Tango used to be a dance, then it was a drink and now, it’s word to describe the tans of those who aren’t in the know.

So here at THEGAYUK we’ve tried the best and the worst – the good and the bad. We’ve been shades of adonis and shades of wallpaper from the 70s. Here are our top choices.

MAKE BELIEVE
MakeBelieve Airbrush Bronzer has to be one of the best, if not THE BEST fake bake I have ever tried. What attracted me was the fact I hadn’t seen it advertised anywhere before with the ubiquitous 74% of 30 people agreed statement – which always makes me steer clear. Once home it was simple to apply and the colour is actually a tan colour. Of course, you have to make sure you prepare your skin, but it’s a far cry away from the 3 bottle systems some fan tans require.

A little pricey for the size of the bottle – you don’t get too many coats for your cash, but the colour and ease of use puts it in my top 3.

St. Tropez

No fake tan review would be complete without the ever-present St Tropez. The tanning system that revolutionised the fake bake. It was the first tanning lotion that actually gave you the colour of holiday and not the colour of several E numbers.

There are several steps to the perfect St. Tropez tan, but lets face it how many people actually use steps 1 and 2? My advice is stick to the moose and make sure you’re not flaky before applying.

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One of the problems is the drying time – which is lengthy, so I used to do it before I went to bed, usually to wake up with brownish stains on my bedding. Never attractive.

TESCO TAN

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I know what you’re thinking, the mans gone mad, but bear with me! This was a little gem I found when I was student all those years ago, back in the days when I was dancing and prancing. Cheap – check, tan colour – check, easy application – check. Streaks when sweating – surprisingly resistant!

No tricks just old fashion slap it on fake tan. Tesco’s proves you don’t need to spend over £30 in order to get a good colour. In fact you don’t need to spend a tenth of that! From all the tans I’ve ever ended up using – the Tesco own fake tan, was always the one that got me compliments – and as we know – every little helps.

About the author: Jake Hook
The editor and chief of THEGAYUK. All in a previous life wrote and produced songs on multi-platinum records.