We catch up with Drag Queens Of London’s Rosie Beaver, who talks about dating and mating, why drag queens should never date each other and why App dating is sooo over….
Tell me about your dating history. Have you had long terms partners, has it been short and sweet bursts, have you been single for too long?
I’ve been single just over a year now, before that I was in a relationship with a lovely French guy to had to go back home to study. Since moving to london in 2006 I’ve had a varied dating life. I don’t know if it’s my probable ADHD or just the fact I’m fussy that has made it a bit of a struggle at times. I’m a big ol’ romantic at heart but I’m also a perfectionist so can’t settle for something that’s not right. As much as I enjoy a good night out, I’m very much a cup of tea and a movie person when in a relationship, I adore that feeling of going home and cuddling up, and when I’m single that’s what I miss the most- not having anyone to go home to. Becoming a drag queen, just over two years ago now, has made my dating life more complicated, plus the fact that my 30th birthday is creeping up on me I’m in this odd place of, let’s call it, despair, to be dramatic. I’d always had this notion of being 30, being settled in work and life and having a man there, so to be in such a state of upheaval it makes me a bit restless.
What are the challenges when it comes to dating?
The biggest challenge for me when it comes to dating is meeting people. Sure, there are plenty of apps and sites, but they usually lead to some quick sex and a speedy exit. My last few relationships have all been with people I met in social situations. It seems that nowadays a lot of people are only looking for a quick thrill, which I’m more than guilty of at times, so you never have the time to get to know a person. I enjoy bring a little old fashioned when it comes to dating, taking time and knowing someone is fun. It also makes the sex much better when it happens!
People don’t talk anymore either- it’s a sorry state of affairs when you go into a bar and the only way you can talk to someone is through an app on your phone. When I realised I was gay (15 years old) it was when chat rooms and msn messenger and such were really taking off, so all of my dating life has been side by side and I’ve seen it go from talking and dancing in a club to sitting there texting and poking. I sound like I’m in my 80’s, but goddammit I want a conversation in life, not on an app.
Dating is also expensive, to actually woo someone takes time and money: restaurants, drinks, theatre, it all adds up!
What are you looking for in a partner?
My biggest things I’m looking for are a damn good sense of humour and that indescribable chemistry. That feeling where you can’t wait to rip off someone’s clothes but also want to snuggle in front of a fire in baggy jumpers watching trash movies. I’m a big kid at heart so I need someone who can be silly with me and watch spongebob. Someone who has their own life, passions and interests, but shares and takes interest in mine… This is sounding like a personal ad…. I also enjoy long walks and knitting.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Oh I have so many- and they’re all the obvious ones. Zac Efron is looking hot right now, but for marriage I’d go for Joseph Gordon Levitt.
How do you find dates? Dating websites? Through friends? On a night out?
I used to use all the gay ‘dating’ apps, Grindr,Scruff etc, but have removed myself from them as it seems people are after only one thing, and usually when I logged on to them I’d be in the mood for something like that too. You get caught in a rut with apps like that. I have actually met a fair few guys from Twitter in the past. It’s a great site to chat away casually with someone and get to know them, their likes, and their sense of humour, then you can start to DM, exchange numbers and take it from there. One of my longest relationships (the one who when I get drunk I still Facebook stalk) started through a twitter follow!
Have you had any horror/funny stories?
There’s nothing worse than a stagnant date. I pride myself on being able to make dates fun, but there’s been a few where you sit there clock watching. Luckily no horror stories yet!
What is their reaction usually, when you tell them you are a drag queen?
Most people are a little unsure on the idea right away, but when you explain and tell them it’s a job and tell them that you DON’T want to be a woman (everyone asks that!) then it’s usually fine. A lot of gay men and drag queens have stories that are horrific in and out of the dating world, but I’ve been very lucky to have a supportive circle of family and friends throughout my life.
Do you tell them upfront that you are a drag queen or leave it a while?
I leave it a while, I always feel odd bringing it up. I think that’s my insecurities and fear of them not liking me than a judgement on the guys I date though. I want to find a man who like Chris, not Rosie!
Have you ever dated another drag queen? If so how was it? Would you do it again?
Nope, never have. It’d make it easier to date one as we’d know each other’s way of life and how demanding it is. I don’t think I would though as it’s also nice to have someone outside or the world you’re in to go home to and vent all your frustrations!
If you were new to the dating scene – what would be your tips? Where would you go to find dates? Any good sites?
Try and talk to people in life. Tell some jokes. Get your group of friends to join tables with another … There’s nothing better than meeting and giving your number to someone you’ve met in real life, and waiting til he texts (or doesn’t!). Speed dating is fun too- Village Drinks and 28 Gays Later are both great fun. If you do want to go online the Tinder app is the only one I use as it feels more social and talk based, as opposed to sending your cock shot as an opening line. Twitter too is as good as any site to chat and flirt…. And you can find boy me @chrisdclegg if you want to say hi!
Drag Queens Of London continues tonight at 10:00PM on London Live