It's not really unusual for gay and bi guys to open up their relationships...

It’s not really unusual for gay and bi guys to open up their relationships…


Sometimes what we do in our own community might seem strange to those outside it, like this straight-identified man who took to Reddit to ask whether it was normal for gay guys to have open relationships after his gay friend confided in him that he was getting bored of married life after just one year and decided to have a threesome.

Reddit gays were on hand to let him know that it’s not that uncommon that gay couples, but not always, to open up their relationships – to differing degrees.

So what are those degrees of an open relationship?

The door has a keyhole

makamuki0 / Pixabay

Where a couple might talk or fantasise about having a threesome or a four-way with another couple. It’s on the table, the discussion is happening, maybe they even watch threesome porn together, but they’re not physically committed yet.

The door is open a crack

neshom / Pixabay

There’s the casual threeway, where you both agree on the same person and are both involved. The couple sets up a date and go for it together.

The screen door

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This is where a couple regularly has three ways, four ways or even attend orgies. They are okay with their partner having sex with other people and don’t necessarily have to be involved, as long as they are in the same room or building or event and have both agreed to the sex that is happening outside the relationship.

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The stable door

455992 / Pixabay

Both parties of a relationship are “allowed” to go play with other people, but it’s strictly “don’t ask don’t tell” and “not in our bed”.

The door is wide open

Pexels / Pixabay

This is where the couple is open and honest about having sex with other people. There still may be rules attached to the sex, like condoms only, but generally, both parties in the relationship are happy about their partner having sex with someone else. The line would be drawn at creating an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship.

The Truple (the swing door??)

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I can’t take the door analogy any further but the truple is where a couple decides to open their relationship in all senses, sexually and emotionally and allow a third to become part of the family.

So what do you think? Are you open to an open relationship?

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