From a young age we are conditioned on what is right and wrong, but how does that work for the modern day gay man? With many embracing their sexuality in many different ways it is important to remember that we still represent the LGBT community and there are many things we shouldn’t be doing:
1. Calm down dear, it’s only a commercial
I remember being on a night out where the music was good. It was nearing the end of the night and Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” began to play. I was standing harmlessly next a gentleman in his late forties who began screaming like a twelve-year-old girl. There’s no need for dramatics, and no need to scream.
2. You are not a Barbie girl living in a Barbie world
I have strong judgement towards those who wear bad makeup. I understand it is a personal choice and it isn’t a problem if you do, but keep it clean and under control. You shouldn’t have foundation on your chest or neck as it does rub on your clothes when you’re dancing around and it is noticeable.
3. The bigger they are, the harder they fall
I am not a size queen, but it does annoy me that in modern society everybody is more interested in what is in your pants than in your heart. I remember having a conversation over text with a baker. After asking for a picture of his cake he thought I was dyslexic and had spelt cock wrong.
Lesbians don’t bite. What do you think they are hiding down there? A gnome? They have as much right to celebrate sexuality as anyone else. My friend recently dated another girl whose arms were so big she could pick me up like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing – amazing.
5. You can’t pull off plastic
I don’t and never have understood the cliques of the gay world. Can’t we all just bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy? This isn’t Mean Girls and you are not Regina George.
6. Blow kisses, not boys
If you make out you’re a slut by kissing various guys throughout the night and bragging about it, it only makes it okay for other guys to call you a slut. Keep it classy and no one will judge.
7. Snap Happy
If you want to act like you’re in an episode of Will and Grace, be my guest. Just please don’t think it is okay to snap your fingers at others in rest rooms or smoking areas with a catchphrase such as ‘Hey girlfriend’.
8. Darling, you cannot act straight
How many profiles have you seen with ‘straight acting’ on them. Firstly, if you are using a dating application/website aimed at homosexual men and women then you are in the wrong place. Are you looking for someone to pretend to be straight for you?
9. If you want money, date Scrooge McDuck
A lot of people seem to be obsessed with money. Personally, I have never found money attractive and couldn’t imagine sleeping on a bed of thin paper notes. It doesn’t matter what your annual income is or what label clothes you wear. It is all about the personality.
10. Finally, just be you
I think along the lines of trying to fit in with a stereotypical gay world we forget who we are. For years we have been fighting for gay rights, and for people to celebrate their sexuality. Don’t let that put you down, stand up.
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