Am I a victim? Should older gay men be suing the government for psychological abuse? I am not waving the Rainbow flag whilst screaming “victim here!” It’s just a question about perspective.

Picture this – A young straight boy is dropped into a community of gay men and lesbians; then throughout his formative and adolescent years, he only ever witnesses scenes of affection and kissing between same-sex couples. He never sees any acts of sex and doesn’t know anything about it.

As the boy grows he feels he is different and recognises he has feelings for girls and wants to kiss and be affectionate with them, but knows this is not how the society he lives in functions.

Would his experience be that of a victim of grooming?

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I came into a world that was profoundly and solely heterosexual or so I thought. I only ever saw kissing and cuddling between a man and a woman. It was all there was on television. Life seemed predetermined to grow up get a job a girlfriend, get married.

The answer to the question is no. I shouldn’t be suing the government. There is no retrospective implementation of compensation for a life lost or damaged whilst waiting for acceptance from society.

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