THEGAYUK

Author: Dan Coleborn

  • “Proportionising (TM)”: 5 Tips To Dressing Slimmer For Any Guy

    “Proportionising (TM)”: 5 Tips To Dressing Slimmer For Any Guy

    Now, we all know no body is a wrong body. Body positivity is hot, and knowing what you’ve got and flaunting it is the best way forward in any case. Still, if there is one thing big-mama Eureka O’Hara has taught us it is the importance of proportionising.

    stokpic / Pixabay

    So, if you’re looking to “Proportionise (TM)” properly for your body type then listen up, as here are five tips to a slimming style for any guy.

    1 – There’s Truth To The Stripes

    oh my god omg GIF by Good Girls

    Okay, it’s something we have heard forever – like, I literally remember being a closeted tween and hearing Trinny & Susanna discussing this. Despite their sometimes bad hype, vertical stripes can still do a lot to slim down a figure and elongate the torso. (It’s pretty simple stuff when you think about it, really – anything you wear that will pull the eye up and down is going to make you look taller and slimmer compared to something that will force the eye side to side.) Even better, stripes are still in trend and you won’t struggle to find an option to suit any mood, season, or occasion. #trustthestripe

    Topman – Fresh Prince Realness 
    Primark  – Summer Ice Cream Man Chique
    Zolando – Summer Buzz 

     

    2 – Focus On That Trou To Shoe Transition

    anna kendrick wow GIF by FocusWorld

    It’s another simple one – I bet you can see where this list is going now – but just try to match the colour and tone of your footwear to your trousers as much as you can. Sure, this gets more difficult (if not impossible) as the warmer weather hits and the short shorts reemerge. So, just keep it in mind for when you do indeed have no choice but to wear trousers – or even for those days when there is just a bit of a cold snap in the air. Brilliant options here are Chelsea boots or hi-tops, basically, any footwear that can slide under the bottom of your trousers instead of leaving an unsightly slither of pale ankle in between the trou and the shoe. The “Science” here works in the same way as the striped shirts, and by creating a constant block of colour from the waist down your legs are elongated and as a result, also appear slimmed down to boot.

    Converse – Keep it classic. 
    Dr.Martens – Stomp out the competition. 
    River Island – Smarten up like you’re made in Chelsea (Boots). 

    3 – Avoid

    stokpic / Pixabay

    The Oversized

    cecily strong what GIF by Saturday Night Live

    Now, this is a bit of a difficult one, as I know how tempting it is to opt for the comfy, oversized, hide-all option that is an oversized Tee or Sweatshirt. But trust me, that Moomoo won’t do you no good, Mama. While it might seem counterintuitive when dealing with slimming down a larger framed physique you need to opt for the more fitted options – and this is the case whether choosing jeans, tees, sweatshirts or jackets. Just think – extra bulk will cause extra bulk, and that’s the last thing you want to do, right?

    Go for Big and Tall sections if you struggle to find a decent fit, but stick with their versions of slim fits to taper everything in as much as possible.

    Boohoo Men – Blessed With Good Jeans 
    Ralph Lauren – Classic Prep
    Raging Bull – Who likes short shorts? 

    4 – Contrast Can be Kind

    confused the interview GIF

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    I know, I know, we were just talking about how working the matchy-matchy look can slim you out, but this is different, so give me a chance. Matching tops to bottoms, and trousers to shoes sure can work to slim out a figure, but if you’re wanting to push the boundaries and work on that adventurous nature of yours then there are always options. If you can opt for a light jacket or shirt be sure to leave it open with a contrasting colour or print layered beneath – imagine a black jacket with a white tee, it’s pretty simple (again) but that strip of white down the centre is really going to stretch out the torso and do all the work for you. (Just remember, don’t add bulk – stay fitted and light and all should be okay.)

    Boohoo Mens – Pink and Pastel 
    TopMan – Simple Denim 
    H&M – First A Spark, Then A Blaze(r)

    5 – Finally, The French Tuck, It’s Not For Everyone.

     fab 5 netflix GIF by Queer Eye

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    While Queer Eye may be an obvious fan favourite for all (and rightly so IMHO) the French Tuck is not. It’s as simple as that, really. It’s a style choice made in almost every episode that quite often makes me want to tear my own hair out. The thing is, yes The French Tuck is a great option to add borders and dimension to a look – and it can honestly completely transform the appearance of a plain white Tee. However, if you have even the slightest tummy this may not be the way forward for you. On a plumper torso, something like the French Tuck can just work to define the problem area even more. That being said don’t rule it out just yet, as obviously the great Tan France does know his stuff. Instead, try it out before you leave the house, then stop, stare in the mirror and really assess whether it works for you and your body type or not: it will work for some, but it’s definitely no magic fix-all. Take a look and trust your gut … You’ll know.

  • Dear The Real Me: You need to let go of the past

    Dear The Real Me: You need to let go of the past

    Dear The Real Me… You need to let go of past baggage.

    Skitterphoto / Pixabay

    Dear The Real Me,

    A lot has been said to you by a selection of men over the years. There have been a lot of hellos, and even more goodbyes. There have been hours upon end of conversation before days, weeks, or even months of torturous silence. You have been compared to songs with backhanded compliments. You have had your strengths praised – your altruism admired – only for these strengths to seemingly become your relationship kryptonite in the long run. There have been promises of forever. There have been I Love You’s galore. Yet, somehow what always seems to stick the most are the things that are said about you and to you. Why is this, you ask? Because you still – even after twenty-eight years – care far too much about what other people might think about you.

    Look at you now, for example – you’re happy, with a man who loves you, in a job you enjoy, in a flat that is … Spacious? However, you still hold on to all of these words from others as if they are scars upon your skin. The tough love of this situation is that you have to grow up, move on, and let go – and the sooner the better. The thing is, the longer you’re holding on to all of this past life baggage, the more it is affecting your current life in the meantime. There’s a reason you’re only allowed one item of hand luggage on the plane – too much baggage and it can take the whole thing down. Worse still you’ve had this happen before, and god knows you don’t want it to be the situation this time.

    Now, I don’t suggest you stop taking on these words just because others have weighed you down in the past. You just need to shred the old to make room for the new; there are a lot of words being said right now that will mean a lot more to you in the years to come than these old words mean to you right now. Listen to him and look at how far you’ve come – look at it all, the big picture, in widescreen, and HD (4K and all).

    You should have grown past those old words by now, and there’s no one but yourself holding you back from doing that. Listen to those new words and remember the journey you’ve been on; remember those bullies, remember coming out, remember each start and each end, and remember that you are a part of something real right now. These are the things you should be holding on to, not the old words that once felt like they were branded into your flesh. To quote (and possibly paraphrase) The Help, “You is smart. You is beautiful. You is special.” Learn to obsess over this. Or at least try, okay?

    It’s a moment of tough love but listen to me, or at least Latrice Royale with the 5Gs … and Good God Girl, Get a Grip. Realise what you’ve accomplished. Realise what you are. Realise what you have, and live for that.

    Love from,

    You (Hoping to soon be just as real as you.)

  • 10 Steps To A First Impression That Counts

    Whether it’s a job interview, a court hearing to decide who get’s to keep the pug, or meeting the SO’s family sometimes a little extra effort can go a long way. Here are ten sure-fire tips to make sure you look and feel your best for whatever your day may have in store.

    1 – Work From The Bottom Up (Literally)

    (IMAGE – Marks And Spencer)

    Beauty is skin deep, and confidence begins just a layer above that. Chances are you’re the only one who’s going to know what’s on under that three-piece so have some fun and treat yourself to some underwear that makes you feel confident from the second you slide it on.

    2 – Remember To Smile

    Don’t go full American Psycho on their asses, but remembering to keep a smile on your face will only work in your favour. It’s the most simple way of displaying confidence, comfort, and openness. Keep flashing those pearly whites and you’ll be sure to get everything you want.

    3 – Show ‘Em How You Clean Up

    (IMAGE – Marks And Spencer)

    A clean shave and a fresh face is always going to be a winner in any situation. However, if you do happen to prefer a little stubble just working on getting that skin shining and beard line sharp will be more than enough to get you noticed.

    4 – Power Pose

    Like the underwear, you don’t want them seeing this part. But, put aside a little alone time before the event to hit some real power poses that will leave you singing your own praises and displaying the best body language. Think posing like Superman in front of a mirror and you’re halfway there, but to be sure you’re hitting the poses properly maybe scour YouTube for tutorials a little beforehand.

    5 – Leave a Lasting Expression

    There’s nothing like leaving a little scent in the air – in a good way, that is. Make sure that when you do leave you’re leaving your best impression with a light and lingering scent that will only make them think better of you.

    Think fresh, bright and confident – you don’t want to remind them of their Granddad.

    Check out a full range of aftershaves from Amazon.

    6 – Keep a Firm Grip and A Strong Wrist

    There’s nothing worse than a weak, limp, flaccid … handshake. So practice that handshake on friends and family until you’re happy that you’ve got it nailed. This will be the first and last impression they get from you, so you definitely want to get it right.

    7 – Keep The Shoe Game Strong

    So, perhaps this one really counts as starting from the bottom up. The importance of correct footwear can go a little forgotten at times, however, much like the scent and the undies it’s an important part in building your confidence and making a good impression. Classics are always classics for a reason but don’t be afraid to mix it up a little – suited and booted is a phrase for a reason. (Pictured: Blivener Men’s Casual Pointed Toe Oxford Lace Up Business Shoes – from £14.99 from Amazon)

    8 – Get A Fresh Trim

    There’s no point in shaping that beard and smoothing that face if your hairs still a hot mess. Head to the barber and get your locks chopped to show up sharp and smart. At risk of sounding like a late 2000’s chick-flick, it’s amazing what a new haircut can do for you, so embrace the change.

    9 – Suit Up

    (IMAGE – House Of Fraser – Blazer £400 PS by Paul Smith Rollneck £110 Fred Perry Trousers £265 Vivienne Westwood)

    If Barney Stinson taught us anything it’s that you can never go wrong with a suit. Whether you keep it simple and classic, or branch out a little more with patterns and colours, as long as it fits well you’re almost definitely going to look the part. Plus, with high street brands really upping their suit game of late there’s no reason for a good suit to cost an arm and a leg anymore: so, find a suit you love, invest and just ensure it fits like a glove forever.

    10 – Just Be You

    It sounds cliche, however, it’s overused for a reason. Be who you are and do what you can, and no one can ever ask any more of you.

  • ALBUM REVIEW | P!nk – Beautiful Trauma, An album of anthems

    ★★★★★ | P!nk – Beautiful Trauma

    P!nk has never been one to shy away from changing with the times. With her seventh studio album, the multi-platinum selling artist shows that she’s more than capable of keeping up with the times and with her fans. Beautiful Trauma is sure to be a hit with the whole of the LGBT community with enough attitude and timely angst to make any episode of Drag Race Untucked look more like Toddlers and Tiaras in comparison.

    Of course, there are the beautiful and heartfelt songs, such as “Beautiful Trauma”, “But We Lost It”, and “Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken” that prove P!nk still knows how to write a track that could – given the right/wrong day – bring you to tears. However, it’s the show-stopping anthems on this album that will really leave a mark for me. In such a delicate and politically fragile time worldwide having an artist like P!nk remind us all that we’re stronger together might be exactly what’s needed. The always empowering “What About Us”, which has already made its mark on the Billboard charts, will be sure to be a greatest hit of hers for years to come. The anthem train continues with tracks like “Where We Go” and “I Am Here”, both of which scream of a yearning to live life to the fullest – with catchy, toe-tapping, sing-along chorus’ that will undoubtedly remain in your head for days to boot.

    Now, if you’re worried and wondering where the sassy breakup tunes don’t you fret. Eminem is back again, featuring on yet another track with P!nk, for the brilliant “Revenge”, a perfect diss track to take your mind off of any ungrateful ex you might be struggling to forget. “Whatever You Want” and “Secrets” could also fall under the breakup tune umbrella in a slightly more solemn tone that harkens back to The Truth About Love Era ever so slightly and in the best way possible.

    Overall, Beautiful Trauma is a solid and fairly eclectic collection of 13 un-skippable tracks. Fans of the old school P!nk are sure to be just as happy as any new fans might be with this one. The one and only gripe from all of us – I’m sure – why isn’t it longer?

  • Dear Hopeful Me… Here’s what you need to know about your first love

    Here’s what first love can feel like

    Dear Hopeful Me,

    Now that you’ve accepted which gender you happen to be attracted to, it’s only a matter of time before that four-letter-word starts playing a more serious part in your life. You’ve spent a while pretending that you don’t believe in Love, mostly because your darn low self-esteem has managed to convince you that you’ll never be worthy of it – but it’s coming, and I feel like you ought to know a little about how it’s going to go.

    The first time it hits you it is going to hit you hard and fast. It will follow you home from the club, show its head on some – few and far between – dates, and most certainly be present through the hour-long phone calls night to night. At this point, it’s going to be confusing and terrifying all at the same time, but you’re going to be feeling too happy in the moment to care about this, so you’ll dive in head first. He’ll say it first, and you’ll say it right back – and then you’ll make a habit of saying it as often as possible to ensure he’s still saying it back, right up until he doesn’t that is.

    That’s the first Love, and it’s a bitch – it will break you and hurt you.

    You’ll spend a long time after that Love living like a wounded animal, you’ll limp from day to day simply hoping that something might change. To steal some wisdom from Cat Stevens, “The first cut is the deepest”, and this has never been truer than when it comes to Love.

    Just hold on, Kiddo, you see, the truth is that Love isn’t a once in a lifetime affair – who knows how many times you might experience it in your life, but I can tell you right now that it’s definitely not just the once for you.

    It might take a while to find someone you can trust again, someone who doesn’t mind the scars and the tears in your trust. But believe me, you’ll find him, and he just happens to be well worth the wait.

    There are always going to be outside influences on your Love, PDA will never be as easy as it should be, and sometimes even holding hands might feel like a risk – thanks a lot, 2016 – but those are all the little things that you quickly realise don’t matter at all. You just have to trust your heart on this one – don’t listen to the head and all the overrun thoughts that might plague you. You are worthy of Love. You are entitled to Love. You deserve a happy future – maybe even with a diamond ring, a picket fence, and a few kids if that’s what you choose. Being Gay doesn’t change this – which is definitely something to keep in mind after that first love breaks you.

    You are worthy of Love. You are entitled to Love. You deserve a happy future – maybe even with a diamond ring, a picket fence, and a few kids if that’s what you choose. Being Gay doesn’t change this – which is definitely something to keep in mind after that first love breaks you.

    You are entitled to Love. You deserve a happy future – maybe even with a diamond ring, a picket fence, and a few kids if that’s what you choose. Being Gay doesn’t change this – which is definitely something to keep in mind after that first love breaks you.

    You deserve a happy future – maybe even with a diamond ring, a picket fence, and a few kids if that’s what you choose. Being Gay doesn’t change this – which is definitely something to keep in mind after that first love breaks you.

    Being Gay doesn’t change this – which is definitely something to keep in mind after that first love breaks you.

    It’s hard to know when you find The One – in fact; everyone might feel like The One to you at times, but that’s when you really have no choice but to dive in headfirst. At the end of the day, Love might hurt you, but it’s nothing to be afraid of.

    If it’s now or never, make it now.

    Sincerely,
    Twenty-Five Year Old (Loved, Unloved, and Loved Again) You

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Dear Unloved Me … What Advice Would You Give The Pre-First-Love You?

    If you could go back before you fell in love for the first time, what would you tell yourself?

    Dear Unloved Me,

    This is a difficult one to cover. Ideally, I want to reveal what I wish I’d known before I fell in love for the very first time. I guess if that love had have lasted this wouldn’t be difficult to write at all. We’ve all heard it before; it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. You might not believe this yet, but it is true – well kind of, at least.

    You’re going to learn a lot from that first love, kiddo. First of all, you’re going to realise quite suddenly how quickly you can fall, and it’s a hard fall. (The landing isn’t what we’re concentrating on here – that’s a letter all of its own, unfortunately.) But the fall, oh the fall, it’s terrifying and exciting all at once. Prepare yourself to feel an entire rollercoaster of emotions on an almost daily basis.

    This love itself isn’t going to start in the traditional fairy tale manner you’re expecting, so there will be little warning before it hits you like a wall. Really, my only advice for you while you’re at this stage, is to enjoy it. Go with the flow and roll with the punches. It’s the first time so it’s not going to be the smoothest for you, but that’s okay because you’re learning.

    Another thing you’ll learn over time is that the amount of love you give out isn’t always the same as the amount you receive back. It’s not got its own patented return system, sadly. This is made all the worse due to the amount of time you considered yourself unworthy of love. It was a ridiculous belief – of course – but it still plagued you for a solid twenty years of your life, so you’re going to have to expect some repercussions from that. You’re going to lose it a little bit, terrified that if you don’t convince someone you love them just enough they’ll turn and leave with no warning.

    Because of this, you’re also going to lose a little self-worth. Far too quickly your own happiness will rely on the actions of another. Here’s some advice on that matter – and I mean this with the most sincerity – stop. You can’t place all of your chips on one bet – well you can, but it’s a foolish decision with so many variables. What I mean is that it’s not fair on you, and it’s not fair to him to expect him alone to make you happy. You can’t fall for someone and live as though they’re the only thing in the world – or even the only thing in your world – that really matters. Don’t lose yourself for someone else, because that isn’t love at all. Love would never require you to do such a thing – it makes you more of a person, not less.

    You’ve spent a solid chunk of your life watching romantic comedies that have convinced you that a mid-story struggle is to be expected. This is the part where you have to prove your love with a ten-minute monologue, a bare-knuckle fight, or perhaps a church hall dance off. In your own version of events, this is going to be a prolonged up and down of emotions, a hell of a lot of radio silence, and a handful of broken promises. It’s not romantic. It’s not sweet. It’s not fair. Erase these movie scenes from your mind, and ignore every Taylor Swift lyric that works to convince you that anything worthwhile is worth a fight. While my advice for the first stage of this love was to go with the flow, this is where you really need to wake up and pay attention.

    This love is going to royally throw you in the deep end. As I mentioned, you’ll fall fast and hard, and hopefully, that will never be a part of how you love that changes. It’s the middle and the end of this love that you really have to learn from. Giving someone your everything doesn’t guarantee that you’ll receive this back. You don’t have to fight to feel worthy of someone’s love. And perhaps most importantly, a love should never destroy you more than it can rebuild you.

    Don’t lose yourself in love – not in this one, or any other – so much that you’ll struggle to find yourself again. It’s an interesting one that’s coming up, so enjoy the ride for as long as you can, but make sure you know when to get off.

    Kind Regards,

    The Loved, Unloved, and Loved Again You

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Ten Tips To Make A Flawless First Impression

    Ten Tips To Make A Flawless First Impression

    First dates, they can be the makings of a fresh new romance or your very own horror movie. Okay, so that might be a bit of an overstatement, but they can certainly make or break the chances of a potential future with someone. As unfortunate as it might be, these scenarios – whether they play out good or bad for the individual – are one of the very few things that tie us all together.

    https://giphy.com/gifs/fabulous-hair-flip-shrek-wMqzS9qqe6X2E

    There’s a reason first dates are nerve-wracking but follow these ten steps and you’ll be sure to make a lasting – and outstanding – first impression.

    (You can thank me after the third date.)

     

    10 – Think Outside The Box

    There’s no need for dinner and a movie to be the only potential first date option. Get out of your comfort zone and do something a little different to leave a lasting impression on that special guy.

    9 – Dress To Impress

    Put away that ancient Tee and actually button up to be remembered. The right guy’s going to be worth that extra effort. Iron that shirt, polish the shoes, and don’t forget to run a brush through that hair, it’ll be worth it in the long run.

    8 – Have Fun – But Not Too Much Fun

    There’s nothing wrong with a little Dutch courage, but make sure to remember where the line is. Much like you will want to remember the date, he probably doesn’t want to be babysitting a stumbling drunk so maybe keep it to a four-drink maximum.

    7 – Don’t Do ALL Of The Talking

    Dates have a way of including two people for a reason. Just try to remember that it’s not all about you, no one likes a loudmouth whose favourite topic is himself, so ask some questions, and make him feel like the center of attention every now and then.

    6 – Find Some Common Ground

    It doesn’t matter if it’s music, movies, or your mutual love for sausage … dogs. Once you find something you completely agree on the conversation will start flowing without any effort at all. It’ll always give you something to fall back on too.

    5 – Cover The Fun Stuff – But Leave Out All The Rest

    Unless it’s especially important to the both of you, it might be best to avoid anything political or even remotely controversial. You’ll have enough time to cover your stances on Brexit, Gay Rights, and the Pro-Life movement, so let’s not use up all the fun topics on the first date.

    4 – Be Witty.

    Think Tina Fey, not Chandler Bing. The class clown is all well and good in small doses, but no one wants to be stuck on a date full of constant one-liners and immature observations.

    3 – Avoid All The BURNING Questions

    Top or bottom? STD Free? Much like the politics, you have more than enough time to find out these things about one another. While the answers might sway you one way or another – I’m not going to judge what’s important to you – those issues can definitely wait a few dates.

    2 – Leave It On A Good Note

    Like Mama said, “No one’s gonna’ buy the cow if you give the milk away for free.” This one will change from date to date, and person to person, but judge the situation well and leave it in a way that both of you will be happy with.

    Lips were made for more than talking, after all.

    1 – Be Yourself

    It’s cheesy and overused, but it really is the most important thing to remember. You need to find someone who likes the real you, and there’s only one way for them to get to know that awesome guy.

    Remember, confidence is sexy.

  • Dear Innocent-Me… What warnings, or advice, would you give your past self on the delightful world of gay dating apps?

    Dear Innocent-Me… What warnings, or advice, would you give your past self on the delightful world of gay dating apps?

    Embed from Getty Images

    Dear Innocent Me,

    I’m going to jump right into this one, partly because I have a word-count to stick to, but also because it’s a pretty important point that I need to discuss with you this time. One of the best parts of having a big gay time machine to contact my younger self through is knowing that I can potentially stop you from making some big mistakes. One way you’re going to make mistakes in the near future is through the fabulous world of mobile dating apps, so listen up, kiddo – it’s about to get real.

    Firstly, even at the age of 25 I’m still somehow

    the naive gay who sees them as Dating Apps – maybe it’s all the musicals, or Julia Roberts movies I’ve seen, that have convinced me love comes first and always wins in the end. However, here’s the truth, a lot of -and perhaps most – guys don’t view or use these apps in this way. For a lot of guys these apps are more about hooking up than they are about dating, and they’re more about sex than they are about love. This will cause some confusion, and a fair bit of wasted time, in conversations you have with guys you envisage as possible suiters. Yes, there will be those guys who are upfront about it from the get go; they’ll ask for pics, or they’ll send pics, or you’ll be greeted with the stunningly eloquent opening question that is, “top or bttm?” You’ll get used to these guys, and you will even get used to explaining that you’re after a little more than they are. It’s the others that really breed confusion – the ones who talk like they want more, staying full Dr Jeckyll until the night hits and Mr Hyde emerges. Let’s cut to the chase, don’t fall for these guys.

    Secondly, remember to always put safety first. Of course, this comes into play just as much in the bedroom as it does on the apps, but I’m referring to the latter now. Avoid being too open and vulnerable on these Apps, maybe even to the extent of not showing your face in your profile picture – it will definitely help to avoid unplanned chance meetings, after all. Other than that it’s all the usual points, no addresses, of course no banking information, and no deep dark confessions to that faceless torso with glistening abs.

    When it gets to the real world part, which it will on more than a few occasions, listen to what your parents have always told you. Strangers = Dangers. Meet in a public, well lit place – and make sure there are people who know your exact plans, that you keep them updated on all the while, of course. There are going to be couple times you don’t follow these rules and you’re pretty lucky nothing bad actually happens, but just FYI they’re super awkward encounters and not worth all of the risk and worry at all.

    Finally, don’t fall for anyone before actually meeting them – this even goes for the good ones you might find. You’re going to do it, and you’re going to feel stupid. At the end of the day dating apps are like Facebook or any other kind of social media, people show what they want you to see, and hide what they don’t. You can’t fall for a concept of a man.

    Yours sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old (Somewhat Regretful) You

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • 6 undies you need buy your boyfriend (or you) this Christmas

    6 undies you need buy your boyfriend (or you) this Christmas

    “Oooo! Pants. In my Christmas stocking yippeee”. Said no man anywhere. Or will he? Check out Dan Coleborn’s top 6 choices to stick in your man’s stocking this Christmas.

    For The Sporty Guy

    Understandably sport underwear comes in many different shapes and styles, so unless you know exactly what he’s after I’d play it fairly safe with this one. Going for something along the lines of the Nike Pro Hypercool 6” Shorts is a sure fire way to please any guy who’s more likely to be found enjoying himself on a field rather than in front of the TV this Christmas. Created from Dri-Fit Max fabric and with a compression fit for a “locked in feel” it’s going to be difficult getting it wrong with these babies. Your main struggle might just be picking the colour.

    Get Them Here.

     

    For The Guy With Thighs

    Under Armour Men's The Original Boxer Jock 9-inch

    There’s no shortage of Gays with phenomenal thighs out there – you know the kind I’m talking about, the ones that look like the Jaws of Life that could end you, or save you, in a second. The issue with thighs of thunder is that quite often a little irritable chafing can be the price that one pays for having them. So, if your guy has the thighs of a Welsh rugby player opt for the likes of Under Armour’s Men’s UA Original Series 23cm Boxerjock. Not only will they make his thighs look like there coated in molten chrome, the added length will also help to combat any risk of chaffing.

    Get Them Here.

     

    For The Show Off Guy

    Some guys just like to take what they’ve got and give it a little boost in the bedroom. For this kind of show off go for AussieBum’s EnlargeIT Sport trunks. With their own EnlargeIT Tech built in this is sure to help any show off really catch the attention of anyone else in the room – be it the bedroom, or the locker-room.

    Get Them Here.

    For The Loveable Guy With Handles To Match

    Despite what the media might inform us, not every Gay has rippling abs and 4% body fat. If your guy has a little extra cuddle to him go for a more classic style of underwear, helping to limit discomfort and eradicate the muffin-top. Calvin Klein’s CK One Boxers do the job perfectly without returning to the style of your Dad’s underwear entirely.

    Get Them Here.

    For The Commando Guy

    If your man happens to prefer the feeling of less rather than more, then Andrew Christian’s Almost Naked Tagless Cotton Boxer might be the only way to go. With a pouch that “virtually eliminates sticking, squashing, re-adjusting, sweating and chafing” he might even come to prefer wearing these to wearing nothing at all. Or, you know, you could always just keep it bare and not buy him anything at all – just mull it over.

    Get Them Here. 

     

    For The Playful Guy

    If you’re looking for a slightly more suggestive design for a guy who doesn’t mind putting on a bit of a show, go for a classic PUMP! Jock. It’s all business in the front, with a little party in the back, just as you’d expect from any jockstrap and is definitely a little more sexy than a pair of Christmas socks.

    Get Them Here.

  • Dear Closeted-Me… What would you tell your closeted self before you came out?

    What would you tell your closeted self before you came out if you had the chance?

    However you decided to come out… “It will all be okay in the end”

    Dear Closeted-Me,

    This is a difficult letter to write; not because I don’t know what to say – future you always knows what to say – rather because I know how scared and lost you are feeling right now. At the moment you’re at the very end of a long and dark tunnel, the light is just ahead of you, tauntingly close, yet terrifyingly far. Yet, I’m here, surrounded by many LGBT brothers and sisters who have been exactly where you are right now, and Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres, and I, would like to chorus you with another message of “It will all be okay in the end”.

    The fact of the matter is that you’ve already been through the hardest part of this journey. You’ve done all the leg-work – figuring out who you are, hiding who you are, and accepting who you are, all being key steps along the way. Now you’re finding yourself at the final step, and it’s potentially the biggest, the Neil Armstrong of steps if you will.

    Coming Out can feel terrifying. It’s like there’s a bomb formed of glitter, and rainbows, and pride waiting to go off inside of you. As fun as that bomb might sound, you’re probably going to struggle to get past the fact that it’s still a bomb in its truest form – and bombs have a fairly sturdy reputation of ruining things. You’re going to be scared that this truth is going to destroy well-formed friendships and tear apart your family, I mean, we’ve all heard the unfortunate stories, after all.

    Thankfully those stories seem fewer and further between one another nowadays, it is 2016 after all, so anyone who does have an issue with absolutely anyone coming out can jump right back up into their own arsehole where that opinion belongs – and you can feel free to send them my way if you want me to tell them that myself.

    Still, it’s a worrisome, tiring, and anxiety-filled time for you so let’s get right back to the point that there is nothing to be afraid of. A big point of advice, stop fretting so much about how you do it. Trust me, you’re the only one who thinks it will matter if people get the News through a letter, an open status, or a big gay rainbow cake. Just find a way that enables you to remain comfortable and in control, and go for it.

    Sure, you might not want to take advice from someone who came out via a very subtle post-it note, but that’s your decision.

    I found the least scary way to do it for myself and I did it because that is exactly where I was at that point. Also, never forget that this is all for you. This is your truth, and your life, so it is up to you entirely how you do it, when you do it, and how many people you do it to (pun intended).

    You might come out to everyone at once, or a few people at a time, hell, there might even be some people you never come out to.

    Remember, however, you want to do it, it’s fine – and it really will all be okay in the end.

    Welcome to the team, kid.

    Sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old You, Ellen, and Neil
    (But really just you.)

  • Dear 13-year-old me… What would you say to your 13-year-old self?

    What would you say to your 13-year-old self if you had the chance?

    CREDIT: bigstock-soupstock
    CREDIT: bigstock-soupstock

    Dear Thirteen-Year-Old Me,

    There is potentially never a more shaping time in ones life than the torturous years of teenagehood. If 80’s movies have taught me anything it’s that everyone deserves their very own coming of age story. Ideally we’d all get our own Molly Ringwald moments as a teenager – we’d kiss over cake, or bond through detention, or maybe we’d own our very own collection of questionably embellished bowler hats. However, being Molly Ringwald isn’t as easy as it seems, in fact for most of us – especially when we identify as part of the LGBT community – we rarely happen to get the teenage coming of age story we truly deserve.

    I understand you are currently struggling through your very own version of hell on earth – minus all of the actual flames, of course. You’re struggling with your sexuality like so many have before you, and I am writing to warn you of what is to come. You’ll soon be entering the second stage of your senior school career. The first stage was realising that you might, actually, possibly, be kind of gay. Next you are going to spend a long time hoping – and literally praying – that you aren’t, a fairly wasted effort when everyone else already seems so certain that you are. Then, for an even longer time, you are going to play one of the least convincing roles ever, the role of a straight boy. Seriously, the time that you played Mayor’s Assistant #1 in your year six production of Rocky Horror was more convincing – and that wasn’t even a real role.

    Throughout all of these stages one thing will remain present and consistent all the way, and that is how alone and isolated you will feel. You’ll believe that no one else has ever felt, or worried, or been bullied the same way ever before, and this is most definitely not the case.

    Hindsight is honestly 20/20, much like it’s a cold-hearted bitch, but I’ve learnt a lot since my teenage years, so allow me to bestow some wisdom onto you – you awkward and quiet baby gay.

    Firstly, It gets better, you’ll no doubt hear this a million times throughout your life, but that makes it no less true. Year on year since coming out I have personally found life has kept getting better for me, so by no means assume that where you are now is where you’ll be forever. I don’t want to fall into the rhythm of a long-winded and overtly rambled speech on the importance of being oneself – especially when it can all too often feel like the entire world is pushing against you to be someone else. However, please try to be you. Closed-minded people will always find issues with change and difference – and while we may know that whom we love makes absolutely no difference to who we are as people, those kinds of bigots will always struggle to understand that. Trust me, in the long run you’re going to regret pretending to be someone else much more than you could ever regret being true to yourself.

    When it comes to the actual bullies I’m going to borrow a few words from the founder of TheGayUK, Jake Hook, have “the bravery to confront them,” know “that when you push back that bullies rarely know how to respond and once you’ve taken away the power of their words they get bored and move on.”

    I think he, like many other members of the LGBT community, would agree with me when I say, “Screw the haters, be proud and be brave”.

    One final thing, remember you’re not alone. You are a part of a huge, loud and supportive community that all know exactly what you’re going through because most of them have already been there themselves.

    You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. You’ll be grand. You’ll be gay.

    Sincerely,

    Twenty-Five Year Old You