guys to have open relationships?

    Is it common for gay guys to have open relationships?

    Is it unusual for gay and bi guys who are in relationships to open it up?

    (C) BELAMI

    Sometimes what we do in our own community might seem strange to those outside it, like this straight-identified man who took to Reddit to ask whether it was normal for gay guys to have open relationships after his gay friend confided in him that he was getting bored of married life after just one year and decided to have a threesome.

    Reddit gays were on hand to let him know that it’s not that uncommon that gay couples, but not always, to open up their relationships – to differing degrees.

    So what are those degrees of an open relationship?

    The door has a keyhole

    Where a couple might talk or fantasise about having a threesome or a four-way with another couple. It’s on the table, the discussion is happening, maybe they even watch threesome porn together, but they’re not physically committed yet.

    The door is open a crack

    There’s the casual threeway, where you both agree on the same person, set up a date and go for it.

    The screen door

    This is where a couple regularly has three ways, four ways or even attend orgies. They are okay with their partner having sex with other people and don’t necessarily have to be involved, as long as they are in the same room or building or event.

    The stable door

    Both parties of a relationship are “allowed” to go play with other people, but it’s strictly “don’t ask don’t tell” and “not in our bed”.

    The door is wide open

    This is where the couple is open and honest about having sex with other people. There still may be rules attached to the sex, like condoms only,  but generally, both parties in the relationship are happy about their partner having sex with someone else. The line would be drawn at creating an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship.

    The Truple (the swing door??)

    I can’t take the door analogy any further but the truple is where a couple decides to open their relationship in all senses, sexually and emotionally and allow a third to become part of the family.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    So, is it common?

    So going back to the Reddit guy – what was he asking? Well, he asked the AskGayMen community whether it was more common for amongst gay, married men to have threesomes, get bored of their relationships or play away dates with other guys.

    Here’s what Reddit had to say on the matter of open relationships amongst gay men.

    Really quite common

    It’s actually way more common for gay men to have open relationships than it is for straight couples. [VIA]

    Gay people are just, in general, more open about it with each other, whereas straight people often just cheat on each other.

    I think the gay way of doing things is a lot better. Pure sexual monogamy clearly doesn’t work for many people, and it’s nice to be able to be honest about it with my partner instead of lying to each other and destroying each others’ trust. [VIA]

    Maybe not about being bored

    I can’t speak for every gay man but for me I know I would love a threesome or even more. I think more context is needed around the “bored” part. Is he bored in general or just bored in the bedroom? [VIA]

    Open doors

    Most of the gay couples I know have open / semi-open relationships. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and are mostly monogamous but allow each other to have rare, limited things on the side. [VIA]

    Not a red flag

    The threeway isn’t a red flag. Pretty common. The “bored” comment is a red flag. After more than ten years, I’m still more entertained by six hours of silence in a car next to my spouse than I am by five minutes alone. [VIA]

    Our own rules

    Don’t worry about it – gays have their own rules. [VIA]

    So what do you think? Are you open to an open relationship?

  • DILEMMA | My boyfriend keeps hooking up with our threesome guy, without me

    DILEMMA | My boyfriend keeps hooking up with our threesome guy, without me

    What happens when your boyfriend won’t stop hooking up with the lad from your last threeway and doesn’t invite you?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    My boyfriend keeps seeing a guy that we had a threesome with. This is even after I told him that I’m not cool or comfortable with it. I’ve told him straight to his face. I don’t have the courage to tell the other guy to knock it off.

    I really don’t know what to do. I love my boy and I’m sure he loves me but it hurts me that he’s insisting on seeing this other guy, outside of a threeway.

    What should I do?

    We asked two of our contributors to give their advice.

    Lee Henriques, writer

    First I’ve gotta ask – is this an open relationship? Do you normally allow a regular hookup/no strings attached situation between the two of you or is this guy someone your partner’s made an exception for?

    If it’s the latter, and it bothers you this much, it sounds cliché and obvious but you have to communicate your feelings. If you don’t, it’s going to build and become an even worse situation – but it’s a little confusing as to why he’s insisting on hooking up with this person in the first place; maybe ask him if he’d like to open the relationship (if it’s not already) or if you’d be interested, perhaps broach the topic of sharing your sexual experiences with a third person.

    It could benefit the both of you but make your boundaries clear. What’s bothering you the most? Is it the fact he’s hooking up with someone else or the fact that that person is someone you’ve both hooked up with in the first place?

    Communication and honesty are the key pillars of any relationship (thanks Cosmo) and if you’re uncomfortable you have to let him know. He probably wouldn’t want you being uncomfortable and keeping it bottled inside and if you love each other then you can make it work. It sounds like it’s just sex so maybe the other guy won’t even mind and will look elsewhere but if it continues and they both ignore your wishes, it’s hard to do but maybe re-evaluate the kind of relationship you want vs. the relationship you’re in.

    Hope this has helped – I’d love an update!

    Tom Driver, The Knee Jerk Columnist

    I don’t really see things like other people so if my interpretation of the situation is “off point” please forgive me.

    I read that you are threatened by this situation and suspect you may know why! As you have both hooked up with this guy in the past I guess you know what happens when he gets together with another man and will have an insight into what it is your bf sees in him.

    So I guess the resolution is can you do that for your bf and cut this third person out? Or are there similarities between him and you that identify the type of person your bf goes for and this is ringing alarm bells in your head?

    My other thought on it is the boundaries of your relationship and whether you are lacking the confidence to negotiate/set/impose them? It can be relationship changing to appear either dominant and insistent or insecure and frankly, this could appear to be both and more.

    Got to be honest fella, if the other guy has a heart and you know him I would be speaking to him and asking him to put himself in your shoes and show some respect for you and your relationship.

    In the final analysis: men like men and men like cock. All of that is tangible and real, relationships between men are based on the intangibles of love and trust, if that isn’t there then perhaps your bf is subtlety letting you know it’s time for you to look elsewhere too.

    Jake Hook, Editor

    Ultimately you should find out why your boyfriend wants to continue this other relationship without you. A future of any sort of relationship with him really does come down to this – and whether you’re prepared to accept the answer.

    What exactly is making you uncomfortable about his third-party hookups, because when you dig down to the root of your feelings, you’ll have your answer on what to do next.

    If he is set on continuing this relationship, you really only have three options. Dump, Live with it or Thruple it. Have you thought about opening the relationship as a thruple? If you’re all up for it it could be a beautiful addition to your life. Some people can make this work, but you will need a certain level of maturity, trust and open-mindedness.

     

     

    Have you got advice? Give it in the comments below.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like us to advise you on? Click here to leave us your question.

  • 12 guys have real threeway game, we’re impressed

    The game was definitely on.


    We asked some of our readers about their three-way experience, needless to say, us gay guys are having a fair bit of threesome activity!

    Diary time

    “Every other weekend mostly good occasionally embarrassing” – Tristan

    “Have had many 3somes always have a good hot time Have at least once a month” – Phil

    The biting… oh the biting

    “…It was with two friends after a night out and I suggested that we had a threesome, however, me and my other friend wasn’t attracted to the other guy yet he wanted to do most of the work. Terrible at giving BJs as he kept biting me and my other friend so in the end we never finished because the thrill sort of speak went…

    “At least I found out that I don’t like to be spit roasted.  Plus it was in a caravan outside my parent’s house. So everyone could hear.”- Marcus

    The couple and the unicorn

    “It was actually quite fun! My last one was two men who were a couple. Their agreement was that they would never have an open relationship but will have sex with other people when both of them were present at that party. I was tempted to try double penetration but at the end didn’t dare!!!!” – Raha

    Poly relationship…

    “Good. It was fun, we all had a laugh, all very open-minded. Cuddled till we fell asleep. Then spent a few months in a poly relationship.” – Ian

    On one hand

    “Was horrible, one bloke nice & the other not my type, I was feeling jealous of the nice one all the time, never want that again.” – Michael

    Why stop at 3?

    “Yes and every number up to twenty.” – Roger

    Oh, the politics of it all…

    “Quite a few and I find its better if all 3 are single rather than a couple plus 1 extra” – Simon

    “Yes in the past but in a lot of cases 1 person loses out. Not that’s everyone’s experience.” – Norrin

    A&E?

    “We ended up in A&E. The position we were in led to an accident, one broken arm, stitches in head and a badly bruised hip. The staff tried not to laugh at us, but they found it funny.” – Simon

    Me party

    “Frequently. Me, myself and I.” – Andy

    • Some comments may have been changed for grammatical or clarity reasons.