COLUMN | Dating Dilemma8th July 2014
When embarking on a new relationship, or even trying to throw a bit of glitter back into your existing one, we find ourselves putting forward ideas for activities we may not have thought about doing previously. Have you ever looked back on anything you once did with a significant other and thought, “WTF?!”.
Perhaps I am a little out of touch with the haze that surrounds you in the beginning of a new relationship. In a moment of excitement, such as the honeymoon phase, deciding what to have for dinner can seem epic and I understand that entirely. I suppose what does not sit comfortably with me are the cliché scenarios that are bound to pop up whilst you first start dating someone.
You may not believe it, as I have only focused on negatives here, but I would refer to myself as a romantic, and one that enjoys being whisked up in a whirlwind. I am just praying for a bit more originality when the time comes. I certainly have some cards up my sleeve in the waiting line. Do you feel like we need a dating revolution? A re-vamp? Or do you favour the more traditional, predictable routes?
It is understandable if the activity was already high on your other half’s interest list, and you made a compromise to do something together, but it’s when you find an old photo and think, “who was it that was into croquet?!”. I think it’s particularly interesting that during the honeymoon phase, a time when we share our own interests with one another, it’s often during this time we like the idea of trying something new and hope to both enjoy it, as it can then become our “thing”.
For instance, one thing that makes me smirk is when we first get together with someone, we may find it a fabulous idea to go and visit a castle in the countryside. Let’s go for a drive in the countryside and walk around a castle. Happy smiley selfies with eroding bricks in the background to follow. Brilliant. I may be a princess but I gave up castles when they finished on the school outing syllabus, aged 9. There are just some things in life that I don’t believe have any benefit to seeing in the flesh over a photograph. Especially where the UK is concerned. A castle’s gift shop is never as grand as you want it to be (other than its prices), and nobody wants a souvenir where that sh** is made ON SITE, and probably went past its use by like yesteryear.
I suppose you are limited by your location and facilities available in some instances, but what I am trying to understand is surely during a time of prime opportunity of getting to know one another, it’s often that we favour distraction and not attraction. I also have a few problems with some of our more traditional date settings too…
The Cinema. Alternatively we could just put a film on at home, and not talk to each other for the next two hours without having to leave the house or spend money on transport and a ticket? Am I the only one that finds the cinema the most unromantic thing ever? Specifically for a date. Paying to sit in a room full of strangers, and essentially watch TV with them, whilst not saying a word to the person you’re actually there with. As for the “whole experience”- If it’s a movie we’re watching then I would rather that experience, be without queues, over priced drinks (and it’s not even alcohol) and breathing in other peoples demon popcorn breath.
Kids at the age of 14 now look about 25 so makes it more annoying when they don’t get asked for I.D and continue to hold the screening hostage to their moronic teenage outbursts. To be fair my friend and I did the same thing at that age when Lord of the Rings first came out. From the moment the movie started playing, we continued to apply minty lip gloss that glared back at the bright screen like beacons and pulled crazy wide mouthed faces every time the screaming horses had a scene.
Picnic. Even the word aggravates me. Picnic picnic picnic. Blergh. I love the idea of a gorgeous summer’s day and arriving somewhere picturesque, slow motion holding a pastel coloured sun umbrella. My silk shawl sliding down my shoulders as I place the wicker hamper down on the tartan blanket. But no- the basket is fricking heavy… okay so the carrier bags are heavy. There is way too much food and EVERYTHING appears to have been marinated in mayonnaise so will have to be thrown away after more than an hour in the heat. Some form of nature; a dog, bee, baby, etc. is going to ruin the ambience and moment of calm and it’s really stressful even thinking about this right now.
“Hey bebe, let’s watch the sun-set tonight”. Unless you’re in an amazing part of the world, or it’s a special day, I’m not going to go out my way to book an appointment with something that happens every day. I would find the whole thing far much more romantic if this scenario was organic and the sun just so happened to be setting with wet sand between our toes on the other side of the planet. Personally, I am more of a sun-riser kinda guy anyway. Maybe now I’m just being a bit difficult.
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