60 SECOND FILM REVIEW | Star Wars Rogue One30th December 2016
ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY – Completely separate stand-alone Star Wars movie with all new characters telling the story that leads right up to the split second the original classic started back in 1977 when Leia leads the plans into R2D2 and Darth bursts through that door.
Nutshell – The Empire is developing an ultimate weapon thought to be a planet killer which we of course we know becomes the Death Star. The Rebels have a plan to stop it which involves stealing its original plans which all goes well until Darth Vader turns up and then people start dying… an awful lot of people.
Running Time – 133 minutes; Certificate – 12A
Tagline – ‘Save The Rebellion, Save The Dream’
The Gay UK Factor – Loads of hot guys in uniforms makes for a good starting place. The second Star Wars in a row to have a female lead but this time we have a very sexy guy at her side in the form of the hottest Mexican you have ever seen Diego Luna playing Cassian Andor and boy does that tight rebel uniform sticks to him in all the right places – we wonder if all the other stormtroopers & rebels are also horse-hung as he appears to be.
Cast – Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Adam Tudyk plus some major stars like Forest Whitaker, Mads Mikkelsen, Jimmy Smits and the very f**kable Ben Mendelsohn plus Peter Cushing and others photoshopped in for Seventies memory jerks.
Key Player – The Star Wars saga has produced the best three robots in cinema history – time to meet number Four. K2SO is a Seven-foot new favourite and this robot seems as though he has been a regular performer down the Comedy Store for ages – you will laugh a lot.
Budget – $200 Million the second biggest of the year and it is expected to make four times that back at least as there is little competition in theatres at present and it is only 11 months until the next one….Kerching !
Best Bit – 1.50 mins; Two of the main characters have to climb up a giant indoor tower in a control room under fire in the best action sequence in the movie – all very exciting, time is running out fast and will they both survive?
Worst Bit – 0.31 mins; With all new characters, it takes a bit of time to get going and there is a lot of introductions and expositions required. This is most apparent in a drawn out prison scene when you have really come to see lazer duels and starship battles.
Little Secret – The inside of the Death Star was filmed at Canary Wharf underground station outside of normal hours. The most famous scene in the trailer where the lead female character on a platform comes face to face with a Tie fighter is not in the movie at all surprisingly but will be on the DVD release in 2017
Further Viewing – Star Wars 1 – 7 are basic canon for the enjoyment of this also try Star Trek 1-13, Battlestar Galactica, Independence Day, The Black Hole and a million other spaceship battle movies that have become big-screen staples or anything with loads of sword battles like say Game of Thrones before it became repetitive.
Any Good – This is very impressive stuff and with a tonne of surprises linked with a multitude of nostalgia and throwbacks to earlier (or later) films. The British director breaks a lot of rules here yet sticks to the standard plot build up of the recent SW movies. This will make megabucks and deservedly so and now we head into the Fortieth Anniversary year with the biggest movie yet on the horizon and one a year guaranteed from now on so it’s good times if you feel the force and bad news if you prefer Poldark, Grantchester and Downton type snore bores.
Rating – 86% out of a hundred (That’s 10% up from the Force Awakens)