THEGAYUK

Category: Entertainment

  • FILM REVIEW | Four Days in France

    ★★ | Four Days in France (Jour de France) is basically one very long advert for Grindr.

    One man uses the app to find his missing partner – in the middle of France! I can’t even find a shag in my own neighbourhood much less find someone in the middle of nowhere. But that’s the premise of this film, very far fetched and not quite durable.

    Pierre (Pascal Cervo) up and leaves his partner Paul (Arthur Igual) in the middle of the night with no explanation whatsoever – he just gets in his car and heads out of town. Pierre drives and drives and drives and uses Grindr to hook up with various men along the way – to nowhere.

    He also encounters all sorts of people, including taking a man’s photograph on the very snowy border between France and Italy, is then yelled at by a woman who is tired of gay men using her neighborhood as a cruising area, and a much older man who refuses sex because Pierre smells (he’s been sleeping in his car). What is Pierre’s motivation for doing this?

    This very long 127-minute film doesn’t give us a clue. Paul, meanwhile, is hot on the trail looking for him and narrows his search by using Grindr. It’s only a matter of time (a very long time) until the predictable happens, but before we are expected to believe that they both picked up the same woman on the side of the same road and had the same conversation with her (she tells both of them that they look depressed), and that Pierre goes out of his way to deliver a package to a woman who lives high up on a mountain because one of his shags asked him to do so. Really?

    Writer and director Jérôme Reybaud really tests the viewers’ endurance as some of the driving scenes are way too long and this film could’ve been cut by at least 45 minutes. It’s a bit of an indulgence that Reybaud puts us through this journey, it’s a journey that’s very unbelievable and the payoff it not even worth it. And while there is only one hot hookup in the film, it may be better that you spend your time looking for sex in the middle of France, because according to this film there are lots of lonely and sexually frustrated men there, and all are on Grindr.

     

  • FILM REVIEW | Heal the Living

    FILM REVIEW | Heal the Living

    ★★★★ | Heal the Living

    Heal the Living (Réparer les vivants) deals with a tragedy that changes the lives of two families – it’s very sad and very dramatic like most French films are, but it’s also well acted and well told.

    It deals with the delicacy of life, family, relationships and decisions that need to be made in a tragic time. Teenager Simon (Gabin Verdet) is experiencing his first true love, but when he and his friends get into a tragic car accident it’s up to his parents (Tahar Ramin and Emmanuelle Singer – both very good) to make a heartbreaking decision.

    Meanwhile, Claire Méjean (Ann Dorval) needs a new heart, and while she is waiting she can feel her life ticking away. She’s got two grown boys, and she loves them very much. But without a new heart, she doesn’t have much time to live. So Simon’s tragic accident has very sad consequences for one family but the opposite effect for another family – in a film that is both beautifully and delicately told. Heal the Living, directed by Katell Quillévéré, will leave you in tears. It’s hard hitting yet it comes with an excellent original story (Maylis De Kerangal and Katell Quillévéré) and superb performances all around.

     

  • House Of Cards trailer hints at same-sex relationship for Frank Underwood

    The new trailer has hit social and it very briefly hints that Frank’s bisexuality might be coming out.

    **spoiler alert** if you’ve not watched the first or second or fourth season do not read beyond here.

    So it seems as though Frank Underwood might be letting his sexuality flourish in season 5 of House Of Cards. The brand new trailer has been launched and there’s a very, brief moment of same-sex activity. Blink and you’ll miss it though.

    His previous man-friend, his bodyguard Edward Meachum, died in series four, but now it seems there’s another man on the horizon for Frank Underwood.

    Watch the trailer below

    The new series is out later this month.

     

  • 10 things you know as a gay guy in your 30s

    Shock horror younglings, gay men in their 30s do exist, I am one of them. And here is my helpful tongue in cheek guide to traversing the minefield of being classed as over the hill by anyone who’s under 25.

    1. It creeps up on you faster than you think.

    http://gph.is/1UkkJdN

    When I was but a wee gay nipper myself back In the early 2000s I never thought 30 would happen. But time marches on, and suddenly I was 30 before I knew it. There’s only 52 Saturday nights to be had in a year, and those goes shockingly quickly. In just a few short years, you too will be a bitter old queen writing articles about how to cope being in your 30s.

    2. Beauty fades, dumb is forever

    http://gph.is/XLjZ6y
    Here’s a tip for you, you aren’t going stay looking the same for the rest of your life, and let’s face it, getting surgery or fillers will make you end up looking like a permanently shocked shop mannequin, or Madonna. So for the love of god, please teach yourself some skills that don’t involve how to get into a pair of skinny jeans.

    3. You WILL lose those luscious locks.

    http://gph.is/29Fls7m

    I still feel a slight pang of jealousy towards the young gays who can have any hairstyle and colour they want, I used to do it myself, but these days I’ve only got 12 hairs, and three of them are my husbands. But there is a high chance that by your 30s you too will either be bald, or balding. So make the most of your hair while you have it, but once you start losing it, shave that stuff off and grow a beard, or invest in some really ridiculous wigs.

    4. You have to become fabulous

    http://gph.is/2jI8mip

    In order to stay relevant on the gay scene, you will have to become hilarious and fabulous. One liners will have to actually be witty, and you need them to distract from your gnarled old face and rapidly vanishing hairline, you will have to become a talking point but luckily, by your 30s you should have met a group of people who put up with your crazy notions of “good music” and who will sit with you and judge everyone else.

    5. Nightclubs will become a chore

    http://gph.is/15CoNhx

    Not only do hangovers last a lot longer, attempting a death drop could result in breaking a hip, and you’ll also find yourself resenting the fact that you can no longer tell when one song ends and another begins. You also don’t want to have to deal with the drama that young gays manage to get themselves into. While in your youth you could cope with the crying friend, the horny friend and the throwing up friend all in one night, once you’re past 30, most of the time your find the expression “oh for f***s sake, what now?” will become a staple of your vocabulary when dealing with the 18 year olds.

    6. It becomes a lot harder to maintain your figure.

    http://gph.is/2d1Xjvo

    That skinny twink body of yours you so love, yep that’ll go the way of your hairline once you get past 25, and it becomes a lot harder to maintain it without taking out a pact with the devil. That whole pizza and cheesy chips you managed to cram down after a night out, will now stay on your hips unless you run a marathon or rig up a home liposuction device using a funnel, a hose and a Dyson.

    7. Hookups in their 40s become a viable option.

    http://gph.is/2ghqsDE

    When you’re 20, the idea of hooking up with a guy in his 40s might seem like a terrible idea unless he’s rich, has a heart condition and you really like loud indoor fireworks. But in your 30s you realise a guy of 40, could only be 5 years older than you and they are the only ones paying you attention on Grindr anymore.

    8 And on the subject of hookups…

    http://gph.is/2lMWs3s

    In one’s youth, you can be ready for a hookup at the snap of a finger and with pretty much anyone. you’d meet a guy in the club, go back to his place and be careful not to wake up his parents. Even an invitation of “can you meet now?” on Grindr is ok, because you know your feet won’t ache if you walk a mile. Past 30, if someone were to ask “meet now?” You’d have to think about whether you can be bothered to travel that far and whether it’s worth having to have another shower for what could potentially be a lacklustre blowjob.

    9. Popularity isn’t everything

    http://gph.is/1SGkont

    The wisdom of old age makes you understand popularity doesn’t mean a goddamn thing if the people who hang around with you wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, they’d most likely Snapchat it and try to go viral, so they too can become a vapid attention seeking whore. But fear not young gay, by your 30s the people who have stuck around are the ones who will have your back and most likely be able to provide bail money.

    10. You can still have a f**king good time

    http://gph.is/1uaonYi

    It’s not all doom and gloom, by your 30s you’ll have found yourself, and find the whole idea of the gay scene infinitely amusing and you can appreciate it a lot more. You’ll have met so many different types of people that hardly anything will be a surprise, but you’ll have enough experience not to care. You’ve loved and learned and become a better person for it, so strap on your safety belts, it’s still a hell of a ride.

    https://twitter.com/AndyEG1982

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  • Vote for your favourite LGBT venue in the UK

    We want to know your favourite LGBT+ venue.

    Madrid Pride
    CREDIT: Aaron Holloway

    It’s time to celebrate the UK’s LGBT bars, clubs, restaurants, saunas and hotels – so we’re asking you, our lovely readers to nominate your favourite businesses.

    There are five sections, you do not have to fill out all sections, just the venues you’re interested in nominating. Don’t forget to give us your reasons for the nomination.

    The venue must be in the UK.

  • FILM REVIEW | Unhung Hero

    ★★★★★ | Unhung Hero

    When Patrick Moote proposed to his girlfriend on camera at a baseball game the video of her brusque rejection went viral on YouTube within days.

    It wasn’t the fact that he had been so unceremoniously dumped in public that upset him, it was the reason she gave for her refusal. It really hit poor humiliated Patrick below the belt when she told him it was just because his penis was too small. It’s the nightmare scenario that every man, straight or gay, lives in fear of. Our genitals are after all, how we measure our manhood.

    Patrick, despite earning his living as a stand up comic in New York, didn’t find his predicament funny in the least but it did empower him to embark on a quest to discover how small is small, and what could possibly be done to make his member more memorable. Full credit for him for going so public on an issue that most men would totally shirk away from, and he started his journey by going back and re-visiting old girlfriends to get their take on his love tool.

    They only confirmed the opinions of what medical professionals he later consulted, diagnosed as a ‘smaller than average’ penis. Patrick bared his soul (not body though) to total strangers to get a pop vox on their take on what stigma this ‘affliction’ would mean to them. And in an awkward conversation, his embarrassed father admitted that it was probably a hereditary condition anyway.

    Now Patrick decided to visit any corner of the world where there may be a solution to his dilemma. His trips to Korea, Taiwan, Thailand and Papua New Guinea were both funny and stressful as poor Patrick witnessed all the bizarre treatments that seemed to result in no more inches but a great deal of pain. Our hearts are in our mouths as he tried lifting weights by his testicles and also when he is on the verge of actually injecting some dodgy looking serum into his balls. Ouch!

    The documentary of Patrick’s search is nothing less than a sheer delight: mainly because he has this endearing quality of naiveté and unfiltered honesty publicly exposing himself on a topic most men would never ever dream of even mentioning to their closest friends. It ends up being so much more than the size of his phallus but the importance of Patrick being comfortable with who he really is. It was a brave undertaking and one that was so worth sharing, especially as it ended on such a high note.

  • Top 10 albums which are total sex albums

    It’s the age old move to set the mood set for a bit of hot love making. The smooth movers amongst us, will already have a playlist on standby as soon as the bottle top has been popped and the lights have been set for the evening’s entertainment. Here are our TOP 10 albums to SEX to.

    10. One of the sexiest albums around has to be JANET JACKSON’S VELVET ROPE:

    Queen of sexy music takes us through a bump and grind of an album and at times it almost feels as though she’s in the room with you… Key tracks: ROPE BURN / TOGETHER AGAIN

    9.  SUFJAN STEVEN’S – ILLINOISE:

    Make a welcome bed buddy, with a gentle vibey 70 minutes of music. Doesn’t have any major beats within the music, but it’s soft, lyrical and Sufjan’s voice is sexy – you almost wish he was singing to you.

    8. ADELE 21:

    Certainly makes an impact and sets the tone. Soft and easy on the ear – 21 certainly doesn’t distract from the mission at hand. KEY TRACK: SOMEONE LIKE YOU

    7. QUEER AS FOLK – SEASON FOUR – VARIOUS ARTISTS:

    Ever see the US version of QAF. If not you’ve missed out. The music from the series is outstanding and the compilation is flawless for a bit of pawness! (plus you can act out your favourite sex scene from QAF – are you into rimming???)

    6. DAMIEN RICE – 0:

    Is always a favourite artist choice. His music gently adds atmosphere without taking away from the moment. Like candles and incense. The man has a seriously sexy voice and the music drips emotion, perfect for a softly, softly love making session.

    5. Can I hear you get DIRRTY? Oh yes, no Sexy Album List would be complete without our Dirrty mistress Christina’s STRIPPED.

    This landmark album entered our CD collection in 2002 and is probably the most played. It superbly fits a sexy session, anytime, any day with enough beats and slow downs to keep you both going for the 70 minute length of the CD. (Oo er, a 70-minute session – we’re tired just at the thought!)

    4. AIR – MOON SAFARI.

    This is some seriously sexy music. The French duo takes the listener to a place that’s smooth, sexy and sublime. KEY TRACK: SEXY BOY (Obvs!)

    3. ALICIA KEYS – AS I AM.

    Turn the lights now and let this smooth voice take you away. This voice is like getting high on dope (not that we know) but we imagine that’s what it’s like. KEY TRACKS: LESSON LEARNED, LIKE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

    2. WEEDS SOUNDTRACK VOLUME 2 – VARIOUS ARTISTS:

    This is an eclectic mix of songs from artists like Fern Jones (Strange Things Are Happening) To Regina Spektor (Ghost of Corporate Future) All together this album packs a nice, sexy smooth pace. KEY TRACKS: HOLLAND – SUFJAN STEVENS, JENNY OWENS YOUNGS: ***K, WAS I.

    1. JAKE HOOK – SXY.


    Believe it or not, this EP was written about sex and believe it or not it was written by our very own Editor and Chief, Jake Hook in 2007. It’s 31 minutes long and takes you on a journey from “Crave” (when you really want it) to masturbation (Satisfied?).  All good stuff TBH and it’s free to listen to on Spotify.

  • Guy covers himself in Mentos and jumps in bath of coke

    It has to be seen to be believed.

    So, do you remember those experiments where they put Mentos in a bottle of diet coke and the whole thing explodes in a frothy climax – very much like us whilst listen to Bette Midler atop our unicorn. (Watch the original below) Well, this guy from Japan has tried the ultimate Mentos challenge.

    He starts by unwrapping hundreds of packets of Mentos, then covers his body with sellotape and plunges himself into the world’s smallest hot tub full of Coke Zero. However, the results aren’t exactly as expected.

    The clever bods at iflscience.com explain, “When the candy’s porous surface, gelatin, and gum arabic combined with the potassium benzoate, aspartame, and carbonation in the soda, the CO2 gets released incredibly rapidly, producing a tremendous amount of foam. When forced to go through the bottle’s narrow opening, this creates a huge geyser.”

    It’s been watched over 22 million times… Go on add a few more views. He needs to pay off the costs of his Coke Zero and Mentos.

  • THEATRE REVIEW | Pam Ann, Leicester Square Theatre, London

    ★★ | Pam Ann: Touch Trolley Run to Galley 20th Anniversary Tour, London and other UK cities

    Trolley Dolly Pam Ann returns to London with her 20th Anniversary tour – Touch Trolley Run to Galley – but it’s pretty much the same schtick she’s been doing year in and year out.

    Australian Pam Ann (real name Caroline Reid) has been making the rounds as the self-described ‘Queen of the skies’ for the past 20 years all around the world, and in this show she lets us know it. Now playing at the Leicester Square Theatre, the show begins with a video montage of her previous shows and the famous people she’s hung out with. Yes, from the minute the video starts we are reminded that the show is all about her. She lets us know that she’s an iconic international celebrity air hostess who has developed cult status over the years with her fans (most of whom are gay and who love her bitchiness and candor). And then when she’s out on stage she picks four audience members and invites them onto the stage to create a new Spice Girls band (who are also celebrating their 20th anniversary). On the night I saw the show, she conveniently picked four gay men from the audience (after all, gay men are so much more likely to ‘get her’) to ‘become’ the Spice Girls. Picking on audience members is a time and tested old tradition used by comedians when they don’t have enough material to fill a show (‘what’s your name?’, ‘where are you from?’ is the usual repertoire), and it’s a bit lazy to do so at the beginning of a show! Anyways, Pam Ann was very good with them; she was quick with one-liners and put-downs, and the men took it all in jest. It’s funny, but I wanted more jokes about the current state of the airline industry and the in-the-news bad treatment of passengers (she did open up with a joke about the United Airlines fiasco but it was a bit too short and too quick).

    The second half of the show had her bring out a trolley filled with, of course, alcohol, as well as a bevvy of dolls that represented airline stewardesses from all over the world (an Australian transgender doll was quite funny). But we’ve seen this from her many many times. Pam Ann tells us why she loves BA, and her alter ego Lilly ‘comes out’ all too briefly, and of course, she makes fun of Ryanair (who wouldn’t?). But as the show goes, it’s ‘we’ve seen and heard it all before’, and two hours in she leaves the stage and tells the audience to expect something great – but when she comes back out all she presents to us is a glittering outfit where she then proceeded to take selfies with the audience members whom she chose to be the Spice Girls, and then thud, the show ended, with not a laugh in sight. Pam Ann: Touch Trolley Run to Galley 20th Anniversary tour is 2 hours and 20 minutes long, but this consisted of a 20 minute interval and 20 minutes of video footage, including two videos of her interspersed into scenes from the Great British Bake-off – it would’ve been a bit funnier if she would’ve done this live, but that would’ve been perhaps too much effort?

    Pam Ann plays at Leicester Square Theatre until 27th May 2017

     

    For more information about Pam Ann and the rest of her UK tour, please visit:
    pamann.com / @pamannairbitch / facebook.com/pamannairhostess

  • Ten Musicals That Failed In The UK

    Musicals are an expensive business and when they go right it can be a cash cow for the producers, theatres and the entire West End, but get it wrong and you might never work in show business again.

    Musicals that failed in the West End

    Here are some of the musicals that couldn’t cut the mustard in the West End or on their UK tour. Some of them should have been successful, and some of them should never have left the drawing board.

    Viva Forever

    I mean this musical had everything going for it, apart from the sales. Backed by the Spice Girls, written by Jennifer Saunders; sounded as though it should have been a shoo-in, but just six months after it opened it closed its doors for the last time. So dire was the show that even our reviewer couldn’t bring himself to love it. Apparently, the show’s producer Judy Craymer and her backers lost millions on the project.

    Urinetown

    Now Urinetown deserved to be more successful, tongue in cheek humour, fantastic songwriting, worldly issues discussed, brilliantly performed but a name that nobody could get into…

    Happy Days The Musical

    Mondays, Tuesdays happy days, Wednesday, closed. Despite massive profile building on a Channel 4 show, a member of Buck Fizz and backed by the Fonz himself, Happy Days couldn’t get the bums on seats in its UK Tour.

    I Can’t Sing

    It was more like I Can’t Sell Tickets, we could have told you that, in fact, I think we did. This was the worst idea for a musical, like ever. It ran for just two months and costing producers allegedly millions of pounds. First of all knocking Geri Halliwell’s singing is the death knell to any project. That Spice has fingers in all sorts of pies. Geri-Spice-hands… The world has had enough of X Factor; dwindling viewing figures tell you that – it’s only a number 1 show because there is nothing else to watch come those cold dark nights (in August).

    Wag! The Musical.

    Oh dear god, I mean where do you go with this? People actually hate wags, so making a musical about them is almost like writing a musical about Josie Cunningham and Katie Hopkins. No wait that actually might work.

    Gone With the Wind.

    After just 79 performances GWTW closed, so bad was it that many reviewers couldn’t give a proper critique of the show, as they had to leave in the second half. Described as long, half-hearted and with forgettable music no wonder nobody wanted to go and see it.

    Stephen Ward

    The musical closed after just four months. Despite the backing and creative genius of Andrew Lloyd Webber and a reported £2.5 million pumped into it, people just couldn’t get into or care about the Profumo Affair. Speaking to the Telegraph ALW said, “I haven’t had a hit in 20 years, I’ve written six musicals in that time.” Has he lost his touch as…

    The Beautiful Game

    Lasted just 11 months. I mean a musical about Football. The first rule of musicals, know your audience.

    From Here To Eternity

    Was anything but. Lasting just five months – despite rave reviews and Darius as the lead, people weren’t interested in watching a musical about Pearl Harbour.

    Lord Of The Rings

    Lasted 12 months, but at £25m it was one of the most, if not most expensive musicals to be mounted. Described by the Guardian as the most costly ‘musical mistake in West End History’. Wizard….

  • Channel 4 announces season of programming for the 50th year of gay decriminalisation

    Channel 4 will be marking the partial decriminalisation of homosexuality in the UK by broadcasting a raft of programming to celebrate LGBT life in the UK.

    A number of landmark productions are set to be broadcast on Channel 4 as it marks 50 years since homosexuality was decriminalised in England and Wales.

    Not Guilty charts the stories of some of the 15,000 British men criminalised for offences under long-defunct anti-homosexuality laws. Epidemic (working title w/t) reveals how an unlikely coalition of gay campaigners Tory politicians, and pioneering doctors came together to fight AIDS in the 1980s – and changed Britain forever in the process. In 50 Shades of Gay (w/t) Rupert Everett, in a series of surprising encounters with gay people of all ages, delivers his own personal take on the changes in gay life and culture that have happened in Britain in the past 50 years. And Coming Out (w/t) reveals how while campaigners were battling Parliament for legal reforms,  the real frontline in the fight to win acceptance for gay culture was the arena of pop music.

    Rob Coldstream, Commissioning Editor, Special Factual said,

    “History can tell us as much about the present day as it does about the past and I’m thrilled to announce this slate of programmes – its incredibly wide ranging but at its heart is brilliant new journalism, and a fresh lens onto the past that offers new insights into our own times.”