how to make your cum taste better
Get ready for some clean livin'

We’ve been told that the white stuff is good for us, but something tells me they aren’t talking about your boyfriend’s love milk.

We’ve all been there, on your knees, boyfriend’s face in complete ecstasy as he deposits a load in your mouth and you think – “quick someone pass the water / Dettol or duck, what the hell have I just swallowed?”

Well have no fear my cum guzzling friends, here are 10 ways to make your junk taste as sweet as honey.

1. WASH IT ALL OUT

We hear it all the time… ‘Drink more water!’ It washes out all the pollutants – not only great for your cum’s taste but great for skin, liver and kidneys.

2. POLLUTION

Cut down on the pollutants, these are: Alcohol, caffeine, recreational drugs and nicotine. Want to read more about giving up alcohol? Read our editor’s journey to sobriety.

3. VEGGIE DIET

Makes for good tasting sperm, but there are ones to avoid: Cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and asparagus all can lead to a bad tasting Oil Of Man.

4. GET FRUITY

Pineapples, papayas, cranberries, melons, mangos, apples, grapes and lemons are all good choices. Fruits that are high in natural sugars help offset the bitter taste of your man chowder.

5. MEATY MEAL

Red meats have to go, I’m sorry, but if you want to keep your boy smiling, then it’s out with meats, like beef, lamb and pork. Swap with good quality, high protein cuts of chicken and turkey.

6. CHEESY

Too many dairy products can make your Man Mayonnaise taste salty, so is best to keep consumption of cheese and milk to a minimum.

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7. VAMPIRES

Vampires don’t like garlic, and neither do your two little love-juice making chums. Onions, as well as garlic, are big offenders when it comes to a nasty tasting load, because of their high sulphur content.

8. HERE COMES THE SCIENCE BIT

High chlorophyll is good for tasty cupid’s toothpaste. You can find chlorophyll in parsley, wheatgrass, and celery.

9. TEAS

Ever wondered what extras to put in your Starbuck’s coffee, well Cinnamon is brilliant, as well as other spices such as cardamom.

10. EAT FROM THE EARTH

Junk food makes your Juice taste bad – they’re full of chemicals and preservatives, which pollute your body.

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Changes to your food intake will start to have effect on your Love Liquor in around 12 to 24 hours, so keep this in mind; it’s best to have a day of clean livin’ for the rampant dirty night after.

On a more serious note, if your semen smells bad, this might be a sign of infection and you should perhaps visit your GP.