THEATRE REVIEW | Bitches Ahoy!, Above The Stag

★★★★ | Bitches Ahoy! : Above The Stag

Batten down the hatches, all hands on your AussieBums, and anchors – prudes advised to stay on dry land – aweigh.

Bitches Ahoy review
CREDIT: Above The Stag

Gareth, Max and Fat Pam set sail for a new adventure on the Mediterranean awash with a couple of love interests in close-quarters.  This is up-and-coming Playwright Martin Blackburn’s second production – an all-at-sea sequel to Aright Bitches! – and in Blackburn’s previous style: pummelled with more innuendos than a Navy Officer in the engine room after six months at sea.

Buoyant party-buoy Gareth (Ethan Chapples) is holibobing with new squeeze Drew (Chris Clynes), and giving monogamy a stern-go onboard a queer cruise with two thousand homo-hotties – will either walk the plank of infidelity?  Nothing’s ever plain-sailing on this ship.

Max has embarked on a new career as a cabin boy with a firm eye in every porthole and a love/hate taste for his surroundings. Pam (Hannah Vesty) has harpooned the Moby of all Dicks and flaunts new French fiancé Patrice (Simon Burr) from port to starboard causing a splash with the whole crew’s rudders. Straight guy aboard a gay cruise – what could possibly come adrift?

Blackburn clearly knows how to quill a boat-rocking quip, but on this voyage, some of the jokes were washed ashore unnoticed, mainly due to the delivery.

Come aboard this vessel for cock-capers, tampon-tomfoolery and to catch a glimpse of Pam wet wiping her lady bits.  This is a camp factor 50 with the potent UVAs radiating from Vesty and Chapples  – giving you the Jolly Rogers and the January blues the heave-ho.

 


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Bitches Ahoy is at Above The Stag Theatre until 26th February

Thabian Sutherland

I’ve lived in the Old Smoke since 1999 with a career in fashion, fitness and events. I discovered the joys of writing beginning of 2014. Since then I’ve been tapping digits to keys. Subjects include food, theatre, exhibitions, London life and other topics that tickle my taste-buds. Other publications include Timeout, Gay Times and So So Gay Magazine.

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Thabian Sutherland

Thabian Sutherland

I’ve lived in the Old Smoke since 1999 with a career in fashion, fitness and events. I discovered the joys of writing beginning of 2014. Since then I’ve been tapping digits to keys. Subjects include food, theatre, exhibitions, London life and other topics that tickle my taste-buds. Other publications include Timeout, Gay Times and So So Gay Magazine.