Well, I never… Sometimes one can be totally of the moment without doing a darn thing. It turns out I have a Dad Bod.
The Dad Bod had been much blogged about of late; it is, and I quote, a physique that says‘’ “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.”
Okay, someone has clearly been reading my diary.
The problem is that we live in a time where everything has to be overanalysed and commented on, that being Average has to have a big fat (well, if not fat exactly, then definitely lacking in killer abs) label shoved on it and described as a trend.
Believe me, thousands of us go to the gym, begrudgingly spend 30 minutes on a treadmill and then spend Saturday night getting our moneys worth at the Chinese buffet long before it became a thing for Buzzfeed to get itself overheated about.
Much has been written in the last few weeks about slightly gone to seed middle aged blokes. Basically we are so hit right now. That is not to say that there is not a more serious point here about what healthy looks like. Frankly though it’s rather nice to see a relatable physique put up on a pedestal for once because as much as I enjoy the stream of the shirtless and godlike on my Instagram feed, it can make one feel a little bit inadequate. And fat…
Of course, the gays are not above shoving people into categories. “Bears” – our version of the Dad Bod, in theory at least. For the unitiated, and if you are then why the heck are you reading this website, according to Wikipedia this is a “often a larger, hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.” Having been to bear club and seen the crowd reaction when the DJ drops a Kylie record, I could dispute the rugged masculinity part but that’s another story.
The problem is that within the language of the bear community the sheer number of different boxes according to type is exhausting. To name a few ‘’panda’’, ‘’otter’’, ‘’grizzly’’, ‘’koala’’, “chub’’, “wolf’’.
Yep, us gayers definitely like our labels. And not just on a designer jockstrap.
Articles like the stuff about Dad Bods is yet another example of good old click bait, creating a story out of nothing to get it shared and debated on social media. Very 2015.
But as a middle aged bloke with a bit of body hair, a love for red wine and a workout schedule that is at the moment best called “light’, I’ve often wasted time wondering where I belong on the gay scale. Not beefy or furry enough to be a bear and I vaguely remember that actual otters have webbed paws so I’m not entirely comfortable comparing myself to them.
So Dad Bod… Yes, it’s a silly term but the good news is I read the blurb and think “Yup, that’s me’’.
Now if you excuse me, I must work on my physique. There’s a bottle of merlot and a large Four Cheese pizza calling me and I just answer to keep on trend.
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Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.