Author: Jake

  • Merry Christmas from everyone at THEGAYUK

    Merry Christmas from everyone at THEGAYUK

    rawpixel / Pixabay

    It’s that time of year.

    THEGAYUK family will be resting for a few days. We hope you have a wonderful day and New Year ahead. Our chat and listings will continue to operate over this period.

    If you need any assistance please reach out to our community, if you need some mental health resources please click here.

    Until 2025

    Take care of yourself.

  • Eyes are your most important feature when it comes to online dating

    Eyes are your most important feature when it comes to online dating

    A new study has found that eyes are the most important feature when it comes to getting hooked up online.

    The eyes are definitely the window to a soul-mate – with four in 10 singletons naming them the most important tool in the online dating game.

    Although most are dating from behind a screen these days, a poll of 1,000 adults found 43 per cent flirt with their eyes more on a virtual date than they would in real life.

    A further 44 per cent feel more comfortable making ‘eye contact’ when dating online – which subsequently increases feelings of attraction and connection by half (49 per cent).

    Don’t hold someone’s gaze for longer than 9 seconds!

    But nine seconds was found to be the optimum time to hold eye contact in order to make a connection, with 52 per cent feeling anything longer comes across as ‘creepy’.

    It also emerged that three in 10 make more effort to hold someone’s gaze on camera to make sure their interest isn’t missed.

    The research was commissioned by Virgin Media, which has teamed up with body language specialist Adrianne Carter, to offer guidance to singles looking to make lasting connections online.

    Adrianne Carter said: “If you can master the right flirting technique using eye contact online, you’re already halfway to getting a second date.

    “When we’re separated by a screen, we have fewer cues to rely on to ascertain if we’ve made a true connection with a date, or if they just want to turn us off – literally.

    “When we are into someone, our subconscious sees us instinctively mirror their behaviours, looking away from the screen to check we’re holding our date’s interest and gazing back into their eyes.”

    The study also found that with digital dating ruling out traditional body language cues that convey interest, more than two fifths of singletons claim facial expressions are more important than ever when flirting, and in working out if dates have potential to progress to something more.

    Cheeky winks are the way

    Flirty looks (37 per cent) and a cheeky wink (17 per cent) also ranked as sure-fire ways for daters to tell if a new beau-to-be is into them.

    But 22 per cent said looking down could signal a premature end to a budding romance, along with avoiding the camera – or eye rolling.

    As well as using their eyes to flirt, 48 per cent of digital daters admitted to deliberately avoiding eye contact if they are uncomfortable.

    While 37 per cent of those polled via OnePoll do so as they don’t want to lead them on by appearing too into them.

    Virgin Media’s spokeswoman Cilesta Van Doorn added: “When we can’t all be physically close to each other easily, connecting online is more important than ever.

    “It’s been fascinating to see the important role the eyes play in helping us to make genuine connections with each other, even when we might be separated by a screen.

    “By sharing our digital guide, created with the expert help of Alix Fox and Adrienne Carter, we’re helping people across the UK keep those special relationships as fresh and stimulating as the first time they connected”.

    TIPS ON VIRTUAL DATING FROM ADRIANNE CARTER

    Perfect your online eye gaze

    (C) BIGSTOCK


    Although you’re behind a screen, eye contact online should be made in the same way it is physically; by looking into the person’s eyes.

    Focus on their eyes and face area when you’re on a video date – don’t look into the camera.

    By doing that you won’t actually be looking at your date’s face, meaning you’ll miss cues – such as eye flirting and their reactions to questions – and it will be harder to make a genuine connection.

    Look, look, and look again
    There’s an easy trick you can try to see if your virtual date is feeling your vibe.

    Look at their face on the screen and then look away to the left – repeat this three times.

    If your date’s still looking at you when your gaze returns to the screen, then they’re interested.

    Let’s have a show of hands
    Traditional body language indicators of interest aren’t possible on a video date, as you’re usually only visible from the shoulders up.

    Alongside our eyes, the way we hold ourselves and the gestures we use convey emotion and aspects of our personalities.

    Using lots of open gestures denotes an expressive and open personality, whereas suppressed and contained hand movements indicate a quiet and low-key personality type.

  • Here’s how to ask someone to put their face covering on without it turning into a Twitter-worthy meltdown

    Here’s how to ask someone to put their face covering on without it turning into a Twitter-worthy meltdown

    By now, we’ve all seen those people on social media who have melted down because they were confronted by someone asking them to don their (now mandatory) face masks. The question is how to do you ask someone to put on their mask, with it going nuclear?

    As face coverings become mandatory while using public transport and shopping in many parts of the UK from tomorrow, in order to help reduce the spread of the Coronavirus, there are many people who are still not masking up. While masks won’t necessarily stop you from contracting Coronavirus, most masks, especially if they are double-layered, will slow down the spread, by collecting droplets from your mouth and nose when you speak, cough or sneeze.

    Councillor Daniel Browne, a psychotherapist and author specialising in helping people to eliminate anxiety and building confidence, told us that explaining to the non-mask wearer that your concern is for your health and others around you might be the way to go.

    He said, “I think the most important thing is to be calm when having the conversation.

    Saying something like “I’m really worried about my health and everyone else’s health. That’s why it would be great for you and everyone to be wearing a mask. We all have a part to play in protecting everyone’s health as much as possible”, could be the way to diffuse any confrontatational situation.

    He also suggested that giving some factual information on mask use could also be key in keeping things calm.

    Showing pride while wearing the mask

    Part of the face mask issue for many is that we also lose part of our identity when wearing a mask. The people you are interacting with can’t see your facial expressions and it’s almost impossible to see if you’re happy, angry, surprised or just damn bored.

    But there is a way to retain some of your identity, by choosing a face mask that has a cool design on the front. We’ve discovered some amazing face masks that can help you show your pride while wearing a face covering.

  • Where can I buy poppers in Bournemouth?

    If you’re in the market to buy poppers or room aromas and you’re in the Bournemouth area, here’s where you can buy them from.

    There are a number of LGBT shops in Bournemouth where you can purchase poppers.

    Firstly, Prowler has a store based in Bournemouth. The store is linked with Simply Pleasure and is located at 333-335 Holdenhurst Road. The store has a wide variety of products, including poppers.

    Secondly, Easy Tiger, a shop right in the heart of Bournemouth’s LGBT quarter (the Triangle) has a full range of bedroom bits and pieces and a full range of room aromas for you to check out.

    Thirdly you can always buy poppers online. A number of shops exist that sell room aromas.

    Are poppers legal in the UK?

    Where can you buy poppers in Bournemouth?
    CREDIT: TheGayUK

    It is completely legal to consume and sell poppers in the UK. In 2017 there were fears that the Conservative government would outlaw their sale and usage, however, poppers were proven to not be a psychoactive substance and so the government made a U-turn and decided against making the liquid illegal.

    If you’re wondering whether poppers are safe to use, then read our advice on them here.

    What else is LGBT+ in Bournemouth?

    Bournemouth has a number of LGBT+ / gay venues including Saunas, Bars and places to get food. It also has a yearly pride event called Bourne Free which is one of the largest on the south coast.

  • When is International Non-Binary Day in 2020?

    When is International Non-Binary Day in 2020?

    gagnonm1993 / Pixabay

    International Non-Binary Day is an annual day to celebrate and bring visibility to people who are non-binary in the LGBT+ community. It is a relatively new awareness day in the LGBT+ calendar.

    In 2020 International Non-Binary Day takes place on the 14th July 2020 and is observed all over the world.

    The International Non-Binary day was first celebrated in 2012. It takes place on this day because it is, precisely midpoint from International Women’s Day and International Men’s Day.

    What are the colours of the Non-Binary flag?

    The Non Binary flag consist of 4 colours in horizontal stripes. Yellow, White Purple and Black.

    Can you buy non-binary jewellery or gifts?

    Yes, there are many stores which have gifts which have the non-binary colours assigned to them. Check out the amazing non-binary gift and jewellery range from our partner site, The Pride Shop.

    To find out other days in the LGBT+ calendar click here.

  • The Queens of Rupaul’s Drag Race 12 have been Ruvealed and we’re excited… very excited

    The Queens of Rupaul’s Drag Race 12 have been Ruvealed and we’re excited… very excited

    Queens Everywhere!! The Queens of Rupaul’s Drag Race 12 have been Ruvealed!!

    Oh Girl!! It’s happening!! Drag Race 12 is almost here, and after that reveal I can’t wait till February 28.

    Introduced by last year’s winner Ivy Oddly thirteen fresh new queens paraded the runway all looking fierce.

    Going by their introduction videos we’re in for a treat. There is a queen for everyone: Comedy, glamour, horror, sci-fi, fashion, gender f and anime, it’s all there.

    Their backgrounds are as fabulous as their looks. We have our first Armenian queen, a queen that immigrated just to join the show, a queen that did America’s Got Talent, a queen that is championed by Adele and various queens that have some well-known drag mama’s. 

    Meanwhile, mama Ru herself is looking fierce in her trailer. She is looking passionate and ready for business.

    It looks like Drag Race UK and AJ and the Queen have given her a new groove.

    Check out the Ruveal, the trailer and the queens below.

  • Adam Lambert says queers in music are becoming mainstream

    Adam Lambert says queers in music are becoming mainstream

    Adam Lambert has spoken about how LGBT+ people in music are becoming mainstream while still maintaining a niche and “subcategory” vibe.

    In the time since Lambert’s first release back in 2009, there has been a wave of out artists, including Sam Smith, Janelle Monáe, Olly Alexander, Frank Ocean and MNEK.

    Speaking in Rollacoaster magazine, Lambert said that at the beginning of his career that being out in the music industry felt like “uncharted territory” and “scary” but it was exciting because it was the dawn of change.

    “A whole niche now”

    He told Rollacoaster,

    “It was a little bit like unchartered territory, and it was exciting because I knew that it was a change, but it was also a bit scary…The queer movement in music is like a whole niche now, it’s this whole thing and what I love is that it’s both a niche like a sub-category but it’s also mainstream.”

    This year, Queen + Adam Lambert will embark on the ‘Rhapsody Tour’ including a massive x10 shows at London’s O2 Arena in June 2020. Adam’s new EP Velvet: Side A is available now

    Pre-order Rollacoaster Magazine Spring/Summer issue here