CREDIT: © oneinchpunch Depositphotos
CREDIT: © oneinchpunch Depositphotos

Dates can be really awkward, so next time you’re on one, do yourself a favour and leave these little gems out of the conversation.

7- Perhaps don’t talk about your plethora of exes.

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I had this happen to me once, listening to this guy’s tragic catalogue of past romances. Yet the thing is he only had good things to say about them. I ended up sitting there for 20 minutes hearing all about this bloke’s old boyfriend, “James”.

“James always knew what to get me for Christmas; I didn’t even need to HINT!”

“James made the best brunches”

“James always had loads of money”

It was a dreadful date, and by the end of it, I was certain I could write a f**king biography on James.

I actually got with this guy for about 7 months and most ironically Ladies and Gentlemen he left me for James.

*Slow Clap*


 

6 – Be Critical

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A bad habit of mine is that I assess people’s flaws far too quickly. My inner cynic is already pointing out the negatives before the sod has even sat down. Gays as a collective are fairly critical (So we should be we are the superior species after all).

Just get to know the guy before you start imagining how you’re going to make it through the evening with him. We’ve all been guilty of this. Although if he is both exceptionally ugly and boring, start eyeing up the exit.


 

5 – Never go on a blind date – EVER.

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You’re sitting there waiting for the Prince Charming your friend Susan has set you up with.

And in walks Simon. He’s probably wearing a Turtle-Neck and has one eye.

You sit there waiting for an excuse to leave to arise, but it doesn’t and the dinner with Simon is never-ending. You are furious with Susan, and plan to give her a stern telling off. That is if you ever manage to get away from Simon and his rousing conversation.

“Oh what’s that Simon; you collect Train Sets you say”


 


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4 – Don’t bring friends along.

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THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS. Don’t do it. This isn’t a sort of gay Sex and the City and chances are it’s not going to work… at all. I can imagine nothing worse than trying to impress a group of people that are almost always going to be against you. (Nobody is good enough for THEIR friend)


 

 

3 – Don’t go all Glenn Close.

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Providing you actually managed to have a decent date, don’t f**k it up now! One of the worst things you can do is seem too keen. Interested is fine, but be weary that you could be reaching “Fatal Attraction” levels of enthusiasm. Things like calling them the next morning or double-texting (For those that don’t know, a double-texter is someone who messages the person…gets no response…and messages again. In my head, I either presume they don’t want to talk to me, or they’re busy. I will NOT however, text them again because you look INSANE)

I’m all for the good old “Online Check/Stalk” though. Don’t look confused! We ALL do it…

At least I think everybody does it.


 

2 – Don’t have sex.

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I bet you didn’t see that one coming!

Seriously though, don’t even go there. If you want to shag a guy you hardly know, go on Grindr! There are plenty of perfectly “normal” guys on there.

Seriously though, if you think there might be something there, don’t dive into bed with him! Take it easy! He could end up being your man!

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And besides, after one date you’re not going to have fully worked the guy out. He could deal in the flesh trade for all you know.


 

 

1 – Talk about yourself (Too Much).

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One of the best qualities one can have is to be a good listener. It’s been proven that being more of a listener resonates better with the person you are talking to. By listening to a person and being/acting genuinely interested in what they are saying will then result, in them psychologically put you down as an excellent conversationalist.

Be cautious you don’t end up listening to the guy and remaining mute yourself. He’ll have you down as boring then. Obviously.

 

There you have it my darlings – The top 7 things NOT to do on a date.